Can you admit you are wrong to subordinates?

2014-12-13T20:48:06-05:00

The difference between senior leaders and junior leaders is experience and education. The military does a decent job of that and every once in awhile there needs to be a course correction. Nothing wrong with that, because I respected a leader who would have the patience to explain and the humility that empowers others.

I loved PME schools who helped define my leadership style. One of my trainees earned Observer of the Month for the Air Force. My leadership was natural because I wanted perfection as much as possible. But more than that, was the person. So, if I was made a mistake, would I listen? Did I esteem that young person enough to be modest?

It is the little things that matter and my supervisors did a lot of good things. One has died and another is dying but they will always be blood brothers. They taught me how to better and so did my staff below me. I cared and they knew it and if there is anything, I will wax fondly over what good they did for me. Above and below.

What are your thoughts. How far do you go? And what style of management did you employ?

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Dec 13 at 2014 9:15 PM

2014-12-13T21:15:15-05:00

I'll let you know.....if I ever make a mistake (lol!)

Response by SGT Eric Spitz made Dec 14 at 2014 4:02 AM

2014-12-14T04:02:23-05:00

I see no harm in admitting your wrongs. In fact, I think it's a must. While it's not taught in any CO/NCO course I'm aware of, I think the attribute of humility is an amplifier of all other leadership attributes. It takes tremendous courage to practice humility. Critical self-awareness and self-reflection are difficult, at the very best of times. But they allow leaders to remain strong in the eyes of their subordinates (and peers). You can spend a lifetime teaching your subordinates skills, values, morals, and ethics. But if you should ever violate those teachings, however unintentional, you absolutely must admit your mistake and strive to correct it. Otherwise, you're truly just a hypocrite, and everything you've done prior to that very moment is worthless.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 14 at 2014 5:05 AM

2014-12-14T05:05:54-05:00

I don't have problem admitting when I've made a mistake. What bothers me is when people make excuses for their mistakes or try to blame it on others. Just admit you are wrong and move on.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Dec 14 at 2014 5:06 AM

2014-12-14T05:06:17-05:00

There has always existed the unwritten rules of leadership: never bitch downwards, never be indecisive and never apologize in front of subordinates. Patton was ordered to do the latter and I've broken them all. We're human, regardless of the stoic principals of military leadership we are "obliged" to uphold. Fortunately I've always had the counsel of great senior NCO leadership to be my sounding board when I've questioned decisions I've made or had to make. It's not something you want to do all the time, but owning up to a bad call on occasion can be the right thing to do.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 14 at 2014 8:14 AM

2014-12-14T08:14:03-05:00

There is a right and wrong way to admit you were wrong. Leader often forget that the individuals they are Leading are not constantly analyzing them and will think "bullshit" just as quickly as a peer will call "bullshit" for a obvious mistake or incorrect statement. Based on that if I am wrong I'll tell them that I was wrong and tell them why but will keep in mind professional distance. HOWEVER... I feel it is wrong to admit your wrong (I could of worded that better) if you will create the impression that you or incompetent or diminished you Leadership authority.

Response by MSG Scott McBride made Dec 14 at 2014 1:06 PM

2014-12-14T13:06:13-05:00

You should never have to apologize to your subordinates for decisions you made if those decisions were for the good of the group or the organizations has a whole. You will never make all of your subordinates happy. Now if you made a decision or directed fire that was prejudicial to good order and discipline and you folks followed you into it, and you hurt the group or the organization than you should apologize and be removed from your post. Leadership is not a popularity contest and you should not base your decisions on whether or not you're people will be happy or they like you. Your job is to protect the commander, the unit and the Army.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 14 at 2014 8:15 PM

2014-12-14T20:15:57-05:00

If you are human and fallible which we all are, you CAN concede that you were wrong. Thinking that you cannot apologize is a bit alarming and I tell you this, a person would love an LT-LTC which are approachable and not just a hypothetical slogan.

Response by SFC Josh Jackson made Dec 15 at 2014 10:52 PM

2014-12-15T22:52:15-05:00

I had a 1SG once tell me that senior NCOs don't admit mistakes. I flatly rejected that philosophy. Soldiers can tell when something goes wrong, and they know when you screwed up. Watching you admit to and take ownership of your mistake is a great example to set for subordinates.

Response by SGT Craig Northacker made Dec 16 at 2014 11:17 AM

2014-12-16T11:17:12-05:00

Whose definition of wrong? What were the background elements taken into account by me compared to them? Are we talking strategically or tactically? What is their background for making assessments - how well have you cultivated them to invite them to think through all the issues? Are we making the right decision for the wrong reasons, or the "wrong" decision for the right reasons? Which part of the linear approach covers the decision - was it 100-0, 90-10, or 50-50?
The famous LA Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda asked a group of reporters after a game what they would have done if they were in his place. He gave two scenarios - one half chose one, and the other half chose the other. His observation to them was that he could only be right half the time on the best of days with his audience.

