For those who go to therapy: Did it work for you?

2015-05-26T18:21:37-04:00

I tried to see a therapist at the VA a few years ago and I hated it. I couldn't open up if i wanted to. How do you talk to a person who has no idea what Combat Veterans go through? I know the value of talking about your issues but I just don't know how to with a civilian therapist. Let's not make this just about me, lets open a discussion for the Pros/Cons of therapy. I sure will listen to everyone's advice here on this subject. What do you all think about it?

Response by SSG Kevin McCulley made May 26 at 2015 6:21 PM

2015-05-26T18:21:36-04:00

Nope.. I've been in therapy since 2007. I have been in a WTB for a year with intense therapy. Its gotten worse. I'm now retired and don't have a very bright outlook for the future.

Response by Capt Richard I P. made May 26 at 2015 6:28 PM

2015-05-26T18:28:32-04:00

It did for me. I think it depends on two things, just like Physical Therapy: 1. The quality of the therapist. 2. What you put into it. There may need to be a lot of explaining in both directions of how things work. I was lucky to get one that was very helpful.

Response by SPC Charles Brown made May 26 at 2015 6:29 PM

2015-05-26T18:29:27-04:00

Not yet, but I am still going.

Response by PO3 David Fries made May 26 at 2015 6:42 PM

2015-05-26T18:42:58-04:00

I went when I was a teenager. I learned almost too quickly how to make her believe that I was just fine.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made May 26 at 2015 6:50 PM

2015-05-26T18:50:07-04:00

Not really. I had to make a mental map to help me. Ernest Hemingway said if you are broken you have to see the light. You have to see some light, a little progress to build upon.

Response by Sgt Jay Jones made May 26 at 2015 6:59 PM

2015-05-26T18:59:37-04:00

TSgt Hunter Logan, I found the Mental Health Department with the Veterans Administration very helpful in dealing with my issues of depression and anxiety. Initially I was taking individual counseling. This help stop my downward cycle because I had someone that would listen to me and not pass judgement on me. Then my wife and I received couple counseling. This helped us to better understand what was going on with me and why all of sudden I was depressed and had so much anxiety. It turned out to be medically induced by Parkinson's and Dementia. Of course both of these are directly related to my Agent Orange exposure when I was in Vietnam. Finally, I started participating in Group Counseling. I honestly believe this is where my breakthrough came from. For the first time, I realized that I WAS NOT ALONE, in dealing with these issues. Many of us who chose to serve in the military have "Alpha" personalities and it is extremely challenging to admit you are having a problem when you are use to taking the lead and providing for your family and others who can't take care of themselves.

So, in answer to your original question. YES! VA therapy helped me tremendously.

Response by CPT Bruce Rodgers made May 26 at 2015 7:04 PM

2015-05-26T19:04:46-04:00

I provide care on a pro bono case by case basis, therapy is not a one size fits all approach. I only work with people that I can help and try not to waste anyone's time

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made May 26 at 2015 7:07 PM

2015-05-26T19:07:53-04:00

Remember a few things about mental health therapy
1. You are there to gain SELF insight guided by a mental health professional
2. It doesnt matter if you like them, they are not your friend
3. It does not matter if they like you, they are not your friend. They should have professional empathy but their job is not to be warm and fuzzy but... see #1
4. Understand a good counselor helps you find the answers within yourself.
5. This takes time. There is no pill nor magic involved.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made May 26 at 2015 7:14 PM

2015-05-26T19:14:26-04:00

It definitely depends a lot on the therapist. I'm a combat veteran, and I'm also going to school to get my degree in Psychology before moving on to getting my degree in Clinical Mental Health. While the therapist you were seeing may not understand what you specifically went through, they do understand PTSD, and have some effective methods for dealing with it (those methods vary depending on what type of psychologist you are seeing...for instance, I'm a cognitive-behavioralist. You'll also find Psychoanalysts, Cognitive Psych, Behavioralist (CB is a hybrid of the two...more or less)). But, as Capt Richard I P. stated, it's very much like Physical Therapy. You have to do your part, just as the therapist has to do theirs. You have to be open and honest about what you are experiencing, or they will have no idea of how to treat you. They won't know if counselling alone will be enough, or if you need to be on some meds (i.e. to help with sleeping problems), and so on. It's very much a two way street, Sergeant.

