Did you go back home after serving? Was it the same?

CPT Jack Durish — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 11:58:34 -0400

http://townhall.com/columnists/humbertofontova/2016/06/04/baltimore-mayor-stephanie-rawlingsblake-visits-cuba-for-advice-on-economic-development-n2173126?utm_content=buffer136be&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Home wasn't really there any more when I returned from Vietnam. It was gone. A lost memory. Today, it seems even more distant, forgotten.

The Baltimore I left was a bedroom community tucked between the major metropolises of the East Coast. I well-remember the vendors with their pony carts wandering cobblestone streets hawking their wares. Gas street lamps and the lamplighter coming back each morning with his ladder to turn off the lights and clean those that needed it. I remember climbing from boat to boat as Eastern Shore fisherman sold produce from the Eastern Shore during months when crabbing an oystering were prohibited. I remember stores closing no later than 9 each night and closed all day on Sundays. I remember black and white communities coexisting peacefully (I envied the solidarity of their families inasmuch as mine was dysfunctional). I remember the Bay - That's the Chesapeake Bay, Land of Pleasant Living according to a local brewery advertisements, a protein factory according to H.L. Mencken, a world-famous journalist who made his home in my city.

It was all gone when I came home. Storefronts were shuttered and barred. The riots accompanying the Civil Rights movement had come and went. The black families were fractured by government meddling, welfare making dad's irrelevant and mom's encouraged with payments for children born without fathers. White families had fled.

I didn't hang around...

Humberto Fontova - Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake Visits Cuba for Advice on "Economic...

Remember how after Baltimore was half destroyed by rioters last summer Baltimore mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blakes made headlines by claiming she gave Baltimore rioters "Space to Destroy?"

Response by SSG Pete Fleming made Jun 5 at 2016 12:03 PM

SSG Pete Fleming — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 12:03:03 -0400

It is never the same. You have changes mentally/emotionally (regardless your experiences). You left three, 10, 20 years ago and then go back. Perhaps you visited but the changes never sink in. The community has moved forward, your friends have new friends and new interest. It is a culture shock for any Vet to return.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 5 at 2016 12:16 PM

Capt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 12:16:59 -0400

Back home? Where is that? I lived in PA for 17 years. As of now I have lived in 14 states plus Japan. My wife and I have been married 41+years and are in out 23rd address.

Where is this home you speak of?

Response by Maj John Bell made Jun 5 at 2016 12:33 PM

Maj John Bell — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 12:33:39 -0400

I grew up a Navy brat, but went through HS in Tucson. It didn't change much. But I did. I found that what I considered important my High School friends didn't, and vice versa. Knowing that, I felt no compulsion to return to stay. I don't think they missed me much.

Response by MCPO Roger Collins made Jun 5 at 2016 12:50 PM

MCPO Roger Collins — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 12:50:03 -0400

Thomas Wolfe, You Can't Go Home Again

Response by SPC Andrew Griffin made Jun 5 at 2016 1:40 PM

SPC Andrew Griffin — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 13:40:56 -0400

Yes! I went back home! It was the same! But I wasn't the same! Serving in the Military allowed me to grow! I had a different outlook on life! I wanted so much! But the City of Newark, NJ didn't meet my aspirations! Many of the residents haven't been outside of the city! They haven't experienced any other culture or traveled to any other Demographic! I'm not sure if home is really the same for any serviceman or woman who served for a length of time or especially on a deployment!

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 5 at 2016 1:59 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 13:59:58 -0400

I live where I was raised but would love to leave. Spokane use to be a real big little city. The hub of all the farming communities that surround it. I remember the big stock yard where local folks sold their horses and cattle. All the mom and pop stores and how laid back it all was. But that is all gone now with the influx of those running away from California. And now they turn this area into what they destroyed and left. The only thing that keeps me here is family. Other then that would love to move to Montana, Wyoming or Colorado.

Response by Cpl Jason Causby made Jun 5 at 2016 2:42 PM

Cpl Jason Causby — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 14:42:34 -0400

I went back home, but nothing is the same because you see it differently. My morals and values were greatly changed during my time in the Marine Corps and working in the private industry was even more challenging.

Response by Cpl Jason Causby made Jun 5 at 2016 2:46 PM

Cpl Jason Causby — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 14:46:05 -0400

Yes, I went back home but it wasn't the same. I looked at my environment differently due to my change in morals and values that were instilled in me during my time in the Marine Corps. Working in the civilian world was even more challenging.

Response by PO3 Frank Opalecky made Jun 5 at 2016 3:03 PM

PO3 Frank Opalecky — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 15:03:02 -0400

I did go home after service. It was the same as I left. However my expectations and perceptions had changed. I wanted more (at the time) than my rural town could offer, so I left again.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 5 at 2016 3:11 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 15:11:59 -0400

no it wasn't the same anger, depression, alcholhal, anxiety, everyone one saying thank you but all i wanted to say was fuck you

Response by TSgt Kenneth Ellis made Jun 5 at 2016 5:23 PM

TSgt Kenneth Ellis — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 17:23:59 -0400

No, the pussy cat theater was still showing Deep Throat. They did that for years till the theater was torn down.

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Jun 5 at 2016 5:54 PM

Capt Seid Waddell — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 17:54:06 -0400

You can never go home again.

