Anybody know where I can find a bucket of steam and bottle of bulkhead remover?

2014-10-24T13:03:00-04:00

Have you ever found yourself on mail buoy watch?

Ever been handed a kapok life vest and broom and told to fend off any monkeys that try to board during a Suez Canal transit?

How about being sent after the elusive ID10T that the chief needs right away?

I'd like to hear some of the other service gags run on the new guy. Let's hear em please!

Response by SGT Richard H. made Oct 24 at 2014 1:06 PM

2014-10-24T13:06:41-04:00

I've been sent after a box of grid squares....fortunately, I had been forewarned.

Response by COL Jason Smallfield, PMP, CFM, CM made Oct 24 at 2014 1:21 PM

2014-10-24T13:21:32-04:00

- Check an armored vehicle for soft spots with a hammer (tink, tink, tunk).
- Change out the winter air in a HMWWV tire for summer air.
- Shake a tree in the woods so you can see on a map where you are.
- Go snipe hunting.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 24 at 2014 1:32 PM

2014-10-24T13:32:49-04:00

I sent several airmen after a bucket of rotorwash and the ever popular 10 yards of flight line. Mail buoy was always fun too.

Response by CPT Chris Loomis made Oct 24 at 2014 2:57 PM

2014-10-24T14:57:08-04:00

1. Have some PVT take exhaust fluorocarbon samples from an HMMWV using a plastic garbage bag as part of PMCS and then have him deliver it to the 1SG who has the "test meter."

2. Send a PVT to the S-4 SGT to get the "FNG mount" for the NVDs.

3. Telling new PVTs to the unit that their PSG likes to be greeted with the acronym FODA.

....I spent some time as an Enlisted Soldier before going to OCS and getting my bar.... :)

How 'bout a thumbs up for the ol'LT?????

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 24 at 2014 3:16 PM

2014-10-24T15:16:02-04:00

Go tell SFC Smith you are looking for a PRC-E7 "Prick E7"

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 24 at 2014 4:17 PM

2014-10-24T16:17:21-04:00

I sent an LT looking to a blank adapter for an M-9 per an E-7 request I had an NSN for him as well just to keep it official. As a Spc I had an E-5 looking for a M-16 barrel shortener so I could make the M-16's in the unit M-4's.

Response by PO2 Rocky Kleeger made Oct 24 at 2014 4:36 PM

2014-10-24T16:36:16-04:00

I'm still looking for that portable pad eye

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 24 at 2014 6:26 PM

2014-10-24T18:26:45-04:00

We would always send the new guys for some K9P and blinker fluid.

Response by MAJ Dallas D. made Nov 3 at 2014 9:51 AM

2014-11-03T09:51:36-05:00

I have a couple:

We sent new Privates looking for Keys to the Drop Zone before a Jump.

Or how about telling them we have a new radio that has replaced the PRC-77 (Pronounced "Prick 77") and the 1SG has it in his office, it's called the PRC-E8 (Pronounced "Prick E8).
Let's just say that this NBC NCO and our Commo NCO had to do quite a few push ups for sending the poor little private looking for the Prick E8!

Yes it was worth it I was laughing the entire time and so was the 1SG.

Response by Sgt Robert Kelly made Nov 3 at 2014 10:05 AM

2014-11-03T10:05:19-05:00

Sent a lot of comm people to look for a BA-11-ONE. Only one marine come back with the right item from PX.

Response by SPC David S. made Nov 3 at 2014 10:11 AM

2014-11-03T10:11:28-05:00

Go ask top for a box of Army issued grid squares! Fun times.

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 3 at 2014 10:19 AM

2014-11-03T10:19:14-05:00

In boot camp we were instructed to report all sightings of submarines surfacing on the grinder. The grinder being the black top parade ground in front of the galley. I was never sure if this was a prank or just a way to know which kid was about to pass out!

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 3 at 2014 10:38 AM

2014-11-03T10:38:01-05:00

To make a bucket of steam you simple have to put dry ice in a bucket of water.

We tell the new guys to check the Armor on my Bradleys or we tell them to get on top and jump up and down to check the suspension.

Response by PO2 Steven Erickson made Nov 3 at 2014 10:38 AM

2014-11-03T10:38:12-05:00

In the submarine service, you could pretty much get a non-qual (not yet "qualified in submarines") to look for anything. Even if they suspected, they'd still go off 'cuz they wanted that signature!

As a nuke electrician, one of my favorites was to send a non-qual to the Forward IC-man and ask to see the copper magnet used in the navigation gyroscopes.

Another good one is to find the master battery for the sound-powered phones.

And the "mercury wrench" - it adjusts to whatever size bolt you need to work...

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 3 at 2014 11:05 AM

2014-11-03T11:05:59-05:00

1. Wing nut wrench
2. Head Light Fluid
3. Chem Light batteries
4. Box of Grid squares
5. Go to supply to be issued some Military Bearing
6. Hose-stretcher
7. Go get some "flight line" - Air Force gag

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 3 at 2014 11:55 AM

2014-11-03T11:55:21-05:00

Once while in processing a 'cruit through CBRN, had a buddy from supply open a chem light and pour contents into a paper cup. We "accidentally" knocked over the cup creating a"toxic agent spill". I threw on a mask, tossed him one of my stripped maintenance - status masks with no harness. Never seen anyone stuggle harder to figure out how to put it on.

I was a bad specialist.

Response by Cpl Shawn Hueter made Nov 3 at 2014 12:26 PM

2014-11-03T12:26:56-05:00

Go check the brake fluid on a 7-ton.

Get the keys to the HMMMV.

The best one was to go find the blinker fluid. So we came back with a box of Chem lights .

Response by SPC James Mcneil made Nov 3 at 2014 12:28 PM

2014-11-03T12:28:30-05:00

"Go talk to the 1SG about the PRC-E8 he has. It's the only one that still works."
"Go to S1 and turn in your ID10T form."
"Go to the hangar basement and grab some rotor wash for me."
"The greeting of the day for the commander is 'Sniper check.' He thinks it's hilarious."

Response by PO3 Thomas Perras made Nov 3 at 2014 12:41 PM

2014-11-03T12:41:01-05:00

As a Radioman PO3, I once sent a kid for a box of "Carriage Returns" and a "Sky Hook".

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 3 at 2014 1:05 PM

2014-11-03T13:05:13-05:00

Go to motor pool and get me a fallopian tube.

Go get a falacio form from your Drill SGT ( I love the reaction from this one).

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 3 at 2014 1:20 PM

2014-11-03T13:20:58-05:00

The fixed wing guys told me a little LOX in a pack of smokes was a good time too. Never saw it in person though.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 3 at 2014 1:51 PM

2014-11-03T13:51:05-05:00

ID10T grease for the radio handsets & battery contacts

Response by Sgt Jerrod Chadbourne made Nov 3 at 2014 2:05 PM

2014-11-03T14:05:40-05:00

E-tool qualification

The game is to get 5 or so boots together, in line. Have them kneel on the dirt, place a quarter on the ground in front of them, remove their covers, get blind folded, and hand them an E-tool (shovel).

You tell them that they have 60 seconds to attack the quarter with the E-tool (while blindfolded), whoever has the most nicks in the quarter gets out of firewatch.

The fun begins when the quarters are removed prior to the start and their covers are placed in front of them instead. 60 seconds of hacking away with a shovel at a cover does a lot of damage.

Sit back and enjoy as the 5 boots run around trying to find a servicable cover before someone "squares them away"

Response by CPT Jack Durish made Nov 3 at 2014 2:28 PM

2014-11-03T14:28:52-05:00

I have a bucket of steam that I'll gladly trade for a can of emery sparks and a coil of shore line

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 3 at 2014 6:10 PM

2014-11-03T18:10:07-05:00

I would love to help, but I am still on my life-long journey to find blinker fluid for my PLS. Why is everybody OUT? Is there a shortage?!

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 3 at 2014 6:37 PM

2014-11-03T18:37:57-05:00

I used to tell Nugits (NU Guys In Training) to go ask the gunny for a long stand. After about fifteen minutes he'd tell them that was long enough and to go away.

We'd also have people go find 3 yards of flight line and/or two bottles of headlight fluid

Response by PO1 John Pokrzywa made Nov 3 at 2014 6:45 PM

2014-11-03T18:45:09-05:00

My first tour I was an avionics tech, saw a guy get sent all over base for a power amplifier and some Fallopian tubes. It was so bad that a girl had mercy on him and finally told him.

As a crewman a great prank was to wait until passengers inevitably wanted to put on a gunner's belt and sit in the door of the helicopter. So, after they got nice and comfortable, yell that you're moving their anchor point to a new spot and not to move. (Never actually unhook them) Show them the loose end of one of the spare belts, and simultaneously yell "Sir, now!" over the ICS. The pilot then banks the helicopter, and the poor guy in the door flails wildly trying to grab something. (Not realizing they were still attached)
I've also heard of the "go get a pad-eye remover" joke backfiring. A new kids at a unit I was in disappeared after meeting sent for one of those, and apparently they exist. A few hours later he came back with a civilian from crane and rigging, with a giant crane setup for lifting entire concrete pads. Not a pretty situation.
There are others, of course.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 3 at 2014 7:53 PM

2014-11-03T19:53:36-05:00

Fresh out of AIT, I was told to go find a box of grid squares by my PSG. I went to supply and asked for an old map, some scissors, and a box. The Supply NCO, knowing full well what was going on, obliged and said "I hope it is worth the push-ups."

It so was.

We had a dude looking all over our FOB for a pole extender. It was pretty awesome.

Response by SP5 Michael Rathbun made Nov 3 at 2014 8:49 PM

2014-11-03T20:49:10-05:00

Somewhere out there a Signal PFC is still looking for that roll of order wire.

Response by SSG Jay OConnor made Nov 3 at 2014 10:42 PM

2014-11-03T22:42:48-05:00

No but I got a bottle of blinker fluid for your ship!

Response by SSG Jay OConnor made Nov 3 at 2014 10:50 PM

2014-11-03T22:50:10-05:00

Hey soldier, Go ask the Platoon Sergeant for the "in flight missile repairer"

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 3 at 2014 11:30 PM

2014-11-03T23:30:49-05:00

The bullhead remover is in shaft alley.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 3 at 2014 11:31 PM

2014-11-03T23:31:55-05:00

Not as funny as sending the freshest nub to maneuvering to blow the DCA.

Response by SGT Mark Sullivan made Nov 4 at 2014 12:15 AM

2014-11-04T00:15:49-05:00

I had one trooper sent for 100 yards of flight line, said he found it next to a box of Grid Squares, a barrel of Rotor Wash, the Chem light Batteries and an ASH Receiver. Sent him to see First Sergeant to locate an ID10T, to help sling load a B1RD. Can't leave out the Jesus Nut, always had to make sure that was tight, and safety wired

Response by SPC Nick Osborne made Nov 4 at 2014 7:52 AM

2014-11-04T07:52:03-05:00

They're right next to the grid squares and chow line.

the PRCE-8's are in the 1SG's office. They're high-dollar items.

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made Nov 4 at 2014 8:31 AM

2014-11-04T08:31:28-05:00

Yeah I knew it was BS but had to play along. Sent out for a bucket of BI's (Alternating Signal used to sync up the KW-26 Crypto Equipment).

Response by SPC Daniel Edwards made Nov 4 at 2014 9:06 AM

2014-11-04T09:06:07-05:00

A favorite from the artillery world: Hey, PVT, go get the keys to the gate to the impact zone before we go to the field.