If the one on one approach doesn't work for you, please, consider looking into group counselling. The VA should have such a program, but, even if they don't, you can usually find one that consists of other combat veterans in your area. Some guys go through every individual approach under the sun and nothing really works. Then they go to a few group sessions and BAM! Improvement. We Vets tend to have that effect on each other, namely because we can talk to each other. I hope this helps. I hope you'll not give up on therapy all together, just go with a different approach.

Response by MAJ Keira Brennan made May 26 at 2015 7:15 PM

2015-05-26T19:15:09-04:00

SFC James. I am not a clinician but I do work in the mental health field as an addiction technician. I think that any competent clinician can help combat veterans sort through things and help develop a path of healing. Thinking that a clinician can't be helpful because 'they weren't in combat' SOUNDS like it makes sense but actuality it doesn't. Its like my clients telling me because I never did meth or heroin that 'I can't understand...' Pain and trauma, both physical (IED, TIC, Mortars) and emotional/psychological are all very deep wounds that are REAL and processed in the brain. There are some very dedicated people out there who can help. Clinicians such as those that work with severe victims of abuse/rape, trauma survivors of all kinds, and those of us who saw combat. I'd suggest someone who is integrated into the biological(med), psychological, and social model (healthy living). Best of luck for all seeking to heal.
And for P01 Hooks who said "They who have never been in a combat zone..." Last time I checked my DD214 I had a Bronze Star and two campaign medals.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made May 26 at 2015 7:15 PM

2015-05-26T19:15:28-04:00

I'm not a combat vet. But have had tried counseling a few times. The first time, was right after my second son died of spina bifida, and I was a mess. People were telling me to go talk to someone, but really I wanted to be a mess. I wanted to be angry and I didn't want to talk to anyone. The second time I tried I was halfing it with the VA. I knew I needed help but was skeptical because like you, how was anyone except those who walked in my shoes understand!? It wasn't until Christmas 2013, that I realized I was at a point in my life where I needed help and if I walked into the VA I was going to give therapy a real try- I do the stupid breathing and sensory grounding junk... Some work, most don't. Now there are days I think it's a waste of time. And I am upfront with my therapist on those days. I don't talk about my triggers all the time. (Hardly ever) we are still working on those. But it takes a while to build that trust with even a therapist to open up that much with. I have been seeing mine twice a month for 18 months. And I'm still not there. But hopefully sooner than later. Cause it sucks

Response by SFC Mark Merino made May 26 at 2015 7:17 PM

2015-05-26T19:17:32-04:00

Great question and valid points SFC Joseph James. This is what is so FRUSTRATING with me not being able to land a job counseling veterans and service members. Not to pat myself on the back, but been there done that. When I was is the hospital and 18.5 years of service was circling the toilet I BEGGED to talk to someone I could trust and who had been in my shoes. There was no one. I spent years going to school from a hospital bed, typing with one or two fingers from whatever hand was able to work to finish my degree because I didn't want anyone else to feel as powerless as I did. I've gone through the bureaucratic wringer from start to finish, lost the career, home, marriage, chronic pain, 4 month PTSD residential program, divorce, VA disability appeals, borderline homelessness, poverty, alcoholism, jail (DUI). I am not running for Mr Morality, or the Presidency, or Husband of the Year, but I can reachthose who have chronic trust issues with therapists. In Alaska, I worked in the Army's PTSD clinic and talk about a true calling. It was the best job and the perfect fit. After 4 months, I had to return to the lower 48 for divorce proceedings that lasted more than 3 years. I was given glowing recommendations and even offered my job back with DA, but couldn't leave my children behind. All I hear from USAjobs is not qualified. 500 applicationsand counting. I'm coming unglued, hence my RallyPoint overuse. I digress.
As far as counseling goes, it is never one size fits all. After listing my laundry list of unscrupulous deeds and history, can you imagine an ivy leaguer wanting to be anywhere near me when his marriage falls apart, lost millions in the stock market and his mistress left him? Even service members with combat related PTS need to feel comfortable with their counselor and I could be the worst thing for them. Some need one on one, some work better in groups, some obsess about religious affiliation, some want to only work with civilians and don't trust any green suiters. It is a lot like used car shopping. It's rare to find your dream car by going to the first lot you come across when you are dead set on the car you are looking for. I'm not Dr Philand only have a masters. I just want to ease the minds of those who are facing as much uncertainty as I did and assure them that it isn't the end of the world. For those unhappy with their current therapy, please try someone else instead of assuming that everyone has the same approaches and experiences. We we it to ourselves to be happy. That takes patience. Sometimes lots of patience.