My home town had grown a great deal and had become a harder place than it was when I was growing up there. The hippies brought in the drug culture, broken families, personal irresponsibility, and disrespect for authority; the police got harder in response.

The left screws up everything they touch, IMHO.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 5 at 2016 6:12 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 18:12:48 -0400

After about ten year of being gone, Cape Cod is much different. A lot more heroin, and a lot more wild turkeys. Never saw any of that growing up.

Response by CPT Joseph K Murdock made Jun 5 at 2016 7:46 PM

CPT Joseph K Murdock — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 19:46:17 -0400

After redeploying and coming home, there was a newness to the place and subtle changes.

Response by MSG Pat Colby made Jun 5 at 2016 8:48 PM

MSG Pat Colby — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 20:48:21 -0400

Your Senior High school days can never be re-lived. Even after that, people grow away from each other. The "clicks" disband and go on. You cannot come back after 3-4 years away and expect everyone to be the same as when you left. Same thing with being gone from your hometown for 20+ years. It's not going to be the same place you left.

You also cannot go back to the Heydays of being a PFC living in the barracks. It's a different Army. A different world from the one you experienced.

Relish the fact that you too have grown.

Response by SGT Philip Roncari made Jun 5 at 2016 9:38 PM

SGT Philip Roncari — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 21:38:56 -0400

I did go home but I had changed too much,I left a scared kid and returned with life altering memories and the start of the battle of the bottle which in many ways was harder for me to fight than the one I survived in the jungles,so I guess Boston was the same I wasn't.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 6 at 2016 9:08 AM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 06 Jun 2016 09:08:28 -0400

I went home several times while I was Active Duty. I would stay maybe 10 days and after the 5th day, I was pretty tired of it. Don't get me wrong, I love being able to visit family and what not, but I wouldn't want to stay in my hometown; it just depresses me since I see the same faces, doing the same thing all these years...like they are stuck in a time warp, damned to repeat. I don't want to get caught up in that.

Response by Cpl Dennis F. made Jun 6 at 2016 12:20 PM

Cpl Dennis F. — Mon, 06 Jun 2016 12:20:46 -0400

Yes I returned home after being away for two years. The area had developed, my parents had changed neighborhoods to a new house, life went on. The biggest change were the friends who stayed behind. I came home to discover they had all become children with ridiculous priorities. This was the beginning of a bad 10 years for me, trying to assimilate, with little help....none from the VA. It's a wonder that I survived it. I was a adrenaline junkie.

Response by Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen made Jun 6 at 2016 6:57 PM

Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen — Mon, 06 Jun 2016 18:57:05 -0400

No, but I went back many times on active duty so kids could have time with their grandparents. It wasn't the same then, but as others have mentioned, think its because my outlook on things had changed so much from when I was growing up. Plus I no longer had much in common with my school mates. Never any desire to return when I retired since family no longer there.

Response by SPC Brian Mason made Jun 6 at 2016 9:16 PM

SPC Brian Mason — Mon, 06 Jun 2016 21:16:09 -0400

Yes. I re-enlisted in the NG of my home state. I had changed as did my viewpoint of the entire world after my first deployment.

Response by SGT Jerrold Pesz made Jun 7 at 2016 9:56 PM

SGT Jerrold Pesz — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 21:56:40 -0400

I went back home and the world had changed. I only served one tour in the military but during that time the sexual revolution took place, the anti-war movement got cranked up, drugs flooded my college campus and I found that I was the enemy because I was in the reserves. Unfortunately I hadn't changed a lot and it took me a little while to get used to the new country. In general it only took me a little while to figure it all out and things went fine.

Response by Cpl Justin Goolsby made Jun 8 at 2016 11:42 AM

Cpl Justin Goolsby — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 11:42:45 -0400

Not permanently, but I've gone back home a couple of times. No it really isn't the same. Generally I feel uneasy. Most of my friends have avoided me. I find it hard being far from a military community. I just find it more comforting being surrounded by military members.

Response by SGM Mikel Dawson made Jun 8 at 2016 12:32 PM

SGM Mikel Dawson — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 12:32:46 -0400

To be honest, I really don't know here home is. I live in Denmark now. I like my life, but it's not Idaho. I was home in Idaho this past winter, I got lost, I didn't know where I was. Finally got to where I wanted to go. Like a good friend (VN Vet) who lives in Portugal told me once: We've been out of the States too long for it to be home. We live and adapt to where ever we are, we are survivors.
I guess he's right. I'm not second guessing my decisions, I just don't claim a home. I live where I am at the time and adapt to the environment.

Response by PFC Pamala (Hall) Foster made Jun 9 at 2016 9:47 PM

PFC Pamala (Hall) Foster — Thu, 09 Jun 2016 21:47:25 -0400

I hated being back home-everything had changed and I felt as if I didn't truly belong anymore

Response by SFC William Stephens made Nov 23 at 2016 9:42 AM

SFC William Stephens — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 09:42:36 -0500

life is like the WIZRAD of OZ everyone I know from High school in my hometown and after serving 20 years in the ARMY, there NO PLACE LIKE HOME. YEs life has changes and all the old people a gone and all the new are a lot different and don't remember you or what you did when you where there. They just know you used to live around there and you ship of to boot camp and never seen again.

How everything ends up like a fairytale.