Cremation or Burial? Where are you on the plan for you?

SGM Erik Marquez — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 10:46:47 -0400

Cremation or burial..... what are your thoughts?
Me, I can not stand the thought of seeing my family pay the extreme costs of a casket burial,, for what is a dead body.. Having had to do this a number of times now I know the stress financial and mental on getting the task done.

My brother and I decided on cremation for our mother, ashes sent into the wind and water at a place she loved. If I ever feel the need to "visit" Id rather do it at that loved place and remember her, then in a cemetary..Do people still go to cemeteries sites often? If so, would you rather not go to a loved place of the deceased and "visit " then there?

My father was cremated as well and buried in a National Cemetery in Colorado... that I suppose is a happy medium, though still, I have no desire to go to a cemetery and "visit".

I have no right to be alive, my life thus far is a series of events and accidents the likes of which have proved fatal for many others, both in the service of our country and on the streets and race tracks across the country, and world. So at the ripe age of 50, still riding fast bikes, driving fast cars, the end can not be far, nor should it be, better men have died when it should have been I.
So the thoughts of how to make it easiest on those I leave behind are in the forethought of daily considerations...
Do you have a plan?

Response by SCPO David Lockwood made Aug 28 at 2015 10:47 AM

SCPO David Lockwood — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 10:47:42 -0400

Truthfully I have not even thought about that.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 28 at 2015 10:47 AM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 10:47:45 -0400

Cremation or burial at sea for me. Only thing that would make me change my mind on this is if my wife or children really wanted me in the ground.

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Aug 28 at 2015 10:50 AM

LTC Stephen F. — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 10:50:19 -0400

SGM Erik Marquez I prefer burial either at West Point or in Arlington National Cemetery - both have good views for people who are visiting - certainly not for me since I expect to be dead at that point:-)
If you have the resources or are authorized for military burial it is a good idea to have a plot or burial in a place with a good view.
If you want visitors "write" something interesting on your tombstone.
My parents ashes are sitting in a nice wooden box very close to me. The original plan was for the ashes to be interred at the University of Pennsylvania where my father worked. For various and sundry reasons the plan to inter the ashes has not been fulfilled.
While buried caskets can be moved it is much easier to move ashes and the urns they are stored in.

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 28 at 2015 10:50 AM

SGM Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 10:50:36 -0400

This is a topic that my wife and I have discussed. We both want to be cremated and to have our ashes spread in beautiful places around the globe. Places like Patagonia, Everest, Machu Picchu. We both love travel and think that instead of wasting the money and the ground with a plot and a marker why not be in places that we both love.

Response by CSM Michael Poll made Aug 28 at 2015 11:01 AM

CSM Michael Poll — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 11:01:37 -0400

I'll be dead, so for me it doesn't matter, whatever my family decides to do with me for their closure is what I want!

Response by PO2 Lloyd Brown made Aug 28 at 2015 11:09 AM

PO2 Lloyd Brown — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 11:09:02 -0400

My plan is immortality....but if that doesn't work out, cremation.

Response by SGT Ben Keen made Aug 28 at 2015 11:10 AM

SGT Ben Keen — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 11:10:35 -0400

It's interesting that this topic comes up today because my parents and I were just discussing this. While my parents have made in clear in their wills that they wish to be cremated, we were talking about the pros and cons of each. The biggest con I had goes back to when my grandfather died. My dad decided to have him cremated because there were no more burial plots left around the head stone that my grandmother, great grandparents and my great uncle and aunt are buried around. While my dad, who is an only child, was able to see my grandfather's body prior to the cremation, I was not. I think sometimes seeing our loved ones one last time brings some more closer to everything. So my parents and I were talking about if they wanted an actual service prior to being cremated and stuff because of this. Either way, its not always easy to talk about what to do when that comes but I think it is worth looking into.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 28 at 2015 11:13 AM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 11:13:52 -0400

I've gone back and forth on this myself. I think it would ultimately depend on the circumstances of my death. I would like to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery. If I were to do that it would be hard for my family to visit. I would also like to be near my wife and I know that she is eligible to be buried with me, she doesn't want to be buried there because she feels she doesn't deserve that honor. I suppose that in the end I will be dead and not have much of an opinion on where I ultimately end up.

Response by LTC Kevin B. made Aug 28 at 2015 11:17 AM

LTC Kevin B. — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 11:17:36 -0400

I joke with my wife that I actually want both. I want my legs cremated, and the rest of my body buried at my wife's location of choice. Then, after the legs are cremated, I want them separated into two vials. One of those vials should be sprinkled on the turf inside Tiger Stadium so that at least some small part of me will be at all LSU home football games.

