Aside from the usual "did you kill someone?", what is the dumbest thing a civilian ever asked you about your service?

2016-09-01T12:47:04-04:00

A student at the college where I now work once asked me: "How can you be a Veteran? You're not even old."

Response by PO2 Kristy Williams made Sep 1 at 2016 12:48 PM

2016-09-01T12:48:29-04:00

So does everyone have to shower together in bootcamp because I heard they did, like guys and girls together..... That's hot.

I just rolled my eyes and walked away.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 1 at 2016 1:01 PM

2016-09-01T13:01:18-04:00

When people find out I was in Iraq, people would ask me "Is it hot over there?"

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 1 at 2016 1:16 PM

2016-09-01T13:16:02-04:00

Hi, Corporal Slaughter.

"What kind of plane did you fly?" Because, you know, everyone in the Air Force flies.

Response by SGT David T. made Sep 1 at 2016 1:26 PM

2016-09-01T13:26:20-04:00

"Do you get to come home from Iraq every night?" lol

Response by Cpl George Crab made Sep 1 at 2016 1:31 PM

2016-09-01T13:31:00-04:00

How many recruits did you kill, while you were a Drill Instructor?

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 1 at 2016 2:17 PM

2016-09-01T14:17:50-04:00

CPL Anthony Slaughter I was discharged in 1972, and started college along with working. My classmates at college could not believe that I volunteered to join the military. They thought that only a crazy person would do that. I had the last laugh, because a lot of my classmates dropped out, while I obtained my degree.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 1 at 2016 2:36 PM

2016-09-01T14:36:45-04:00

oh yeah one day I was in uniform and this teenager says " are you in the army" !!! I was like WHAT ???

Response by SrA Matthew Knight made Sep 1 at 2016 2:59 PM

2016-09-01T14:59:53-04:00

The first was while I was at Tech School. Went to a dealership to look at a car and was explaining to the guy that I was new in the Air Force and was at Keesler to learn how to forecast weather. He immediately asked me what the weather was going to be like. After explaining that I didn't know because I was still only training he seemed genuinely offended at disgusted.

I have also got the common, "You're in the Air Force? Cool, what plane do you fly?"

Response by SN Greg Wright made Sep 1 at 2016 3:18 PM

2016-09-01T15:18:17-04:00

I had a guy ask me once, "So what's Army life, like."
"Uh...I dunno. You'll have to ask someone in the Army." I was wearing my crackerjacks.

Now, older, greyer, and fatter, I occasionally get, "You can't be a vet, you're too fat!" or something along those lines.

Response by Maj Marty Hogan made Sep 1 at 2016 3:19 PM

2016-09-01T15:19:34-04:00

It is not a question, but when someone always tells me "I was going to join, but..." I always nod politely. As a marathon runner I hear the same thing- I used to run...how long is a marathon?

Response by SFC George Smith made Sep 1 at 2016 3:28 PM

2016-09-01T15:28:00-04:00

..." How can you listen to someone who cant run their own life ... How can you let idiots like that run yours... "
It was little more than a Mis quote from a Buffalo Springfield song... But I concidered the Source and simply said... "Your Welcome... "
as "she" asked..." for what ?"...
"Your freedom ... "
as i caught the Flight from LAX to Okinawa...

Response by SSG Drew Cook made Sep 1 at 2016 3:28 PM

2016-09-01T15:28:28-04:00

I walked through ATL enroute to RR during my 2nd Iraq deployment. An older woman came up to me while at the bag claim thanking me for my service and asking me if I knew her nephew, who was in the Navy in Iraq. I looked at her and said "nope", but I wanted to say "sure lady, I know all 150,000 servicemembers there, but I'm sorry, I don't know your nephew."

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 1 at 2016 4:03 PM

2016-09-01T16:03:49-04:00

Do you have PTSD? Students say this when they find out I am a veteran.

