Posted on Jul 2, 2020
DUAL MILITARY) Should I get married now and wait to ship out. Or should I ship out and marry in December..?
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Hi my name is Asia. I just finished highschool and am set to ship out July 13th. My fiancé is a year older than me and left for BCT last year in August. We got engaged last December planning a wedding in April because was going to get 2 weeks off after AIT, before his first duty station. Then COVID happened.. He didn’t end up getting to his first duty station until this June. After I graduated HS, I flew to Colorado where he’s stationed so we could get out marriage done and papers ready so my orders will be linked with his. We’ve been having many issues with getting married because I am 17. The law changed recently not allowing just notarized parental consent to grant an underage marriage, they require a court order that won’t be granted until late July . I don’t know what to do.
My recruiter suggests to get married during winter break .. but I don’t know if he’s just saying that so I don’t try to renegotiate my contract. I’m also scared of loosing my job (15E) and it being able to get it back, which he says will be very very unlikely that I’ll be able to get that same job. I need another opinion . My fiancé wants me to stay and wait. And my Recruiter suggests I go and marry in December. I’m lost and panicking as the days get closer .
My recruiter suggests to get married during winter break .. but I don’t know if he’s just saying that so I don’t try to renegotiate my contract. I’m also scared of loosing my job (15E) and it being able to get it back, which he says will be very very unlikely that I’ll be able to get that same job. I need another opinion . My fiancé wants me to stay and wait. And my Recruiter suggests I go and marry in December. I’m lost and panicking as the days get closer .
Marriage
Dual Military
Fort Carson
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 10
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Focus on your career. If you and your significant other are meant to be he and you can wait a little longer to make it official. Being dual military you’re going to be apart more than just this one time so it would be a good run to see if your relationship can handle the separation (I’m not saying it can’t and won’t, but I’ve seen how things change with time/distance/life).
Focus on you. Take your spot. Do your BCT and AIT and then go from there. Nothing in life is more expensive than regret.
Focus on you. Take your spot. Do your BCT and AIT and then go from there. Nothing in life is more expensive than regret.
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Wait! Do not get married until you have both been at your duty stations for at least year. If your relationship can survive distance then think about it next year. I’ve seen so many people get married straight out of basic only to get divorced 6 months later and still have to see their ex for the next 3 years.
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My wife and I were dual military before I retired. If you want the MOS KEEP THE SPOT, and if he is the guy you are supposed to be married to he will be fine with waiting.
Here is a very very important thing I will say that is just the Dad and the Platoon Sergeant in me saying...Be very careful when you see each other if you have not finished your training, both basic and AIT. Basic and AIT is not the best place to be if you are Pregnant. SO....I would say wait until you FINISH your training to get married. Just a thought, because if you have a kid before you do and are put out, they will not likely let you enlist with an active duty spouse and a child. The Army doesn't like separating kids and both parents. If you have completed Training and are at your first duty station the rules are not as tight
Here is a very very important thing I will say that is just the Dad and the Platoon Sergeant in me saying...Be very careful when you see each other if you have not finished your training, both basic and AIT. Basic and AIT is not the best place to be if you are Pregnant. SO....I would say wait until you FINISH your training to get married. Just a thought, because if you have a kid before you do and are put out, they will not likely let you enlist with an active duty spouse and a child. The Army doesn't like separating kids and both parents. If you have completed Training and are at your first duty station the rules are not as tight
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