MAJ Private RallyPoint Member 688284 <div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I can't be the only person that likes bad jokes, aka "dad jokes". Share 'em.<br /><br />I'll start....<br /><br />Diarrhea is hereditary because it runs in your jeans.<br /><br />When cold, one should always stand in a corner because corners are always right at 90 degrees. <br /><br />and finally...<br /><br />What did the claustrophobic lice say?<br /><br />Let me out of hair!! 2015-05-22T09:19:05-04:00 MAJ Private RallyPoint Member 688284

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I can't be the only person that likes bad jokes, aka "dad jokes". Share 'em.<br /><br />I'll start....<br /><br />Diarrhea is hereditary because it runs in your jeans.<br /><br />When cold, one should always stand in a corner because corners are always right at 90 degrees. <br /><br />and finally...<br /><br />What did the claustrophobic lice say?<br /><br />Let me out of hair!!

2015-05-22T09:19:05-04:00 2015-05-22T09:19:05-04:00 PO1 John Miller 688285

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>What did the fish say when he swam into the underwater wall?<br /><br />"Dam."

2015-05-22T09:21:53-04:00 2015-05-22T09:21:53-04:00 MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca 688286

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Anybody seen the chem-light batteries?

2015-05-22T09:23:48-04:00 2015-05-22T09:23:48-04:00 MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca 688290

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Knock, knock<br /><br />Who's there?<br /><br />Orange<br /><br />Orange who?<br /><br />Orange who aware that there's just too many bad jokes out there! <br /><br />Bada-ba-bing!!

2015-05-22T09:24:05-04:00 2015-05-22T09:24:05-04:00 MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca 688295

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>How do you confuse Ted Kenendy?<br /><br />Invite him to the oval office and tell him to help himself to the mini bar in the corner<br /><br />Va, va, va, VOOM!!!!

2015-05-22T09:26:28-04:00 2015-05-22T09:26:28-04:00 MAJ Private RallyPoint Member 688297

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>What do bees do when the finish building their hive?<br /><br />They have a house swarming party!

2015-05-22T09:27:24-04:00 2015-05-22T09:27:24-04:00 MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca 688303

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>What did one colostomy bag say to the other?<br /><br />You're so full of sh!t!

2015-05-22T09:33:12-04:00 2015-05-22T09:33:12-04:00 MSG Private RallyPoint Member 688340

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? The horse took a bath

2015-05-22T09:45:37-04:00 2015-05-22T09:45:37-04:00 SMSgt Dan Powell 688344

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Do catfish have kittens?

2015-05-22T09:51:38-04:00 2015-05-22T09:51:38-04:00 SSG John Erny 688366

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>1SG phone rings, “Alpha Company 1SG Smith how can I help you sir or ma'am?<br />Caller, “1SG I am looking for PVT Parts, I am told he is in your unit”<br />1SG: I do not have any one by that name on the alpha roster.<br />Caller: I am certain that you do.<br />1SG: I am telling you I do not have PVT Parts!

2015-05-22T10:04:01-04:00 2015-05-22T10:04:01-04:00 SSG John Erny 688376

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>What's the difference between a butter bar and PV2, the PV2 has been promoted once.

2015-05-22T10:08:58-04:00 2015-05-22T10:08:58-04:00 SFC Private RallyPoint Member 688399

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, &quot;how much for a drink.&quot; The bartender says, &quot;for you, no charge!&quot;<br /><br />A sandwich walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender say, &quot;Sorry, we don&#39;t serve food here.&quot;<br /><br />What do you call cheese that isn&#39;t yours?<br /><br />NACHO cheese.<br /><br />There is a whole bunch of them in this post. You can thank SSG James J. Palmer IV aka &quot;JP&#39; for starting that off. <div class="pta-link-card answers-template-image type-default"> <div class="pta-link-card-picture"> <img src="https://d26horl2n8pviu.cloudfront.net/link_data_pictures/images/000/014/430/qrc/fb_share_logo.png?1443042612"> </div> <div class="pta-link-card-content"> <p class="pta-link-card-title"> <a target="blank" href="https://www.rallypoint.com/answers/what-is-something-that-is-a-little-known-fact-about-you?urlhash=683072">What is something that is a little known fact about you? | RallyPoint</a> </p> <p class="pta-link-card-description">This thread is for telling the world a little known fact about yourself. Be it a weird hobby, or something that you&#39;ve done in your life that no one would ever guess in a million years. Have fun! Let&#39;s learn a little about one another! [~452047:GySgt Wayne A. Ekblad] [~125031:Capt Christopher Mueller] [~337312:SMSgt Stephanie McGirr] [~356984:Sgt Sasha Cruz] [~313343:SFC Mark Merino] [~38789:1LT Eric Rosa] [~541687:TSgt Hunter Logan]...</p> </div> <div class="clearfix"></div> </div>

2015-05-22T10:20:57-04:00 2015-05-22T10:20:57-04:00 SFC Private RallyPoint Member 688404

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with implants?<br /><br />One is a dusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean!

