Has anyone else had trouble fitting in at the VFW?

2016-01-28T22:49:27-05:00

Its not that I have a problem with them or them I, as we talk and joked but more of an age and experience difference. I know a lot of them love telling old stories but I wanted something closer to what I had in the service. That "family" of my brothers and sister standing next to me.

Response by COL Charles Williams made Jan 28 at 2016 11:21 PM

2016-01-28T23:21:27-05:00

Yes... In my area, as I have stated in response to other questions... the vast majority of the VFW, Legion etc are Vietnam/Vietnam era Vets, who do not seem to care about veterans who came after. SGT Ronald Bacon As a matter of fact, then seem to resent us even being around, as if we are trying to infringe on their domain. I spent 33 years in the Army, and over 3 years in combat... and I am considered, or at least feel, not worthy...

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2016 12:24 AM

2016-01-29T00:24:24-05:00

I joined as a member at large because a VFW VSO helped me with my Agent Orange claim. I have not been to a VFW Post, and I do not know if I will ever go.

Response by PO1 John Miller made Jan 29 at 2016 12:44 AM

2016-01-29T00:44:36-05:00

I participate in SOME VFW events, but only because of my being a member of Combat Vets Motorcycle Association (CVMA). One of my brothers is a Post Commander so we work pretty closely together. Even though I'm a Lifetime member I only ever go to a post for a CVMA event or an event we're invited to.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jan 29 at 2016 8:51 AM

2016-01-29T08:51:57-05:00

We are the NGOBs: New Guys On the Block.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2016 9:43 AM

2016-01-29T09:43:40-05:00

I feel as you do, that somehow I am an interloper in other peoples' clubhouse. They are friendly, and are fine with taking your dues. Not so fine if you have any bright ideas with how things should be. Undoubtedly it was the same for the Vietnam vets when they ran into the Korean War and WWII veterans. Someday, it'll be us that are the curmudgeons.

Response by CPT Gary Jugenheimer made Jan 29 at 2016 11:42 AM

2016-01-29T11:42:28-05:00

I'm a Vietnam Vet and have trouble meeting and greeting....these guys have been around for quite some time and believe this or not, I think they have the "combat fear of relationship syndrome" that causes one to not get to close to an FNG for fear that if you did, and the guy is killed it would work on your mental state.....what needs to happen is that you have to get more of your buds involved in the VFW and then you will have a nucleus of friends to relate to....get into the leadership positions and this will help to tell your story....this was the same crap that happened when the Legions and VFW's were filled with WWII vets and the Vietnam Vets had to assimilate....stick around and eventually it will become fun....great to see you join as it seems that the younger generations are not that interested in "clubs"

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jan 29 at 2016 12:07 PM

2016-01-29T12:07:21-05:00

I went to therapy with older vets. I got the impression some of them did not want me there. I was change to them, and outsider, someone who interloped in their worlds.

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made Jan 29 at 2016 1:06 PM

2016-01-29T13:06:07-05:00

Very Valid Point. In my old post they were Vietnam, Korean and WWII Vets not much shared in common as far as age and culturally. I also think it takes some time after a War before these people look for the Social Connection of the VFW. Keep Plugging and hopefully we will attract some more younger folks.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2016 2:40 PM

2016-01-29T14:40:07-05:00

I was a member and let it expire because of reason similar to yours. I went to a few meetings and hung out with them a few times but I never felt like I was a "member". I felt more like a number.

When I did hang out, the few times I did, some old timer would grab me and ask what I was drinking order me a drink and then proceed to tell me the military these days is full of a bunch of "female anatomy" and why it was so much better/harder/suckier in his day. His military, no matter what branch, was the hardest and most BA.

That is just not an environment I enjoy. I may try it again in a few years and see if the crowd has trended younger or at least more hospitable.

Response by SSG Mark McMurray made Feb 23 at 2016 10:16 PM

2016-02-23T22:16:22-05:00

I've been a member for almost 2 years. I'm 36 and the youngest member there. I've been the post Commander for almost a year. I feel awkward sometimes ,but I learn from their wisdom.

Response by SGT James Hammons made Aug 17 at 2016 11:21 AM

2016-08-17T11:21:57-04:00

There is a generation gap and it has happened before, just get involved and go to the meetings. Use you ideas. They are stuck in their ways but we need to make a change for the better.

Response by SFC J Fullerton made Aug 17 at 2016 11:47 AM

2016-08-17T11:47:14-04:00

I "buzzed in" to the VFW bar once with the intentions of signing up to be a member. Got hassled by the old lady bartender because I wasn't a member or with a member to sign me in. Told her of my intentions of becoming a member and she took it as sarcasm and a few of the old dudes at the bar made some rude comments so I just walked out and that was it.