How can I get my stepdaughter's father, who has abandoned her, off of her birth certificate?

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 29 Jan 2021 18:31:02 -0500

On orders to PCS overseas, but cannot add my step child to my orders because her biological father who has never been in her life is on her bc.... Any help would be appreciated?

Response by SFC Kelly Fuerhoff made Jan 29 at 2021 6:36 PM

SFC Kelly Fuerhoff — Fri, 29 Jan 2021 18:36:46 -0500

That's not up to you to handle. Legally, as a stepparent, you can do nothing.

You cannot remove a parent from a birth certificate. If you are willing, you can file to adopt the child but that still would require contacting the birth father to agree with it.

Your spouse needs to talk to a lawyer about this.

Some lawyers do free consultations (about 30 min). I'd start looking for those adoption attorneys who do free consultations.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2021 7:09 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 29 Jan 2021 19:09:52 -0500

Check the divorce papers. If she has full custody then it won't be an issue. That's what we did. Worked out well. Other option is getting him to sign a notarized paper saying he is ok with it.

Response by SGT Robert Wager made Jan 29 at 2021 8:00 PM

SGT Robert Wager — Fri, 29 Jan 2021 20:00:28 -0500

You need to talk to a family law attorney. You can get a custody order in absentia, if the birth father refuses to participate or cannot be found. You can probably get it expedited if you are on orders depending on how friendly the courts where you live are to military families.

Response by Wayne Soares made Jan 29 at 2021 8:10 PM

Wayne Soares — Fri, 29 Jan 2021 20:10:21 -0500

Good luck Sgt. Bibbs

Response by MSgt Don VandeBogert made Jan 29 at 2021 8:17 PM

MSgt Don VandeBogert — Fri, 29 Jan 2021 20:17:06 -0500

Couple options...

1. If you can contact him, and he agrees, there is paperwork that can be done authorizing your step kids to accompany you. Had a SSgt in a similar situation to your description and the local MPF helped with what was required. Personnally, I had to have my kids egg donor allow me to take my kids to Germany for 4 years (she was in jail, I wasnt on the BC but had custody). Real PITA but doable.

2. Talk to a lawyer. After my overseas assignment I ended up married (not to the egg donar thankfully) and we were able to have her rights removed and go through an adoption process adding both me and my wife to their BC as well as a last name change. Cost us ~$3500 and was done in ~6 months in Oklahoma. Worth every penny.

Good luck.

V/R
Bogie

Response by MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P made Jan 30 at 2021 1:51 AM

MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P — Sat, 30 Jan 2021 01:51:51 -0500

1. I'm not aware of any provision that allows a biological parent to be removed from a birth certificate. There may be but someone smarter with legal matters than I will have to answer.

2. From personal experience, all you should need is a court order stating the mother has full residential custody and that she is allowed to establish the location of the residence WITHOUT geographic restriction. That's all we needed for me to put my (now ex-) step-son on my orders to England. If she doesn't have a custody agreement, she needs to obtain one ASAP to head off future difficulties. Your civilian attorney should be able to get one moving pretty quick assuming the sperm donor doesn't object to anything. Odds are, if he was stupid enough to walk away from his child, he'll be stupid enough to sign any agreement that doesn't cost him money.

3. Worst case, if the sperm donor is agreeable, have him sign a notarized form stating he has no objections to moving the child out of the local area. Your attorney should have the required form or can generate one for you. Base legal might even have a form that will be acceptable (never hurts to check with them).