Can a spouse/victim request MPO removal?

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 13 May 2022 13:21:32 -0400

A few weeks ago my wife and I had an argument about 0230 and she called the MPs to talk to and calm me down, not knowing how serious they take issues. I have a few charges against me, which both CID and FAP says it doesn’t seem they will stick, but the situation is still under investigation. Earlier this week my CDR implaced an MPO against my wife’s wishes; she told CID, FAP, SVC, and the CDR that she doesn’t want an MPO against me. We have a three month old and she’s going through postpartum depression alone, as I am to stay away unless I have an escort. We are allowed telephone communication. Again, my wife doesn’t want the MPO and has requested the CDR to remove it and get me back home, but it was denied. The charges are accusations and I’ve not seen any type of trial; only an interview with CID and counseling with the CDR. I am seeking help/answers.

1. Can the MPO be rescinded by request of the victim?
2. Should the MPO have been implaced with only accusations and unfounded evidence?

My wife and I have resolved the issues we had and are working on strengthening our marriage. I am not a danger to her or our child, who also is in protection. My wife can confirm. The command team is aware of the parenting situation, and I was command referred to FAP; but have been going for my family’s sake. The situation is only making our marriage worse.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 13 at 2022 3:34 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 13 May 2022 15:34:10 -0400

The Commander giveth, and the Commander taketh. Since the Commander is the one that initiated it, only the Commander can rescind it. Did your Commander say how long the MPO will be in effect for?

What is probably happening is that there is an investigation running concurrent with the MPO. If, at the end of the investigation by the IO there is nothing found that substantiates the accusations, then the MPO will/can be removed. You haven't seen a trial because there are no official charges. Again, right now there is an investigation. You have to realize and remember that the Army does not take lightly any smell of possible spousal abuse. Do you live on or off base?

What you need to do is go talk to JAG/TDA to get proper legal guidance/advice.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made May 13 at 2022 3:34 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 13 May 2022 15:34:55 -0400

Military Protective Order (MPO) is a written lawful order issued by a commander that orders a Soldier to avoid contact with those persons identified in the order. It does not have to be requested by the victim.
1. No, the victim has no say in the MPO being initated or removed. It is a command order.
2. A MPO is a preventive course of action to prevent things from getting out of control (keeping you from going to jail). The MPs being called is enough for the commander to take action.
Once the 'cooling off' period or FAP case is resolved, there should be no reason to keep the MPO in place.
FAP is ALWAYS involved, and a case is initiated, when the MPs get called for domestic issues. I've sat on multiple board pannels.

Response by MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P made May 13 at 2022 5:27 PM

MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P — Fri, 13 May 2022 17:27:12 -0400

Commanders often issue MPOs to protect YOU as much as the other person. The logic being "if you are not in contact with the other individual, then there can't be any more conflict or allegations of wrongdoing". Whether your spouse wants the MPO or not is irrelevant at this point. Your commander has issued a lawful order and there are heavy penalties if you choose to disobey that order. Best advice I have at this point is to contact your local Area Defense Counsel (ADC), a good post-partum support group, and a good family counselor (if you haven't already). And pretty much in that order.

Post-partum complications can have long term devastating effects on many women. Hopefully your wife can get the professional care/support she needs. After all the blow-back from this situation has calmed, she'll need your support as much as anyone else's.

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made May 13 at 2022 5:38 PM

SFC Casey O'Mally — Fri, 13 May 2022 17:38:26 -0400

So you already have folks answering your question. But that doesn't solve your problem. Your wife needs support. And she needs it now, not in 5 days or 5 weeks when the MPO is rescinded.

Since you are allowed phone contact, you need to do two things ASAP. 1. Set up a schedule for phone calls. As often as possible for as long as possible while still allowing you both to do your daily living / work / parenting. Even if it is 5 minutes during lunch, calling and checking in with her let's her know you are supporting her as best you can under the circumstances. That goes further than you might think.

2. Tell her to schedule an appointment with Behavioral health immediately. Post partum is nothing new. They will be able to give her some help and support, and also see if more needs to be done. If you can't be there for her right now, SOMEONE needs to be, and BH can help fill that gap. Friends, relatives, and neighbors can also help out, but BH are trained professionals who are there specifically for this and other similar situations. Use them.

Also, talk to Chaplain, he may be able to either provide you some additional insight or bend the Commander's ear a little.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 13 at 2022 5:47 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 13 May 2022 17:47:00 -0400

You have to look at this from the perspective of the commander. There are many couples who are terrible for each other. They're like moths to a flame, they can't stay apart and something always ends up on fire. Many, many, many spouses in toxic relationships have requested an MPO to be lifted. Many spouses in toxic relationships go back to their abuser, go back and abuse, or go back and both keep fighting. The commanders job is to prevent that from happening. Your spouse can say they are fine now, but how many other spouses have said the same thing only to have the MPs show up after a night of drinking? A lot. A whole lot. Prior performance is indicative of future behavior. So, that's why commanders keep MPOs in place until they feel comfortable all family members are safe.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made May 13 at 2022 7:10 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 13 May 2022 19:10:15 -0400

Most MPO's have an expiration date or terms for expiration, i.e. Soldier completes tasks A, B, and C and then the commander will reevaluate the need of an MPO.

If there's an ongoing investigation then it will not likely be rescinded until the investigation is complete. This is due to a need to ensure that you and your family are safe from any issues and that any additional accusations that come up are covered by this MPO, i.e. she makes a false accusation against you or you make one against her.

This is going to be a difficult experience, but it's one you can weather and hopefully come out as a stronger family for it. Reach our to your Chaplain, seek our JAG for legal advice, and keep your CoC apprised of any updates or changes whether positive or negative.

Response by SSgt Christophe Murphy made May 13 at 2022 11:30 PM

SSgt Christophe Murphy — Fri, 13 May 2022 23:30:28 -0400

The MPO is put in place by the Command by order of the Commander. Your Wife's opinion on it can be considered but it's not her choice on whether it is implemented. You can request it to be removed but the Command won't do it after a couple of weeks. It takes time.