Response by SGT James Elphick made May 26 at 2015 7:33 PM

2015-05-26T19:33:32-04:00

I have with mixed results. It was nice just to talk to someone sometimes but that isn't the same has someone who has an understanding of what you are going through. That being said, the VA has special clinics just for this. They are called Vet Centers and the clinical staff are all combat veterans and ONLY combat veterans can receive services there. That is where I had the most luck because as an Airborne Infantryman I was lucky enough to be paired up with a veteran of the 173rd from Vietnam, so we had an understanding of each other from the get go.

On a side note, if you are going to school find the local Vet Center and inquire about a work-study program, nearly all of them have one and it is a fantastic way to make some extra money while on the GI Bill.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made May 26 at 2015 7:38 PM

2015-05-26T19:38:09-04:00

SFC Joseph James This is an age-old issue. I've sent veterans to the VA's Vet Center for assessment and found out the veteran was put into a group session. Good news: the group was combat vets ONLY - no wing wipers from Minot, Too-damned-cold Dakota complaining that his former C.O. had abused him by making him complete the job before he went back to the barracks.

Suggestion: complain to the patient advocate for the hospital the doctor was assigned to. Insist the doctor has no clue and is incapable of understanding or beginning to help you.

Response by SGT Richard H. made May 26 at 2015 7:42 PM

2015-05-26T19:42:42-04:00

SFC Joseph James I've actually never had therapy, but my wife is a counselor so I've had occasional chances to learn a bit about what they do. If you haven't ever seen the movie "Good Will Hunting" it's a good watch, and even though it's just a movie, it shows an interesting side of this kind of thing....Watch it, and watch the progression of the main character and how the therapy starts and what it becomes.

Response by LCDR Rabbah Rona Matlow made May 26 at 2015 7:51 PM

2015-05-26T19:51:48-04:00

Getting a therapist that works for you is always trial and error. You have no way of knowing how you'll connect until you start working together.

If you are looking for a therapist with military experience, you might find one at the VA, but there are also other organizations that offer counseling services.

I offer services, free of charge, through "The Soldiers' Project; Washington".

I am not a combat vet, but I am a 100% service connected vet. If you'd like, feel free to contact me off line, and we can talk...

Response by SSG Roger Ayscue made May 26 at 2015 7:50 PM

2015-05-26T19:50:25-04:00

Brother, it is Great that you are reaching out on here. I would suggest that maybe you ask at the local VFW or American Legion to your home to see if there is a support group formed or forming in your area. More and more we are seeing Vets/Reservists/Soldiers/Retirees that are NOT counselors, NOT shrinks and NOT pushing head meds, forming support groups at the grass roots level.

Most guys I have talked to just need someone to listen, and to remind them that they did their duty and are now home. Reaching out to your Brothers and Sisters is the right ting to do, because they understand and don't judge.

I wish you the best brother. By the way, where do you live?

Response by PO1 Kerry French made May 26 at 2015 8:40 PM

2015-05-26T20:40:21-04:00

I will not go... after my daughter died, all they wanted to do was medicate me. Screw that! I was in normal grief... if they didn't like it - tough.

I refuse to go to these liberal non veteran counselors who have been indoctrinated into the cultural Marxist world... who do not know what being in the military is about or who hate America and think we are just bloodthirsty baby killers.

I feel they just want to label us all so that they can "legitimately" take our rights from us.

Response by MAJ Matthew Arnold made May 26 at 2015 8:50 PM

2015-05-26T20:50:38-04:00

(Disclaimer: no combat time.) During and after divorce, counseling helped me get back to wings level, on course, at altitude. Beyond that counseling didn't help much. Maybe that's all it is suppose to do, get you to where you can fly the rest of the route on your own.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made May 26 at 2015 8:57 PM

2015-05-26T20:57:58-04:00

Worked for me - saved my life.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made May 26 at 2015 9:04 PM

2015-05-26T21:04:06-04:00

It might sound silly but get some paper and draw/doodle while you talk, or talk at them. It does not really matter if they understand. The idea is to talk, the brain likes to pack everything away until it can process it later. The therapist may not know exactly what you go through but they see enough to help unpack.

Response by CPO Private RallyPoint Member made May 26 at 2015 9:08 PM

2015-05-26T21:08:13-04:00

There's a reason 90% of the drug counselors out there are recovering drug addicts... It's because they can understand you and your problem. A therapist that read about your problems from a book can't possibly be as effective as someone who has been through what you have been through. As a cop anytime we deal with something real shitty (death of a kid or sexual assault of a kid) we talk about it with each other. I don't even think of it as theraputic but I guess it is... Find people with similar experiences that you can chat with, guys that can relate. Be sure that they don't drag you don't. Be sure they are somewhat positive and upbeat (as much as they can be).. You will probably get more from a relationship like that than some therapist. I would possibly supplement with the therapist but don't solely count on them because you say you have a hard time with their advice being they can't relate to you experiences... Best of luck!