Response by SSG Jason Cherry made Nov 4 at 2014 12:36 PM

2014-11-04T12:36:10-05:00

Box of grid squares, classic. Getting the LT to go fetch a roll of orderwire, for you commo guys haha... Exhaust samples in a trashbag... Getting the new 25U to ask our platoon sergeant to help him find a PRC-e7 lol

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 4 at 2014 12:49 PM

2014-11-04T12:49:00-05:00

Ooooh that reminds me, when I was at my MOS school at NAS Pensacola, our new Indocs would always show up in the middle of the night and be given their room keys. We used to tell them they needed to take their Mattress down to the Quarterdeck to be inspected. It was especially good when we'd get guys checking into rooms on the fourth deck.

Response by PO1 Autumn Sandeen made Nov 4 at 2014 4:19 PM

2014-11-04T16:19:02-05:00

This is a Navy twidget one: Saw an FC2 actually get an ensign take an ink-and-paper requisition to their department head for a repair part: a "fallopian tube."

Response by PO1 Autumn Sandeen made Nov 4 at 2014 4:33 PM

2014-11-04T16:33:28-05:00

Oh, I forgot my other creative favorite: a new Signalman striker was sent down to the ship's armory for "the smoking gun." My division's GMs were told by the newbie that the gun was the one used to fire smoke flares.

Response by SSG Ralph Innes made Nov 4 at 2014 4:56 PM

2014-11-04T16:56:56-05:00

Being artillery, we would tell the cherry that one of the guns was shooting outside the impact area so we had to mark our rounds. We would tell the cherry he would need to hold a grease pencil at the end of the tube so when the round exited the tube it would mark it for the forward observers. They would stand there hand damn near shaking off their arm. At the last second, we would tell them to get the hell out of the way.

Response by SP5 Michael Rathbun made Nov 4 at 2014 7:23 PM

2014-11-04T19:23:40-05:00

Those of us who were studying the MIL-STD-196 of the day were still trying to come up with a good use for the AN/ABB-42bT when all of us eventually DEROSed.

Back then, the middle "B" did not stand for "COMSEC", so the concept of having someone trying to find or requisition the Piloted Aircraft Pigeon Bombing apparatus model 42, rev 'b', (Training) was really appealing, but the OpPlan execution never happened.

It was the Nixon Draw-down, so we ran out of shavetails, I guess.

Response by SGT Phillip Price made Nov 4 at 2014 9:11 PM

2014-11-04T21:11:50-05:00

As a Sgt while laying underneath a HMMWV I had a private go to the motor Sgt and ask for a PRC E-8 to remove a PRC E-7 from its position.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Nov 4 at 2014 9:12 PM

2014-11-04T21:12:53-05:00

Right on the shelf to left of the chemlight batteries and a smidge over from the cans of squelch.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Nov 4 at 2014 9:14 PM

2014-11-04T21:14:20-05:00

SERIOUSLY, someone down voted this post??

Response by PO1 Mike Wolff made Nov 4 at 2014 9:57 PM

2014-11-04T21:57:14-05:00

Actually, bored nukes underway in the Engineering department on CGN-9 would concoct all sorts of rumors contrary to what the command was telling us, then 'plant' them and see how far up the chain of command they would go. Bonus points were awarded if the rumor was addressed by a spun up skipper at Captain's Call.

Response by CPL Rick Stasny made Nov 4 at 2014 10:02 PM

2014-11-04T22:02:01-05:00

One of my favorites, was to have a new Lt show up at our nuke site, and take them on a lock check in full gear. We would tell them that we had to take a fire extinguisher with us. The Lt would have one filled with water and ours would be empty. By the time we checked all the bunkers, they would be soaked in sweat. They did catch on pretty quick.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 5 at 2014 3:40 AM

2014-11-05T03:40:57-05:00

We used to send newbies to the kennels for a bottle of lubricant called K-9P

Response by 1LT William Clardy made Nov 5 at 2014 7:17 AM

2014-11-05T07:17:41-05:00

Am I the only one to send my camp OIC off to find the commo sergeant because we needed some fresh signal strength in the Ops center?

Response by SrA Ken Collins made Nov 5 at 2014 8:07 AM

2014-11-05T08:07:47-05:00

How about sending the new guy to the dog handlers for a bucket of K9P? Or telling a newbie to call Col. Sanders and giving them the phone number for the KFC just off base.

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Nov 5 at 2014 8:36 AM

2014-11-05T08:36:34-05:00

I spent many, many nights looking for these as a PVT, and NOW they are finally found? Can someone finally tell me where the Squelch Oil is?

Response by SGT John Turner made Nov 5 at 2014 9:27 AM

2014-11-05T09:27:22-05:00

AC Batteries for L.E.T.

Rotate tracks on the ITV.

Response by PO1 Jay Butler made Nov 5 at 2014 9:28 AM

2014-11-05T09:28:58-05:00

Go get Batteries for the chem lights

Response by CPL Ron Price made Nov 5 at 2014 10:50 AM

2014-11-05T10:50:52-05:00

AOPA Exhaust Sample
Tube of Squelch Grease
Spool of Flight Line
Bucket of Rotor Wash

Echo Check of a new engine (where the newbie screams "Echo" into the exhaust of a newly installed engine while we sit in the cockpit to see if we can hear it)

Pitot Tube Check (OH-58D(I)... for non-aviation it is a shaft of metal about waist high and roughly 8" in length) blow into the Pitot tube to check if it is working

ID10T forms

ones that have backfired:
Box of Grid Squares: got maps from supply and found a small cardboard box and a pair of scissors, proceeded to generate a box of grid squares

Response by PO1 Ron Clark made Nov 5 at 2014 12:59 PM

2014-11-05T12:59:44-05:00

Anybody know where I can find a bucket of steam and bottle of bulkhead remover? I'll help you look right after I pick up that relative bearing grease! Lol!

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 5 at 2014 1:36 PM

2014-11-05T13:36:56-05:00

i need you to go get an exhaust sample kit from the prc-e7 in supply, if they are out you can just use a trash bag to collect the sample.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 5 at 2014 1:41 PM

2014-11-05T13:41:54-05:00

Lol-

Folks you shouldn't vote someone down simply for attempting to be funny!

PO3 Sammuel Walters I need you to find me the PRC E-7 and the cannopy lights for tonights Airborne Operation. While you are at it pick me up a box of grid squares and some flight line wire!

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 5 at 2014 1:44 PM

2014-11-05T13:44:32-05:00

PO3 Private RallyPoint Member It disturbs me on so many levels, personally, professionall, sailorly...that I'm stunned. Your previous chain of command were remiss in not educating you in the esoterics of all things NAVY! I am ashamed .... so ashamed......

However, there is a silver lining to this cloud....I will be pleased to offer you the opportunities to gain personal experience and knowlege regarding these oh-so-important moments in your life.

Response by CPO Rick Felty made Nov 5 at 2014 2:10 PM

2014-11-05T14:10:35-05:00

Did you ever get to see that SEA BAT ? ? Lol

Response by PO3 JoseLuis Breton made Nov 5 at 2014 2:28 PM

2014-11-05T14:28:29-05:00

The Golden Rivet. LOL

Response by CPO Rick Felty made Nov 5 at 2014 2:30 PM

2014-11-05T14:30:47-05:00

I was. Sent from the Signal Bridge to the. Engine room looking for Monkey Shit to. Put in the electrical stuffing tubes. Lol

Response by SFC William Dinwiddie made Nov 5 at 2014 2:40 PM

2014-11-05T14:40:20-05:00

box of grid squares to extend map boundries is older than I am and I retired in 1998. a buddy of mine who was a paratrooper told me they sent the new guys to go hunting for canopy lights for night drops. or a can of track tension for apcs mech infantry.

Response by CSM David Heidke made Nov 5 at 2014 2:54 PM

2014-11-05T14:54:38-05:00

I got in trouble once because I told a private to tighten the turret on a HMMWV by climbing into it and turning it clockwise. After a few minutes of him turning, he said it wasn't tight, so I said "Oh, that's because its clockwise from the inside, not the outside. You're turning the wrong way."

I cringed when the 1SG walked up and asked him what he was doing.

Response by PO2 Dan Worthington made Nov 5 at 2014 5:18 PM

2014-11-05T17:18:23-05:00

When I was first stationed on Diego Garcia, the Harbor Ops crew told me there was a meeting in the sail loft before lunch. I showed up, they grabbed me, tied off a line around my ankles and hoisted me to the roof. They then tied off the line and went to lunch. I hung upside down by my ankles for 45 minutes, 20' off the ground, until they got back from lunch and lowered me.

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 5 at 2014 5:56 PM

2014-11-05T17:56:41-05:00

Ahh, the ingenuity of joes. Do you have any chemlight batteries?

The aviation among us will certainly have had a turn guarding the approach gate, as well as fetching prop/rotor wash and a spool of flight line.

Ever change the bearings on your muffler? That one about the improper headlight fluid damaging the blackout drive was awesome!

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 5 at 2014 6:07 PM

2014-11-05T18:07:10-05:00

1. I need some filiopian tubing, go to supply and ask for some.

2. We need a bag of air, heres a trashbag, come back when its full (watch as the new guy runs around with a bag over him)

3. Your boots are unserviceable, get them NDI'd (that shop, subsequently, tears apart their boots... only done in extreme cases)

4. We're testing the radar system, but we need someone to be in range. Hold this baking sheet over your head and walk back and forth in front of the plane til we tell you your done. (they look like vana white)

5. I need a roll of flight line!

6. If they leave their ID around, put a thin peace of tape over the chip... they can't log in, and the card looks good. Takes a while.

7. If they leave their shirt/jacket unattended for more than 1 day... zip ties, duct tape, and a freezer here it comes!

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 5 at 2014 6:08 PM

2014-11-05T18:08:42-05:00

Wrap a new guy in tin foil and have him "calibrate the radar" by running around and flaping him arms.

Response by PO1 John Coltrane made Nov 5 at 2014 6:11 PM

2014-11-05T18:11:33-05:00

I need a bucket of prop wash

Response by SN Bruce Cobb made Nov 5 at 2014 6:19 PM

2014-11-05T18:19:33-05:00

CG we sent the new guys after a DC punch, the DC1 always gave em one. or sent them on a quest for the key to the sea chest. or a piece of shore line

Response by SFC Vernon McNabb made Nov 5 at 2014 6:29 PM

2014-11-05T18:29:05-05:00

In aviation, we like to send the new guy for the following items:
1. 5 feet of flight line
2. chem light batteries
3. formation light liquid (a.k.a. chem lights)
4. metric adjustable wrench
5. left handed torque wrench
6. a gallon of rotor wash

I am sure there are more, but these are ones I have heard and used.

Response by PO3 Stephen West made Nov 5 at 2014 6:32 PM

2014-11-05T18:32:36-05:00

I know where you can find a BT punch, or a couple hundred feet od water line...