2015-05-22T10:22:28-04:00 2015-05-22T10:22:28-04:00 SFC Joseph James 688794

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>So two muffins were sitting in an oven and the first muffin said to the other muffin "Man it's hot in here!" The second muffin goes to the first muffin and says "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

2015-05-22T13:18:38-04:00 2015-05-22T13:18:38-04:00 PO2 Josh Rymer 688900

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Obama walked into Burger King and said "let me have 2 whoppers" and the kid behind the counter said your doing a great job and I'm glad I voted for you

2015-05-22T14:07:49-04:00 2015-05-22T14:07:49-04:00 PO2 Josh Rymer 688903

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>There was a litter of kittens and they where all born democrat, and then their eyes opened lol

2015-05-22T14:09:37-04:00 2015-05-22T14:09:37-04:00 LTC Private RallyPoint Member 688905

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>A Mexican magician said that he will disappear on the count of three. &quot;Uno, dos...&quot; Then he disappeared without a tres.<br />

2015-05-22T14:11:40-04:00 2015-05-22T14:11:40-04:00 PO2 Josh Rymer 688928

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>How many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None because they don't want to the lightbulb feel bad for not working<br /><br />All in good fun but<br />What's the difference between obama and jesus? Jesus doesn't think he is obama <br /><br />Here is a army navy one<br />Why is the army football team like a possum? On the count of they play dead at home and get killed on the road hoorah navy<br /><br />How do you get a Tennessee graduate off your porch? You pay him for the pizza, I hope none of these offend anybody but they are funny to me lol

2015-05-22T14:23:05-04:00 2015-05-22T14:23:05-04:00 SGT Lawrence Corser 689157

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>where did the pencils go on vacation?<br /><br />Pennsylvania...rim shot

2015-05-22T16:35:56-04:00 2015-05-22T16:35:56-04:00 CAPT Kevin B. 689193

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Two carrots were in a car wreck. One wasn't wearing a seat belt. At the hospital the Doctor told the carrot wearing a belt that his friend would survive but be a vegetable for the rest of his life.

2015-05-22T16:55:08-04:00 2015-05-22T16:55:08-04:00 Kanika Misra 689234

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Why do chicken coops only have two doors?<br /><br />Because if they had four, they'd be chicken sedans!

2015-05-22T17:15:04-04:00 2015-05-22T17:15:04-04:00 SGT John Rauch 689357

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>light a fire for a man, he will be warm for the rest of the day, light a man on fire , he will be warm for the rest of his life.<br /> So, a guy walks into a bar and says "ouch."<br />just think about the last line for a minute, you will get it...........

2015-05-22T18:34:37-04:00 2015-05-22T18:34:37-04:00 CSM Charles Hayden 689570

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>The little duck walked softly across the road, he was such a little duck he couldn't walk hardly!

2015-05-22T20:20:35-04:00 2015-05-22T20:20:35-04:00 MAJ Private RallyPoint Member 690490

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>When attacked by a bunch of clowns, you should always go for the juggler!!

2015-05-23T08:38:13-04:00 2015-05-23T08:38:13-04:00 MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca 694910

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Plato: To be is to do...<br />Socrates: To do is to be...<br />Sinatra: do be, do be, do...

2015-05-25T17:21:41-04:00 2015-05-25T17:21:41-04:00 MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca 694919

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>This goes back to grade school: Spell "icup"

2015-05-25T17:23:28-04:00 2015-05-25T17:23:28-04:00 SSG John Erny 696928

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>It was so cold the fish closed school.

2015-05-26T15:09:33-04:00 2015-05-26T15:09:33-04:00 MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca 722561

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>When math teachers grow plants, how come they look so boxy?<br /><br />Because they all have square roots.<br /><br />Cha-cha-cha!!!!

