But who are we, now? We can not even cry anymore - This is Justin's story about PTSD

2015-08-23T11:04:29-04:00

We can not even cry anymore, written by Kim Bolen RN CCM ACM one of RPs Civilian Supporters!

It’s very frustrating for us living with PTSD.

I say US with intent. It is a family disorder. It is now a community and I will even go as far to say PTSD is now an American disorder. Each and everyone of us knows someone in the military that has some form of this disorder. Many remain at war.

I will try to describe what it feels like and how we can see it, so that we may perhaps just help one survivor and their family.

This is Justin's Story.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/we-can-even-cry-anymore-kimberly-bolen-rn-lcm-acm-ccm?trk=pulse-det-nav_art

Response by CDR Laurel Meadows made Aug 23 at 2015 11:06 AM

2015-08-23T11:06:14-04:00

Everyday, I give thanks that I and my family are healthy and happy. So many are not.

Response by CW4 Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 23 at 2015 11:07 AM

2015-08-23T11:07:36-04:00

COL Mikel J. Burroughs, thanks for sharing Sir. The everlasting effects of PTSD and service members and their families will never truly be understood. Society and medical professionals have come along way with awareness techniques and medical treatment, but the fight has a long way to go.

Response by LCDR Rabbah Rona Matlow made Aug 23 at 2015 11:10 AM

2015-08-23T11:10:41-04:00

I have written extensively on PTSD here on RP. For those who are suffering and not getting help - please contact me off line. I can help directly and also provide resources...

Response by Sgt David G Duchesneau made Aug 23 at 2015 11:12 AM

2015-08-23T11:12:29-04:00

Sorry to say but PTSD has become a way of life! You do the best you can, just one fucking day at a time!

Response by SFC Dr. Joseph Finck, BS, MA, DSS made Aug 23 at 2015 11:37 AM

2015-08-23T11:37:49-04:00

COL Mikel J. Burroughs Sir, thank you for sharing. This story is not only poignant but timely.

Response by CPO Joseph Grant made Aug 23 at 2015 11:40 AM

2015-08-23T11:40:30-04:00

That article hits a lot right on the head. Mine came from several incidents onboard submarines, most of which are classified (whether it's the incident or what we did to survive, where we were when we weren't really there etc). On the second wife now and I still can't describe why I react the way I do or why I become enraged at things she doesn't even notice.

Response by SSgt Terry P. made Aug 23 at 2015 11:45 AM

2015-08-23T11:45:52-04:00

One of the best i have ever read on this subject.I have ptsd and lived with it alone for more than 35 years. I knew that i acted different than those i had to be involved with,so i alienated myself from everyone.Only now do i interact with a few people on a social level and even that isn't up to a reasonable standard,but it is better.The only reason i am making this response is to appeal to any who may experience this---Do not do what i did and find some type of help so you can live a better quality of life.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Aug 23 at 2015 11:51 AM

2015-08-23T11:51:49-04:00

Great parables of life with PTSD. From day 1 in the army we were inculcated with the warrior ethos of being strong physically and mentally. However, when PTSD hits, it changes almost all of the dynamics of who you are, and your new being is filled with immense hatred, sadness, and loneliness. You also miss who you were, miss every aspect while trying to redefine who you are now.

Response by SN Greg Wright made Aug 23 at 2015 12:34 PM

2015-08-23T12:34:57-04:00

COL Mikel J. Burroughs Excellent article, Colonel, thank you for sharing. I myself don't suffer from PTSD (I have other problems heh), but it's good to show those that might that they're not alone.

Response by CPT Jack Durish made Aug 23 at 2015 1:10 PM

2015-08-23T13:10:59-04:00

I suppose that the only reaction one can possibly have to this story is frustration. Frustration that there is no pill, no magical treatment for PTSD. Frustration that there is no way to mitigate the forces that exacerbate PTSD when sufferers return home. Frustration that those who serve are merely dumped back on civilian society without any recognition of PTSD let alone treatment. Frustration that many who are closest to those who suffer PTSD may be enabling it rather than helping alleviate it. Frustration. Ignorance really is bliss, and knowledge leads ultimately to frustration...