Response by SPC William Davis made Nov 5 at 2014 7:11 PM

2014-11-05T19:11:40-05:00

It is great fun when it is within the ranks, but in my first deployment, I had an O-1 platoon leader try to crank me and send me for a box of grid squares. So I took all the maps out of his kit, cut them into squares by lat/lon and gave them back to him. When confronted by the platoon sgt, he maintained a straight face, until I told him I thought the LT wanted to familiarize himself with the terrain by doing jigsaw puzzles. The CO made the LT tape all his maps back together after he heard that comment.... :) That LT was a rockstar at land nav after that....
some ones we pulled (we tended to have sharp people so we needed plausible or detailed stuff)
1) chem light refills: part of the new recycle efforts, should look like a bulky syringe with some powder in it. You stick it into the dead chemlight, suck out the fluid, and re-inject the refreshed fluid. You might have to shake them a little harder to get them to light up.... and yes, we made some and had supply in on it.
2) Squelch Oil: special oil for radio connections, reduces noise on the frequency
3) Check the track suspension by jumping on it (use a track gauge as a prop for measuring the vertical travel)
4) tell someone to loosen HMMV tire bolts in sequence (instead of the star/even pattern)... those last two bolts are almost impossible to get off (I bent 3 breaker bars and broke a wrench, and yeah, I figured it out about 2/3rd of way through, but I am stubborn and it was fun breaking stuff and watching them bet when I'd give up, no mechanic steered me wrong after that out of sheer terror that I would make whatever they said work anyhow)
5) related - Frequency grease: someone having radio problems, take off a couple connectors and exclaim how dry they are. "don't you have any frequency grease, that will fix your signal strength problems"... and "make sure when you order some, you get the right kind for HF (or whatever their radio type is)"

Response by PO3 John Day made Nov 5 at 2014 7:39 PM

2014-11-05T19:39:13-05:00

Right next to the sharpening stone for the pit sword, and the key to the stern gate. Oh,... And don't forget to get a BT punch on the way to the trunk.

Response by LTC Marcy Dupre made Nov 5 at 2014 8:04 PM

2014-11-05T20:04:47-05:00

Ever send a butterbar LT to Range Control to sign out the shot group wrench? Had to have it on the range to tighten up the shot groups...

Or how about sending the nosy SP4 to supply to get the rug adapter for the buffer? And pick up a few spools of Phase Line while he's there?

Response by CSM Michael Sweeney made Nov 5 at 2014 8:40 PM

2014-11-05T20:40:17-05:00

As a Cook School (AIT) instructor got a kick out of telling a right handed student who broke the yoke while turning an over easy egg that it was no wonder since they had a left handed food turner.

Response by CSM Michael Sweeney made Nov 5 at 2014 8:41 PM

2014-11-05T20:41:21-05:00

Once sent an AIT student to find a "Sky Hook" to hold open the dumpster lid.

Response by MSG John Melville made Nov 5 at 2014 9:14 PM

2014-11-05T21:14:14-05:00

We used to send a new private over to supply for a box of grid squares or a sky hook. We would also send them over to motor pool to fech a left handed monkey wrench.

Response by GySgt Travis G. made Nov 5 at 2014 9:26 PM

2014-11-05T21:26:51-05:00

Go borrow the propwash from Crash Fire Rescue and get this deck stripped.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 6 at 2014 1:42 AM

2014-11-06T01:42:39-05:00

i need one gallon of Rotor wash.

Response by Sgt Irvin Baker made Nov 6 at 2014 7:50 AM

2014-11-06T07:50:09-05:00

How about bringing back 100 ft of flight line or passing along the aircraft keys to your relief?

Response by MAJ Michael Scharff made Nov 6 at 2014 8:32 AM

2014-11-06T08:32:12-05:00

Or a canopy light... or keys to the drop zone.

Response by CW3 Guy Snodgrass made Nov 6 at 2014 8:40 AM

2014-11-06T08:40:01-05:00

When I was in construction we would be laying the roof and would place a piece of plywood that was a hair too short and tell one of the newbies to go get the "plywood stretcher" so we could make it fit.

Another old favorite was during an ARTEP we sent a new 2LT to supply to get a bottle of black out drive fluid.

Essayons! :)

Response by CSM Michael Lynch made Nov 6 at 2014 9:33 AM

2014-11-06T09:33:20-05:00

How about the road wheel pressure gauge or the roll of flight line or the radio squelch oil

Response by SGT Craig Northacker made Nov 6 at 2014 9:46 AM

2014-11-06T09:46:56-05:00

We used to have the cherries look for skyhooks and canopy lights. We also occasionally briefed the cherry 2LT's about jump courtesies for officers - they were the only ones allowed to use the forward doors on C-130's for jumps - it kept them separated from their men so they gain control more easily on the DZ.

Back in the 1960's and 70's there were some pretty nasty tricks - putting razor blades in the soap bars, taping them to the top shelf in lockers, and stashing some drugs behind someone else's locker or hub cap.

There the was the command to stand up and look for snipers, mines, etc. , and swapping maps with the 2LT's to see if they would notice.

And then there was the time...

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 6 at 2014 11:38 AM

2014-11-06T11:38:47-05:00

PO3 Private RallyPoint Member that's easy - Hazmat for steam and bulkhead remover, lol. That's where the guys told me to go every time they needed me to make a run for something. Next time, ask your boots to grab some flight line while they're at it.

Response by PO1 Thomas Warner made Nov 6 at 2014 11:42 AM

2014-11-06T11:42:14-05:00

Going through the Strait of Messina they had a young sailor dress up in full rubber gear with a wooden pole stand on the signal deck of the Theoeore Roosevelt CVN-71 in case the power lines going to Sicily were drooping too much.

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 6 at 2014 11:44 AM

2014-11-06T11:44:35-05:00

I've got one for you.

One day, one of our Lt's left a message for one of the new guys. On the post it, he wrote that Maj Storm called and left the number to weather. The new Lt. called the number looking for "Maj Storm." HILARIOUS!!

Response by SSG Ralph Innes made Nov 6 at 2014 12:17 PM

2014-11-06T12:17:36-05:00

We would do this one to the cherries that said they wouldn't get sick on a jump flight from the pilots flying nap of the earth. One of us would pour an mre, preferrably something like beef stew, in a barf bag and put it in our cargo pocket. While flying, the guy would act like he was getting sick and then fake puke in the bag. The guy next to him would grab it and pour the contents into his mouth. Guaranteed to make the cherry throw up.

Response by CPT Robert Stevens made Nov 6 at 2014 3:47 PM

2014-11-06T15:47:02-05:00

As a young PFC at Cherry Point in 1965, I was sent to the Station's supply warehouse to retrieve 50' of flight line and a sky hook to use in cleaning the Tower's windows. They then told me I had to draw it from the Crash Crew facility - and so on, for a couple of hours. I found out it was the standard initiation for all new ATCs.

Response by PO3 Brendan "Smitty" Smith made Nov 6 at 2014 5:30 PM

2014-11-06T17:30:42-05:00

We used to have the FNG pass around the EMHO report. Early Morning Hard On report. The responses by the ladies were epic. Gotta love a woman with a warped sense of humor.

Response by CPO Wayne Mertell made Nov 6 at 2014 8:18 PM

2014-11-06T20:18:16-05:00

BT Punch!

Response by PO1 Donald Kennelly made Nov 6 at 2014 8:37 PM

2014-11-06T20:37:01-05:00

How about some relative bearing grease or catching the elusive sea bat?

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 6 at 2014 10:50 PM

2014-11-06T22:50:12-05:00

They usually keep the buckets of steam in the POL storage next to the buckets of rotorwash.

I think the bottle of bulkhead remover would be with the blinker fluid and the chem light batteries.

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Nov 6 at 2014 10:58 PM

2014-11-06T22:58:36-05:00

Go order an A.S.H. Receiver in an OH-58A/C from the parts manual!

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Nov 6 at 2014 11:01 PM

2014-11-06T23:01:42-05:00

Go to the Supply room and get a borebrush adapter for the TOW missile.

Response by PO1 Pj Gabe made Nov 7 at 2014 1:43 AM

2014-11-07T01:43:35-05:00

Locate the crank and go lower the mast, the bridge in the harbor is not tall enough to get under.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 7 at 2014 1:47 AM

2014-11-07T01:47:55-05:00

At the same place you find the winter air!

Response by 1SG Michael Blount made Nov 7 at 2014 5:53 AM

2014-11-07T05:53:08-05:00

Same place you can find keys to the impact zone and a box of grid squares

Response by 1SG Michael Blount made Nov 7 at 2014 5:54 AM

2014-11-07T05:54:38-05:00

OH, while you're at it, would you mind bringing back a left handed deflection shifter?

Response by PFC Steve Joy made Nov 7 at 2014 11:31 AM

2014-11-07T11:31:41-05:00

ID10Ts need to be filled out before BA1100Ns can be issued....

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 7 at 2014 12:28 PM

2014-11-07T12:28:41-05:00

Go get me 10ft of flightline

Response by CPO Johnny Wesley made Nov 7 at 2014 12:29 PM

2014-11-07T12:29:23-05:00

Relative Bearing Grease and powdered H20 are good ones. Also, sending a nub to clean the baffles brings a good laugh to all involved. Never go seek a Machinist Punch.......

Response by SPC Calvin Gross made Nov 7 at 2014 2:31 PM

2014-11-07T14:31:59-05:00

Go ask supply for some grid squares. or a .203/320 BFA

Response by MSgt Dennis Dudley made Nov 7 at 2014 5:47 PM

2014-11-07T17:47:30-05:00

Bottle of focusing solution for a Nikon camera, or a box of f/stops for a Speed Graphic. Forgot about the Paper stretcher.

Response by PFC Edward Galt made Nov 7 at 2014 5:50 PM

2014-11-07T17:50:43-05:00

Sending the new radio operators out to find some gun line, a BA1100N AND some S-T RINGS.

Response by SGT Ray Williams made Nov 7 at 2014 6:03 PM

2014-11-07T18:03:48-05:00

Right next to the four feet of flight line in the motor pool. It's used to stitch up a torn CV boot.

Response by Sgt Tim Hurst made Nov 7 at 2014 6:28 PM

2014-11-07T18:28:05-05:00

Go to Supply and get a roll of flight line.
Armory needs Tracer Paint and Back Blast Bags.
S-3 needs a Map Board Stretcher.
Lt the Maj left his Jeep Keys on your desk. Where did they go ?

Response by SFC Boots Attaway made Nov 7 at 2014 6:48 PM

2014-11-07T18:48:31-05:00

Go get a box of grid squares, some riser/canopy lights and a case of military bearings. For those that were in the Old Guard 1-3 Inf a ceremonial sling stretcher ( CW5 Private RallyPoint Member ). LMAO

Response by CW2 Carl Swanson made Nov 7 at 2014 6:55 PM

2014-11-07T18:55:20-05:00

How about a 5 gallon can of camouflage paint..

Response by Maj Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 7 at 2014 6:56 PM

2014-11-07T18:56:38-05:00

Go to the vet clinic and see if they have any K9-P. Go to Medical Equipment Repair and ask for some Fallopian Tubes.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 7 at 2014 7:08 PM

2014-11-07T19:08:02-05:00

We have had people looking for chem-light batteries for a half hour

Response by SPC Darrin Tinsley made Nov 7 at 2014 7:20 PM

2014-11-07T19:20:38-05:00

Well it has been a few years for this old signal soldier, but I remember a few. Hopefully these will raise an eyebrow or two.

1 - Not sure if they are still the same, but old D-sized batteries were designated as BA-1100. It was always fun to send the new guys after B-A-1-1-0-0-N (s).

2 - Old line of sight microwave rigs had a voice box (or bitch box as we used to call it) that was used to help sight in the shots before they were dialed in. They were properly called the "order wire". Always entertaining to see a young soldier chasing all over the FTX site looking for a roll of order wire.

3 - I think I saw this one here already, but with Army acronyms come lots of opportunities. To send someone looking for T-R-double E (s) was always interesting!

