Compulsive (Stolen) Valor

2014-09-03T12:23:01-04:00

Stolen Valor has always been an issue of mine. I have encountered countless "One Man Army" poop nobblers that boast about their heroics on the front lines and exclaim to the world of their trial by fire. These self-proclaimed "heroes" are the types of people whom their mothers wished that they had swallowed. Their actions and personalities defeat all credibility to their self-endorsed legend. Whenever I meet one of these compulsive liars, I immediately gather as much information and evidence as I can unearth. 100% of the time, these people have been dishonorably discharged for failing to meet standards or have not even served at all! There is one particular individual who, everyday, boasts about how he saved a baby from a fire while wrestling a bear (a little exaggerated, I know) and the crowd is just in awe of his heroic antics. This guy is 4 feet nothing, weighing in at around 250 lbs. I spoke with his aunt, who works with us, and she told me that she was ashamed of him because he was kicked out of the navy for constantly failing his PT test and failing to meet standards. Whenever this guy asks me about my military history, I simply tell him "Not as epic as yours, apparently." and walk away. It would bring me great joy to call him out during one of his stories of beating off four guys while in the navy... that actually might be a different scenario, but you get my point. What would you do?