How do you handle negative comments about the military?

SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 26 Aug 2016 21:27:36 -0400

Pretty straight forward question. I recently received feedback from a female that was at my house, she made comments about the American flag I hang in my room and uniform in my closet.... Let's just say it did not reflect nicely upon my views, so I proceeded to EVAC her from the premises. How do you handle said people?

Response by SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 26 at 2016 9:41 PM

SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 26 Aug 2016 21:41:16 -0400

I think a nice condescending "Thank you for the support" will shut them up and go about your day... But that's me

Response by CPL Anthony Slaughter made Aug 26 at 2016 9:43 PM

CPL Anthony Slaughter — Fri, 26 Aug 2016 21:43:06 -0400

I like the "get the hell out of my house, you commie" approach.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 26 at 2016 10:36 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 26 Aug 2016 22:36:59 -0400

So here is one for you. I'm at Ft. Devens in 08 for some training/reclass when me and three other soldiers decided to go grab a bite to eat. So, we (One black soldier, two white female soldiers and me) are out eating at Apple-bee's. While sitting down eating our food, we all hear from about 5 booths down. WHAT ARE THOSE WHITE GIRLS DOING EATING WITH THAT F****** WETBACK and N*****. I about lost my shit and came out of my booth. One of the females was a SGT and told me to sit down and we will get our food to go. I was so ready to go to jail and introduce him to his maker. It took everything I had not to go over there. Besides that one incident, I haven't encountered any negativity since I've been on Recruiting.

Response by SFC George Smith made Aug 26 at 2016 10:38 PM

SFC George Smith — Fri, 26 Aug 2016 22:38:54 -0400

not too well

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made Aug 26 at 2016 10:48 PM

PO1 William "Chip" Nagel — Fri, 26 Aug 2016 22:48:20 -0400

Never had any such experience. I am surprised. While I'm not a "Big" Flag Waver, I am not shy about who and what I am. My Quarters are thoroughly decorated with Military Memorabilia. Got the Flag on the House and Occasionally I put the Navy Flag out too. She Probably would have gotten an ear full from me also.

Response by CPT Jack Durish made Aug 26 at 2016 10:54 PM

CPT Jack Durish — Fri, 26 Aug 2016 22:54:47 -0400

How you handle someone in person is quite different from how you handle them in a discussion thread. I like to employ the same tactic that I taught my children in dealing with someone who says something offensive or hurtful to them. Tell them that what they have said is hurtful. For example, it's obvious from the uniform in your closet that you have served the nation that the flag represents and yet they say demeaning things about it. Obviously, they are attempting to hurt your feelings. Why would they do that? It's a wonderful way of putting them on the defensive without addressing their wrong headed opinions. Most people don't want to intentionally hurt the feelings of another. If they do, help them in the direction of the door with a swift kick in the pants. However, you'll likely have created cognitive dissonance in them (reality will be out of sync with their perceptions) and they'll be open to new ideas. On the other hand, if you invite them to explain why they would demean the flag, the uniform, or your service, you are opening the door to an exchange of opinions which they will not change regardless of what you do or say. Try my way. It really works.

Response by SSgt Jim Gilmore made Aug 26 at 2016 11:12 PM

SSgt Jim Gilmore — Fri, 26 Aug 2016 23:12:30 -0400

I would not walk into someone else's home and proceed to slam the way they decorate or act nor ridicule their beliefs. I would not tolerate such action in my home. They would have been removed from my premises without benefit of an open door or window.

Response by SrA Edward Vong made Aug 26 at 2016 11:19 PM

SrA Edward Vong — Fri, 26 Aug 2016 23:19:13 -0400

I've only had this problem once and I handled it well. I once went to a Pakistani store to purchase some spices for cooking. It was on my way home from work (base) so I stopped by in uniform. That day, another customer came to me and said "yo you a soldier right" I corrected him and told him I'm an Airman. Soldiers are in the army. He then goes "how do you feel about killing innocent muslims?" I told him that I'm Muslim too and we stop others who harm us. then he gets into the whole speach about hurting your own kind and I pretty much shut him up by saying if you were to attack me right now, I would retaliate and I would hope you did the same if I attacked you. I then said that not all our troops are good and not all Muslims are bad. Its just the bad ones that give all of us a bad name. We then proceeded with our shopping.

Response by Maj Kevin "Mac" McLaughlin made Aug 27 at 2016 12:58 AM

Maj Kevin "Mac" McLaughlin — Sat, 27 Aug 2016 00:58:09 -0400

In my home, they would be insulting me and my family. I would politely ask them to leave and recommend they go educate themselves.