Response by SGT Bob Westman made Nov 7 at 2014 7:34 PM

2014-11-07T19:34:06-05:00

I was aPvt2 in Germanyin the 547th Engineers. It was my first time doing PMCS on a 113. The squad thought it would be funny to play a joke on me. They told me to get some squelch oil from the motor Sgt. I came back 45minutes later. They were like asking me where I went. I told them the Sgt sent me to go see the 1st Sgt and while I was there CSM Wilson was there talking to the 1st Sgt and now CSM Wilson wants everyone in the squad to report to his office in Class A uniforms. I went to chow and they ran back to the barracks to get in there class A's.... The joke was on them because I made that story up... They never tried to screw with me again...

Response by SSG Heriberto Velazquez made Nov 7 at 2014 7:56 PM

2014-11-07T19:56:38-05:00

How about the chem light batteries or finding some rotor wash

Response by SN Jeff Parker made Nov 7 at 2014 8:19 PM

2014-11-07T20:19:29-05:00

There is always the relative bearing grease, or batteries for the sound powered phones. One of the older ones is get 50' of gig line.

Response by SGT Mark Benedict made Nov 7 at 2014 9:42 PM

2014-11-07T21:42:37-05:00

Looking for a 90 degree TR double E! I'm sure the Supply Sarge has some left over! He normally keeps them next to the inflatable flack vests.

Response by PO2 Jay Freeman made Nov 7 at 2014 9:45 PM

2014-11-07T21:45:51-05:00

Has anyone been able to find the mid-Atlantic telephone switchboard?

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 7 at 2014 9:50 PM

2014-11-07T21:50:16-05:00

Making a boot in the navy on his first ship to stand mail bouy watch on the bow.

Response by Sgt Charles Bennett made Nov 7 at 2014 9:53 PM

2014-11-07T21:53:23-05:00

Sent a 30 day wonder looking for a can of compression. He said that he saw three cans earlier in the day.

Response by SPC Mark Silva made Nov 7 at 2014 9:56 PM

2014-11-07T21:56:35-05:00

"Piston Return Springs" and "Muffler Main Bearings" was one's I loved using

Response by SSG Hank Ortega made Nov 7 at 2014 10:07 PM

2014-11-07T22:07:20-05:00

Canopy lights for night jumps, Can of prop blast, PLF lubricant.

Response by SPC Chad Price made Nov 7 at 2014 10:13 PM

2014-11-07T22:13:11-05:00

Help I need an ID-10T form filled out before I can Prop start this Apache so I can get an exhaust sample.

Response by CWO2 B. Sean Fairburn made Nov 7 at 2014 10:41 PM

2014-11-07T22:41:10-05:00

In the LAV community we had a LOT of gear on board that was often used to determin if the New crewmen had been paying attention in School of Infantry, Mechanic, or Communications.

1. Roll of Shoreline (to tie down the Antennas)
2. Tube of Frequency Grease (to lubricate the outbound transmissions)
3. A Box of Gridsquares ( for the sandtable briefs)
4. Check the 10, 30 and the 90 wt oil and check the "Spark plugs" (Engine is Diesel)
5. Digital Bull Prick (for the Ground modem) leading them to believe we will have cable internet in the field just by driving a spike in the ground. Then keep asking them why we don't have internet

It's all very believable if you sell it right. And its a great way to have them find the places aroud camp so when they really need something they don't waste time wandering around looking for where to go.

Response by PO2 Maxwell Jones made Nov 7 at 2014 10:55 PM

2014-11-07T22:55:25-05:00

So, this first one was for the most part an accident. We were running ORSE work-up drills and we had a new sonar tech on board. The Chief in Crews Mess sees a new kid that's a non warfare qualified 3rd class and assumes nuke, so out goes the order to get a portable air sample from outside the engine room. The kid, being on the boat for about a week, and 2nd day at sea grabs a trash bag and walks over and fills it with air, then walks back into Crew's Mess. He just stares at the chief for a second, and finally asks "Ok chief, what do you want me to do with it?" Most all of the nukes were dying laughing. The chief (TM) didn't know how to respond to this, he didn't know if the kid was joking, or really what even just happened. Our lead ELT stepped in and got the portable air sampler out, and showed the kid how the filter goes in, and showed him to make sure it's on the 0.3 cubic meter setting. The ELT then took the bag of air from the sonar tech and held it over the intake and started the machine (to demonstrate that a 33 gallon trash bag is not NEARLY large enough for 0.3 cubic meters). After the machine shut it'self off, and the bag was only about half deflated the ELT just looked a the TM chief in charge and pointed out that the new ST just took a better air sample than our emergency equipment did. Laughter resumed.

Other fun things to send new guys looking for:
I need about 4 feet of fal-oh-piean tube, go ask the ELT's if they have any.
Hey, go up to A-Gang and see if I can get a machinist punch from them.
We need to fatten up the shaft seals, go see if the cooks have any seal oil.
Decaf coffee (didn't have it on our boat)
Go see if A-Gang will let us borrow their left handed pipe wrench.
Go see if A-Gang has a left handed #2 Phillips screw driver we can borrow.
Go ask the torpedo men if we can borrow a left handed 11/16 socket, I know they have one...
See if you can get this thing to work (Hand a machinist a megger that's hooked to the hand rail they're sitting on and the sound mounted hydraulic pipe they're leaning on)

Response by PO1 Melvin Sanders made Nov 7 at 2014 11:08 PM

2014-11-07T23:08:33-05:00

Go get a Boatswains crank.

Response by CPL Corey Aldridge made Nov 7 at 2014 11:10 PM

2014-11-07T23:10:17-05:00

Of course they are right next to that box of grid squares and those bottles of liquid back blast

Response by SFC Kevin C. made Nov 7 at 2014 11:30 PM

2014-11-07T23:30:01-05:00

I'd heard most all of these. As a young SGT I sent my new pvt after a ST one, he returned from supply asking if I wanted a red or blue one.

The other old as hell one was sending the pvt after a TR double EE. So much fun.

Oh just remembered another, the early Hummves, would retain water in the turn signal housings, well that water had to be refilled from time to time.

Response by CW2 Jeff Eckard made Nov 7 at 2014 11:32 PM

2014-11-07T23:32:20-05:00

send a newbie across the entire airfield to ask another unit if he could have a full spool of flight line, and a half bucket of prop wash...

Response by SFC Josh Jackson made Nov 7 at 2014 11:41 PM

2014-11-07T23:41:51-05:00

I've sent new Privates in search of landing strip (two-person lift), fallopian tubing (not sold in stores), lithographic triptolipters (definitely not a thing), and self-regulating sphygmomanometers (actually a thing), and Bravo Alpha 1100 Novembers (also a thing).

I've made M109 operators check the shocks on their gun by jumping on it. Hint: You're not making that thing budge.

Having them look for soft spots in armor is fun, but I've learned the hard way that making them mark said soft spots with chalk will land you with the responsibility of cleaning it.

Response by PFC George Maxham made Nov 7 at 2014 11:49 PM

2014-11-07T23:49:09-05:00

My Team had Motor pool duty, as we were heading their we walked by a Private in a Bradly Turret spinning in circles. My Sergent stopped him and asked what he was doing, in which the private replied i was told to unscrew the turret and grease it. Whit out skipping a beat my Sergent looked at him and said " You Dumb ass your spinning it the wrong way" the Private thanked us and started to spin the turret the opposite direction.

Response by SSG Ricky Smith made Nov 8 at 2014 12:02 AM

2014-11-08T00:02:18-05:00

Pvt go to supply and pick up some ST-ONE's and a couple of cans of frequency grease.

Response by SN Keith Jarboe made Nov 8 at 2014 12:04 AM

2014-11-08T00:04:04-05:00

They got me with the ID10T forms but only after four tries that failed.

First try, they told me to go to AIMD and get a bucket of jet wash. I laughed and reminded them of what jet wash really is.

Second try, they tried to send me to do PMS (Planned Maintenance System) on the HiCaps in the #2 main machinery room. I asked for the PMS card and then asked why there were no HiCaps listed in 2MMR on the attached maintenance schedule.

Third try, I don't remember but I remember that the PO3 that tried ended up with a red face.

Fourth try, they tried to send me to 2MMR for a bucket full of steam. I went to the O2N2 plant instead and brought back a bucket with something like an inch and half of liquid nitrogen in the bottom. It was steaming furiously by the time I got back to my shop.

The fifth try was when they sent me to Personnel to fill out my ID10T forms, after I had already been called back to personnel twice because they forgot to have me fill out some forms that legitimately needed to be filled out when I first got to my ship.

Response by SPC Richard White made Nov 8 at 2014 12:12 AM

2014-11-08T00:12:12-05:00

I want an exhaust sample,a box of grid squares,check my tank for soft spots, oh there are so many I could go on and on

Response by PO2 Paul Heise made Nov 8 at 2014 12:28 AM

2014-11-08T00:28:27-05:00

On Subs: sending the new guy for a water slug was popular, but most of the gags we pulled were just practical jokes, like:
1. grease a toilet seat
2. sound powered phone handset, then go to another part of the boat and call the booby-trapped phone.
3. freeze somebody's pillow (helps if you moisten it first)
4. short sheet a bed
5. grease the handrails of a ladder
6. steal the new C.O.'s stateroom door the first time he goes on watch
7. send the new torpedoman into the tube to wipe up condensation, then close the door for a few minutes (once saw a guy who went in head first come back out head first, I have no idea how he turned around in there.
8. cross connect low pressure air lines with 100 pound air to blow the relief in the forward ET's space

Response by SPC Scott Shepherd made Nov 8 at 2014 12:30 AM

2014-11-08T00:30:29-05:00

I remember sending the new guy after prop wash to clean the fan blades on a 113. What was great was when the CO went along with it and sent him all the way to the other side of the complex. Poor guy must have walked 5 miles that morning.

Response by SFC Jonathan Surprise made Nov 8 at 2014 12:35 AM

2014-11-08T00:35:19-05:00

I'm still looking for the PRC-7 and squelch grease...

Response by PO2 Robert Lee made Nov 8 at 2014 4:31 AM

2014-11-08T04:31:15-05:00

how about having to find and empty the Bit Bucket.

Response by SFC Jeff Peters made Nov 8 at 2014 5:20 AM

2014-11-08T05:20:58-05:00

Hey PVT, go to commo and get a tube of squelch. Or, to supply (or maint, depending on the unit) and get some snow chains for the track. Jump up and down on top of the track to check the suspension. Go to supply and get a box of grid squares for the map. Go to maintenance and get a road wheel grease gauge to check the viscosity of the grease in the road wheels to see if the bearings need to be cleans and re-packed with grease, this one backfired on me in Korea. The PVT went to maint who sent him to BN maint, who sent him to Camp Kyle to 3rd shop (he had to dispatch a HMMVEE) and that is where it started to roll back down hill when the CSM and 1SG came to me and wanted to know where my people where.

Response by 1SG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 8 at 2014 8:54 AM

2014-11-08T08:54:21-05:00

"This Swiss seat's cutting into my BA-11s."

Response by MSG Gary Himert made Nov 8 at 2014 9:04 AM

2014-11-08T09:04:21-05:00

Check the air pressure in the road wheels

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 8 at 2014 9:36 AM

2014-11-08T09:36:51-05:00

At the m-4 range with zero on one range and qual on one about 3 miles away sending a private to find the brass magnet to police all the shell casing. "Oh, it's not here, must be at the other range. Run over there and get it from the NCOIC."

Response by Cpl Nelson Cheramie, III made Nov 8 at 2014 9:38 AM

2014-11-08T09:38:08-05:00

When we would deploy on a ship we would often send the FNG for batteries for the "sound powered" phones. He would run back and forth from supply, different shops, ship's supply etc until he would return asking for the type of battery needed. Of course, the obvious answer was always BA1100N (yes, that does spell balloon). He would eventually end up in sick bay where the corpsman would hand him a box of rubbers. The military kind of messed that one up when they actually produced a BA1100N series battery.

