How can I move to Germany with my active duty husband if i’m in the National Guard?

PV2 Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 31 Jul 2021 12:12:50 -0400

My fiance and I are currently both at AIT (42A) and both are set to graduate Sep 17. We’re planning on getting married right after we graduate, I’m national guard and he’s active duty. He just received his orders for Smith Barracks, Germany. Would it be possible for me to switch components from National Guard to Army Reserve so i could be considered his dependent and be able to move with him? How long would this process take, and could I do it now during AIT or would i have to wait until after we graduate? I believe his orders say he has to report to his station by October 25.

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Jul 31 at 2021 12:28 PM

CSM Darieus ZaGara — Sat, 31 Jul 2021 12:28:16 -0400

You guys have placed yourselves in a very challenging position. It is not the norm to change components after signing a contract. Also as you are still single no one can begin to process anything remotely related to the options you have until you are actually married. In the meantime he will continue overseas.

You need to reach out to the NG and see what your options are as far as transferring, along with the Reserves as they have to find a position for you to drill against, or provide you a waiver of sorts for the period of the assignment.

Again you have placed yourself in this predicament. You will need to be patient yet agreasive in finding out what options you actually do have by speaking to the components yourself.

It will take sone time, if it is possible.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 31 at 2021 1:11 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 31 Jul 2021 13:11:22 -0400

A Soldier in the Guard I knew had a wife in the Air Force who was being stationed in Germany. He requested a hardship discharge due to a desire to travel with his wife. It went from his HHC commander, through BN, BDE, the LCC (1 Star), and finally to the TAG (2 Star) before being approved and he was given an honorable discharge.

Fortunately or unfortunately, however you look at it. They ended up divorcing and she ended up with someone else in Germany before they even planned the flight as I understand it. Military story as old as time. Now he's planning on studying medicine and rejoining as an officer.

You could request that route and it might work out, but you need to get released from your TAG.

You could request to transfer to the Reserves, but you still need to be released from the Guard which again goes through to your TAG, but there's no guarantee that if that works out that they'll put you on orders in Germany rather than keeping you CONUS to fulfill your obligations.

Alternatively you can request split drills and fly to Germany and back, but that would get expensive quick. Though I have known some guys who have done something similar.

All of this is moot though as you're not married yet. I would reach out to your National Guard liaison at whatever AIT fort you're at and lay it down for them. Maybe there is an option, but you've got a lot of maybe's and unknowns ahead of you.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 31 at 2021 6:37 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 31 Jul 2021 18:37:39 -0400

Ahhh the challenges of AIT marriages... The best choice is to just not get married. You've know each other a few short weeks, AIT marriages usually don't work out.

You are a civilian, except for your drills and two weeks of AT. You don't have to be in the Reserves to be his dependent, you will be his dependent once you are married. You aren't married so you are an acquired dependent. Your future husband must apply for command sponsorship for you once he is in Germany. Once that is approved, you two will be responsible for the cost of moving you to Germany, along with any of your stuff. Because you are an acquired dependent, you will not be authorized to PCS on the Army's dime.

My best advice is don't do it. Wait to get married.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 31 at 2021 7:35 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 31 Jul 2021 19:35:13 -0400

My wife is active duty Air Force stationed in Germany, and I'm Army National Guard out of Illinois. There are a lot of options for continuing to serve in a reserve component depending on how empathetic and understanding your chain of command is.

1. Get on Tour of Duty and find a title 10 ADOS job in Germany. Your TAG can release you to serve on ADOS orders for 1-3 years over here.
2. Request to go to IRR or ING.
3. Start the conditional release paperwork for the National Guard and start talking to a Reserve recruiter about positions in the 7th MSC.
4. Work with your chain of command to create an alternative drilling schedule. For example, some commanders might allow you to drill quarterly or less. You can fly as a Space R passenger from Ramstein back to the states without any out of pocket expense on a military flight, but you would then be responsible for the expense of making it to your armory once in the States. https://www.facebook.com/Ramstein-Passenger-Terminal [login to see] 17453 This Facebook page posts the 72-hour flight schedule. Some NG units are allowed IDT travel reimbursement of up to $500 per drill.

It's a lot for a PV2 to figure out on their own. I've been at this for the last 4 years, so let me know if you have questions. Good luck!

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Response by SGM Jeff Mccloud made Aug 1 at 2021 2:57 PM

SGM Jeff Mccloud — Sun, 01 Aug 2021 14:57:54 -0400

I just realized after reading this a second time, that this class started up 2 weeks ago.
Even if you two first met on day 1 of BCT, that's still less than 3 months, during the most stressful period of your young life.
Most military marriages, like most American marriages, have about a 50% survival rate.
AIT marriages probably have about a 15% survival rate.
Some just end poorly in a rented single-wide trailer with no money for rent and car repairs, fighting over who spent more on booze, smokes and tattoos, but too many of them end with the AD spouse going somewhere and collecting BAH, with the non-AD spouse spending the first year not getting a dime of BAH, and the next 2 years trying to figure out how to get that arrears money and how to serve divorce papers cross-country or overseas, with no contact info on the chain of command.

Graduate AIT, and give it 6 months.
Then, if you are both still serious about marriage, you will at least be in a better position to figure out command sponsorship, how to pay for that move (or whether you'll just move later to his follow-on CONUS assignment on the Army PCS dime), and everything else.

Response by SSgt Christophe Murphy made Aug 1 at 2021 9:34 PM

SSgt Christophe Murphy — Sun, 01 Aug 2021 21:34:20 -0400

I highly recommend you take your time and think about all of the details before jumping into marriage. I dated my wife a year before proposing and we didn't get married for an additional 7 months after the proposal. This is all while transitioning from OCONUS to CONUS and lateral moving to a new MOS and attending MOS school. Time will either strengthen your relationship or give you time to see the cracks in the foundation. I understand how extreme some of the responses on here may seem to your question but majority of the people responding are current/retired SNCO's and Officers that have seen this soap story unfold in countless situations at countless duty stations. They are negative because they have had to wade through the aftermath and debris when their troops had to deal with marriages that weren't meant to be. Some of them are probably statistics themselves and learned the hardway.

So in addition to this being a quick relationship with little face time between the two of you there are also the additional hurdles to consider. You weren't married before he received orders so that means he is on individual orders. For the Army to formally accept you and make everything official he would need to get Command Sponsorship. This is a bigger deal because he is going OCONUS and means you would need to jump through alot more legal hurdles in comparison to how easy it would be for you to just show up in North Carolina. He can request sponsorship once he gets there but it will take time. Once all of that is sorted you can figure out the rest with the logistics and what you want to do with your current commitments to the Guard.

All of this is possible and there is a process to it but that's after you get married and as I mentioned before you shouldn't rush into marriage. Good Luck