Response by PO3 Donald Murphy made Sep 1 at 2016 5:18 PM

2016-09-01T17:18:53-04:00

"How do you guys get mail on a submarine?" I then tell them we have a "mail buoy in the ocean that we pull up under and collect our mail." When I get to the part of the story where the mermaids sort the packages they normally then realize that they've been made fun of.

Taking family and friends onboard is even funnier as they start looking for windows and also those wide passageways they see in the movies where sailors are walking side-by-side.

Response by SP5 Joel O'Brien made Sep 1 at 2016 5:28 PM

2016-09-01T17:28:02-04:00

"You're in the Army?! You don't look like the military type!"

Response by SGT Mark Sullivan made Sep 1 at 2016 6:05 PM

2016-09-01T18:05:34-04:00

I find it amazing the amount of stupid questions I get on campus. And you can tell they get their information from ex-hippy who thinks all veterans are trained killers. So, I have been asked, how I could go to a foreign land just to bomb and shoot people? My response is from a cadence call, "cause Napalm sticks to kids"

Response by PO1 Richard Cormier made Sep 1 at 2016 6:12 PM

2016-09-01T18:12:26-04:00

My favorite, from 1977.

Home on Liberty, in uniform. Fiance is big HS football fan. So I took her to the game. BIG MISTAKE for E3.

Two "young" ladies at game asked what my rank was. I told them "Seaman". They said don't give me that, I know what semen is!!!

I tried so hard not to laugh at the situation.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 1 at 2016 6:13 PM

2016-09-01T18:13:03-04:00

I've been told repeatedly (as a recruiter) that we all come back from deployments psychologically and emotionally scarred

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 1 at 2016 6:15 PM

2016-09-01T18:15:46-04:00

Another good one is "couldn't afford college?" Or couldn't make it in real life?
These are the people with absolutely no clue how difficult it actually is to qualify for service

Response by PFC Pamala (Hall) Foster made Sep 1 at 2016 6:59 PM

2016-09-01T18:59:28-04:00

I was in uniform and a little boy asked me if I was a" 'for real GI JOE and where was Duke?'" Me and another Spc told him and his classmates that I left them on base and the ladies took off to meet the President and Senators. Talk about the little girls laughing and all of them wanted to enlist at 8 yrs of age-made me smile the rest of the day while touring DC with WW2 and Korean Vets

Response by CW4 Angel C. made Sep 1 at 2016 8:40 PM

2016-09-01T20:40:54-04:00

This is no lie. I introduced myself as "Chief" Cruz to an American civilian in LSA Anaconda, Iraq and he said: "what tribe? I'm a 1/4 (certain tribe)". So me thinking he was pulling my leg said: "from the (my unit) tribe" then, serious as a heart attack he said: "I never heard of it". Once I realized he wasn't playing I had to explain the whole Army Chief thing. But he still gave me like 15 HMMWV GPKs (without a trace) which my CLP guys badly needed up in Mosul.

Response by PO2 Kristy Williams made Sep 1 at 2016 8:50 PM

2016-09-01T20:50:40-04:00

Also I get "don't you get combat training? I don't want you kicking my butt". And I stand there shaking my head. Only combat training I have is combating a shipboard fire and throwing a punch... The latter thanks to my brothers being rough while I was young. Lol

Response by CPT Jim Schwebach made Sep 1 at 2016 10:25 PM

2016-09-01T22:25:00-04:00

My truck has Purple Heart plates, people at car shows would ask "Where did you get shot?" My standard answer is "Southeast Asia."

Response by A1C Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 2 at 2016 4:08 AM

2016-09-02T04:08:24-04:00

EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE AIR FORCE FLIES A PLANE.

Response by SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 2 at 2016 5:30 AM

2016-09-02T05:30:12-04:00

I was "too stupid for college"... I laugh because now it's nearly free for me, I won't have to worry paying for a debt that has no equity behind it... Also, I will be getting these professional certifications paid for... I've had that remark once and I just explained to them the benefits of joining and I think they are actually considering enlisting... Haha

Response by SFC William A. McCoy made Sep 2 at 2016 7:10 AM

2016-09-02T07:10:24-04:00

One asked me if I was in the war and I said yes, then they asked, seriously with a straight face, "the civil war?" (It was a child).