We would also send FNGs for:
flight line
rotor wash
prop wash
sky hooks
left handed wrenches, etc

We had one corporal spend over an hour trying to find out what a CGU11 (sea gull) was so he could remove it from one of the aircraft.

Response by SFC Christopher Gould made Nov 8 at 2014 10:08 AM

2014-11-08T10:08:42-05:00

Track lube, antenna oil, MRE heater fluid...

Response by PO2 Thomas Smith made Nov 8 at 2014 10:34 AM

2014-11-08T10:34:33-05:00

The elusive sea bat? A bucket with a board on top, they tell you they've caught a sea bat and that if you're quick enough you can see it before it escapes. When you bend over to look in the bucket, someone steps up behind you and swats your backside with a paddle.

A Bosin's punch. A can of starboard light oil. a left handed hammer or screwdriver.

Response by PO3 Greg Lytwyn made Nov 8 at 2014 10:56 AM

2014-11-08T10:56:35-05:00

i was told to get a pipe wire decrimper

Response by Cpl Glynis Sakowicz made Nov 8 at 2014 10:55 AM

2014-11-08T10:55:08-05:00

While at Cherry Point, it was a common thing, when heading to the tower to pick up people for shuttling to other bases, for the 'winger' Marines to inquire calmly, if the new driver had his 'elevator pass' for the tower.
Had one driver who told the CO of Motor T that he couldn't take the run, because he hadn't 'checked in to the tower and gotten his Elevator Pass yet.' It was a sight to behold, the very calm, capable WM captain trying to retain a straight face, "Well, just tell them I sent you if anyone asks for your pass..." she managed calmly,then did an about face, walked into her office, calmly closed the door, then proceeded to snort-laugh for several minutes, while bellowing, "Sorry... must have a cold coming on...(snort... snort... howl... slap desk... cough to cover laugh).

Response by SSG Kenneth Lanning made Nov 8 at 2014 11:06 AM

2014-11-08T11:06:20-05:00

One of my old section chief's had me do this back in 1995 on our howitzer with a 5lb hammer...I thought I'd speed the process along and grabbed the 20lb sledge from our connex, walked over to our M548 ammo carrier (same "armor" as a regular HMMWV), started to swing, and was promptly stopped and never asked to do dumb $hit again... ;-)

Response by Sgt Erich Schwanke made Nov 8 at 2014 11:53 AM

2014-11-08T11:53:32-05:00

Or sending someone to feed the gammagoats and the mules.
Had FASMO insp in HI where someone sent a notsobright L/Cpl on a mission to get a case of ST1's..he was gone allllllll day because because Battery supply sent him to Bn supply..and on and on. Finally at about 1400 the CommChf get a call from Station supply (when it was MCAS Kaneohe, not Marine Base)..the two MGunnys (inspectors) were still around. The asschewing was minimal as even the inspectors were rolling when notsobright got back and told story of his day..said notsibright got out of Marines still thinking ST1 was a resl item in inventory because of that

Response by SGT Deacon Taylor made Nov 8 at 2014 1:06 PM

2014-11-08T13:06:27-05:00

My favorite of all time was having a squad out for MILES Training adjusting their sights and then getting them to rack up the lazar dots after the training was over. (for my civilian friends "MULTIPLE INTERGRATED LASER ENGAGEMENT SYSTEM")

They spent the better part of an hour looking in the sand for those dots.

Response by 2LT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 8 at 2014 2:15 PM

2014-11-08T14:15:04-05:00

We told a kid to go change the tread on his tires around, that his tires were on backwards. Even had the Motor Sergeant in on it. Got him good. 2 weeks later, we were doing maintenance on our trucks, and told him to go get a set of glow plugs. "Eff that, you're not getting me again." :) Good times.

Response by SFC Mark Lathan made Nov 8 at 2014 2:41 PM

2014-11-08T14:41:47-05:00

Had an 2LT look for soft spots in his tracks armor, with a ball peen hammer.

Response by LCpl Steve Wininger made Nov 8 at 2014 2:48 PM

2014-11-08T14:48:39-05:00

The bucket of steam and Bulkhead remover is kept in the motor pool on the same shelf as turn signal fluid and BA1100N's.

Response by SPC Mickey Bennett made Nov 8 at 2014 3:25 PM

2014-11-08T15:25:32-05:00

When all else fails, go ask a prick E-7, they love it when you call them that!

Response by CPL Scott Walker made Nov 8 at 2014 4:02 PM

2014-11-08T16:02:20-05:00

Left handed crescent wrench, a can of camo spray paint, and the ever elusive can of compressed air type winter.

Response by PO2 Nathan Buydos made Nov 8 at 2014 4:23 PM

2014-11-08T16:23:06-05:00

I've had new shipmates come to my storeroom for a "bulk head remover" and "50 feet of chow line."

Response by SSgt Brian Bensch made Nov 8 at 2014 4:25 PM

2014-11-08T16:25:43-05:00

We had a new guy straight out of technical school that we pulled several pranks on.

1st prank. We had him get a bag of exhaust and told him that the motor pool needed to check it out,that he had to walk it to motor pool and topping it off that it could explode if it was handled to rough. We watched him gingerly hold this bag of air down toward the motor pool (which was on the other end of the base).

We then called the motor pool and told them the story and they co-operated beautifully. When he arrived they took the bag and asked him to stay put while they "checked it out" They came back after 10 minutes and told him that the "sample" was bad and he had to get a new one.

Long story short he spent 1/2 the day walking back and forth to and from the motor pool with a bag of air..

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 8 at 2014 4:26 PM

2014-11-08T16:26:06-05:00

So Platoon Daddy, SFC Bradford and I were at NTC in January 1999. It was bone cold and we were putting canteen cups on MRE heaters laid out on the table to heat up water for our hot chocolate. SFC B was using a chemlight to stir up his cocoa and then 2LT Fahey walked into the tent and looked around. He saw that we had hot drinks and asked how we got hot water. Without a flinch, SFC B told him: "Heated Chemlight".

I went out to fuel the generator and then have a smoke. SFC B took out the trash. We happened to go back into the tent at the same time and walked in to an interesting sight. 2LT Fahey sitting on the ground with about 15 opened chemlight packs....

Response by PO1 Michael Morgan made Nov 8 at 2014 4:36 PM

2014-11-08T16:36:32-05:00

Get me a lefthanded metric monkey wrench.

Response by LTC Keegan Leonard made Nov 8 at 2014 4:56 PM

2014-11-08T16:56:11-05:00

Loved sending Privates looking for Blackout Drive Fluid!

Response by PFC David Woodall made Nov 8 at 2014 5:40 PM

2014-11-08T17:40:01-05:00

I need 15 yards of Flight Line immediately.

Response by SP5 David Cox made Nov 8 at 2014 5:53 PM

2014-11-08T17:53:46-05:00

At Field Station Berlin, a 24/7 intel site, the newbies would be sent around to collect the data for the EMHO report by asking each sub-system if they had any EMHOs to report. What's an EMHO? Early Morning Hard On

Response by SSG William Coble made Nov 8 at 2014 6:06 PM

2014-11-08T18:06:06-05:00

Keys to the DZ, Canopy lights for a night jump, riser grease

Response by SN Robert Van Trump made Nov 8 at 2014 6:16 PM

2014-11-08T18:16:41-05:00

I was on a bouy tender on the rivers, and we would have boots give the lockmasters, the combo of the locks, some time there would be 100 pl. watching. funny as hell.

Response by SP5 Lee Lewis made Nov 8 at 2014 6:34 PM

2014-11-08T18:34:58-05:00

Cross wind sensor check on an M1 series tank. Have them blow through it while rubbing there hands up and down on it to warm it up. Slowly raise the gun tube while they are doing this......

Have them preform "boom checks" also. Go down the entire line of tanks shouting boom into the gun tube to make sure it echos.

Response by Cpl Murray Estes made Nov 8 at 2014 7:20 PM

2014-11-08T19:20:30-05:00

Most notable to me was within a week of checking into my unit. Among my list of random items to retreive was:
a grid square
a lightbulb repair kit
a spare barrel for an M-203.

I got halfway to where he said to get the grid square before realizing he was full of shit, turned around, and asked if he wanted me to get an ID-10T while I was at it. I had pulled the 1D-10T on a fellow student at MOS school. Told him that one of the instructors had a form for him haha.

Response by MAJ Joe Rangitsch made Nov 8 at 2014 7:41 PM

2014-11-08T19:41:03-05:00

Private - go to supply and draw out 5 grid squares

Response by SFC Dave Joslin made Nov 8 at 2014 8:48 PM

2014-11-08T20:48:04-05:00

I keep mine in the garage next to my box of grid squares! I had a new driver for my 113 FLA try to balance our road wheels once- that was pretty good!

Response by 1LT William Clardy made Nov 8 at 2014 8:56 PM

2014-11-08T20:56:34-05:00

I just remembered an incident where telling a new private to go get a can of squelch and that he would be in big trouble if he showed up without it backfired on a young sergeant.

The private took a long weekend (and was logged as AWOL on Monday) before shamefacedly reporting to the first sergeant, asking for advice because he had not been able to find a can of squelch and he *really* didn't want to get in trouble with his fire-team leader. The net result was no Article 15 for the private and a loooonnnng chat that evening in the sergean major's office involving the sergeant and his NCO chain.

Response by PO2 Michael Redman made Nov 8 at 2014 9:06 PM

2014-11-08T21:06:08-05:00

go to boiler room and get bt punch for spliceing mooring line

Response by PO2 Robert Levin made Nov 8 at 2014 9:19 PM

2014-11-08T21:19:11-05:00

i never did that to someone else but on early on someone tried that with me.
LPO: "You need to go to admin and fill out your ID 10 T form."
ME: "Got it, I'll head down there right now."
doesn't move
LPO: "Get moving."
ME: "I am going down the passageway as fast as I can."
LPO: "You are just sitting there."
ME: "This is as fast as I can go."

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 8 at 2014 9:25 PM

2014-11-08T21:25:48-05:00

About 6 years ago at Fort Bliss, we sent a new PVT to the Maintenance Tech looking for Frequency Grease. He came back with an NSN...lol all time awesome backfire.

Then there is the ST1 - (ST ONE)

And the always elusive exhaust sample.

Response by SPC Bryan Guzman-Piedra made Nov 8 at 2014 9:51 PM

2014-11-08T21:51:19-05:00

Slime light fluid, several feet of flight line, box of grid squares...god i love this stuff.

Had a WO1 in my unit end up all the way at Brigade S1 looking for grid squares..Can't take credit for that one..But it was funny as hell.

Response by PO2 Samuel King made Nov 8 at 2014 10:19 PM

2014-11-08T22:19:15-05:00

we used 1D10T but as in 1d10t in for the sonograph machine.

Response by CPL Jerry Bromley made Nov 8 at 2014 10:34 PM

2014-11-08T22:34:06-05:00

Private go over to the maintenance bay and get me a can of track tention and turret return springs

Response by PO1 Rick B. made Nov 8 at 2014 10:59 PM

2014-11-08T22:59:39-05:00

What the serial number on a submarine water slug?

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 8 at 2014 11:21 PM

2014-11-08T23:21:15-05:00

BA-1100-N was one of my favorite forms.
We also sent one guy after a P.E.PSI, someone told him to check the break room.
A box of grid squares.
A tube of frequency grease.

Just a few of the tortures used on privates.

