As a leader, which is more important, being liked or respected?

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 14:06:24 -0400

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 26 at 2017 2:08 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 14:08:33 -0400

Respected. Always. Your troops/employees may not like you, but that doesn't mean they won't respect you. Many times, respect turns into Like, but it very rarely goes the other way.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 26 at 2017 2:08 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 14:08:43 -0400

Respected.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 26 at 2017 2:10 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 14:10:00 -0400

Definitely agree!

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 26 at 2017 2:29 PM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 14:29:55 -0400

Respected, I would tell my senior enlisted leaders "This is not a popularity contest"

Response by CPT Lawrence Cable made Apr 26 at 2017 2:39 PM

CPT Lawrence Cable — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 14:39:13 -0400

Respected. If I wanted people to love me, I would have joined the Peace Corp.
That doesn't mean you have to be a prick every day either. Just do for your troops would you would expect if you were in their position.

Response by Monica Schmidt made Apr 26 at 2017 3:15 PM

Monica Schmidt — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 15:15:06 -0400

Respected

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 26 at 2017 3:27 PM

CW2 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 15:27:26 -0400

There's leadership then there's likership. You choose which one you would rather lead by.

Response by Cpl Justin Goolsby made Apr 26 at 2017 3:54 PM

Cpl Justin Goolsby — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 15:54:37 -0400

Being respected. Being liked is fine, but it won't amount to anything on the day you have to deliver some bad news to someone. With respect though, they know it's not personal and some things are out of our hands.

Response by Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth made Apr 26 at 2017 4:59 PM

Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 16:59:27 -0400

I didn't care if they liked me or not...I was not in a position to be liked or to be their friend. I am the commander or the direct supervisor in a leadership role. They will, however, respect the position...People should always respect the position because of the rank, grade, or responsibility it holds and the trust other leadership has placed in whoever to hold that position. Now with that being said...personal respect is earned. Praise in public, discipline in private...to paraphrase other threads ...take care of the people and the mission will take care of itself.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 26 at 2017 7:40 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 19:40:58 -0400

Respected. If you're doing your job as a leader right the soldiers will both like and respect you.

Response by SFC Everett Oliver made Apr 26 at 2017 8:37 PM

SFC Everett Oliver — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 20:37:47 -0400

I never cared if my troops liked me. Though those I'm in contact with me now say they did. But I like to think I earned their respect....

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 26 at 2017 9:08 PM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 21:08:08 -0400

SSG Private RallyPoint Member If you work hard, take care of your men, and lead by example, you should earn respect. Some of your men will like you, but some will not. As a leader, your job is to lead your men and accomplish the mission.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 26 at 2017 9:37 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 21:37:39 -0400

Respected. Even if I don't always like my leaders I should still be able to have a measure of respect for them. When they lose that respect, what's to like?

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made Apr 26 at 2017 9:40 PM

PO1 William "Chip" Nagel — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 21:40:28 -0400

On some levels their is Little Difference, Rarely if Ever do I respect someone I don't Like.

Response by CPT Jacob Swartout made Apr 27 at 2017 12:36 AM

CPT Jacob Swartout — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 00:36:59 -0400

It will always be respect in my book.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 27 at 2017 8:14 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 08:14:05 -0400

Being respected! Its not your job to be liked, however the best leaders are not recognized by their Troops until long after they are gone for the most part. I have always had more respect and admiration for my hard noised NCO's who actually trained me to the standards and left feeling out of the equation. I may not have known it at the time, but as I moved up I always seemed to remember their style.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 27 at 2017 8:18 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 08:18:46 -0400

Soldiers like leaders they respect.
You will find that the converse is much less likely to be true.

Response by Col Joseph Lenertz made Apr 27 at 2017 8:23 AM

Col Joseph Lenertz — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 08:23:29 -0400

Respect, hands down. But respect does not mean feared. Your troops need to have absolute confidence in your competence and integrity. They need to be able to come to you when the news is really bad.

Response by PO2 Robert M. made Apr 27 at 2017 12:06 PM

PO2 Robert M. — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 12:06:14 -0400

SSG Private RallyPoint Member Sgt, in my humble opinion, RESPECT is the most important attribute. Will someone "charge" a hill because they "LIKE" you.....probably not. If they respect you, it would be safe to assume that they trust your judgement. ( maybe not the best scenario, but the one that "popped" into the ol' grey matter! )

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 27 at 2017 12:46 PM

CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 12:46:48 -0400

I have found that more often than not, if one is respected, one is liked. Although I agree with the majority of answers here that "being liked" is not in my job description.