Response by Maj John Bell made Aug 27 at 2016 3:56 AM

Maj John Bell — Sat, 27 Aug 2016 03:56:56 -0400

I ask the source for their opinions. Usually it is Hollywood, a former military malcontent, a political activists, or thin air. Then I try to get them to question the credibility of their source. If that doesn't work, I usually explain that I'm willing to lay down my life to protect their right to not understand me and my military service.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Aug 27 at 2016 7:38 AM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Sat, 27 Aug 2016 07:38:05 -0400

Generally ask if they served, if the answer is no, I just shake my head and walk away, because there's no fixing stupid.

Response by CPT Tom Monahan made Aug 27 at 2016 8:59 AM

CPT Tom Monahan — Sat, 27 Aug 2016 08:59:53 -0400

I ignore them.

Response by SSgt Luke Hunt made Aug 27 at 2016 9:37 AM

SSgt Luke Hunt — Sat, 27 Aug 2016 09:37:36 -0400

If it happens in my house I will tell them to step outside, I have something to show you, then close the door. If it happens in public, I will ask them how they are enjoying their freedoms which would not be available without the military.

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Aug 27 at 2016 10:35 AM

CAPT Kevin B. — Sat, 27 Aug 2016 10:35:53 -0400

Consider the source and tell them I'm sorry they had such a poor upbringing and hope that wisdom and maturity will arrive soonest.

Response by PO1 John Meyer, CPC made Aug 27 at 2016 10:38 AM

PO1 John Meyer, CPC — Sat, 27 Aug 2016 10:38:56 -0400

For me, the 1st Amendment is the 1st Amendment in my house or not. But just because they have the right to say something doesn't make what they say right.

In my house, I would have asked her to leave because if she doesn't like Old Glory or my uniform, then I'd inform her she doesn't like me and at that point, we're done.

Outside my house, I'd say thank you for your support and walk.

Response by SPC Erich Guenther made Aug 27 at 2016 3:20 PM

SPC Erich Guenther — Sat, 27 Aug 2016 15:20:38 -0400

Not so straight forward, you think it is because in your life experience you probably never asked why someone holds that opinion. That's the part your missing. I come from the Midwest and my Great Uncle was a POW in the Phillipines at Cabatuan #1 Prisoner of War Camp. A lot of those families in the Midwest believe General MacArthur abandoned his men and some families when I was growing up harbored some very Anti-Army feelings because of it. My Mother was one of them but she formed her opinion at age 7 or 8 when her Uncle was in her view taken from her by the Army, he came back from the war a hero but not willing to talk about the war and he never explained to his family or relatives much of went on, then died an early death because of torture and abuse in captivity. So the attitude in my Mothers case was formed when she was a kid she still talked respectively of the Army at times but was very negative towards Army Officers. Her attitudes were further reinforced during the Vietnam War when she saw many of her friends went off to war and never come back. I remember watching the news in 1975 on the Fall of Saigon and watching her break down and cry in front of her 8 kids while images of pushing helos off Aircraft Carriers and the Helo evacuation of the Embassy were shown. So psychologically I can understand why in some cases and respect the opinion even. Flip side of the coin is my Mother's opinion didn't really transfer to her kids that much because she would still repeat the stories of when the Army RANGERS rescued my great Uncle from the POW camp.....which to kids was kind of motivating and exciting at the same time. First my elder brother joined the Army as a Combat Engineer, then I did as a Infantryman, then my little Brother did as a Infantryman. My great uncles family.........all the men enlisted in the Army and served with the 82nd Airborne during Vietnam. So even though she carried the negative opnions most of her adult life.......they did not carry on beyond her much.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 27 at 2016 4:10 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 27 Aug 2016 16:10:46 -0400

i have never experienced this yet, so how i would handle it, mixed feelings i suppose, but i also have the freedom to walk away in public, in my own home turn the other cheek, you can stay if you want to but your opinions can go, then its up to that person to decide

Response by Sgt Christopher Wenzel made Aug 27 at 2016 7:01 PM

Sgt Christopher Wenzel — Sat, 27 Aug 2016 19:01:40 -0400

With a grain of salt. Everyone is entitled to their wrong opinion.