Response by SSG (ret) William Martin made May 26 at 2015 9:18 PM

2015-05-26T21:18:31-04:00

I have seen various therapists through the years. I can't get on a personal level with them.

Response by LCpl Rustin Poorboy made May 26 at 2015 9:19 PM

2015-05-26T21:19:41-04:00

You may have to shop around to find the right therapist for you kinda like choosing a friend you have to be able to click.find one who has combat experience they are out there I went to college at OSU to become a psychologist but family and bills side tracked me.

Response by SGM Gregory Hoppe made May 26 at 2015 9:25 PM

2015-05-26T21:25:44-04:00

I don't think it's the civilian therapist that has not seen any combat action should be suspect in helping us out. After 44 months in Vietnam, I left in January 1970. When I left I managed to take all my little memories of that wonderful country and stick them all into a can. I then took that can and I buried it as far and as deep as possible in my memory. In the last few years. Some of those memories of managed squirm out of the can and affect me. Enough background, through my eyes shall show you what I see during my therapy session at the VA. Mind you, I'm only in the my third week of the 12 week informational session, which tells us what to expect during the actual therapy portion. My take on it is that although these civilians do not have combat experience, they have the training inability to bring these experiences out of us and allow us to talk about them. In our 10 man group. I am the cherry. As I look at each of the guys that are in this therapy session. I see people from my generation ( Vietnam) who like myself are just beginning to try and deal with the issues. To the modern day veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan who appear to be trying to deal with their can of worms. I look at the civilian is just a guide to keep us on track and I think the responsibility will actually fall upon us as individuals interact with each other and trying show how the deal with this issue. Like I said, this is just my initial take on it. I suppose I have more to say about it as a finish the primer course and then get into the tactical portion of it which are instructor indicates will be really intense. As I go through it. I'll add more to this particular thread. I hope others out there see this thread is a useful thread and go forward and get enrolled in this opportunity through the VA. I hope everybody understands that these dumb ass civilians, with no combat experience, are not going to cure us, but have years of training and in some cases years of experience in helping people like us get over our demons. I've always thought that the cure has been inside us and we just need a way or to be shown how to achieve that cure. Till we meet again, be safe, keep your ammunition dry, and move silently.

Response by CH (CPT) Heather Davis made May 26 at 2015 10:05 PM

2015-05-26T22:05:26-04:00

To be a hospital chaplain I had to volunteer for a year long intern ship and it included cognitive behavior therapy it was in a group of six. I will share with you it was the hardest thing I ever did.

I did not know at the time I had childhood PTSD and I was very resistant, I did not see the results until three years later. I am now on my way working on my Ph.D. In Advance Studies in Behavior.

I did not realize that I was stuck in episodic memory, and I had to not just tell my story, I had to be heard, I had to grieve, and I had to let go of the un-resolved pain, guilt, and shame.

I was able to integrate Genograms that showed a generational pattern of every generation in my family serving in war. This created a generational cycle of childhood PTSD, and emotional numbing, and repressed memories that created disassociation.

I look back and I had reactionary behavior and did not understand how triggers and counter transference had me unknowingly living the past.

Response by SPC Christian Ziegler made May 26 at 2015 10:07 PM

2015-05-26T22:07:14-04:00

Well to be honest I go to a Vet Center and see a counselor there, most of them are Veterans (they prefer to hire Veterans) its mostly for combat Vet's so they tend to be pretty good. I go to the group there too and its all combat veterans talking about how to deal with things in there life. At first I just sat back and listened and it was like they where talking about me, after a few meetings a said stuff, now I pick up little bits here and there on how to live my life with PTSD. What's even better I don't have to talk to civilians, only veterans and after 10 years I can honestly say I count some of them among my friends, I don't have many but I do have some. Scouts Out

Response by SFC Willis Bullard made May 26 at 2015 10:54 PM

2015-05-26T22:54:56-04:00

I had my moment (singular) with therapy and you are right... They really couldn't relate although the young professional did give me great advice... Keep a journal. I have been doing that since I retired in 1998. I came back in in 2003 and then in 2009 a friend saw my journal and talked me into publishing my journal. I touched it up and today I have many published works on Amazon. AND... It has been very therapeutic.