Although it should be... As should "super cool". :) :)

Response by SCPO Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 27 at 2017 1:49 PM

SCPO Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 13:49:31 -0400

Being respected is paramount in a leader. It is indispensable in the battlefield environment, and that comes from being respected all the way back to basic levels of training. Being liked will surely follow in non-military situations. Case in point: there were officers on my ships who engendered my respect because of the way they respected me as a member of the Navigation Bridge team. They respected my abilities and they let me do my job. In turn, we worked cohesively, still mindful of the officer-enlisted relationship. Now, enter officers who demanded respect only through the gold on their epaulets. They were pompous, omnipotent, and infallible...so they thought. Though I gave them the same 100% effort I did for others, I did not respect them; I merely worked for them when our watches intersected. As for NCOs, I learned from the best NCOs ever. When there was work to do, these E5s and E6s did not sit around with coffee cups in their hands, barking orders. They grabbed a swab or stood in the supply party line passing stores along. They earned my respect, and never lost it.

Response by SFC Dennis A. made Apr 27 at 2017 2:15 PM

SFC Dennis A. — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 14:15:53 -0400

Respect, never have to be friends to be able to take care of, train or support the soldiers in my squad or platoon.

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made Apr 27 at 2017 2:53 PM

SGM Erik Marquez — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 14:53:59 -0400

Im not opposed to being liked, I prefer to be respected, I worked to earn respect, like comes or not I care little either way.
Its called Leadership, not likership

Response by SSG Randall Speck made Apr 27 at 2017 3:34 PM

SSG Randall Speck — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 15:34:55 -0400

Be respected! Be fair, and only as tough as needed to get the job done. Treat your subordinates as adults, don't degrade them, but treat them as their professionals. They'll respect you for that, and come to you for advice. There's a fine line you have to walk between friendship and leadership. I've always said, if you treat a someone like crap, that's what they'll be. If you treat them like they've got some skills, and can bring themselves up, they will. I hope this helps.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 27 at 2017 3:43 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 15:43:48 -0400

Once you earn your respect , you'll be liked.

Response by SGT Anna Kleinschmidt made Apr 27 at 2017 4:31 PM

SGT Anna Kleinschmidt — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 16:31:23 -0400

Respect is most important, leading by example is the best way to achieve both. I would never ask anyone to do something I was not willing to do myself. There were times I had to attend to other business but when time permitted getting in there and getting my hands dirty not only built respect but it built morale and likability. It also gave me a chance to learn about potential problems that needed to be dealt with before they became bigger issues like a soldiers financial problembs. Dealing with an issue like that while it's still manageable is much better for everyone involved.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 27 at 2017 8:07 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 20:07:39 -0400

SSG Private RallyPoint Member I joined to be a leader not be part of a popularity contest. People do things for people they respect. You can like others all you want but if you do not respect them you will not follow their orders. Part of the reason we separate officer/enlisted and have rules against fraternization.

Response by SSgt Gary Andrews made Apr 27 at 2017 10:25 PM

SSgt Gary Andrews — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 22:25:12 -0400

Here is what I found, not just in my military years, but also in my civilian career.......if you have "earned" respect, the like factor will follow closely behind. If you "demand" respect, you will not be liked. If you are not respected and liked, you will be obeyed, but only to the extent your subordinates have to.......if you are respected and liked, your subordinates will go the extra mile for you.......they will crash through brick walls if you ask them to. I recall a fellow manager in my department say the following: "if your employees don't hate your guts, you're not doing your job." I disagreed......telling him that if you are doing your job correctly, your employees will like you and bust their butts for you. I built a successful career based on that leadership philosophy.

Response by COL Charles Williams made Apr 27 at 2017 11:43 PM

COL Charles Williams — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 23:43:23 -0400

SSG Private RallyPoint Member I hope you are joking... Be a leader is never about being liked... Sure, we all (I am assuming) want to be liked. But, that is not why we do what do. We are respected by virtue of our rank and position. My hope was also to be respected for my skills, abilities and competence, and for caring... really actually caring. I did not worry about being liked.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 28 at 2017 12:37 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 00:37:32 -0400

Being respected.

Response by LT Brad McInnis made Apr 28 at 2017 1:20 AM

LT Brad McInnis — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 01:20:47 -0400

Respect. No contest.

Response by MGySgt James Forward made Apr 28 at 2017 5:35 PM

MGySgt James Forward — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 17:35:22 -0400

Respect is always first. Being liked will get folks killed when it gets time to rack n roll. Semper Fi.

Response by CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 30 at 2017 8:31 PM

CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 30 Dec 2017 20:31:55 -0500

Being Loyal, Faithful and Just to your men and women under Your Command. That’s Leadership 101!

Response by SFC Christopher Taggart made Dec 30 at 2017 10:18 PM

SFC Christopher Taggart — Sat, 30 Dec 2017 22:18:54 -0500

In the military, being respected is priority one. I think once a soldier becomes a SSG or above, he or she tends to be liked a lot less…even with their peers…at least that was my experience. The SSGs or SFCs in my circle never even knew my first name, not that I expected them to call me by my first name. The two civilian supervisors that I’ve had since leaving the military have allowed me to be comfortable with them, without losing the respect of their position. I still referred to them as “Mr. So-and-so” until they said otherwise.