Response by SPC George Rudenko made Aug 27 at 2016 8:36 PM

SPC George Rudenko — Sat, 27 Aug 2016 20:36:57 -0400

Attempt to educate if practicable

Response by SGT Pete Masullo made Aug 27 at 2016 11:37 PM

SGT Pete Masullo — Sat, 27 Aug 2016 23:37:49 -0400

You know, there are many lofty statements about free speech, keeping your bearing, etc... I haven't run into much blatant negativity in person. With social media it is rampant. I guess if someone has the guts to speak their mind in the open and in person then I feel compelled to respect what they have to say and move on regardless of what I think. It's anonymous cowards that spew hate from the safety of cyberspace I refuse to give my attention.

Response by CW3 Kim B. made Aug 29 at 2016 1:12 PM

CW3 Kim B. — Mon, 29 Aug 2016 13:12:13 -0400

It wasnyour home and she should have respected it. Good call.

Response by CPO Randy Francis made Aug 29 at 2016 2:37 PM

CPO Randy Francis — Mon, 29 Aug 2016 14:37:56 -0400

So I'm sitting in a bar in Virginia Beach just prior to my last deployment, minding my own business. A few stools down from me are a young woman and I assume her date. He looked like he was a Marine - probably an E-1 or E-2. At some point he gets up to go to the head...er sorry Army, the latrine...er sorry Air Force, the rest room. While he's gone she saddles up next to me and starts up a conversation. A few words in she asks me what I do for a living and I tell her I'm in the Navy - now keep in mind she's on a date with a Marine and I'm old enough to be her father. Shortly after telling her I'm in the Navy she proceeds to tell me that anyone in the military is a piece of shit. She goes on to tell me that she's an "intellectual" which I assume is something her college professor told her to say or be. At that point I ask her if she knows anything about the U.S. military. She says "just what she's seen on TV". At point I ask her if she's aware that it was the US military that fought the British, twice, to giver her the right to say stupid shit. I then ask her if she's aware that it was the power of the US military that freed the slaves or the Filipino people after the Spanish-American War. I then ask her if she's aware that it was the US military that freed Europe twice from dictators including the Nazis and the Pacific from Japanese Imperialism. I ask her if she's aware that it was the US military who kept South Korea and Europe free from Communism and Kuwait free from Saddam Hussein. I then asked her my favorite question of all - "Do you speak Russian or Arabic?" To which she replied "No". I then said "You're welcome." At that point she was bawling at the bar and her date returned from the head ...er sorry Air Force, the powder room. He asked what was wrong and the bartender was laughing so hard he was crying and couldn't even talk as were most of the other patrons siting near the bar. I told the young man I was a Navy Chief and to take her home and find better company in the future. I paid my tab and left whistling "Anchors Aweigh".

Response by PO2 Kristy Williams made Aug 29 at 2016 7:59 PM

PO2 Kristy Williams — Mon, 29 Aug 2016 19:59:20 -0400

I think you did the right thing, clearly if she's not siding with our country and happy you served or do serve our country, she isn't the right girl for you.

Personally, I try not to listen to ignorant people say ignorant things. Clearly they have no idea what it's like to serve. Like many others on here I simply say thanks, give a sour faced nod and walk away.

Response by Sgt Dale Briggs made Aug 29 at 2016 8:43 PM

Sgt Dale Briggs — Mon, 29 Aug 2016 20:43:08 -0400

Same way. My house my rules, you don't show blatant disrespect like that, don't like it GTFO. Outside a simple FO is sufficient.

Response by Sgt David Hesser made Aug 29 at 2016 8:57 PM

Sgt David Hesser — Mon, 29 Aug 2016 20:57:03 -0400

I can tell you how not to handle it, we got a lot of that in the early 70,s in Calif, we where told not to where our uniforms in public. In Oceanside I was asked how it felt to be a baby killer (common phrase back then) I turned around with a evil look in my eyes and asked him if he thought killing one more person would bother me then he abruptly left. Told Top the next day what happened and got my ass chewed out.

Response by SPC Shane Bonds made Aug 29 at 2016 11:23 PM

SPC Shane Bonds — Mon, 29 Aug 2016 23:23:41 -0400

I was at the MEP station in Portland, Oregon 1990 ready to get shipped to Ft. Benning. A protester got in my face called me a baby killer then spat on me. I head butted him in the face breaking his nose. The police officers took him in custody saying they saw what happened and asked if I wanted to press charges for him assaulting me. I said hell yeah.

Response by SPC Shane Bonds made Aug 31 at 2016 4:53 AM

SPC Shane Bonds — Wed, 31 Aug 2016 04:53:57 -0400