Response by CPL Aaron Cottingham made May 27 at 2015 4:29 AM

2015-05-27T04:29:49-04:00

No, I just don't think it is.

Response by CPL Aaron Cottingham made May 27 at 2015 4:32 AM

2015-05-27T04:32:10-04:00

How do you explain loneliness and despair, if you don't honestly think the other person cares what you are saying?

Response by CPL Hayward Johnson made May 27 at 2015 4:42 AM

2015-05-27T04:42:48-04:00

Hey SFC Joseph James I can tell you from my experience that it took me a while to actually open up. And by while i mean this paat year. I believe what really did it for me was calling the crisis hotline because it's always available and i can speak freely without the physical expressions of someone who may or may not get it.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made May 27 at 2015 8:02 AM

2015-05-27T08:02:05-04:00

I have seen therapist since I left the Army it is very hard to find a person you are comfortable with, however if you are persistent and ask to be referred to someone whom you'll feel comfortable it will be easier.

Response by TSgt Gwen Walcott made May 27 at 2015 9:21 AM

2015-05-27T09:21:06-04:00

THE key to a good therapist is being able to find one that has has the same experiences.
How you get/find them, is another issue altogether;
but it has been considered. (My son has taken up study to become a therapist, specializing in PTSD after he retires from the Cavalry. He was a member of the Baghdad invasion team, BTW. He understands the need for good therapists)

Response by PFC Michelena Halley made May 27 at 2015 9:58 AM

2015-05-27T09:58:07-04:00

I'm a 68x or a behavioral health technician. I recommend you try another therapist. It can be hard to find one you like and can trust enough to open up to but when you do it can help wonders. A lot of them around post's are also retired from one branch or another

Response by CPT Jack Durish made May 27 at 2015 3:22 PM

2015-05-27T15:22:05-04:00

How do you define "work"? Do you mean "How do you rate success in counselling?" What is "success"?

I've been there once and have no idea as to whether or not is "worked" or I had "success" because I had no idea of what success was supposed to look like. It would have helped had we (the counselor and I) defined the goal so that we would recognize it when we got there.

I suppose that most would think that those in counselling are attempting to become "normal". The problem is that "normal" is an obscure target and it moves around a lot. Also, it's entirely different for everyone. My "normal" scares the hell out of most people.

So, after reading all the responses to your question, if you decide to go that route, start with a contract with your counselor. Make sure it includes some definable objectives so you will know if you're wasting your time and money or not.

Best of luck

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made May 27 at 2015 4:55 PM

2015-05-27T16:55:40-04:00

Depends on the therapist and how comfortable you are with them. I have been in therapy for a few years now for different reasons. Until recently I have felt it was a waste of my time but continued to go anyway. The difference between then and now; I changed therapists, again. The one I am currently with is great. I am comfortable talking with him, and after just a few visits am already feeling improvement. Everyone is different, and finding a therapist that works for you could take going through a few that don't work for you first. This does not make one better than the other, just the way it is.

Response by MAJ Keira Brennan made May 27 at 2015 4:58 PM

2015-05-27T16:58:57-04:00

I would like to share that YES counseling has helped me immeasurably with my own trauma, PTSD and generalized anxiety. I shared below that I work in the mental health domain as a family educator. I recently spent eight months working with clients in recovery at a residential facility. "What does that have to do with trauma/ptsd you might ask? Those of us who've deployed, etc (me KFOR2B and OEF6/7) are often told -- or see ourselves how much we've changed. That change is very real. It effects people differently, but there is still psychological, emotional, and physical changes. I am glad this topic popped up. I recently took a class on trauma and there is a lot of (longitudinal) evidence to suggest that many traumatized people "self-sooth"/"self medicate" because of trauma (I've been guilty of that). And its not just those of us who survived war/deployments, etc. It is a fact and happens to people traumatized "on the street" (old Army saying). Now, I am not implying anything towards anyone in this discussion. I myself am thankful that my local VA Vet Center and to the folks at VAMC Denver for helping me turn a corner. I hope that the same services are being offered on AD across the services.

Response by SFC Bryan Reed made May 28 at 2015 2:06 AM

2015-05-28T02:06:28-04:00

I have a hard time talking to anybody who hasn't been in combat, civilian or military. How do you describe the feelings of being shot at, survivors remorse, guilt, etc that goes along with combat? It is one thing to read about it, study it, and "know" about it. It's completely different to live with it every day. It's the difference between someone describing the color blue and seeing the sky on a sunny day.

