How I Honor Our Fallen on Memorial Day - A Gold Star Wife’s Perspective

2023-05-08T12:30:05-04:00

As a Gold Star spouse whose husband gave the ultimate sacrifice almost 10 years ago, Memorial Day holds special significance for me.

Celebrating the many freedoms we enjoy in our country always leads me back to gratitude for the men and women of our military - people who voluntarily sign up because they love their country and they’re ready to serve. My husband, Navy LCDR Landon Jones, was one of those people.

I admit, gratitude has not always come easily for me. When Landon died in a helicopter training accident in 2013, it was life shattering. My sons were so young, 6 years and 2 months old, when we learned their father was never coming home.

During that first year after Landon’s death, I was consumed by grief, reading countless reports and searching for a “reason” surrounding his accident. In 2014, I met a fellow Gold Star spouse, who told me about Travis Manion Foundation (TMF). I felt drawn to the organization when I learned it was led by two Gold Star family members, people who could understand my grief and all the emotions that came with it.

It took me another whole year to feel like I was ready to engage with the world again. I went on a TMF Survivor Expedition for family members of the fallen and began participating in community service projects. In the years that have followed, I’ve found a true family and I’ve leaned into honoring Landon through beach clean-ups, food distributions, clothing drives, and other service opportunities. I’ve pushed myself physically by running the Marine Corps Marathon (MCM) and helping rebuild homes alongside other survivors. I’ve found purpose and meaning by continuing his legacy of service.

I’ve also involved my two sons in my commitment to serve. I can tell you, 100%, my life would be very different if I had never adopted this new calling and connected with TMF - and I can say the same for my kids. The organization - and the community of support I have found in it - has played a critical role in my healing journey.

There is one project, though, that’s especially close to my heart. For the past two Memorial Days, I’ve volunteered with TMF to honor our fallen heroes through #TheHonorProject. Alongside other families of the fallen, veterans, and people who simply have a calling to serve, I spend Memorial Day weekend placing commemorative tokens at the resting places of fallen heroes, and pausing to honor their service and sacrifice. You can learn more here: https://rly.pt/TMFHonorProject

For me, #TheHonorProject is special. It’s not only a way for my sons and I to honor Landon on a special day of remembrance; it offers us a chance to see other people outside of our family honor his sacrifice. I can’t explain what that means to all of us.

When I think of and honor Landon now, it no longer comes from a place of sadness. It comes from a place of pride and gratitude for knowing him, being thankful for the time I had with him, and the opportunity to serve my community in his name. Join me and TMF in #TheHonorProject this Memorial Day to honor all our fallen, and to show our families of the fallen that these heroes are not forgotten.

The Honor Project

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made May 8 at 2023 1:36 PM

2023-05-08T13:36:38-04:00

Excellent share sister Theresa Jones

Response by Maj Kim Patterson made May 8 at 2023 1:38 PM

2023-05-08T13:38:38-04:00

Excellent post Theresa Jones what a wonderful way to honor his service, keep his memory alive and share the load with others. My condolences for your loss and thank you for all you do.

Response by SGT Ruben Lozada made May 10 at 2023 12:21 PM

2023-05-10T12:21:29-04:00

Good afternoon Theresa Jones. Excellent post. Thank You for sharing this.

Response by SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL made May 21 at 2023 12:21 PM

2023-05-21T12:21:33-04:00

Theresa Jones solid read/share my friend.

Response by Lt Col Charlie Brown made May 21 at 2023 5:07 PM

2023-05-21T17:07:21-04:00

Thank you for what you are doing. I love working with Gold Star families through TAPS and Red Cross Service to the Armed Forces and I hope for the day that we don't generate any more folks for that "club" Theresa Jones

Response by CPT David Gowel made May 26 at 2023 9:05 AM

2023-05-26T09:05:51-04:00

Theresa Jones thank you for sharing your story. My brother and I lost our father unexpectedly and tragically when I was 7. I learned about true leadership immediately from my mother from that horrible moment until this very day by how she dealt with such grief while keeping a focus on taking care of my brother and I while being a leader in her profession (she was and still is, a nurse). What I can tell you from having a child's perspective in that experience is that the actions you have taken and continue to lead your family in taking to both honor Landon and create a sense of purpose for your sons is life changing for them. You're a role model for other gold star spouses and I hope you will continue to let us all know what we can do to help you and others like you who have sacrificed so much for us all. I will share your story with my family and this Memorial Day, Landon, your boys, and you will be in our thoughts and prayers.

Response by Capt Brandon Charters made May 26 at 2023 10:24 AM

2023-05-26T10:24:04-04:00

Thank you, Theresa. I'm thinking about you & Landon this weekend.

Response by 1stSgt Ronald Sheps made May 29 at 2023 3:21 AM

2023-05-29T03:21:45-04:00

Veterans see the world different, no question about it. We sleep eat breath laugh cry shower together in a strange relationship we can only compare to and call "brotherhood". When in the blink of an eye we lose that person we move on because we have to. There is a finality, however harsh, but there is one. But our closure is unquestionably denied to the those who gave our brother in arms their life their love their far off look and smile of what is waiting back in the world. But the Hell of lack of closure, lack of knowing what really happened and the one million "what ifs" are not something we spend time considering. I've read and reread this post and can never put myself in that person's heart , to really know and really appreciate the loss. We can only be grateful that our brother had a woman like this in his life. We don't have enough articulate survivors to tell the world this story. Thank you for putting into words thoughts that have rumbled through my mind many times before. Your journey is an incredible story that should be taught to our children when we talk of the price of freedom. In biblical terms, you are truly a woman of valor.

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 27 at 2023 4:44 PM

2023-07-27T16:44:38-04:00

I'm glad you found something which works for you and your family, and were able to move forward.
The link that was provided. I clicked on it, and the first thing it does is ask for your location. So I put in my Zip Code and it says:

"We're Sorry_

There are no events scheduled in your area.

Please see below to get connected to TMF virtually."

The next thing it did was try and ask me for money $30 dollars to support a student.

I'm not interested in making someone else's cause mine, and I don't like being asked for money when all of my income is derived from VA disability. It's not that I can't afford to give, but if I try and take care of everyone else - who will take care of me and my own family?

I also enjoy serving other people, it helps alleviate my mental health issues but am careful in regards to throwing money at any organization to effect change.