Response by Capt Richard I P. made Nov 8 at 2014 11:51 PM

2014-11-08T23:51:59-05:00

looks like all the classics are here. The cruelest one i heard of was from a CWO3 who when enlisted used to send new Marine Tankers scurrying to the maintenance office to ask the first Marine they found there for a Mechanic's Punch.

Response by SPC Anthony Spelts made Nov 9 at 2014 12:46 AM

2014-11-09T00:46:04-05:00

having a new guy to the unit find the "soft spots" in the 113's. Tap on the side with a hammer and mark the "soft spot" with an x, in chalk. The best part was, we were a wheeled maint Co.......never had to do so many push ups.....

Response by SPC Anthony Rock made Nov 9 at 2014 12:47 AM

2014-11-09T00:47:44-05:00

These were my favs:

1. Sent the FNG to check the brake fluid in the LMTV. I bout died when he came back saying he found it and it was ok.

2. Chemlight batteries.

3. "Go ask Supply for 50 feed of chow line."

Response by TSgt Dave Whitford made Nov 9 at 2014 12:50 AM

2014-11-09T00:50:33-05:00

Hurricane watch, get me a yard of flight line and a box of 3/8" holes. One can of 970MHz RF. The "bucket of prop wash" doesn't go, ask someone who has served in Navy aboard a training carrier. There WAS such a thing, to clean salt scum off props on the trainers...

Response by SGT(P) Harry Clyde Jr. made Nov 9 at 2014 5:24 AM

2014-11-09T05:24:50-05:00

1. Go to supply and ask for a box of ST-1S. (I still get people with that one, including seasoned senior NCOs)
2. Go ask the mechanics for a tube of lanyard grease.
3. Go to S3 and get the keys for the DZ for tonights jump.
4. Putting the cheap specialty designed "Cherry" helmet on the new 5 jump chump that he has to wear throughout the day inincluding before, during and after the jump.
5. Unit patches, nametapes sewn upside down on BDUs. (Mysterious how gremlins work during the night)
6. Having the new guys shake or in one instance that I recall, take down a tree so we can find where we are on the map during land nav. (The rest of us knew where we were)
7. Have the guy with the trumpet play revelry at 4 in the morning in the barracks even though wake up wasnt until six. (I happened to be that guy. I was not very well liked for a week after that, had to keep the trumpet locked up for a month due to threats)
8. Have the gun section smartass jump the M60, tripod, t&e, pintle, sincgars, and a box of blanks along with the 40lbs in his ruck and his lbe. Bird does 2 race tracks and I distinctly remember losing my balance, threw the static line at the safety because of this loss and going out the door practically backwards. Forgot what I said to my section chief but this was his funny form of corrective action. (This was when counsling statements were rarely used though I do recall that whatever i said may not have warranted a counsling statement even under todays standards)
9. Chute log book shows that Mickey Mouse packed your chute yesterday.
10. Telling your new 2lt who is in front of you waiting for the green light on a daytime jump "Hi, my name is xxxxxxx, and ill be riding your chute out today!"
Those are just some of the ones I recall. I left out a couple of the most common ones.
MY 2 Bits.

Response by PO2 Jean Tucker made Nov 9 at 2014 7:33 AM

2014-11-09T07:33:15-05:00

Sending young dumb airman on search for AN/ASH reciever- 1000 feet of flight line...buckets of prop wash....good times.

Response by SPC Scott Houghton made Nov 9 at 2014 8:53 AM

2014-11-09T08:53:17-05:00

myself and a friend once had a brand new PFC searching where to check the brake fluid for 20 minutes on an LMTV

Response by Cpl William Whitelatch made Nov 9 at 2014 9:12 AM

2014-11-09T09:12:19-05:00

I was told to find batteries for the chem lights, and get the keys to the hummer

Response by PO1 Kieran Gaughan made Nov 9 at 2014 11:09 AM

2014-11-09T11:09:06-05:00

When I was a MM2 on the USS Dalhgren DDG 43, we were lighting off the day before getting underway. I was the Top Watch for #1 Engine room which also served as Main Control for all 4 main engineering spaces. As we were lighting off, I sent our brand new messenger to the Captain's stateroom to get the keys to the Main Engines so that we could start them up....lol. He did and the skipper sent him to the XO who then sent him to the Chief Engineer. I did get a call from the Captain and he told me to stop doing that as he was laughing....through the call.

Response by Cpl Ryan Sidun made Nov 9 at 2014 12:50 PM

2014-11-09T12:50:47-05:00

Well There's Hey boot go ask Gunny for a box of grid squares or ask the gunny for a prick-E-7 and the classic hey LT ask gunny for a BFA for the mortar.

Response by Cpl Tim Patey made Nov 9 at 2014 1:36 PM

2014-11-09T13:36:14-05:00

Battery for a Prick E-7
Suit up to pull butts for the flamethrower
light bulb repair kit
piston return springs
30 inch yard stick

Response by Cpl Rob Bibber made Nov 9 at 2014 1:36 PM

2014-11-09T13:36:55-05:00

When I was a new boot fresh out of tank school, the senior LCPL on my tank sent me to the maintenance shop for a can of air.

Response by LCpl Matt P. made Nov 9 at 2014 2:05 PM

2014-11-09T14:05:27-05:00

While stationed in Okinawa, as the Company Armorer I was constantly asked for these stupid items by the newbies sent on fools errands by their squad or Plt. leaders, I finally got back at the guys while preparing to embark for a 6 month float, I took the cardboard separators from several empty cases for grenades, pulled them apart, spray painted some in yellow, OD green and red,(blue had to be signed out by senior officers only!) by the end of the first day I had one Lt., 3 Plt. Sgt.'s and various squad and fireteam leaders standing in front of me asking how the hell I came up with so many different colored "grid squares" for the newbies! I told them if they didnt stop sending the cherries to me for stupid stuff, I would come up with something for the "can of night vision" requests too! (I had an uneventful, peaceful time after that, not to mention several rounds of beer bought at different locales)

Response by SFC Eli Foster made Nov 9 at 2014 2:31 PM

2014-11-09T14:31:01-05:00

I once sent a cadet and 2nd lieutenant to get a fallopian tube for a HUMMV. You'd think college would make that impossible but, alas, no :)

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 9 at 2014 2:39 PM

2014-11-09T14:39:31-05:00

Does anyone have the keys to the sea chest? LOL!

Response by SPC Christopher "Adam" Scott made Nov 9 at 2014 2:58 PM

2014-11-09T14:58:05-05:00

I had a new private get a piece of chalk and a hammer and tap for soft spots in the bed of a 5 ton dump truck. It was funny until my LT asked him what he was doing and he ratted me out.

Response by CPL William Curtis made Nov 9 at 2014 3:43 PM

2014-11-09T15:43:00-05:00

How about a can of P-E-P-S-I? I need a box of grid squares. A key to the impact zone (for field artillery). or... we need to change out the spring/summer air for fall/winter air in the tires.

Response by Cpl David Bock made Nov 9 at 2014 3:57 PM

2014-11-09T15:57:56-05:00

How about the chem light batteries or the BA-100N S.T. Rings? Or sending someone off to check out the keys to the Humvee. And for Artillery specific, a high-angle retaining pin.

Response by SPC Joshua Rosengarten made Nov 9 at 2014 4:37 PM

2014-11-09T16:37:53-05:00

When I first arrived at my fist unit, my new team leader sent me to supply for a box of grid squares. I took the wind out of his sails when two hours later, thanks to the supply room needing to get rid of some old maps, I returned with three maps worth of grid squares. He wanted to smoke the crap out of me as I stood there with that "I'm not that stupid, and I will fulfill the mission" smile.

Response by SFC Richard Noel made Nov 9 at 2014 4:40 PM

2014-11-09T16:40:37-05:00

Pvt....I need a flux capasitor....find one!

Response by SPC Samuel Wheeler made Nov 9 at 2014 4:43 PM

2014-11-09T16:43:29-05:00

go get me 10ft of flightline! or get me a bucket of propwash!

Response by Sgt Derek Feldman made Nov 9 at 2014 4:48 PM

2014-11-09T16:48:25-05:00

our best was K9P sent a poor airman in Kunsan S Korea in the middle of July for some our line chief called the 80th FS guys to give them a heads up they sent him somewhere eles he finally ended up with the SP's they had him put on a full mop suit and with long tongs and a 3 pound coffee can filled with water they told him that is was very deadly and if it slashed it would be a major environmental issue he had to walk about 3/4 of a mile back to where we where it was funny as heck. a yard of flight line was also a good one.

Response by SPC Brent Houtz made Nov 9 at 2014 5:21 PM

2014-11-09T17:21:35-05:00

well we took a new ROTC officer from BYU out it west desert in Utah that want us to do compass course at night. So we went and left him along out there alone.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 9 at 2014 7:27 PM

2014-11-09T19:27:12-05:00

Before I left my last ship DDG106 In San Diego. I told 2 new FR they had to crack down the mast for sea an anchor detail before we get to Coronado bridge.

Response by SPC Ron Nedland made Nov 9 at 2014 7:57 PM

2014-11-09T19:57:28-05:00

I had a new PVT, fresh out of AIT. We were at the shooting range, and I told him to get the CPT to authorize him to turn on the "range fan". He did it! Then he told the CPT who sent him, and we both were standing in the range tower with cardbord, fanning the range controllers :(

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 9 at 2014 9:07 PM

2014-11-09T21:07:37-05:00

Sending the new airmen out for a box of flight line is always good. Also fun is telling them to ask the MSgt for a pricky-7.

Response by SFC David Brown made Nov 9 at 2014 10:48 PM

2014-11-09T22:48:10-05:00

LOL - Reminds me when we were in Ft. Hood. They had cattle on the base at that time. We were heading out to the range and saw a Bull out in the pasture. I asked the driver to stop for a tire check and he did. Well we had this kid that was not that brilliant at times and was definitely as city boy. (ID10T) So I asked him if he had ever heard of a 1 uddered cow! Nope never heard of it he said. So we pointed out in the field and showed him the "1 uddered cow". I said have you ever milked a cow before? He said no. I said you wanna try? He said sure. Sooooo, with all of trying not to bust a gut, he started over the fence but we had to tell him to stop because the bull was already running towards him and he didn't even realize it, until afterwards. We just couldn't keep it in any longer. We couldn't let him get killed by a bull. We were laughing so hard it took another 15 minutes just to get moving again. Tooooo funny.

Response by Sgt Bruce Loving made Nov 9 at 2014 11:38 PM

2014-11-09T23:38:46-05:00

Find the NSC number for flight line and order 100 yds.
Go over to the hanger and get me 10 gal. of prop wash.

Response by PO2 Victor Taylor made Nov 10 at 2014 12:27 AM

2014-11-10T00:27:59-05:00

international date line watch, keys to the sea chest, sound powered telephone batteries...

Response by SGT Charles Kime made Nov 10 at 2014 12:47 AM

2014-11-10T00:47:22-05:00

We were running a PVC sewer line for a new latrine. The final joint was being made in the middle of the run, and the two ends were (appropriately) a few inches apart. Sent a college-student PFC to the tool room for the pipe stretcher to get them to meet. He and the tool room clerk spent over 2 hours trying to track down the NSN so they could figure out which tool box to look in. By the time they gave up the joint was finished, the entire line had been buried, and we had all moved on to lunch.

Response by SN Brian Riter made Nov 10 at 2014 1:54 AM

2014-11-10T01:54:30-05:00

bucket of steam
1. bucket
2. dry ice
3. some water

enjoy

Response by LCpl Alexis Gonzalez made Nov 10 at 2014 6:21 AM

2014-11-10T06:21:21-05:00

I was in artillery. on separate occasions I was sent to look for a box of grid squares, some gun target line, and a battery adjustment wrench.