Then there is the constant alertness left over. I know the is no need to sit facing a door, or to scan while walking between classes or studying in the library, but know and doing are two different things. My last counselor, AD AF said "No one is out to get you, get past it." He thinks that helps? Get real. Best counselors I've ever found are at my local VFW.

Response by Amn Fred Petersen made May 28 at 2015 2:05 AM

2015-05-28T02:05:45-04:00

With all respect I've been going to a PTSD group run by Nam veterans you find people you are comfortable with and stick with it

Response by SGT Lawrence Corser made May 28 at 2015 9:29 AM

2015-05-28T09:29:14-04:00

No, but it could have just been the two therapists one a civilian one the VA,

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 28 at 2015 1:07 PM

2015-05-28T13:07:18-04:00

I haven't read all of the comments on this posted question but i can comment on ABH.... Unfortunately the clinic on ft Campbell is a joke. I dont want to be negative to all counseling but this particular office is a detrimental blow to my confidence in therapy. Listening to a counselor discredit other counselors ( an ASAP counselor that i believe in) for 20 minutes of a 50 minute session was a complete waste...not to mention the other time was spent trying to convince me i am a victimof ptsd (which i am not) and then that issues were merly a situational event that has no ties or bearing of anything else.... After being talked AT for almost an hour i was told i have a volatile personality. ...

I truly hope that post-service counseling is effective for those that seek it.

Response by SGT Kristin Wiley made May 28 at 2015 1:36 PM

2015-05-28T13:36:18-04:00

I think you approached therapy with the wrong mentality. I don't know if therapy actually works, but I do know it's time set aside to focus on you. Therapy is about YOU, not about how you relate to your therapist. Your therapist is just there to guide you towards your goals.

Response by CPT Kurk Harris made May 28 at 2015 1:45 PM

2015-05-28T13:45:43-04:00

I am a former 11C, now Army ER Nurse, and married to a retired Army Social Work Officer who has multiple combat deployments with an Infantry Brigade. She is an example of the type of therapist you might expect to see in the Army. I understand your sense that no therapist could ever possibly understand what you've been through. I think you sell them short. That being said, I can also speak to you question about does it help. The answer is yes if you are willing to work. PTSD Is specifically very treatable, but you have to want to get better. I would recommend self referral to Behavioral Health and voice your concerns about wanting someone with deployment experience. Keep an open mind and you have a good shot at feeling better soon.

Response by 1LT Jonathan Cowan made May 28 at 2015 2:34 PM

2015-05-28T14:34:33-04:00

good and bad... In service going through a divorce I ended up having a side relationship with my therapist... not good LOL after service I have found little to no help with it, it was a waste of time for me and all he did was project his opinion on me without letting me speak. Like an automated PTSD machine...ugh

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made May 28 at 2015 4:41 PM

2015-05-28T16:41:42-04:00

Hell yes. Went kicking and screaming the first time early 80s. Both wife and I thought a good idea late 80s. I initiated early 90s. All that had to do with marriage, infertility, then adoption. Then the military dragon bit hard. Took 12 years to admit I needed help, 2 to work it, and another 3 to finally melt down in tears to tell my wife about it. Everything is a journey. Good counsellors can help ease the way down the road to recovery. Some are better than others but it has much more to do with you accepting you're an imperfect human like everyone else and you have far more control over how you feel about yourself than you would admit. One counsellor was good about getting me to focus on what the universe was trying to teach me. There's probably some out there that this notion might resonate with. I'm stronger and in a better place now but know dragons never die so keep working on cage maintenance. Still refuse to touch an AK so know the dragon is still out there.

Response by SPC Ei McS made May 28 at 2015 7:12 PM

2015-05-28T19:12:58-04:00

It's a pitty (for the lack of a better word) that you felt uncomfortable or not understood with that therapist. I've studied some psychology. The way I understand it, is that if someone feels uncomfortable with a therapist, they should change therapists. Is that an option for you? Can you do that at the VA? I haven't had too much with the VA so I don't know. It is wrong to assume that any one therapist will do! That can not be expected to work for every person. In addition, I believe I understand what you mean when you say that you felt very uncomfortable having a therapist who doesn't understand what Combat Veterans are going through. Part of the therapeutic process is to have someone who hears you and understands you! Part of the therapeutic process is not only talking about one's struggles and issues, it's a good rapport and a certain connection to the other person. Were you able to get another therapist?