Response by Cpl Glynis Sakowicz made Dec 16 at 2014 11:28 AM

2014-12-16T11:28:29-05:00

I was a witness to a General admitting a mistake, and I always believed, if HE could do it, I owed it to my fellow Marines to follow his example.
Then again, I've seen some situations were no mistake needed to be admitted to, because we ALL knew it wasn't right, but the situation ended up so ridiculous that no one could do anything but laugh...
Case in point: A new SGTMAJ taking over a squadron while I was at Cherry Point. He came up to the mike and stood there for a moment, getting red in the face. A polite cough from the General behind him, made his stiffen and he bellowed out, "Airplane Battalion! At ease..." I don't think I was the only one who snorted and coughed at that. Turns out he'd just slid over from the "Grunt" side, and he just couldn't remember what an aviation unit was called.
Case in point: A certain General who decided that he wanted the visiting Russians to witness a 'real Marine unit using Helos to get to the fight. He decided that he really needed a Howitzer or two as well for the full effect on the visitors. Picture it, Marines sliding down ropes to the ground... getting into position... Howitzer appears overhead, hanging from a Helo... support snaps, Helo goes up, Howitzer goes down... Marines scatter, diving under vehicles... along with said General and myself, while Russians stayed right where they were, watching the show. Howitzer hits the ground, pieces go all over the place, and by the way, did you know they bounce? We crawl out from under the duece and a half, brushing sand off the uniforms as the Russian officers nod politely and tell the general how fascinating it was, but they failed to see how a broken piece of artillery would help in a battle. Without missing a beat, the General clears his throat, "Well, that was the Army way... now, let me show you how the Marines do it..." as the second Howitzer appeared overhead, slowly settling down with pinpoint accuracy... I had a sudden fight of coughing, getting a slant-eyed 'we will NOT discuss this again.' look from the General, but yes, he knew it was a mistake.

Response by CPO Greg Frazho made Dec 16 at 2014 12:54 PM

2014-12-16T12:54:37-05:00

Yes and I did! I'll be the first to admit I am not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, and I often learned, not frequently, but often enough, by the school of hard knocks. If there's a way to screw something up, I've probably done it or tried to!

Now I'm not talking about with life, limb and human life; I'm talking about details, work load, follow-through, etc. More the administrative than anything else. There's nothing wrong with admitting you made the wrong choice after the fact. It happens.

On the other hand, people who NEVER admit to being wrong or any kind of shortfall are the kinds of colleagues I divest myself of as quickly as possible.

Response by MAJ Raúl Rovira made Dec 17 at 2014 11:56 PM

2014-12-17T23:56:12-05:00

Every day and every time. At the end of the day, it is my mistake. I fix it with confidence, then I move on.

Response by Cpl Ray Fernandez made Dec 18 at 2014 12:55 AM

2014-12-18T00:55:17-05:00

Absolutely, I look at it the same way I would if I were the subordinate. I'll have more respect for a leader if they admit an error, and they work on fixing it than if they continue with the error even after it's been made clear to them that they are wrong.

Response by Cpl Dr Ronnie Manns made Dec 18 at 2014 12:32 PM

2014-12-18T12:32:03-05:00

I think the person who cannot admit that they are wrong to seniors or subordinates do not need to be a leader. Admitting you wrong to either seems to make them respect you more and are more willing to do what you ask without question, well at least that's been my experience.

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 18 at 2014 1:20 PM

2014-12-18T13:20:24-05:00

I have no problem admitted and apologizing for human error. We are imperfect people and not expected to know "everything".

I also like to think that the recipient tells me a lot about themselves on how they handle it. If it is accepted graciously, it shows maturity. If the person goes on a tirade or is smug, I will do a little "spot mentoring". :)

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 6 at 2015 3:09 PM

2015-01-06T15:09:47-05:00

Yes. The operations culture of the Air Force thrives on it. After every flight, we debrief, and pick apart what went wrong, why it went wrong, and how we can prevent others from making the same mistake in the future.

I think many communities could benefit from doing the same thing on a regular basis.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 7 at 2015 11:28 AM

2015-01-07T11:28:54-05:00

Owning up to a mistake is the first step to correcting it. It's also the first step to regaining the faith and trust of your subordinates (particularly if it was a grievous error).

Response by SSG Gerhard S. made Jan 7 at 2015 11:38 AM

2015-01-07T11:38:15-05:00

Honest mistakes should always be tolerated, and even embraced. It is how we learn. When our subordinated make a mistake it is an opportunity to train to ensure it is not repeated. When we, as leaders make a mistake it is important to utilize that mistake the same way. First we have to acknowledge the mistake... If we can't do that, then we can't do anything to fix it or to ensure it's not repeated. Not only do we learn from our mistakes, our subordinates will learn from them too, so long as we acknowledge them, and are transparent in their resolution. Sometimes a little self-deprecation in front of our subordinates breaks the ice, and can lead to positive discussions that lead to better future outcomes.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Aug 15 at 2015 1:19 PM

2015-08-15T13:19:08-04:00

At training meetings I often posed a question or the NCOs would make recommendations which I often adopted, to give them a buy in into the decision making. When we debated about training, they did not know I would look at the NCO for passion and appropriate input. The tie would go to the NCO as I wanted them to feel relevant, and I wanted to espouse that passion.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Aug 17 at 2015 2:52 PM

2015-08-17T14:52:49-04:00

In the end I ensured to make sure my subordinates were prepared for success. I was very approachable in person and meetings, so the NCOs spoke candidly and prepared me for success. I really liked their input because they had a buy in on the decision making, and it empowered them.

Response by SSG Robert Spina made Aug 17 at 2015 6:21 PM

2015-08-17T18:21:24-04:00

YES