Anyone know the difference between Conservative and Liberal ?

2016-09-12T12:20:40-04:00

Response by SGM Mikel Dawson made Sep 12 at 2016 12:21 PM

2016-09-12T12:21:27-04:00

Here's my response to my question:

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.

Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.

Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa.

These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals.

2. Conservatives.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were less skilled at hunting (called 'vegetarians' which was an early human word meaning 'bad hunter') learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men evolved into women. Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another Interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and community organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and to just piss-off more liberals.

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self, I'm going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks!

Response by CPT Jack Durish made Sep 12 at 2016 12:28 PM

2016-09-12T12:28:20-04:00

Sadly, I know the difference. I say "sadly" because it's frustrating to see such labels being misapplied. "Liberals" aren't liberal and "Conservative" has become a four-letter word. I am, for example, a liberal, but if I use that label I'm associated with the riff raff of politics. I'm also a conservative in that I seek to conserve the liberty that liberals have won. I doubt if any of this helps but why should you be any less confused than the rest of us?

Response by SGT David T. made Sep 12 at 2016 12:33 PM

2016-09-12T12:33:29-04:00

Very little in today's political climate. Both want control, just in different flavors.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 12 at 2016 1:22 PM

2016-09-12T13:22:47-04:00

Let the butt hurt begin.

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Sep 12 at 2016 1:46 PM

2016-09-12T13:46:12-04:00

They are very easy to identify. If you want to piss off a conservative, just lie to them. If you want to piss off a liberal, just tell them the truth. Bring on the down-voting.

Response by 1SG Frank Rocha made Sep 12 at 2016 2:11 PM

2016-09-12T14:11:36-04:00

Liberal: Big Government, less individual responsibility.
Conservative: Small Government, More individual responsibility.

Response by CDR Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 12 at 2016 3:00 PM

2016-09-12T15:00:43-04:00

"At times, it seems like the forces pulling us apart are stronger than the forces binding us together. Argument turns too easily into animosity. Disagreement escalates too quickly into dehumanization. Too often we judge other groups by their worst examples, while judging ourselves by our best intentions." -- George W Bush Dallas Texas July 12, 2016

I think that last sentence is pretty much spot on for this conversation. Each side has their good and bad attributes and each has people who do great things and people who do horrible things. Neither has a monopoly on good ideas and both can certainly cause a train wreck. They bring balance.

If you want a more simplistic answer then look at their actions, not their words. What is their highest priority and how do the treat people. The basic tenets of religion and humanity, how do they help others and how do they make the world a better place. What you see in congress and in society in general today are the extremes of each ideology and not a true representation of conservatism and liberalism.

Don't try to fit everyone into the same mold, you will only look like an dumb ass trying to fit a big dopey round long nosed creature into a square hole.

Response by Cpl George Crab made Sep 12 at 2016 6:38 PM

2016-09-12T18:38:01-04:00

Liberals drive Volkswagens, which lies to them about how great their mileage/pollution ratings are, who lecture Conservatives for driving their loud and obnoxiously cool pickups, who doesn't care about the what the Liberal is ranting at them about.

Naughty set of opposites, eh! ;)

Response by SFC George Smith made Sep 12 at 2016 8:52 PM

2016-09-12T20:52:06-04:00

i know the difference but the dust up would be really bad...