Response by SPC Ei McS made May 28 at 2015 7:25 PM

2015-05-28T19:25:31-04:00

I am convinced that not every therapist is fitting to just any and all patients! No matter how many patients the therapist has helped, no matter how many degrees, certificates, awards and what not the therapist may or may not have! It is the right of the patient to not feel comfortable and seek another therapist. Seeking another therapist does not discredit the therapist or the patient. First and foremost it is the patient that counts and who has to be taken serious! Not the therapist!

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made May 28 at 2015 7:38 PM

2015-05-28T19:38:53-04:00

I do not talk about my combat experience, for me it is not useful, productive or beneficial but as for therapy, my therapy is paid for by the Department of Defense.
1. Support groups ie talking it through with others, it helps but it was like just wars stories.
2. My last therapist I had help from allowed me to free wheel and run thoughts out as they came, and he kept up. Other, most therapist try to keep you on a track... It is much more cathartic to unload.
Group AND individual therapy helps...my experiences with carnage goes back to my 2nd year of service, others times later, so its good to unload all even if it has been 28 years 20 years or 7 years.

Response by PO3 Michael James made May 28 at 2015 7:58 PM

2015-05-28T19:58:32-04:00

Sometimes just reading responses to discussions here, on "Rally Point", can be therapeutic and/or helpful advice to follow..

Response by CW2 Martin Brannan made May 28 at 2015 8:10 PM

2015-05-28T20:10:18-04:00

In my experience, therapy conducted by any qualified professional does no harm and when you do find the right clinician it can be a great benefit. If you want to be assisted by someone with your experiences, however, you'll have to assist yourself. We are all different and we all experience things, even the same things differently. Closing yourself off to help from someone because they aren't enough like you will severely limit your ability to objectively analyze your situation and determine the best course of action forward. If the only advice you can accept is that coming for someone just like you, I submit you really want to be in an echo chamber looking for affirmation and aren't all that interested in help.

I would also point out that explaining something to someone who doesn't know what you are explaining serves to educate both the speaker and the listener about the subject. Your counselor will never heal you. If he or she is good, however, your counselor will lead you to heal yourself.

Response by COL Charles Williams made May 29 at 2015 12:36 AM

2015-05-29T00:36:37-04:00

Yes

Response by TSgt Mike Scalf made May 29 at 2015 9:32 AM

2015-05-29T09:32:33-04:00

I have the same exact problem. I have a shrink that is new to dealing with the military mind and keeps trying me to go to DBT

Response by SFC Kenneth Hunnell made May 29 at 2015 11:48 AM

2015-05-29T11:48:47-04:00

You already started with the process, you made yourself available to other veterans that may be able to relate to your situation

Response by CPO Sam Gilliland made May 29 at 2015 3:09 PM

2015-05-29T15:09:24-04:00

that pic looks like Dr. hemjanoski from Deployment health at NAS Jacksonville, FL. I worked with her for years! In my educated opinion she is one of the TOP PTSD psychologist in the country! I've seen her change many lives for the better.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2015 8:07 PM

2015-05-29T20:07:20-04:00

Do you have access to a psych who's in the military? I worked with the ship's psych on my last carrier and it was awesome. The guy was FMF and saw combat. Made a huge difference. If you can find such a person, go for it.

Response by SGT Anthony Bussing made May 29 at 2015 8:20 PM

2015-05-29T20:20:48-04:00

having been a line medic....getting shot at, surviving IED's, Suicide bombers in a market where you are treating locals...your best friend getting killed the night you werent able to talk to him on the sat phone...yeah...I have a few issues....went to the VA for about three years...then got divorced and moved...not close to a VA now...not sure if tricare covers counseling or not...

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made May 29 at 2015 9:11 PM

2015-05-29T21:11:49-04:00

Therapy gave me down time, and what I needed was the ability to see the lights through the cracks. And then I could rationalize and make myself better.

Response by CPT Ahmed Faried made May 30 at 2015 1:40 AM

2015-05-30T01:40:32-04:00

My therapy is a long distance run, or a cigar. Sometimes both. It works marvelously.

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made May 30 at 2015 2:25 PM

2015-05-30T14:25:21-04:00

I think the VA should make an effort to get veterans to talk to veterans, but its the VA so we all know how that will work out.

I've lost faith in the VA but I know that its not the case for everyone. My grandfather was an Army vet from WW2 and not only did they make him jump through hoops to get any of his benefits, but at his funeral they replaced the color guard with a Air Force JROTC from a local high school group that was disgustingly sloppy and seemed to care less about what they were there for. I suppose it was nice that they tried to hook up my family with a color guard at all, but it was hard for my not to cringe.