Response by SSG Ricardo Marcial made Aug 28 at 2015 11:23 AM

SSG Ricardo Marcial — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 11:23:04 -0400

My father requested cremation and his ashes are on the old property. As a child growing up in Puerto Rico my father lost his sister in a fire. He was a veteran of Korea and all those years after the death of his younger sister remained on his mind. We held a ceremony were the house once stood, family and friends walking up the trail to find what was left of the old house after years of growth. There was a fruit tree growing in the middle of what was once my grandparents home. My father's ashes are there, it is marked and fenced. I plan to have my ashes there as well.

I have learned a lot over the years, but the last thing he thought me was how much he loved sister. I miss him tremendously, but I know he is at peace, along side his sister.

Felicito Marcial Tosado, Korean War Veteran, loving father and forever missed. God Bless You.

Te quiero, tu hijo
Ricardo

Response by COL Mikel J. Burroughs made Aug 28 at 2015 11:32 AM

COL Mikel J. Burroughs — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 11:32:33 -0400

SGM Erik Marquez Cremation because I don't want any remaing family to waste money on expensive funerals and burial at Arlington National (first choice) or a National Cemetery in Colorado (2nd choice), or just dump the ashes in the mountain off the back of a Harley Davidson doing about 75 MPH on a straight away! Yea!

Response by 1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 28 at 2015 11:41 AM

1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 11:41:49 -0400

Cremation, unless my wife pulls rank on me.

Response by SGM Steve Wettstein made Aug 28 at 2015 11:48 AM

SGM Steve Wettstein — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 11:48:45 -0400

SGM Erik Marquez My plan is to be cremated and interned at Arlington National Cemetery with my wife.

Response by MCPO Roger Collins made Aug 28 at 2015 11:57 AM

MCPO Roger Collins — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 11:57:33 -0400

You can have it both ways. As stated in a different response, you can say what you want, but your family will have the final say, normally.
Burial Benefits
For Burial in a National Cemetery
Burial benefits available include a gravesite in any of our 131 national cemeteries with available space, opening and closing of the grave, perpetual care, a Government headstone or marker, a burial flag, and a Presidential Memorial Certificate, at no cost to the family. Some Veterans may also be eligible for Burial Allowances. Cremated remains are buried or inurned in national cemeteries in the same manner and with the same honors as casketed remains.

Response by SSG Buddy Kemper made Aug 28 at 2015 11:59 AM

SSG Buddy Kemper — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 11:59:38 -0400

SGM Erik Marquez Probably gonna do traditional burial beside wife....hope it's 100 years from now for BOTH of us!!!! Haahaa! It's weird to think about and we've never really discussed it, but her granddad was buried in a cemetery near us, my granddad is in a mausoleum in same cemetery, so it's kinda cool to think (eventually) we'll be there close to them and in the same fashion as far as burial/casket/etc. I don't see anything wrong with cremation, tho. Her uncle did that and he's at her grandmothers house on a shelf with his picture from Air Force days. It SOUNDS weirder than it is, I guess. But 'grandma' is almost 80 years old and I think she's felt comforted in a way with oldest son in her home. Cool topic. Hope you are safe and have a good weekend. Come home soon!!!

Response by SSgt Alex Robinson made Aug 28 at 2015 12:04 PM

SSgt Alex Robinson — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 12:04:58 -0400

I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread over my favorite place. The Florida Keys.

Response by MSgt Curtis Ellis made Aug 28 at 2015 12:16 PM

MSgt Curtis Ellis — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 12:16:12 -0400

After discussion with the family, definitely cremation, and they are aware of my wishes... My decision was a simple one as I have a daughter I have to visit who is not buried in the state which I reside, and things were much easier with the recent cremation of my father. Besides, I've taken up enough space on this earth, no reason to continue to do so after the fact...
However... LMAO!

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Aug 28 at 2015 12:17 PM

CAPT Kevin B. — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 12:17:11 -0400

Cremation is fine by me as is the nearest National Cemetery or the local one that has a lot of Vets. Sometimes cremation and burial at sea goes wrong. We had the ashes of a Master Chief for burial. As the Ensign was carrying the urn back to the fantail, he tripped and Master Chief went all over the deck. So he got hosed off. Since PAO wanted proper pictures for his widow, some sailor ran up to the BBQ, got ashes, filled the urn, and the staged photos were then taken of Master Chief Kingsford's commitment to the deep. Sometimes you have to punt.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 28 at 2015 2:12 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 14:12:44 -0400

Burial. And I have already told my spouse and friends what I want. Live Bagpiper to play Amazing Grace and a Live Bugler to play Taps at the Graveside. Prior to the grave services, I want Fank Sinatra's "I did it my way" played and Ozzy Osbourne "See you on the other side" to be played as well. And, the creme de la creme...the coup d'etat is to have a keg of beer at my graveside for all of the people there in attendance to have one last round with me......And yes, I want to be buried with a 6 pack of good beer.

