Battles Fought After the War Is Over

2021-02-22T09:12:16-05:00

Sexual assault is happening at an alarming rate. Every 73 seconds an American is sexually assaulted. 1 of every 6 women and 1 out of 33 men will be a victim of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. 1 out of 10 rape survivors is male. According to RAINN, 6,053 military members reported experiencing sexual assault during military service in FY (Fiscal Year) 2018; however, the DoD estimates about 20,500 service members experienced sexual assault that year. This means that 70% of our brothers and sisters in arms are suffering in silence. Most times these survivors (and others) blame themselves for what happened by asking questing questions such as why did I go to the party/bar/club/house; why wasn’t I strong enough to fight them off; why did I freeze; did I lead him/her on; etc. Please understand that you did NOT ask, nor did you deserve, to be sexually assaulted!

Sexual assault is a crime - regardless of who commits it - regardless of who survives it. Unlike other traumas, the impact of sexual assault is oftentimes undetectable but have a lasting effect on the survivor, their environment, and their way of living. I hear people say “they look okay” when referring to sexual assault survivors. Consider this - If you take a knit sweater and unravel it down to the yarn and then knit the exact sweater; you will produce an item that looks identical to the initial product; however, that sweater underwent a significant change. Just as the sweater looks the same after being broken down and rebuilt, survivors of sexual assault may appear to be the same, but they have endured an oftentimes life-altering event.

I am assuming that most individuals reading this post has been or knows of someone who has been sexually assaulted. Life can be a difficult journey at times with the speedbumps that slow us down, stop signs and traffic lights that stop us, U-turns that take us in different directions, potholes that break us, and dead ends that lead to discouragement. Ernest Hemingway said it best “We are ALL broken. That is how the light gets in.” Though we are not the ones who broke us, we are the ones responsible for fixing ourselves.

When I was a young mother, I recall the elders telling me that it takes a village to raise a child. Now, as an older adult, I believe that it takes a village. Period. It takes a village (community) to help raise, nurture, and protect young children. It takes a village to guide and mentor young adults. And it takes a village to care for and support our elders. We are the village! Almost everyone in this community has served in the military, is serving, helps those who have served, or is a friend/family member of a service member. Not only is it is our job to watch after one another, but we must begin the journey of healing and recovery. Though the road to recovery may be bumpy at times, rest assured that you are not alone. You have us, your community, your village here to support you every step of the way...
Until next time!

Listed below are a few resources for survivors of sexual assault:
DoD Safe Helpline: [login to see] ; Text 55-247 (inside U.S.); Text [login to see] (outside U.S.)
RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE
Department of Defense Sexual Assault/Rape Prevention website: https://rly.pt/3sgWMd8
Army Sexual Harassment & Assault Response/Prevention website: http://rly.pt/37A3Edq
National Guard: Sexual Assault Prevention and Response (SAPR): http://rly.pt/3dCDefg
Coast Guard: Sexual Assault Prevention Response and Recovery Program (SAPRR) | Health, Safety and Work-Life Directorate (CG-11), U.S. Coast Guard (uscg.mil) - http://rly.pt/2P50f09
Air Force Sexual Assault Prevention/Response website: https://www.resilience.af.mil/SAPR/
Navy Sexual Assault & Prevention: Sexual Assault & Prevention (navy.mil) - http://rly.pt/3pKrZ6J

3sgWMd8

Response by Lt Col Charlie Brown made Feb 22 at 2021 9:19 AM

2021-02-22T09:19:20-05:00

Thank you for the resources and yes to both having been personally impacted and knowing of others. It's hard to serve in a command billet and not see it happen. The key is to deal with it quickly, appropriately and with compassion for the victim, imo

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Feb 22 at 2021 9:47 AM

2021-02-22T09:47:05-05:00

Excellent share MSG Private RallyPoint Member

Response by CW3 Michael Bodnar made Feb 22 at 2021 1:47 PM

2021-02-22T13:47:01-05:00

MSG Private RallyPoint Member great article and I enjoyed reading the information. I believe we as a society need to change - completely. As we recently found our in the Army, the SHARP program just stinks that way it currently is. We recently had a townhall with our CO and hopefully those comments make it back to leadership because this is a problem that's not going away and it needs to.

Response by Wayne Soares made Feb 26 at 2021 10:02 PM

2021-02-26T22:02:07-05:00

Great share LaTashia

Response by CPT Wayne Price made Feb 28 at 2021 11:43 AM

2021-02-28T11:43:03-05:00

Victims will need long term support groups and psychotherapy. Then there is an excellent chance for recovery. WaynePrice, PhD

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 6 at 2021 10:41 AM

2021-03-06T10:41:26-05:00

I can't finish this post at the moment. I'll finish it when I'm in a better state.
Thank you for this post and resources.

Response by MCPO Roger Collins made Mar 7 at 2021 2:38 PM

2021-03-07T14:38:03-05:00

All the results of cultural decline.

Response by CPT Steven Cunningham made Mar 15 at 2021 1:24 PM

2021-03-15T13:24:24-04:00

When I was young, other decent men would hunt out the rapist and give him a good lesson in proper conduct. Where are the men today?

Response by Martin McMahon made May 29 at 2022 10:09 AM

2022-05-29T10:09:08-04:00

Not military, but spent many years as a young boy through mid teens, suffering sexual and mental abuse at the hands of my mother. Over 40 years later, I'm finally seeking help via psychotherapy and medication.

I've managed to have a great career in software development, however I could never stay in an intimate relationship with a female.

Help is out there. Life goes on and you too can overcome, if you allow people to help.