I hope that the VA will see the overhaul they so desperately need, and make it the organization veterans deserve.

Response by Sgt Sherry Taylor-Bruce made May 31 at 2015 3:52 PM

2015-05-31T15:52:06-04:00

I need to let evevryone here know that there is no shame in seeking help in whatever way it's needed. I was not a combat veteran but I had a traumatic experience when my husband died suddenly the morning after I had Breast Cancer surgery. The 911 operator tried to guide me through CPR with no success.

Nobody questioned my having surgery or doing radiation treatment. So why question is mental health therapy? I started going to the VA for therapy as well as medical and I thank God they are there for me! I tell everyone they are helping me and hope to volunteer with the VA sometime soon. I love to talk to other Vets about everything. The older guys help me put things into perspective. It helps them have someone to talk to.

Response by CPO Joseph Grant made Jun 3 at 2015 10:00 AM

2015-06-03T10:00:57-04:00

Biggest problem I had was that my condition (PTSD) comes from an incident that won't be declassified until I've been dead and gone for quite some time.

No point in counseling when you cannot talk about your experiences.

Response by CDR Michael Goldschmidt made Jun 3 at 2015 4:02 PM

2015-06-03T16:02:48-04:00

Joseph,
When I got out of the Navy the first time, I was a LT (O-3) and when I went to grad school to become a counselor, nobody was talking about PTSD. One of my professors was a WWII vet, who flew Corsairs in the Pacific with the Marines, and saw several of his roommates die, helpless to do anything about it. My best friend died on active duty. Non-vets don't seem to understand. They can't. Combat-related PTSD is different than ANY other kind of PTSD out there. The first thing you have to understand is that the changes you feel are PHYSICAL. Bad things happened to your body over there, which feel like they happened to your mind. It's actually normal, even healthy in a way, for what we went through.

There ARE groups out there that can help you. One of our RallyPoint brothers, LTC Jason Strickland , may be able to help you with resources. There's also an excellent retreat in Vermont (http://www.warriorconnection.org), which helped me.

It's important that you spend time with veterans. As for therapy, the reason that I didn't pursue a counseling career is that I'm not convinced it helps. Others may have different experiences. Regardless, having a Veteran counselor, not just a veteran's counselor, could be a good choice. You may not be able to get one through the VA, though.
Have you considered the Wounded Warrior Project?

Good luck, Shipmate, and don't give up. We all need to be here for each other. We're still a team, even though you don't see each other everyday, anymore.

Mike

The Warrior Connection - Retreats for Veterans with PTSDThe Warrior Connection

Are you or a loved one a veteran suffering from Post-traumatic stress disorder? Learn more about Veterans with PTSD and join our retreats that reconnect veterans with their families and communities.

Response by Sgt Sherry Taylor-Bruce made Jun 11 at 2015 9:36 PM

2015-06-11T21:36:15-04:00

When I went to the doctors for my surgeries I didn't expect them to have had Cancer or a Cataract themselves. I expected them to have gone to school and have completed a residency program treating patients.

It would be nice if they had your same experiences but they really just need to know how to help you get better. I needed medication AND talk therapy.

The Therapist is not your friend but they are there for you. Getting better requires work from both of you. It will take time but it is worth the work. Things will never be the same as before but you can find your " new normal"

Response by Sgt Daniel Albrecht made Jun 11 at 2015 9:43 PM

2015-06-11T21:43:36-04:00

Nope they do not even remember who I am so I stopped going.

Response by SPC Anibal Colon made Jun 12 at 2015 12:45 AM

2015-06-12T00:45:10-04:00

Response by PO1 John Miller made Jun 12 at 2015 3:35 AM

2015-06-12T03:35:13-04:00

I'm not sure if this fits in here, but my wife and I have tried Marriage and Couples Therapy before. My wife continued seeing both counselors whereas I quit marriage after 2 or 3 sessions and couples after 1 session.

The reason being is that both counselors agreed with my wife that I was the one acting like an unreasonable ass and were very quick to shoot down all of my contributions to the conversation(s) and reduced my behavior as being my fault.

My wife and I are still married, but I'm honestly not sure for how much longer. I try to see things her way, but in my opinion she refuses to try and see where I'm coming from. Or she will say she acknowledges my side but refuses to accept any responsibility for my behavior.

I really want my marriage to work as I love my wife, but if we can't have effective two-way communication (and not just me agreeing with her that I'm a complete ass), I don't know if it can.