Do you have any tips for handling a tough conversation with a recruit who needs to leave a bad home environment?

2022-10-05T23:08:54-04:00

I am currently working as a recruiter for the Kentucky National Guard. One of the kids I have been working with, I have learned more about his current home situation and really feel that Active Duty is a better choice for him than the National Guard. He needs to leave home.

APPLEMD is clear and should be relatively easy in that regard. He will need some ASVAB help most likely to pass if a CAT IV waiver is not available. He got a 15 on a practice ASVAB that I gave him today.

I guess my question is really two, what's the best way to talk to navigate the conversation with the kid? And what's the best way to hand him off to an Activr Duty recruiter?

Response by SSG Roger Ayscue made Oct 6 at 2022 3:56 AM

2022-10-06T03:56:56-04:00

First, you as a recruiter can not help him with the ASVAB, aside from buying him the ASVAB study book and I would avoid doing that, it could be taken the wrong way and you helping an applicant on the ASVAB is a career ender. Second, you should develop a working relationship with the Active component recruiter, and just have a face to face with him over a cup of coffee.
I know that you want to do the right thing, but you have to look at this as well, with recruitment numbers what they are right now, your area commander might just apply his boot of learning to your seat of understanding, repeatedly if you hand a number to the Active Duty recruiter. It is the same BCT and AIT for the same MOS but he is more likely to get the waiver for the guard.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 6 at 2022 6:45 AM

2022-10-06T06:45:15-04:00

Sometimes, the best solution is to do nothing. What I mean is that if this kid gets in, goes to Basic and AIT, there's a chance that those times will open the eyes and create the drive to want to change to Active Duty. Do what you can (within legal means) to help the kid get in to the NG then just let the chips fall where they may. You're going to focus too much energy on this kid and possibly screw yourself out of other #s

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Oct 6 at 2022 7:10 AM

2022-10-06T07:10:39-04:00

I believe SFC Livingston stated the issues well. There are literally hundreds of thousands of Soldiers who have and continue to enter service from bad household situations. The system unintentional pathways, basic and AIT are eye openers for many. Provide guidance for as an prep and physical fitness. He found your office, he did not seek AD.

You care, that is great, stay within the bounds of your duties, you cannot let your heart take you down a path that could effect your career. It sounds hard, but it is what it is.

The path will show itself to him.

Response by SSgt Christophe Murphy made Oct 6 at 2022 8:17 AM

2022-10-06T08:17:07-04:00

You just need to sit down with the kid and talk to them. You could go as far as getting an AD recruiter involved for a meet and talk options. But you need to set healthy boundaries for yourself on this. You can help the kid pass the asvab and you can help them join the NG or assist in the transition to an AD recruiter and they get him in. But at some point you have to let go and let the young individual make their choices. There is an equal chance that putting on the uniform may help guide them to better choices but there is also equal chances that it won't fix his issues and he will get sucked into the drama of his bad home life.

I know plenty of success and sob stories of folks I served with who made it and others who didn't. It's a series of choices and they are his to make. All you can do is set the game board the best you can and let him take his best shot

Response by CPT Lawrence Cable made Oct 6 at 2022 8:26 AM

2022-10-06T08:26:20-04:00

15 on the ASVAB? I'm not sure that you are in the position to help him with that kind of a score. I think you are about to find out that there are a lot of things that just aren't under your control.
The first task is to see if you can get him past the ASVAB. If that isn't possible, you are out of luck anyway. Then ask him straight out if he is interested in going full time. There may be reasons that he isn't interested in Active Duty.
I commanded an Engineer Company in Eastern Kentucky, so I am aware of the challenges of finding qualified recruits.
I had a soldier go AWOL on me after we had just returned from an Augmentee mission at NTC. His platoon sergeant and squad leader went to find him and pick him up. Come to find out he was just a bit overwhelmed by the fact that his Mother and Step Father had moved while he was away, hadn't told him and left his cloths in boxes on the front porch. Now this soldier was approaching 30 and still living with mom and dad, so not much I could do on that side (nor did I want to intervene). We threw him some State Active duty stuff so he would have an income to get a place.

Response by GySgt Kenneth Pepper made Oct 6 at 2022 10:55 AM

2022-10-06T10:55:51-04:00

You are treading on thin ice. I understand your concerns for his well being, but you can only lead a horse to water. Asking the simple question "Why do you want to continue living here after going through initial training?" might spark his curiosity. That is as far as it should go.
I hate to sound cruel, but does the military need to fill its ranks with CAT IV soldiers? The Armed Forces is not a social program meant to give disadvantaged youths a hand up. We need smart, capable, trainable young men and women that require only a few months training to be combat ready.
I'm sure he is a great kid. Most of them are. But you need to think about your career as well.
Have you discussed this with your immediate supervisor or a seasoned recruiter who you trust?

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 6 at 2022 12:43 PM

2022-10-06T12:43:06-04:00

As a Reserve Company commander for 27 months time and time again I'd see young soldier come in with high expectations and feel the system shorted them big time.

I'd try and help the situation the best I could, but at the end of it I was just expended energy with little results.

We can't be everyone's hero.

Response by Lt Col Timothy Cassidy-Curtis made Oct 6 at 2022 7:00 PM

2022-10-06T19:00:38-04:00

Are there NG units that are deployed? Would it be possible to see if this recruit could be assigned to one of them (assuming that there are any)?

Also, I understand that the Army missed its recruiting goal. If this recruit can be seen as fit, he should be worth a considerable amount.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 6 at 2022 7:41 PM

2022-10-06T19:41:56-04:00

MSG Private RallyPoint Member makes a good point. If you do determine that they are eligiible for service and you absolutely believe that Active is a better long term fit then perhaps you should link up with an Active Recruiter to talk this over with before giving options to your potential Recruit.

The military can help some people get out of a bad mindset or out of bad home situations, and on the Guard/Reserve side of things I have seen troops suffer after returning home to an environment that doesn't support them.

This is not to say they won't succeed, but it is something they might have to endure. Also note that Active is not greener just because it's full time. Plenty on Active have a lot to gripe about with toxic and incompetent leadership to a name a few.

There are also full time Guard opportunities that your potential Recruit could possibly take advantage of but that's an unknown until they complete IET.

So you need to evaluate how much time this person is going to eat up and if they're worth your time or the Army's time. If they keep coming back for more then maybe you have your answer without having to do anything.

Like CSM Darieus ZaGara mentioned though, Recruiting is a tough and competitive field. No one's numbers are looking good for the past two years. You are speaking from a position of concern and care and that's good, we do need Recruiters doing that, but you also have numbers to make as messed up as that might sound. Whether Active or Guard, is this the kind of troop we want in, that's another important question but ultimately numbers are likely to win.

Lots of good info to consider on here, just make sure you're squared away if it all doesn't work out.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Oct 7 at 2022 2:42 AM

2022-10-07T02:42:02-04:00

This won’t amount to a hill of beans. I say military recruits are drawn to the military or want to escape there current lot in life. Most people will mature in the military and get rewarded for honorable service, but some recruits unfortunately will shoot them selves in the foot.