Response by SFC J Fullerton made Sep 2 at 2016 9:49 AM

2016-09-02T09:49:28-04:00

1. Do you get paid?
2. Are your ever allowed to leave the base?
3. Do you miss wearing regular clothes?
4. How can you stand being yelled at all the time?
5. How long does it take to be a General?

Response by SGT Mitch McKinley made Sep 2 at 2016 2:27 PM

2016-09-02T14:27:26-04:00

Once while I was in uniform, ordering at a fast food restaurant, the guy behind the counter (in his Burger King uniform) looked at me and said "I could never join the Army. No way I could wear the same uniform to work everyday, and look like everyone else."

Response by SPC Elijah J. Henry, MBA made Sep 2 at 2016 5:35 PM

2016-09-02T17:35:55-04:00

When I tell them I'm in the Army and they ask me which branch...

Response by 1SG James A. "Bud" Parker made Sep 2 at 2016 8:21 PM

2016-09-02T20:21:58-04:00

Sometimes it is difficult to answer questions in the normal fashion. I was a door gunner in an Air Cav unit in Vietnam. When I arrived back Stateside I diverted through San Francisco to check on a pilot I had extracted from a Huey crash along the Mekong River one night a week earlier (long story). He was in bad shape at Letterman Hospital. As I returned to the SF, CA airport to catch my flight home a group of West Coast young citizens were protesting the war in one of the hallways. They asked me how I could kill innocent women and children.

I simply ignored them and they found what they were looking for; a returning soldier in uniform to harass. I excused myself saying I had a flight to catch. Of course it turned into calling me an (explicative deleted) Baby Killer and other things. When this one loud mouth couldn't get my goat he spit on me. I dropped my duffle bag and explained in actions how naughty he had been. The uppercut to his chin expressed my displeasure. He laid down on the concourse to take a nap. The other 20 or so protesters seemed to take that for an answer.

Response by SGM Mikel Dawson made Sep 2 at 2016 8:43 PM

2016-09-02T20:43:05-04:00

Keep in mind my career was Army Reserve:
This gal I was seeing once wanted to go to some event which happened to fall on my drill weekend and I told her I couldn't go because of it. She said, "Can't you just call in sick or something?" I replied: "It is a job just like any other job. If it wasn't for guys like me doing a job like this, people like you wouldn't have the right to bitch about it."
We didn't go out too many times after that.

Response by SGT Tim Soyars made Sep 2 at 2016 11:15 PM

2016-09-02T23:15:19-04:00

Her (In a smartass tone): "Did you ever kill any babies?"
Me (In an quiet and equally smartass tone): "Only as many as I can eat at once."

Response by ENS Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 3 at 2016 4:47 PM

2016-09-03T16:47:54-04:00

"Don't only dumb people join the military?" or "What are the chances I will die if I joined?"

Response by SSG (ret) William Martin made Sep 3 at 2016 5:18 PM

2016-09-03T17:18:47-04:00

CPL Anthony Slaughter A silly civilian once asked me how can I be a veteran if I'm in the military. My response was that I was out of the military from 04" to 07". I could have been a rude prick by asking if she knew the hell she was talking about but I remained really polite.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 5 at 2016 7:36 PM

2016-09-05T19:36:38-04:00

People think I know Generals. Or when Russia does something fucky that I know the plan or what we're gonna do. Have you ever killed anybody?

I explain that I'm legal, and then it's something like the military does stuff besides kill people and blow stuff up?

