How do you react to civilian women/dependents saying females in the service are a distraction to military men?

PO1 Kerry French — Sat, 04 Mar 2017 23:45:43 -0500

Response by SFC George Smith made Mar 4 at 2017 11:48 PM

SFC George Smith — Sat, 04 Mar 2017 23:48:33 -0500

interesting ... As a Guy I left My wives at Home while deployed... there was no Distraction... they got Bord and Ran off...

Response by PO1 Kerry French made Mar 4 at 2017 11:49 PM

PO1 Kerry French — Sat, 04 Mar 2017 23:49:21 -0500

I was at an event today and it was made known that I did 20 in the military... then these women start talking near me saying that we female vets/Active Duty are a "distraction" to the men in the military. I bit my tongue but I was so pissed when I got home... My dogs probably think I am crazy. These stupid women have NO idea what it is like being a woman in the military yet they run their pie holes like they know. I think it is denigrating to our service. Glad I didn't act on my feelings because I would have ripped them a new one in front of everyone.

Response by COL Charles Williams made Mar 5 at 2017 12:18 AM

COL Charles Williams — Sun, 05 Mar 2017 00:18:48 -0500

PO1 Kerry French Who is a distraction? Women in the military? I would set them straight... I that is what you are referring to.

Response by SSG Jessica Bautista made Mar 5 at 2017 1:20 AM

SSG Jessica Bautista — Sun, 05 Mar 2017 01:20:00 -0500

To the women, I usually say one of two things:
1. Nobody wants your man.
2. Well, tell him to be a better human.

To the men:
1. If you're that distracted by us, maybe you don't have the discipline to be in the service.
2. Sounds like a personal problem.

I also employ a variety of facial expressions, all shady.

Response by PFC Jonathan Albano made Mar 5 at 2017 1:36 AM

PFC Jonathan Albano — Sun, 05 Mar 2017 01:36:07 -0500

It was always dependent on the situation. My normal thing to do was say "Obviously, those men need some remedial training on professionalism. I for one don't see gender when I look at the people on my team. I see their work ethic. Regardless of gender, there are those striving to live up to Army standards, and those that need kicked in the shins."

Response by SMSgt Roger Horton made Mar 5 at 2017 5:43 AM

SMSgt Roger Horton — Sun, 05 Mar 2017 05:43:07 -0500

I didn't see women as a distraction. The time I was in the Marines there was no women in the units I was in. In the Air National Guard they were Airmen. They went to the field and performed as their male counterparts did. Other than having separate sleeping and shower arrangements we were all the same.

Response by CW2 Donald Kempf made Mar 5 at 2017 10:06 AM

CW2 Donald Kempf — Sun, 05 Mar 2017 10:06:52 -0500

Moot point to me. There have always been women in the military for me and it was never an issue.

Response by SPC Jill Drushal, RN, MA made Mar 5 at 2017 1:52 PM

SPC Jill Drushal, RN, MA — Sun, 05 Mar 2017 13:52:17 -0500

When I was a PFC at Ft. Riley, KS, I was tasked with gathering transmission oil samples from all of our trucks. I was also told to train a newly-assigned male PV2 on the proper way to do this task while preventing contamination of the samples. As we were walking out of our shop, this idiot PV2 said, "Women don't belong in the Army, especially in the motor pool." I stopped dead in my tracks and I did rip him a new one. He never insulted me or my gender again.

Response by LtCol Robert Quinter made Mar 5 at 2017 5:56 PM

LtCol Robert Quinter — Sun, 05 Mar 2017 17:56:48 -0500

We didn't have as many women in the Corps during my day, but I held them to performance standards and they did well. the only thing distracting about them was they were generally better looking and smelled better, but that didn't hurt a thing!

Response by SGT Matthew S. made Mar 5 at 2017 8:41 PM

SGT Matthew S. — Sun, 05 Mar 2017 20:41:56 -0500

I've never seen the logic of the argument. If you continue that thought out to its final stupidity, then males/females would need to be separated for their entire lives so there wouldn't be any "distractions" anywhere.

I've never actually heard anyone express it, but my first reaction to hearing it is always to shake my head in utter disbelief.

While I was on Active Duty, I was in a male-only MOS with very few females around as medics, mechanics, etc. Yes, there were male Soldiers who were "distracted", but the majority had no issues whatsoever. For those that it affected their performance of their duties, they would have been "distracted" regardless of where they were

Response by Cpl Justin Goolsby made Mar 6 at 2017 8:35 AM

Cpl Justin Goolsby — Mon, 06 Mar 2017 08:35:26 -0500

I don't pay it too much attention. They are most likely part of 2 different mindsets. One mindset stems from the belief that war is a man's world and women have no part in it. The second mindset stems from standard petty jealousy. Maybe they attempted to enlist and washed out. Maybe they weren't good enough to enlist. Or just maybe the standard spousal paranoia that "those tramps are going to lead my man astray when he's deployed".

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Even in a civilian setting, people find it weird if men and women are friends or work well together. There will always be people who talk and spread rumors that "something must be going on between them".

I leave gossip to the gossipers.

Response by SGT David T. made Mar 6 at 2017 8:39 AM

SGT David T. — Mon, 06 Mar 2017 08:39:03 -0500

Sounds like they are insecure about their relationships.

Response by SGT Ben Keen made Mar 6 at 2017 11:01 AM

SGT Ben Keen — Mon, 06 Mar 2017 11:01:47 -0500

Honestly, I think if anyone said that, they need to look in a mirror first and evaluate their situation. I never found women to be a distraction when I served.