2015-06-04T12:19:36-04:00 2015-06-04T12:19:36-04:00 SFC Private RallyPoint Member 1089281

<div class="images-v2-count-1"><div class="content-picture image-v2-number-1" id="image-66921"> <div class="social_icons social-buttons-on-image"> <a href='https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.rallypoint.com%2Fanswers%2Fbad-jokes-who-s-got-them%3Futm_source%3DFacebook%26utm_medium%3Dorganic%26utm_campaign%3DShare%20to%20facebook' target="_blank" class='social-share-button facebook-share-button'><i class="fa fa-facebook-f"></i></a> <a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Bad+Jokes...Who%27s+got+them%3F&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.rallypoint.com%2Fanswers%2Fbad-jokes-who-s-got-them&amp;via=RallyPoint" target="_blank" class="social-share-button twitter-custom-share-button"><i class="fa fa-twitter"></i></a> <a href="mailto:?subject=Check this out on RallyPoint!&body=Hi, I thought you would find this interesting:%0D%0ABad Jokes...Who&#39;s got them?%0D%0A %0D%0AHere is the link: https://www.rallypoint.com/answers/bad-jokes-who-s-got-them" target="_blank" class="social-share-button email-share-button"><i class="fa fa-envelope"></i></a> </div> <a class="fancybox" rel="94c98d9c4a2859492109a539fe472d7a" href="https://d1ndsj6b8hkqu9.cloudfront.net/pictures/images/000/066/921/for_gallery_v2/6f7b8718.jpg"><img src="https://d1ndsj6b8hkqu9.cloudfront.net/pictures/images/000/066/921/large_v3/6f7b8718.jpg" alt="6f7b8718" /></a></div></div>

2015-11-05T06:07:04-05:00 2015-11-05T06:07:04-05:00 PFC Joseph Cuschieri 7180330

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>A weakling goes into a fitness center and asked a trainer, &quot;which machine do I have to use that will make the chick&#39;s crazy for me?&quot;<br /><br />The trainer takes no time to think but simply points to the corner by the juice bar, &quot;the ATM machine is over there.&quot;

2021-08-13T15:38:02-04:00 2021-08-13T15:38:02-04:00 PFC Joseph Cuschieri 7180332

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>What&#39;s black and white and sits in a tree?<br /><br />A nun with a machine gun

2021-08-13T15:38:56-04:00 2021-08-13T15:38:56-04:00 PFC Joseph Cuschieri 7180335

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>How do you get your kid from a tree? Rocks.

2021-08-13T15:40:29-04:00 2021-08-13T15:40:29-04:00 PFC Joseph Cuschieri 7180343

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>What&#39;s the fastest animal in the world? <br /><br />Nope! Not a cheetah <br /><br />A chicken running through Ethiopia

2021-08-13T15:42:51-04:00 2021-08-13T15:42:51-04:00 PFC Joseph Cuschieri 7180348

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>An oldie but goody. <br /><br />What&#39;s black and white and red all over?<br /><br />Give up? A newspaper? Nope!<br /><br />A dead nun with a machine gun

2021-08-13T15:44:33-04:00 2021-08-13T15:44:33-04:00 PFC Joseph Cuschieri 7180356

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>After the Space Shuttle Challenger was destroyed on takeoff, how did NASA figure out what shampoo astronauts used? <br /><br />The found Head and Shoulders floating up on shore.

2021-08-13T15:47:24-04:00 2021-08-13T15:47:24-04:00 PFC Joseph Cuschieri 7180358

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>What does NASA stand for? <br />Need<br />Another <br />Seven <br />Astronauts

2021-08-13T15:48:24-04:00 2021-08-13T15:48:24-04:00 PFC Joseph Cuschieri 7180361

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>What&#39;s grosser than ten babies in 10 trashcans?<br /><br />One baby in 10 trashcans.

2021-08-13T15:49:46-04:00 2021-08-13T15:49:46-04:00 PFC Joseph Cuschieri 7180366

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>How can you tell if you get a letter from a Semolian pen pal?<br /><br />The tonge is on the seal.

2021-08-13T15:51:44-04:00 2021-08-13T15:51:44-04:00 PFC Joseph Cuschieri 7180374

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>What were SS Colombia&#39;s captains last words on atmospheric reentry before the disaster? <br /><br />What&#39;s this button do?

2021-08-13T15:53:35-04:00 2021-08-13T15:53:35-04:00 2015-05-22T09:19:05-04:00