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 5 at 2016 8:42 PM

2016-09-05T20:42:27-04:00

Constantly get asked what will happen if we go to war with Korea... yeah hang on lemme call SecDef we are drinking buddies from back in the day

Response by Jordan Gaudard made Sep 5 at 2016 9:59 PM

2016-09-05T21:59:12-04:00

I volunteered at a middle school every Wednesday to help them with school work, sporting events and other activities. I expected a lot of dumb questions from them because they won't listen to the , "Don't ask if he killed someone" speech.
The most common question is, do you know my Dad, he was in the Army. I always ask what their name is, because I feel it would be rude to just flat out say no. The answer I get is usually, "Dad" or "Papa"
One of the best things I've heard quite a bit was, "I want to join the Army, but I'm not brave" From middle school kids

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 5 at 2016 11:45 PM

2016-09-05T23:45:45-04:00

I was asked if we can use the "bathroom" whenever we need to or do we all go at scheduled times. Also went home after basic and a friend of mine kept apologizing after saying anything he thought would offend me because according to him I knew "that sh*t" and could easily kill him with my bare hands.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 6 at 2016 8:19 AM

2016-09-06T08:19:47-04:00

Guy - You're in the Air Force? What plane do you fly?

Me - B-50Desk

Guy - *looks slightly confused*

Me - It's still in test phase.

Response by Maj Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 6 at 2016 9:31 AM

2016-09-06T09:31:08-04:00

Guy: are you in the military?
Me: yes, Air Force
Guy: really? The Puerto Rican Air Force
Me: why do you ask?
Guy: i dunno. I guess i'm a retard
Me: agree (and I walk away)

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 6 at 2016 9:42 AM

2016-09-06T09:42:01-04:00

When you say you are in the Air Force and they ask me what plane I fly.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 6 at 2016 7:33 PM

2016-09-06T19:33:09-04:00

Guy: Are there really aliens......
Me: yes
Guy: I knew it
(Told me he wanted to join the military)
Me: blank, stupid long stare
Me: don't join the military, walked away

Response by GySgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 7 at 2016 8:23 AM

2016-09-07T08:23:22-04:00

my favorite is "you just got back from the middle east, did you get shot at?"
me- "no, we were hanging out with all of the cool terrorists that don't like violence and use water balloons to settle disputes......."

another personal favorite is "yea I was in the Marines once. I didn't like it so I left."
as if i'm to stupid to know that this isn't exactly how it works.

all time favorite "where can I get a set of those dress blues"
me- "you can f***ing earn them like every other Marine has to do......"

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 7 at 2016 3:57 PM

2016-09-07T15:57:17-04:00

Have you been overseas lmao

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 7 at 2016 3:58 PM

2016-09-07T15:58:50-04:00

Have you been to Iraq or Afghanistan ?

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 7 at 2016 3:59 PM

2016-09-07T15:59:16-04:00

What was it like over there ? Lol smh

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 7 at 2016 4:11 PM

2016-09-07T16:11:29-04:00

I had one ask me once if I was still able to look my children in the face, knowing that I kill innocent women and children. I am ashamed to say, that got the better of me. And his missing tooth (hopefully) will remind him not to ask stupid questions.

Response by PO2 Michael Nutto made Sep 7 at 2016 5:40 PM

2016-09-07T17:40:53-04:00

While wearing my flight jacket out one evening, I was asked how much I paid for the jacket?

My answer was simple, "Eight years of my life."

Response by MSgt Anthony Youngblood made Sep 8 at 2016 1:00 PM

2016-09-08T13:00:11-04:00

When people find out I flew in the Air Force, they always ask me if I was a pilot. My standard answer "No, they wouldn't let me be a pilot, my parents were married and not related."

Response by MAJ Michele Bretz made Sep 8 at 2016 8:50 PM

2016-09-08T20:50:58-04:00

At an interview I was asked, "what is the difference between being in the military and being a civilian?" I replied, "If there was someone who needed to get a lift somewhere...the military troops would ask where are we going and when do you need to be there.....the civilian would ask what is in it for me and what are the risks and costs involved?"