Response by Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth made Mar 6 at 2017 12:17 PM

Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth — Mon, 06 Mar 2017 12:17:07 -0500

My answer to all of them is that when I see someone in uniform all I see is a Soldier, Sailor, Airman, or Marine...period. They enlisted or went to Officer Schools and are a service member first and foremost and that all members have input and are value added to the military institution or we wouldn't have let them join. If a man can't control his urges and there is a female around and is distracts them, then it is their fault not the females and he needs to find another line of work and that usually ends the conversation!!! These people are hurting for something to talk about.

As far as being a distraction, they are only a distraction if they want to be. Let me explain. If they are doing what they are trained to do then there aren't any problems. However, on very rare occasions, and I mean very rare occasions, I have seen MEN AND WOMEN use their personality or looks to get their way by flirting or after duty on deployments dressing provocatively or trying to "hookup" and that causes a distraction. You did that with me I put you on extra duty and if it continued you went home with paperwork and your unit had to send someone to replace you...didn't have time for that kind of BS. However, women as a whole, do not. They are extremely important to the mission and to me there is no gender, only the military member. All I care about is that you have my back and that you know that I have yours.

Response by SFC Dennis A. made Mar 6 at 2017 2:19 PM

SFC Dennis A. — Mon, 06 Mar 2017 14:19:20 -0500

While in the military some of the best soldiers I served with were female and about 7 out of 10 time it was the male soldier being a distraction because they would not leave her alone while she was trying to do her job. It goes both ways plus jealousy is a B____h, they most likely did not have the guts or intestinal fortitude to join the military themselves.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 6 at 2017 5:16 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 06 Mar 2017 17:16:03 -0500

Here's where I kind of differ and go against the grain. Bear in mind, this is merely my opinion, based upon the ONLY environment in the military that I work with women in:

Women in the military ARE a distraction. But not for the reason that you think. Consider this:

A confident young man -- a little rough around the edges, maybe -- gets assigned to an installation and duty position WAY out of his element (say, an Infantryman sent to Fort Jackson to do HR work). He goes from a band of rag-tag, crude, offensive hard-chargers, to a neatly organized desk surrounded by women. That's me.

Now, I don't really give a damn what they look like, because I don't allow myself to see past the uniform. However, I know very well (and have been warned repeatedly), that my word is shit compared to theirs. So I worry often that one of them will say some off-hand remark, or make a pass at me (as I am recently single), and get upset when I rebuff them. This leads to worry that they will try to launch a SHARP investigation or EO, or some other such nonsense for a simple matter of me telling them that I'm not interested, or that I am not going to be spoken to like I'm an invalid (professionalism seems to be so difficult for some, these days). So since my word is shit, and theirs is gold, that would leave me high and dry of even slightly hurting a woman's feelings (because yes, a great many of them are that petty).

So are women a distraction? Absolutely. But not because of any indecency, or sexual interest. But simply because of the fear that actions or accusations will be levied against me, and I will not be given fair due process in the course of the investigation (because I have watched it happen on four different occasions in two years).

Response by MSgt Mark Bucher made Mar 8 at 2017 11:59 AM

MSgt Mark Bucher — Wed, 08 Mar 2017 11:59:22 -0500

That's just bullshit by insecure dependents. Never had any issues with any of the women who worked for me during my career.

Response by MSgt Rosemary Connolly made Mar 9 at 2017 12:06 PM

MSgt Rosemary Connolly — Thu, 09 Mar 2017 12:06:29 -0500

Wives, I appreciate your contributions to the bake sale! (or fill in the blank). You have been appreciated for all your contributions. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Sorry if I haven't said that recently but I've been busy doing my job.

Response by LT John Chang made Mar 9 at 2017 12:57 PM

LT John Chang — Thu, 09 Mar 2017 12:57:22 -0500

In my opinion (and it's just my own,) women distract guys.. from acting like a bunch of animals! Before our female counterparts deployed aboard ships, you had a bunch of dudes constantly going on about bodily functions. It was six months of Lord of the Flies.

Maybe it's being reminded of how they would act in front of their sisters or mothers, but these guys started shaping up after more and more women were integrated aboard ships. Thank god! Plus, the conversation also became a little more interesting.

Response by SCPO Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 14 at 2017 1:50 AM

SCPO Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 14 Mar 2017 01:50:19 -0400

They have a right to their opinions. Especially when they're right.

Response by Cpl Jay Schleg made Apr 6 at 2017 2:56 PM

Cpl Jay Schleg — Thu, 06 Apr 2017 14:56:32 -0400

As I used to tell my junior Marines, if Uncle Sam wanted you to have a girlfriend, wife, or family then he'd have issued you one.
In my personal opinion most female service personnel in non-combat roles are not a distraction but outstanding Marines, soldiers, sailors, ...
I say most as long as both parties can keep the relationship professional and definitely not romantic/physical.
If you need a personal/physical relationship go off base.
In combat roles, I know that there are some females who can physically and mentally do those jobs better than some males BUT most males that I know would behave differently around (more protective of) females in combat situations than they would a male.

Response by CPO Bill Penrod made Apr 13 at 2017 4:56 PM

CPO Bill Penrod — Thu, 13 Apr 2017 16:56:36 -0400

Why did Navy ships make port calls in forgein ports and post out of bounds signs. Answer: Sailors can get girlfriends.....

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Oct 13 at 2021 7:43 AM

SFC Casey O'Mally — Wed, 13 Oct 2021 07:43:21 -0400

Depending on my mood, and their attitude, if I think they need to be put in their place, I'll look them up and down and then state very matter-of-factly, "With you, ma'am, that wouldn't be a problem." And then walk away.