How do you handle the "Thanks for your service." when there's others that need it more?

PFC James (LURCH) Janota — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 14:14:05 -0500

I think I am going to stop wearing my 2ID hat. Too many times I get "Thank you for your service." and some parts of me cringe because I know some people don't mean it and some part of me feel that their are men and women in their graves that need it more than I do. It's this remorseful feeling I get just cause I'm walking around with my family and sometime I feel guilty about enjoying a family. Maybe I just see too much in this world and I'm on edge about it. Too many dead people and we're still so aggravated in this world. Is there a way to just shut it off enough to take a freaking breath? A lot of times I can't even sleep.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Feb 25 at 2020 2:18 PM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 14:18:29 -0500

I simply thank them for their support, and then I thank someone that rightfully deserves it . WWII, Korean and Vietnam veterans

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 25 at 2020 2:21 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 14:21:51 -0500

I simply say thank you and then tell them that I really don't do anything except make people mad.

Response by CW5 Jack Cardwell made Feb 25 at 2020 2:24 PM

CW5 Jack Cardwell — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 14:24:07 -0500

If they seem sincere I rely in kind. The others I just let it roll off my back, like rain rolls off a ducks back.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 25 at 2020 2:29 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 14:29:59 -0500

I've never been comfortable with that. 36 years, combat vet of Desert Storm and multiple tours in OIF/OEF, too many mobilizations and TDYs to remember. But I always feel like I was just doing my job. no need to thank me for it.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 25 at 2020 2:33 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 14:33:45 -0500

I won't tell you what to do, but I don't wear my service on my sleeve. When approached because I'm travelling in uniform or out somewhere, I simply thank them for their acknowledgment and go on with my day.
I also know that but for fortune, it could have been me broken in body or mind or in the ground. That doesn't mean I served any less; it just means I was more fortunate than some.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 25 at 2020 2:40 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 14:40:07 -0500

I just say, "you are most welcome." Then keep going. It is somewhat like an apology, it is given to make you feel better, how it is received we have no control over. It is easy to get paralysis of analysis. Lighten up on yourself brother and give this some thought. The reason any of us are around is simple, 'we are NOT finished."

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 25 at 2020 3:01 PM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 15:01:59 -0500

PFC James (LURCH) Janota You can say you are welcome or thank them. Many times it is another veteran, so I will often ask if they served. I would rather be thanked for my service than what I endured half a century ago. I do not feel guilty for surviving and you should not either. As for fallen comrades, you can remember them.

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made Feb 25 at 2020 4:02 PM

SFC Michael Hasbun — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 16:02:19 -0500

As a general rule, if you're not a servicemember in uniform, the only reason anyone would be thanking you for your service is if you're purposely wearing clothing, hats, etc... drawing attention to your service.

Despite common trends, veterans are not required to make being a professional veteran a side job. The military was a part of your life, not your whole identity. Move past it.

Create more memories to be proud of. Keep accomplishing. Keep living life. A handful of years from decades ago should not be the highlight of your existance. Life doesn't end with ETS/Chapter/Retirement.

Response by LCDR Joshua Gillespie made Feb 25 at 2020 4:15 PM

LCDR Joshua Gillespie — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 16:15:33 -0500

People mean well; I tend to let them feel "good" about their "good" intentions.

We know the truth Lurch...there are always those questions we ask ourselves that don't have very easy (or very pretty) answers. I used to feel like I hadn't "done enough". I've buried a best friend, and lost many good friends. Many of them didn't die "heroically" (whatever that means); they died because a bolt sheared, or a part failed, or out of 3,000 amazingly accurate decisions made in an hour...they made one bad one. I used to look at people whose roles put them further "down range", longer, under worse circumstances and think to myself, "Gee Dude...it's like you're not even here". Years later, I figured out that this was the wrong perspective to have. Some people went left when others went right. Some people had dreams that carried them one direction...and others just went with the flow. I never met many true "cowards" in any service, MOS, or theater. I did meet a lot of young people doing a pretty tough job far away from home and loves ones for not much money compared to some of their peers. I think that's worth our own genuine self-respect, even if the "other" sometimes comes off as insincere, or inappropriate.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Feb 25 at 2020 10:22 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 22:22:23 -0500

If this is your biggest problem, you have a charmed life.

Response by Maj John Bell made Feb 25 at 2020 11:19 PM

Maj John Bell — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 23:19:17 -0500

I think you are taking too much of the world on your shoulders.

Response by MSgt Michael Smith made Feb 26 at 2020 8:58 AM

MSgt Michael Smith — Wed, 26 Feb 2020 08:58:56 -0500

I think you should seek counselling from the VA or Military One-Source. What you describe in your post is very characteristic of PTSD. Good Luck.

Response by 1st Lt Padre Dave Poedel made Feb 26 at 2020 11:26 PM

1st Lt Padre Dave Poedel — Wed, 26 Feb 2020 23:26:56 -0500

Lurch, it sounds like you have some issue with guilt. I am not here to analyze you or try to diagnose, but you are alive, you are a contributor to our country and society. You served with honor, you should be proud of that.

Where do you get your spiritual comfort? For me, the love and mercy that God shows me through the death and resurrection of Jesus puts my life into perspective. I share that only to be transparant about where I get comfort, and I do recommend you check it out. I’d be happy to communicate privately if you life, but I pray you will at least check out what I am saying.

Thank you for your service, Lurch, you have made America a beter place, just like your brother and sister service members and veterans. God bless you!

Response by PO3 Daniel Lukensow made Feb 27 at 2020 11:32 AM

PO3 Daniel Lukensow — Thu, 27 Feb 2020 11:32:24 -0500

I don't agree. Sure, alot of the remarks seem repetitive but it is better than having people say fuck you like they did to us in the sixties.

Response by SPC Richard Zacke made Feb 29 at 2020 11:38 PM

SPC Richard Zacke — Sat, 29 Feb 2020 23:38:38 -0500

PFC James (LURCH) Janota I'm confused about "others that need it more"? Did'nt we all raise our right hand and take an oath to defend this country with our very life's? All gave some, SOME GAVE ALL!!! God bless them for their sacrifice!

Response by CH (LTC) Robert Leroe made Mar 1 at 2020 9:22 PM

CH (LTC) Robert Leroe — Sun, 01 Mar 2020 21:22:08 -0500

I say "It was a blessing to serve."