How do you deal with feelings of it all ending?

PO3 Aaron Hassay — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 20:30:51 -0500

Is this a sense of inability to control your own destiny tied to some military experiences? Is this a sense of hopelessness? Is this a sense of years you can not get back before you got VA support and understood what you tried to forget? Is this the fact that you are just lucky and not really in control of much? Is the fact that you really do not want to act too aggressive strong courageous because you want to be extremely aggressive immensely powerful and it will alarm people?

Response by SSG Carlos Madden made Feb 28 at 2018 8:42 PM

SSG Carlos Madden — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 20:42:34 -0500

I'd say the first thing do deal with these feelings is to reach out and talk to someone. There are so many resources out there and a person on the other end willing to listen.
https://www.rallypoint.com/resources/essential-support

RallyPoint - The Military Network

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 28 at 2018 8:53 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 20:53:53 -0500

Get help, there are plenty out there.

Response by Capt Brandon Charters made Feb 28 at 2018 8:54 PM

Capt Brandon Charters — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 20:54:21 -0500

There are so many of us that feel this way at times. Any time I feel negative emotions come over me, I look to my faith, family, friends and those with similar experiences who understand. SSG Carlos Madden brought up some great resources. Please do check those out. You can also chat with me if you ever need someone to listen.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 28 at 2018 10:34 PM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 22:34:13 -0500

PO3 Aaron Hassay In your previous posts, you have been provided with resources that you can contact to get the help that you need. Have you done so, and what was the result? Why are you so concise on Facebook asking for help, but you come on RallyPoint, and you have problems putting sentences together?

Response by Maj John Bell made Feb 28 at 2018 10:46 PM

Maj John Bell — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 22:46:05 -0500

I lost my son. It was difficult to deal with, and caused me to question a great many things. I became aware that I was feeling "off kilter" and purposeless.

The first step was deciding that I didn't like being off kilter. Then a very wise man told, "when you don't feel like you can help yourself, ask yourself if you can help someone else." It seemed like one of those stupid old trite sayings. Then while I was at the grocery store, I saw a little old lady who was so frail and weak that I couldn't believe she was on her own. All I did was get her groceries from the shopping cart into her car. For a few minutes, I felt better. But is was the first few minutes in months.

If you want to help yourself, don't. Help someone else. Help someone who can do nothing more for you than say "thank you." I guarantee you, every day, someone out there, someone needs your help, and if you aren't there to give that help, no one else will be there either.

Response by PO2 Rev. Frederick C. Mullis, AFI, CFM made Mar 1 at 2018 8:39 AM

PO2 Rev. Frederick C. Mullis, AFI, CFM — Thu, 01 Mar 2018 08:39:37 -0500

Aaron, I have read all the interactions you have had with those who have replied to you. I would not waste any more time with MD's or any body trying to play doctor at Sick Bay, You need to get over to the Chaplain's office and talk to someone over there and open up about your inner feelings. Working with them, they will be able to get you on a mainline to the proper Psychiatric assistance that you need if they cannot give you the help themselves. You would be surprised how much power a Chaplain has. Please do not hesitate Contact tem today!

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2018 11:46 AM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 01 Mar 2018 11:46:06 -0500

PO3 Aaron Hassay The most important thing to remember is: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Many before you have felt the same things and many after you will feel the same way. The military can be an addicting environment because it is a place that (mostly) is sacred to all that have been a part of it. There are things I love about the military. Such as the camaraderie and the knowledge that you are one piece that makes up a whole. The conversations, the jokes, the people you come to care about that become more than coworkers but almost like a family. That we may fight and squabble about petty things but all of that would be forgotten in a moment for a mission or an incident, we all become one. It is fluid and quite amazing to watch, hard to explain but easy to feel. When you suddenly find yourself on the outside of this, after living within this environment (whether it be four years to 20 – or more) it can feel quite lonely. At these times, we have places to feel that camaraderie again. Places like Rallypoint, veteran organizations and programs that you can join or volunteer at. Just please always remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Response by PO2 Katie Benson made Mar 1 at 2018 1:04 PM

PO2 Katie Benson — Thu, 01 Mar 2018 13:04:35 -0500

With hope that it will (very depressed) I’m not helpful

Response by SGT Joseph Gunderson made Mar 1 at 2018 1:57 PM

SGT Joseph Gunderson — Thu, 01 Mar 2018 13:57:45 -0500

I latch on to something. Anything that I can use as even a small reason to stick around. Whether that be trying to prove someone wrong or do something that I think I have to. My daughter was always an easy thing to look at to tell myself that I have to push through. Sometimes I would think about people saying how I couldn't do something after being a Soldier, like finish school. Sometimes I just wanted to prove myself wrong. If I felt it all getting that dark I would basically get into an argument with myself and feel the need to have to show myself that I was an idiot. Anything. When it gets that bad and you can hold onto the little things eventually there will start to be big things to hold onto. After a while, there is everything to hold onto. I was homeless, an alcoholic, on drugs, and suicidal only a matter of a year ago. Today, I am halfway through my BA, I have a relationship with my daughter again, I quit drinking and drugs, and I am probably the happiest that I have been since leaving the army, probably that I've been ever. It is a process and it won't be the same timeline for everyone, but I promise that it works.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2018 2:09 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 01 Mar 2018 14:09:00 -0500

As a Christian I focus on God and His plan, not mine. He's the only one that can satisfy the void. Don't get me wrong, I'm happily married with 3 great children. But from time to time they let me down and/or I let them down. Jesus Christ is the only One that doesn't. He's the light. When times get dark, I go to the light.

Response by 1SG Dave Carello made Mar 1 at 2018 3:42 PM

1SG Dave Carello — Thu, 01 Mar 2018 15:42:49 -0500

Aaron. You are one of a million or more of us Veterans. You are never alone. Even if it's Joining an American Legion, VFW, AMVETS or what have you, it helps to talk to older veterans and those of your generation. We've walked that trail. Another great resource is Vet Centers that are almost everywhere and are a great personal help. Remember, you are a Vet for Life. Stand Tall.

Response by SPC David Willis made Mar 1 at 2018 5:03 PM

SPC David Willis — Thu, 01 Mar 2018 17:03:15 -0500

Talk to family, friends, loved ones, strangers or anyone who will listen. I've known 4 or 5 guys who have decided to take their own life and not once did it improve anything in anyone's life. I know that's easy to say because I'm not the one struggling at the moment but someday I might and its so important to focus on what that decision could do those around you. Our chaplain took his life and less than a year later his assistant took his life as well. It can actually be a domino effect, not only that but you're giving up what should be the best years of life ahead of you.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Mar 1 at 2018 6:20 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Thu, 01 Mar 2018 18:20:40 -0500

Don't focus on regrets. It is not worth it.