Response by SSgt Perry Powers made Nov 10 at 2014 6:30 AM

2014-11-10T06:30:37-05:00

10 feet of flightline

Response by PO1 Perry Bancroft made Nov 10 at 2014 8:08 AM

2014-11-10T08:08:39-05:00

My first ship (USS Coronado AGF-11) was an amphibious landing ship. Our hull techs made a four foot long "skeleton key" that weighed about 60 lbs. They kept it in after steering. Our Ops boss was infamous for sending the younguns out for the stern gate key. He was always in Combat Information Center when he sent them out. They would run down to after steering (about 10 decks down IIRC) to bring the Ops boss his stern gate key. When they were done lugging this key up the 10 decks, he would invariably tell them that was the starboard key, and he needed the port key. He would send them back down to return it.

Response by SSG James Morrow made Nov 10 at 2014 9:33 AM

2014-11-10T09:33:33-05:00

Send newbie's up to Battalion Maint for muffler bearing for M113 or liquid track tension, or to Commo for squelch for my radio.

Response by SSG Tim Everett made Nov 10 at 2014 10:08 AM

2014-11-10T10:08:17-05:00

I had a team sergeant who pulled one of these on what he thought was a fresh-faced private. I forget exactly what he asked for, I think it was maybe canopy lights or something. Long story short, the private knew exactly what was up, but played dumb. He went back to his room and took off for a few hours.

Toward the end of the day he came rolling back up for formation, walks up to the sergeant and snaps to parade rest, and says something to the effect of "Sarnt, I couldn't find your [insert whatever the thing was], so I went and asked Sarnt Stone, who told me to go see the Sarnt Major. Anyway, Sarnt Major asked me to have you report to him ASAP."

The sergeant got a red face and that "oh shiiiiii...!" look, and hauled it over to battalion HQ. He came back about ten minutes later, face still red from having reported to the Sergeant Major for no reason, and put the entire squad's junior enlisted in the front leaning rest for laughing.

Response by SFC Ryan Berg made Nov 10 at 2014 10:51 AM

2014-11-10T10:51:57-05:00

can of prop wash, box of grid squares, 100 feet of firing line, blank firing adapter for M-203, can of squelch for radio's,

Response by SP5 Pat Schauer made Nov 10 at 2014 11:08 AM

2014-11-10T11:08:26-05:00

I was in a Chinook outfit in Vietnam. We'd have the newbees requisition a yard of flight line and a gallon of prop wash. Tech Supply would give them the TM and tell them they needed part numbers. It would get them out of your hair for a couple hours....

Response by SPC Michael Leggitt made Nov 10 at 2014 11:15 AM

2014-11-10T11:15:35-05:00

Ive sent a private into an Uh-60 tail boom with a quarter and told him to tap it on the airframe for structural checks and told him I will let you know when you find a bad spot from out here. then walked away for about 20 minutes. lol

Response by FN Bill Searls made Nov 10 at 2014 11:35 AM

2014-11-10T11:35:26-05:00

Used to send new guys on the ship down to the engine room for a "BT Punch". Most never knew why the "BTs" in the engine room actually punched them.

Response by Cpl Little Joe made Nov 10 at 2014 11:37 AM

2014-11-10T11:37:19-05:00

Sent a guy to supply for a bucket of frequency grease, box of grid squares and 50 feet of chow line......even sent him to the Company Gunny looking for a PRC (prick) E7

Response by PV2 Rob Kowalczyk made Nov 10 at 2014 11:39 AM

2014-11-10T11:39:41-05:00

a box of grid squares and a trunk of ground guides.

Response by PFC Chris Stomps made Nov 10 at 2014 11:48 AM

2014-11-10T11:48:23-05:00

hmm my first day in PP my section chief told me to go find a gap Gage for a M109. i had never worked on a diesel engine in my life so i spent probably good 20 min going up an down the gun line asking for one. wondering the entire time why everyone was snickering and giving me suggestions where to find one. lol

Response by SFC James Verdejo made Nov 10 at 2014 12:07 PM

2014-11-10T12:07:17-05:00

Box of Grid Squares

Response by PO2 Danny Bott made Nov 10 at 2014 12:42 PM

2014-11-10T12:42:44-05:00

I was asked in my EWAS board what is the pepsi of a jet tire. I thought and thought and finally said I don't know the person that asked said you owe me a pepsi. It was funny. I sat on the Top Side PO qualification boards and all the rest to but one question I always liked to ask was how many pens are you allowed top side all of them would get it wrong. of course it gets around after awhile because they all talk to each other so they know that answer before they come in.

Response by SSG Steven Nosack made Nov 10 at 2014 1:06 PM

2014-11-10T13:06:29-05:00

My first unit in Germany, we did the standard armor plating soft spot check. After two hours, a new Private would have an entire M1A1 circled with small chalk marks, and then we would tell him that we didn't have time to replace the soft spots and that he needed to wash the tank. Others were the left handed squeegee sharpener to ensure that the wiper blades on the HMMWV would clean the window equally. Summer and winter road wheels for the tanks. Spring air for the shocks on the wheeled vehicles.

We made up a maintenance alert for the replacement of Kanuter Valves on all M1A1 and M113 FOV. These were made to look very official. We did the DA maintenance alert, Division, Bde and Bn alerts. The breakdown on the part was a blown up diagram of a disassembled Skillcraft pen. We gave all of this to a new Private and sent him to S-4 to find the part. Somehow it made it to 8th ID Commander, and he flew down to Mannheim to find the SOB that was wasting Division time with this nonsense. Our BMO told us to leave ASAP, and not to return until the morning. Everyone in the unit figured out who did it, but no one could find us. We went downtown Mannheim and had a few beers and worried about our stripes.

Response by SP5 Martin Hayes made Nov 10 at 2014 1:41 PM

2014-11-10T13:41:47-05:00

Go out on the Flight Line and get a air sample fro the tail wheel

Response by SGT John Hamiter made Nov 10 at 2014 1:45 PM

2014-11-10T13:45:14-05:00

Up at Fort Drum we were issued white cold weather boots we referred to as "Mickey Mouse" boots. The boots had an air valve to depressurize while in the air and whatnot. A private was complaining about his feet being cold so I told him to go ask the squad leader for the "boot pump." The squad leader ended up going to the platoon sergeant who finally explained to the squad leader, and the private, the reasoning behind the air valve.

Response by Sgt Doyle Wester made Nov 10 at 2014 1:45 PM

2014-11-10T13:45:42-05:00

run to supply and get me a box of grid squares

Response by PO1 David Jones made Nov 10 at 2014 2:05 PM

2014-11-10T14:05:21-05:00

Go to supply and get a Steam Blanket.
Got to the HT shop and get a HT punch.
Go to the bow and look for the mail bouy.

Response by SSgt Michael Dillson made Nov 10 at 2014 2:15 PM

2014-11-10T14:15:26-05:00

Long ago, we used to send out classified reports though the teletypes on different colored tapes. Since we obviously could not let classified chad fall into enemy hands, the newbs had to sort the chad can to get all the red ones out.

Response by LCpl Mark Saxton made Nov 10 at 2014 2:43 PM

2014-11-10T14:43:43-05:00

I need you to go get me a spool of com line

Response by SFC Joe Wrzosek made Nov 10 at 2014 2:52 PM

2014-11-10T14:52:56-05:00

Go ask the Sergeant Major for the key to Area J!

Response by SA Harold Hansmann made Nov 10 at 2014 2:57 PM

2014-11-10T14:57:23-05:00

How about being sent to supply for 10' of gig line and the gig line stretcher?

Response by PO2 Greg Werber made Nov 10 at 2014 3:00 PM

2014-11-10T15:00:38-05:00

Told some new kid to change the spark plugs on a diesel engine. He came back almost 4 hours later in a total panic because he couldn't find them.

Response by SCPO Bryan Knapp made Nov 10 at 2014 3:19 PM

2014-11-10T15:19:20-05:00

We had caught some Sea Bats and announced over the 1MC to come see them on the main deck. When they stuck their head in the box to see (so they didn't escape) they got a kick in the pants and laughed at pretty good.

Response by SCPO Albert Lee Smith made Nov 10 at 2014 4:32 PM

2014-11-10T16:32:01-05:00

I need 50 feet of Flight line, some PKPowered eggs, and a bos'n punch.

Response by SrA Delmar Mounts made Nov 10 at 2014 5:22 PM

2014-11-10T17:22:05-05:00

How about a bottle of K9P Lubricant

or a Yard of flightline?

Response by SrA Michael McFadden made Nov 10 at 2014 10:11 PM

2014-11-10T22:11:26-05:00

Same place as a roll of 10 yards flight line I assume.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 11 at 2014 5:00 PM

2014-11-11T17:00:54-05:00

On the ship, we had a guy completely fly up in a panic to the bridge yelling about not having retracted the mast before entering a foreign port.

We had another one scrambling to route a request chit to "Routine Blow of the Eng Valve" (W-1R for you 3M types) before returning to port, with approvals all the way up to the Eng, who disapproved it under the reason of "Sorry, but you're not my type."

Another guy we had fun with was having him stand watch at the Pit Sword as we lowered it on an underway time, with a nerf sword to fend it back down with if it should show up.

And lastly, as a prank, someone started playing the Party Boy theme song from Jackass on the 1MC during a fresh water wash down. The end result of people really getting into it got the song banned so hard that 8 years later I'm still afraid to listen to it.

...........not enough brain bleach in the world to remove THAT memory....

Response by SCPO Chip Hawkins made Nov 11 at 2014 5:24 PM

2014-11-11T17:24:19-05:00

Us wingnuts were always told by the snipes to get a light bulb repair kit.. :)

Response by CMSgt Robert Gates made Nov 11 at 2014 7:11 PM

2014-11-11T19:11:50-05:00

How about getting a yard of flightline and a bucket of prop wash.

Response by A1C Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 11 at 2014 7:33 PM

2014-11-11T19:33:22-05:00

One of my tech school instructors sent a few airmen to find him a BA1100NS parachute.

He followed up with telling us about the time he was sent for K9P and brought some back(it was microwaved Mountain Dew).

Response by SN Chris L made Nov 11 at 2014 7:38 PM

2014-11-11T19:38:54-05:00

Ask the chief for ten feet of waterline and the keys to the divisional doors

Response by SPC Evan Brandvold made Nov 11 at 2014 7:43 PM

2014-11-11T19:43:54-05:00

Chem light batteries and left handed Cresent wrenches were what we sent turtles hunting for when I was stationed at Camp Kyle, Korea

Response by A1C Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 11 at 2014 7:45 PM

2014-11-11T19:45:01-05:00

We also did this at McDonald's when I was kitchen manager, if an order came up as "no sauce" we would panic and tell the new guy to get the no sauce from the stock room. Once or twice I had to go get them to bring them back to the kitchen.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 12 at 2014 9:36 AM

2014-11-12T09:36:53-05:00

When I was a PVT arriving at my first unit we were prepping to deploy to Kosovo. They tried the typical exhaust sample and box of grid squares which I had been forewarned about. Day two or three my TL was going over my in-processing checklist with me and asked me if I had been to the medics to get my shot in the eye. Initially I was very skeptical but without skipping a beat my SL and PSG confirmed the requirement. The Medic PLT PSG (who just happened to walk in the room at the right time) also confirmed it and provided a very convincing medical sounding explanation as to why it was required. Long story short the entire BN Aid Station also got in on it and went so far as strapping me down, laying out a drop cloth "to catch the blood", breaking out some rather large needles, and having a good laugh as they sprayed water in my face.