Response by COL Ted Mc made Aug 23 at 2015 7:50 PM

2015-08-23T19:50:16-04:00

COL Mikel J. Burroughs - Mikel; When the military ACTUALLY starts thinking that the majority of returned service personnel ARE going to be suffering "psychological dislocation" to one degree or another, THEN we might make some progress.

NO ONE (brought up in our society) can be exposed to causing death and/or seeing wholesale death dealt out at random on multiple occasions without being adversely effected. [No amount of "Grand Theft - Auto" or "World of Warcraft" will prepare real people for the real effects of really being closely involved in the retail end of dealing death.]

I firmly believe that it is necessary for the mental well-being of military personnel that they undergo MANDATORY "decompression" - regardless of any "self-reported" or "self-perceived" symptoms or signs of PTSD. That "decompression" should be in a familiar MILITARY setting with controls being gradually loosened. [It wouldn't hurt to have that "decompression" followed by an "organized" family centered "off duty" period where the service members, and their families, would have INSTANT access to professional assistance.]

Although it might seem "harsh" I think that consideration should be given to regarding all deployments at two years long. Months 1, 2, and 3 would be "Pre-deployment Workup", Months 4, 5, and 6 would be "Handover" (the troop strength on the ground would be doubled during that period because the previously deployed troops would still be there). Months 7 through 18 would be "Deployment" (with the troop strength on the ground being doubled during months 16, 17, and 18 due to the arrival of the troops for the succeeding deployment). Months 19, 20, and 21 would be "Decompression" with the relieved troops remaining on base and under increasingly loose observation/discipline). Months 22, 23, and 24 would be "Organized - Family Centered - Off Duty Time" and could be done at (for example) Hawai'ian commercial residential/recreational facilities - who would be quite happy with full occupancy and guaranteed payment during a "slower season".

On top of that SCHEDULE deployments enough in advance so that the troops (and families) can prepare themselves for them.

My personal preference would be that deployed units be treated as a single scheduling unit for the entire (two year) "Deployment Period". What should NOT happen is for someone to return from a deployment to find themselves PCSd to a new unit which is about to be deployed.

Do I think that anyone is actually going to give serious consideration to anything other than "Shut up and soldier." while paying lip service to the problems? Do pigs fly?

Response by SSG Keith Cashion made Aug 24 at 2015 11:00 AM

2015-08-24T11:00:28-04:00

I read this and relate in so many ways. I still to this day, keep my back to the wall and don't like it when people are standing behind me. I still when going into a resturant have to sit in a booth facing into the resturant and can still give the layout of the place to include number of personnel, exits, and number of vehicles in the parking lot. My wife thinks I am going to give myself whiplash because I am continually scanning and listening, and hearing what is going on. Sad thing is that I used to enjoy being in big crowded places because of all of the action going on. Driving is fun as well..

Response by PO1 John Miller made Aug 27 at 2015 4:54 AM

2015-08-27T04:54:09-04:00

Thank you for sharing! While I don't personally have PTSD, I found that I do have all of the symptoms/coping methods described in this story.

I think my biggest problem is that the person who I am supposed to be closest to, my wife, I feel isn't supportive/doesn't want to understand my issues and treats me like I'm a stupid asshole when I try and talk about them or get upset. It's always what I'm doing wrong, how my complaints about her are invalid/how her own behavior is my fault, etc. We've tried counseling before but it didn't work out for me because both therapists ended thinking I was an asshole.

Who knows? Maybe I DO have PTSD and don't realize it. I wasn't boots on ground, so I never considered the possibility that I may have it. Even though I understand that boots on ground combat isn't the only cause of PTSD, I feel like those men and women with boots on ground caused PTSD are the ones who need treatment more than I do.