Does anyone know what type of leave/pass I could get IOT take care of my wife (and our 3 year old) while she recovers from being a surrogate?

2019-04-08T11:34:20-04:00

My wife is a surrogate for another family and delivered last night. I've been under the impression that I would be getting convolescant leave but it sounds like I won't. Does anyone know what type of leave/pass I could get IOT take care of her/our 3 year old while she recovers?

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Apr 8 at 2019 2:41 PM

2019-04-08T14:41:01-04:00

Isn't it a little bit late in the game to be trying to figure this out?

I know nothing about your unit or what their policies are, but convalescent leave sounds radically inappropriate for the situation - you are not convalescing. Additionally, pass seems inappropriate (IMO). Not knowing anything else, I would say that regular, plain ol' everyday ordinary leave is the ticket here.

While I commend your wife's willingness to be a surrogate, the fact is that this was an entirely optional undertaking. There was absolutely no requirement for her to serve as a surrogate, and the Army should be under no obligation to accommodate it. (Willingness to accommodate is another story - and I think most units are willing.) Additionally, this labor and recovery period was predictable and any proper planning would have included child care for your 3-year-old as well as an estimate for normal recovery. Regular leave should have been submitted months ago, with the dates left blank, and a leave plan should have been in place at the unit for execution upon your wife's going in to labor.

At this point, put in for ordinary leave under emergency conditions (different from emergency leave), due to the expedited requirement for approval. Hopefully your CoC already knew this was coming down the pike and is willing to work with you.

Response by MSgt Michael Smith made Apr 9 at 2019 12:46 PM

2019-04-09T12:46:29-04:00

Why should taxpayers pay for YOU to take care of your wife who is recovering from a surrogate pregnancy? She did it for someone else, let that person or couple take care of her. You need to do your job and stop whining about time off. I seriously doubt that your wife needs your care at home. Get a sitter and do your duty. Actually I'm pissed that her hospital stay and birth was covered by Tricare at all. Shouldn't the couple she had the baby for pay for her medical care? I think so.