Response by SFC David Seitz made Nov 15 at 2014 10:28 PM

2014-11-15T22:28:10-05:00

You can always send them to the motor pool, maybe they keep it next to the clear trash bag that is used to gather exhaust samples

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 12 at 2014 5:57 AM

2014-12-12T05:57:39-05:00

I don't know if they carry it but you can check this website I found a few years back while looking for crazy stuff. Its a satire site but funny as hell to look around.

http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=22

Blinker Fluid - $18.95 : KaleCoAuto.com, Your home for the rare, unusual, and hard to find auto...

KaleCoAuto.com Blinker Fluid - Are you blinkers sluggish? Do they make an annoying ticking noise? Do they not flash fast enough? Here's your solution. Little do people know, factory quality blinker fluid should be changed every 150,000 blinks. Our blinker fluid lasts ten times that. KaleCoAuto high quality synthetic blinker fluid meets the highest

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 12 at 2014 8:24 AM

2014-12-12T08:24:26-05:00

Well several I've heard (never fell for my dad warned me ahead of time to be careful of these things:

You need to take your mattress to so-so to have it stamped.

Did you fill your seabag with water to check for water tight integrity?

You need to microwave your glow belt in order to charge it.

Go to the boat locker and ask for a boatswains punch.

Go stand snow watch.

Run and get so many feet of gig line.

We need sound powered phone batteries.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 12 at 2014 1:00 PM

2014-12-12T13:00:36-05:00

No, but I found the PRC E7 and I didn't like what I found....a bucket of sweat ensued...thanks for the kind 'boot' reminder.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 12 at 2014 1:04 PM

2014-12-12T13:04:11-05:00

Still searching for gravity velcro...

Response by LCDR Steve Didio made Feb 25 at 2015 4:50 PM

2015-02-25T16:50:06-05:00

Funny stuff....I recall in 1977, as a very young and naïve sailor, getting sent to the Boiler Room on the USS Gridley (CG-21) to get a "BT Punch". Well, this crusty old Boiler Tech (BT) must have felt sorry for me, and he told me to go back topside holding my shoulder, and tell them "good one, you really got me on that one".

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made May 15 at 2015 5:15 PM

2015-05-15T17:15:36-04:00

One of our SrA that was always busy somewhere other than his desk and was the Vehicle Control Officer once received a Memo through mail with a roll of black duct tape and trash bags. The memo explained how the budget cuts has pushed emission testing of gov vehicles down to the VCO and even came with a chart that measured the emissions based off of the bleed down time of the included collection apparatus. After a few weeks of it sitting in his cube he was about to go do it as the commander was loading his GOV up for a trip. Luckily we saw this and stopped him. As much as we wanted to let him go out infront of the 3star and duct tape a trash bag to a tailpipe we prevented this fun to prevent anyone getting reprimanded!

Response by FN Kermit Robinson made May 17 at 2015 8:27 PM

2015-05-17T20:27:30-04:00

Watching a new shipmate turn green about to get sea sick and telling him to drink milk.

Response by PO2 Johnathan Kerns made May 17 at 2015 8:39 PM

2015-05-17T20:39:35-04:00

Has anyone mentioned the 50 feet of gigline ? ;)

Response by FN Kermit Robinson made May 18 at 2015 12:02 AM

2015-05-18T00:02:25-04:00

Send you down to the boiler room, and you asked " They sent me down for a bucket of steam.....lol

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made May 18 at 2015 12:29 AM

2015-05-18T00:29:53-04:00

How about getting an HT punch from the General Workshop or Retreiving an XBT after it's been launched or Cranking down the Mast so it doesn't hit the Bridge.

Response by PO3 Kevin Stephen made May 23 at 2015 12:14 PM

2015-05-23T12:14:56-04:00

We sent an Airman plane captain trainee to the flight line with a trash bag to get an exhaust sample from a F-14.
Needless to say we told him to do it from a distance don't want to hurt anyone. LOL

Response by PO3 Dario de la Cruz made May 26 at 2015 2:20 PM

2015-05-26T14:20:59-04:00

A little late but just came on to this site....we used to get sent out to do Crustacean reports....(didn't see that one in comments).

Response by PO1 Robert "Gus" Lint made May 27 at 2015 1:02 PM

2015-05-27T13:02:00-04:00

I was handed a flack jacket, helmet, and shotgun during our transit of the Suez

Response by SN E Robinson made May 27 at 2015 3:25 PM

2015-05-27T15:25:20-04:00

It's kept in the locker with the prop wash and waterline!

Response by SN E Robinson made May 27 at 2015 3:53 PM

2015-05-27T15:53:41-04:00

It's kept in the locker with the prop wash and waterline!

Response by PO3 Jennifer McMullin made Jun 4 at 2015 1:34 AM

2015-06-04T01:34:29-04:00

Stylus ink

Response by PO3 Jordan Davis made Jun 15 at 2015 1:19 AM

2015-06-15T01:19:19-04:00

My Chief told me to go down to Supply and find him some PU-55-Y. I sat there for a moment and just stared at that sly grin he always had when he thought he was clever.

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Jun 15 at 2015 1:32 AM

2015-06-15T01:32:24-04:00

When we pulled our can into Long Beach, the Chief sent me to Serv-Mart for a squeegee sharpener. You should have seen his face when I came back with one. Told the Chief they also had Teddy Bears. Telling me BS and sending me back for one, I returned with the NSN Bear, Stuffed, Theodore. Chief never sent me to Serv-Mart again.

Response by SFC Mark Lathan made Jun 18 at 2015 3:45 PM

2015-06-18T15:45:51-04:00

It's on the shelf with the Flight-line, Squelch Oil, box of Grid Squares, and Prop Wash.

After you pick those up, go to your PSG, and ask him where the PRC-E7 is.

Response by PO2 Daniel Rogers made Jun 19 at 2015 11:45 PM

2015-06-19T23:45:44-04:00

Sure, but you need to fill out an ID10T form from Admin.

Response by PO1 Mike Edgecomb made Jun 22 at 2015 8:10 PM

2015-06-22T20:10:21-04:00

Response by PO3 Scott Miller made Jun 22 at 2015 9:44 PM

2015-06-22T21:44:17-04:00

How about going to find and HT punch in engineering berthing or going to the boatswains locker for some gig line.

Response by CAPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 3 at 2015 2:30 PM

2015-07-03T14:30:58-04:00

Next to the relative bearing grease.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 5 at 2015 11:39 AM

2015-07-05T11:39:03-04:00

Telling someone to go find the key to the sea chest, so they can get a hand full of DCA nuts.

Tell someone to go to the painting gear locker and get 100 yards of flight line.

Response by 1SG Michael Blount made Jul 9 at 2015 12:58 PM

2015-07-09T12:58:02-04:00

Yah, they're in the supply room next with the keys for the impact zone

Response by SN Greg Wright made Jul 14 at 2015 8:34 PM

2015-07-14T20:34:14-04:00

I stood the venerable mail buoy watch...in full CBR gear, with a boat hook.

Response by PO1 Scott Cottrell made Jul 27 at 2015 7:11 PM

2015-07-27T19:11:16-04:00

BT or BM Punch, Box of ball tabs, Tacan Gate key. 50 feet of Flightline, Bucket of prop wash. Heard a lot of them both on Shore Duty and on Ships.

Response by MSgt Curtis Ellis made Jul 29 at 2015 2:13 PM

2015-07-29T14:13:46-04:00

Bucket of steam and bottle of bulkhead remover? Yeah... It's sitting right next to that big box of light brighteners...

Response by SMSgt Tony Barnes made Jul 29 at 2015 4:14 PM

2015-07-29T16:14:38-04:00

It's near the henweigh

Response by CAPT J Mark Walker made Jul 29 at 2015 5:46 PM

2015-07-29T17:46:58-04:00

We had some E-2 Reservists come aboard our ship in the mid 1960's for their two week ACDUTRA. One of them came by the supply office looking for "relative bearing grease." I think the storekeeper told him he had to fill out a requisition. Maybe that was the same crew that was looking for a "left-handed monkey wrench."

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 29 at 2015 6:17 PM

2015-07-29T18:17:02-04:00

I'm sure it's been said but a big one is sending a new guy to go get chem light batteries or a left handed broom.

Response by PO3 Brendan O'Gara made Aug 18 at 2015 11:35 AM

2015-08-18T11:35:44-04:00

Looking for a left handed bacon stretcher

Response by PO1 Donald Hammond made Aug 20 at 2015 3:39 PM

2015-08-20T15:39:42-04:00

I'm going to tell you a top secret secret. You have to lubricate wires so the electrons flow easier. Also when you turn off a switch the dead electrons fall on the floor and have to be swept up. Usually this is done during field day. But not in the reactor compartment. Then it is only done when it is open for other maintenance and somebody, usually the brand new junior officer assigned as E-Div Officer, has to do it.

As it so happened one time, our new Div Off happily went along with all these shenanigans and strange explanations, some of which can NOT be described on here because the PC police would get me. Then one day we had a major piece of equipment go down and me and my guys were troubleshooting like crazy. The DO came back aft and asked if he could help. I was like "what can you do, nub officer?" He then told me he was an Electrical Engineer. Taken back a bit, I asked why he went along with all the stuff we pulled on him. He smiled and said "you were all having such a good time, and it was fun!" He was the best division officer I ever had.

And now go put your coffee cup against the hull and listen for enemy submarines.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 20 at 2015 3:59 PM

2015-08-20T15:59:46-04:00

Box of reticles
Can of dehydrated water

Response by FN Mike Mills made Aug 30 at 2015 5:51 PM

2015-08-30T17:51:51-04:00

Steam blanket

Response by PO1 Scott Cottrell made Jan 4 at 2016 5:51 PM

2016-01-04T17:51:37-05:00

Tacan gate key, bucket of prop wash, BT punch, I could go on and on.

Response by LT Michael Cavaggioni made Jan 10 at 2016 10:30 AM

2016-01-10T10:30:35-05:00

Found my original post but can't delete it. :(

Response by LT Michael Cavaggioni made Jan 17 at 2016 9:29 PM

2016-01-17T21:29:37-05:00

On the smoke deck of a DDG a Sailor asks what the noise coming from the exhaust vent is. Oh no, the MPA needs to blow! Quick run into CCS ask them if you can blow the MPA. (Overheard this one being told to Midshipman...) (Thought I posted this but couldn't find it)

Response by PO3 Ricardo Maduro made Feb 3 at 2016 10:16 PM

2016-02-03T22:16:25-05:00

We were sent to obtain the elusive pad-eye wrench on the flight deck of our carrier

Response by SMSgt Lawrence McCarter made Aug 14 at 2017 3:50 AM

2017-08-14T03:50:10-04:00

Or got get a bucket of prop wash, perhaps a length of flight line ? Go and get measured for Your weapon. You need a key to the flagpole.

Response by CW2 Fred Baker made Aug 16 at 2017 4:04 PM

2017-08-16T16:04:45-04:00

Supply stores them in a bin next to the flight line and rotor wash.

Response by SPC Phillip Norton made Aug 22 at 2019 3:30 AM

2019-08-22T03:30:56-04:00

“Hey PVT! I think I left the keys to the Humvee in the ignition. Could you get them for me?”

Response by PO2 Deborah Smith made Mar 8 at 2021 7:31 PM

2021-03-08T19:31:25-05:00

Same place as the 50 ft of chow line!