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 8 at 2016 9:04 PM

2016-09-08T21:04:04-04:00

How can you be a veteran? You're not even old.

I had 4 years service completed at age 21.

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Dec 22 at 2016 3:10 PM

2016-12-22T15:10:44-05:00

What was the rest of your service like after all the baby killing in Vietnam?

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 22 at 2016 5:04 PM

2016-12-22T17:04:21-05:00

Do you know my friend Jeff? He's in the Army, too.

Response by SFC Dennis A. made Dec 22 at 2016 5:27 PM

2016-12-22T17:27:23-05:00

My favorite is "you retired from the Army, why are you still working?"

Response by GySgt Melissa Gravila made Dec 22 at 2016 6:47 PM

2016-12-22T18:47:56-05:00

I actually had a man come up to me and say "Tell your husband thank you for his service" (I have a USMC veteran tag on my car, and a Woman Marines decal right next to it). My response was " We BOTH say you are welcome, even though he did 4 years and I did 16. By the way, we can even wear shoes and vote now too." Jeff constantly gets the handshakes even when I'm decked out in veteran clothing- damn guys, it's 2016!

Response by GySgt Melissa Gravila made Dec 22 at 2016 6:59 PM

2016-12-22T18:59:38-05:00

We had some high school girl selling magazine subscriptions door to door a few years ago, she and I started talking and she told me she was an aspiring model. She said she wanted to go into the military but her parents said no Cuz she was too pretty. I said I wanted to be a model when I was younger but my parents said no Cuz I was too smart.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 23 at 2016 6:36 AM

2016-12-23T06:36:33-05:00

It was right after tiger cruise, I had duty, and some guy was showing his family around. The ship had ordered pizza for those of us on duty who couldn't leave the ship for better food. The guys mom approached me...

Mom seeing me getting some pizza - Do you guys get pizza delivered a lot when your are on deployment?

Me - Yes ma'am, but the under 30 minutes or it's free doesn't apply to us.

Her husband laughed his ass off

Response by LTC James McElreath made Jun 21 at 2018 7:54 PM

2018-06-21T19:54:40-04:00

Unfortunately I had been in a shooting early on in my police career and to this day I wish it had not happened. But if asked just be honest and not boastful or the person asking will believe you to be a psycho or moron without sympathy.

Response by CW3 Kevin Storm made Jun 22 at 2018 3:16 PM

2018-06-22T15:16:00-04:00

A student at the college where I now work once asked me: "How can you be a Veteran? You're not even old." To which I would of had a ton of responses, starting with the most sarcastic one I could think of: "your mother didn't seem to mind son!" (I know it isn't PC enough for todays snow flakes).

I did get asked a few years ago "how many babies I killed (There are a lot of code pinks and code pink wanna bee's in the SF Bay Area)." My response was: "after the first one the rest are just a blur, I lost count. Still will wanna play?" Suffice after she got through reeling her little smug face, into a look of horror. "The actual number was zero kid, and I aided in getting some 50,000 school supplies from the states to the FOB I was in Iraq, to help rebuild those schools." I then want on to explain to her misconceptions weren't valid and don't judge people based on appearance. Her mother scolded her when she when they left the store, in a way only an Asian Tiger Mom can.

Response by SSgt Bruce McClelland made Aug 6 at 2018 6:50 PM

2018-08-06T18:50:54-04:00

Besides getting the standard "Were you a pilot?" and "Did you know so and so? He is/was in the Air Force?", I got a good one from my own wife. A few years ago we were at the airport and we were by a soldier with a duffel bag that said he was EOD. I told her what that was and she asked me if he might be carrying any explosive stuff. I told her no and that possibly he might be carrying some of the tools he used but nothing explosive. I bit my tongue and didn't say, "Oh yeah, they let him carry stuff that can blow up the plane and kill everyone on it!"

Response by SGT Jonathan Persons made Jan 12 at 2022 11:25 PM

2022-01-12T23:25:10-05:00

Are drill sgts really allowed to hit you?