Response by PO2 Corey Ferretti made Aug 28 at 2015 2:36 PM

PO2 Corey Ferretti — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 14:36:35 -0400

I want to be cremated because burial is so expensive. But I also want to have my ashes spread out in the wilderness. I know back in the day people had family plots. So family could come and mourn. But my family is so spread out and I don't plan on living close to them so why not go the cheaper route and my wife can keep more of the insurance money.

Response by LTJG Robert M. made Aug 28 at 2015 5:09 PM

LTJG Robert M. — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 17:09:19 -0400

Don't really care, after I am gone, its just used parts left over! If they cremate me some one is going to have to sift out all the metal parts!

Response by SP5 Peter Keane made Sep 1 at 2017 5:27 PM

SP5 Peter Keane — Fri, 01 Sep 2017 17:27:45 -0400

Arlington National Cemetery. Only question is who's on top.

Response by Capt Dwayne Conyers made Sep 2 at 2017 1:46 PM

Capt Dwayne Conyers — Sat, 02 Sep 2017 13:46:39 -0400

No cremation for me.

I’m allergic to cream.

Response by Sgt Wayne Wood made Sep 2 at 2017 3:28 PM

Sgt Wayne Wood — Sat, 02 Sep 2017 15:28:26 -0400

Catch-22 ... Gonna live forever or die trying

Response by CSM Michael Sweeney made Sep 2 at 2017 5:02 PM

CSM Michael Sweeney — Sat, 02 Sep 2017 17:02:13 -0400

Old discussion, but a great one. My wife and I both have detailed wills and burial plans, which of course is most important if we were to both go together. We each trust the other to carry out our wishes and have verbally expressed to our chosen executor as well. He is not family, so no fighting if our Sons have different ideas. We both know that we want to be cremated. No memorial service. No burial. Scatter our ashes. She wants scattered in the Colorado River at the Grand Canyon OR in the Gulf of Mexico on a Caribbean cruise. We started the discussions years ago, before the 5 cruises we have been on. At the time we lived a block from a very large lake. I told her that she could take a trip to Hawaii where we had been stationed and she could scatter my ashes off of Oahu where we scuba dived. That would ensure she gets a visit to Hawaii. She said she didn't care to make the trip and would just save the expense. Next? So I said, OK how about out in the middle of the lake? She said she could just flush the ashes down the toilet. I said that would be fine EXCEPT that our place had a septic tank. She said "So?". I hope we go together.

Response by PVT Raymond Lopez made Sep 2 at 2017 6:34 PM

PVT Raymond Lopez — Sat, 02 Sep 2017 18:34:01 -0400

Burial or cremation? My friends and I have carefully thought about this problem since we were teenagers in Vietnam and there have been some interesting and some even obscene ideas as to how our earthly remains should be suitably disposed of when we slip this mortal coil. I have finally come up with the perfect manner of disposal for them I want to be cremated and then have my ashes carefully placed in an extra-large envelope of the finest linen paper and sent to the Director of the Internal Revenue Service with a beautifully calligraphic note saying “Kindly close out account number (with my taxpayer identification number) you illegitimate oedipus because you now have it all!

Response by SP5 Peter Keane made Sep 3 at 2017 1:07 PM

SP5 Peter Keane — Sun, 03 Sep 2017 13:07:15 -0400

remedied

Response by CPT Lawrence Cable made Sep 3 at 2017 2:07 PM

CPT Lawrence Cable — Sun, 03 Sep 2017 14:07:40 -0400

I told some of my buddies that I wanted a Viking Funeral. They all commented that seemed like the waste of a good boat.
I'm down with Cremation. Really don't see a purpose in embalming a dead body and sticking it in a sealed tomb. I'm sure the spouse will want a monument somewhere, I'm pretty indifferent about where. I do want the flag ceremony, honor guard and taps, and if they screw if up, I'll come back to haunt them.

Response by SPC Diana D. made Sep 3 at 2017 4:54 PM

SPC Diana D. — Sun, 03 Sep 2017 16:54:27 -0400

My husband and I visit the cemetery where his family is buried quite often. It brings him comfort to go there and talk to his mom and dad and all of the other family members. Most of his family members were cremated and buried in the family plot. So I think it depends on the person. If it really matters to someone on how they get buried or cremated they should have it arranged before hand so there is no doubt to what the individual wanted.