How do you know when you had TOO MUCH COFFEE?

SSG Robin Rushlo — Fri, 08 Aug 2014 09:38:51 -0400

YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN ...
- You answer the door before people knock. - Juan Valdez has named his donkey after you. - You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit. - You spend your vacations visiting "Maxwell House" - You ski uphill. - You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked. - You can type sixty words per minute with your feet. - You speed walk in your sleep. - The Nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse. - You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse. - You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. - You sleep with your eyes open. - You have to watch videos in fast-forward. - You're the employee of the month at the local coffee house and you don't even work there. - You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in. - The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake. - Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house. - Instant coffee takes too long. - You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. - You help your dog chase its tail. - You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson. - Your first-aid kit contains 2-pints of coffee with an I-V hookup. - You short out motion detectors. - You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore. - You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation." - You lick your coffee pot clean. - Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. - You chew on other people's fingernails. - All your kids are named "Joe" - Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low" - You buy 1/2 and 1/2 by the barrel. - You can jump-start your car without cables. - You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee. - You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them. - You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers. - When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup." - When someone asks, "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop." - Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil. - You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee. - You named your cats "Cream" and "Sugar" - Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position. - You can't even remember your second cup. - You soak your dentures in coffee overnight. - Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London. - You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 8 at 2014 9:43 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 08 Aug 2014 09:43:46 -0400

When you go to work, get half-way there and realize you forgot your car.

Response by SSG Robin Rushlo made Aug 8 at 2014 9:44 AM

SSG Robin Rushlo — Fri, 08 Aug 2014 09:44:43 -0400

This has to ge with the above

Response by SFC William Swartz Jr made Aug 8 at 2014 9:46 AM

SFC William Swartz Jr — Fri, 08 Aug 2014 09:46:28 -0400

Never has happened that I have had too much coffee so I know not of which you speak.... :-P

Response by LCpl Steve Wininger made Aug 8 at 2014 12:20 PM

LCpl Steve Wininger — Fri, 08 Aug 2014 12:20:20 -0400

SSG Robin Rushlo All of the above. But I don't see a problem, I did not know there was such a thing as too much.

Response by MSG Wade Huffman made Aug 8 at 2014 1:03 PM

MSG Wade Huffman — Fri, 08 Aug 2014 13:03:12 -0400

These are ALL lies, myths and urban legends! Everyone knows there is NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH COFFEE!!!!!!

Response by LCpl Steve Wininger made Aug 8 at 2014 1:09 PM

LCpl Steve Wininger — Fri, 08 Aug 2014 13:09:28 -0400

So I go to orientation at my college yesterday. After leaving I stop by the local coffee palace. I ask the cashier if they are hiring, and proceeded to tell her working in this particular coffee place is my dream job. I also asked her if I could rent one of the booths to use as my dorm room.

Response by SFC Robert Allen made Aug 8 at 2014 1:35 PM

SFC Robert Allen — Fri, 08 Aug 2014 13:35:27 -0400

I going to join in the "There's no such thing" crowd. I was a TOC Toad for a lot of years, and nothing would ever get done if there wasn't a big urn of strong brown TOC Juice.

Response by LTC Paul Labrador made Aug 8 at 2014 4:51 PM

LTC Paul Labrador — Fri, 08 Aug 2014 16:51:06 -0400

I get the shakes.

Response by SSG Eric Shuping made Aug 8 at 2014 4:59 PM

SSG Eric Shuping — Fri, 08 Aug 2014 16:59:24 -0400

If you can thread a sewing machine when the needle's moving :)

Response by Cpl Terry Fowler made Aug 9 at 2014 2:39 PM

Cpl Terry Fowler — Sat, 09 Aug 2014 14:39:21 -0400

Dont Drink the stuff

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Aug 23 at 2014 4:27 AM

SFC Mark Merino — Sat, 23 Aug 2014 04:27:37 -0400

No such animal. I'm hooked up to a coffee IV with a caffeine enema bag for the quick boost. I sweat caffeine.

Response by CW5 Sam R. Baker made Sep 17 at 2014 10:57 PM

CW5 Sam R. Baker — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 22:57:38 -0400

When the liquid leaving has the same aroma as that entering.

Response by CDR Kenneth Kaiser made Sep 18 at 2014 7:40 PM

CDR Kenneth Kaiser — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 19:40:02 -0400

When my hand is shaking so much I can't hold my cup...

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 11 at 2014 7:43 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 11 Nov 2014 07:43:57 -0500

There's such a thing as too much coffee???

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 24 at 2015 3:04 PM

CW3 Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 15:04:51 -0400

"You can outlast the Energizer bunny". Um, yeah, my wife's pipe dream.

Response by SFC Christopher Taggart made Jan 25 at 2017 9:06 PM

SFC Christopher Taggart — Wed, 25 Jan 2017 21:06:26 -0500

When the caffeine become non-effective. I've drank coffee for years and I can still take a nap mid-morning or get into bed at bed time...no problems here. I just drink it for the taste.