How does your family feel about your career?

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 23 Jul 2014 23:30:29 -0400

I was married to a civilian when I enlisted. I couldn't discuss anything military-related.Let's say, he had a huge temper problem when I'd be late getting back from duty.
Married a soldier the second time. We discuss everything military-related. He packs my ruck, buys me cool field gear. My kids go to military camp. Most importantly, it's all they've ever known. They know Mommy has to do Army stuff.
Are your families supportive?

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 24 at 2014 12:33 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 00:33:29 -0400

Before I signed up for ROTC my parents were supportive, but cautious of military. We all hear about lies that recruiters tell. I made sure I did my homework and never allowed for me to be lied to by anyone. After I signed the dotted line I was surprised how fast it went to being 100% supportive. Oh I saw this Army thing today...etc. I am blessed to have them be supportive of me and they watched my cat while I was deployed and when I am away at schools or annual training for 2 plus weeks. My grandparents when they were alive were supportive as well. Both my grandfathers served in World War II. Prior to deploying only one of them was still alive and he was proud and he emailed me when I was in the Afghanistan and congratulated me on pinning Captain. I still have that email.

Response by MSG Wade Huffman made Jul 24 at 2014 7:18 AM

MSG Wade Huffman — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 07:18:48 -0400

My parents were very supportive when I enlisted, but that was a much different world than today. I was also very fortunate after I married; my wife assimilated well into the military life style and to be quite honest, when I retired in 2006, she wasn't really ready for it to end. Now my children are grown and both appreciate the experiences that they had as a result of being 'Army Brats' and my son is now Active Duty Army. I realize this may not be typical, but that's my story.

Response by SFC William Swartz Jr made Jul 24 at 2014 9:01 AM

SFC William Swartz Jr — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 09:01:48 -0400

My parents both supported me as they knew that this is what I wanted to do from the age of 5...I married a "Brat", so I was lucky in that I never had to explain too much too her about what I did and never had to "worry" about whether she'd be able to handle things while I was gone. She and our 3 sons were very supportive and proud of my service and now she and I have our middle son to be proud of as he serves his country and is on his first deployment, albeit to Kuwait, but no less worrisome with the idiocy occurring in Iraq.

Response by SFC Stephen Carden made Jul 24 at 2014 10:06 AM

SFC Stephen Carden — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 10:06:15 -0400

I had no problems with my family supporting what I do. My mother had to sign the paperwork when I enlisted into the USAR at the age of 17! My father and grandfather were both in the Army (not careerists though), so I am third generation. My dad still can't believe that I have served over 20 years! It was always the spouses that I had problems with. My first two wives were from non-military families and had a hard time understanding the lifestyle. It made being married to them pretty hard too, because they had no interest in learning. For my third (and final) marriage, I married an Army brat. She grew up in the Army and her dad retired after 26 years in uniform, so she knew as much as I did about being in the Army! Now, she is a triple threat: Army brat, Army wife, and Army mom. My stepson is in Kuwait on his first enlistment.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 24 at 2014 10:06 AM

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 10:06:17 -0400

My family supports my decision to be enlisted as we got together in my 4th year. I've been in 9 years now and at times it's hard with a 2 year old and she has to still work when I'm gone but because I plan on retiring and have goals established for career development, she knows this is to support us in the long run and it's something I've always had a drive to do. It also helps her older brother is a former Marine and been in as long time while she was young.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 22 at 2014 9:54 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 09:54:12 -0400

My husband is supportive because he was in the military. But, since hes been out for awhile its hard for him to follow and understand. But, he still tries to understand and be as supportive as I need him to be.

But, I did date a jackwagon that was all 'uuugh dumb Army... Why this... Why that... bla bla bla' complained about everything. And as soon as the words 'if your unit ever gets mobilized youre getting pregnant' came out of his mouth... He was gone. Toodle-oos! #aintnobodygottimeforthat

No honor, no integrity, no appreciation.

Now, the rest of my family is very supportive. I think some people forget the time commitment that the Army needs from you and that you have a second family - mostly foul language people, that are your brothers and sisters from another mother. Some are more supportive than others.

I think that for some family members its much harder than others. But, thats how it goes I guess?

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Aug 28 at 2014 12:17 PM

SFC Mark Merino — Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:17:21 -0400

I was married to the WRONG woman and it was a nightmare. NOTE TO SELF: If you are a kid from a small town in Pennsylvania, NEVER marry a woman from Huntington Beach, California who has never left home before. Lesson #1...Some people believe that the earth in 72* and sunny all year round.Lesson #2...If you go meet the parents and their neighborhood is nicer than anywhere you have been on vacation....... Lesson #3...Pay attention to lessons 1 & 2.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 28 at 2014 1:17 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 28 Aug 2014 13:17:34 -0400

Don't know how I found her (yeah I do), but we could not be more supportive of each other's career. She is a Teacher (1st Grade) and I am Emergency Manager/EOC Ops Coordinator. There is a slight age difference between us (20 yrs) but after 5 yrs together now, we know that is not an issue, We both get along great with each other's frinends and family. She understands I do travel from time to time (most recently this past June for 3 weeks), but generally for only a few days at a time. When she wants to visit her family during the sumer...I pack the car and send her on her way if I'm not able to get away. She loves to cook, and I help out...doing the dishes and cleaning up afterwards. When I have training or instructing on weekends, she gets it, and is extremely supportive. We communcate, we plan, we schedule ahead when we want to do something special together. And when it's planned, neither of us are hesitant to tell everyone else, NOPE, can't make, we got plans, maybe next time. We took out time (unheard of these days) getting to know each other before we took it to the next step, moved in together. She drives 40 miles to work and I drive 8 minutes. She wants to continue where she is (loves it) and I have no problem with it. In fact , we take make the big step OCT 11th, "We're jumping the Broom!" Oh, 3rd and last for both of us! Right now we haven't made up our mind if we're going to Darlington or Talladega for our NASCAR Race of the year. Most likely Darlington, she's driven Talladega (169MPH) a couple years ago.

Response by SSgt Gregory Guina made Aug 28 at 2014 2:00 PM

SSgt Gregory Guina — Thu, 28 Aug 2014 14:00:08 -0400

My wife was a Navy brat growing up and understands the military lifestyle (sort of). She thinks a lot of the stuff that I have to do is stupid and I can't argue that.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 28 at 2014 2:13 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 28 Aug 2014 14:13:11 -0400

I too married a civilian the first (and only - still going) time. At first she was not very supportive, but not because she didn't care. She just didn't know or understand. I have been married 12 years now and deployed 5 times in that span. Her younger brother joined the USMC and is deployed now. After all of this she has definitely grown to understand and is one of the most supportive people of the military in general that I know.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 1 at 2014 7:59 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 01 Sep 2014 07:59:41 -0400

My wife of 15 years knew what she was getting into; I had already been in four years when we met - six when we married. She has been amazing and supportive and all anyone could want in an Army wife. How she put up with four deployments with small children on two of them I don't know.

The support has been great, but now that I have 21 plus years in, the chorus of "when are you going to retire?" gets louder. I say not yet - and my wife hugs me and still supports as she always has.
I am a very lucky man, because the stories both here and all around me as I return home are very different.
I am very grateful to have chosen the right partner the first time. First time "GO"!

Response by CPT Jacob Swartout made Sep 1 at 2014 10:18 PM

CPT Jacob Swartout — Mon, 01 Sep 2014 22:18:55 -0400

Both my family and wife are supportive of my decision to join the Army.