Funny Forced March (Hump) Stories!

2015-02-06T02:01:07-05:00

While preparing for a hump during my time in the grunts, I had a Lance Corporal that did not like water, I do not know how he made it through boot camp. Anyway we are headed on a 20 + mile hump near Camp Margarita on Camp Pendleton on a hot summer day. We are told to hydrate copiously and make sure all possible canteens are full before we step off, we are humping crew served weapons too, so we knew its gonna be a rough one.

We get on the road and not even two miles in, my Lance Cooley is not looking good, he is hurtin for certain and I tell him to drink some water, he gives me this look like I am crazy and tells me he drank both his canteens already, so being his NCO I give him one of mine, not 5 minutes later he asked for my second one, so now I am pissed but concerned at the same time. So reluctantly I agree and I give him my second canteen. This is when I realize he is not doing good, I can see that he is not faking but did not want to skyline him either, we had a howling mad Company Gy that could spit nails. Another five minutes go by and we are humping at a quick pace, damn 6'5 Colonel busting our butts right. I move along aside of him to motivate and tell him we are getting ready for our first stop, which was a lie because we were not stopping anytime soon. When all the sudden he goes down like Frazier in stride, he took a step but went straight on his side, he did not put his hand down to break the fall, so I knew he was a legit heat casualty.

I yell Corpsman up!!! I could see the Corpsman running over but then I see our Company Gy.......... Gunny Ojala... he comes running up screaming at this Devil Dog, I even took a little fire for not squaring him away. The Corpsman starts to loosen his clothing and Gy Ojala yells "Lets see if this Boot is faking, get the Silver Bullet" if you dont know what the Silver Bullet is, its the rectal thermometer. They dropped this kids drawers and greased him with the silver bullet, Gy Ojala is standing over this Devil Dog, until that point the Lance Cpl was mumbling and incoherent, all of the sudden when the Silver Bullet was applied he looked up at the Gy and Said "Mama".............................. ooooohhhhh you should have seen the Gy's face, you would have thought he punch him in the jaw! A couple of seconds later he realizes how funny the whole moment was and says "In 20 years of service not one Marine has ever called me Mama" It was absolutely the funniest thing I have ever seen and will live in my memory forever.

BTW the Marines was dehydrated and heat casualty, got a ride in the Humvee, but he never got to live down the Silver Bullet.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2015 3:09 AM

2015-02-06T03:09:19-05:00

That is a serious hatred of water to end up going thru all of that

Response by COL Jean (John) F. B. made Feb 6 at 2015 6:58 AM

2015-02-06T06:58:31-05:00

Back when I was a company commander in 1975 or so, we were on a 25 mile march and had stopped to take a short break. One of the Platoon Sergeants (E-7) was complaining about the march and the pace, when his Platoon Leader, a brand new 2LT (O-1) started telling the PSG how it was "just a walk in the park", or words to that effect. The grizzled old PSG listened for a couple of minutes and stated, for all to hear, "Wait 'til you grow up and have to do this crap, LT. Then we'll see what you say."

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Feb 6 at 2015 7:12 AM

2015-02-06T07:12:09-05:00

So. I was on my second deployment about the USS Essex (15th MEU). We had been at sea a long time. BLT Commander got what I can only describe as cabin fever.

So.... AT SEA, on an LHD, we went on a 12 mile ruck march. We circled the ship, like some bizarre Rube Goldberg machine for about 4 hours.

I just felt sorry for the guys we had on the two smaller boats. They didn't even have the option to to go up and down the ramps. Just circled the Helo pads.....

Response by LCDR Jamie Galus made Feb 6 at 2015 8:14 PM

2015-02-06T20:14:31-05:00

On one of my last humps with the Lava Dogs of 1st Battalion, 3rd Marines in Hawaii we had just stood up from our last stop prior to heading home, when some genius decides to yell,"GAS...GAS...GAS". Most of us began to clear and don our gas masks, when I noticed that some around me were having to assemble their masks on the spot. So while helping my buddies out, I saw a few that didn't have anything in their mask carriers to include a few Marines that had a couple of rockers on their collars. But the real kicker was the knucklehead who was shaking gee dunk out of his carrier while our 1stSgt provided encouragement.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 25 at 2017 1:22 PM

2017-03-25T13:22:32-04:00

5th bn 10 marines, got a call medic up, my buddy and I ran to the scene, one of our companies went for a little run it was already black flag conditions, found marine on floor unconscious, hot, no sweat, we put him in the shower to cool him off, when we did the silver bullet, all hell broke loose, my buddy got bit in the shoulder so hard he had teeth imprints, my southern region got kicked so hard thought I would never have kids, but as it turned out this sm was heat stroke and spent a week or so in the hospital, we both got meritorious masted for our efforts

Response by SFC John Martin made Dec 29 at 2019 6:40 PM

2019-12-29T18:40:38-05:00

Doing a Combat Fitness Test in Germany: I was under weight and needed to add it urgently: I remembers an empty
Two litre bottle of Bacardi I had in my room. I quickly filled it, 5lb over so it put it in my Burgan and off we went: At a halfway stop we were ordered to take on water: Well, why not:.... should have see. Their faces when they saw what I was drinking from...