Any tips for getting married during a PCS?

2017-05-29T01:48:18-04:00

Response by SSG Pete Fleming made May 29 at 2017 1:57 AM

2017-05-29T01:57:37-04:00

Wait until your moved and settled. The hassle of the PCS and the stress of all the changes on top of trying to have a wedding... just wait.

Response by SSG Bethany Viglietta made May 29 at 2017 1:59 AM

2017-05-29T01:59:51-04:00

I'd wait if possible until you get settled, unless that's not an option. Are you getting married right out of AIT?

Response by PFC Jonathan Albano made May 29 at 2017 5:46 AM

2017-05-29T05:46:12-04:00

I was in your shoes once. I took a wise SSG's advice and waited a few months before getting married. I'm glad I did because it allowed me time to get things figured out before moving my spouse to my then duty station. There's a lot of logistics to figure out that are much easier to handle when you aren't flying by the seat of your pants. After you get the lay of the land, you can always fly her in and do the courthouse wedding in a town near your duty station. With all your in-processing out of the way, things will be a lot smoother to figure out.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2017 7:56 AM

2017-05-29T07:56:09-04:00

You can always put a note at the bottom of your DA 5434, Sponsorship Form, on Army Career Tracker, or email, letting your gaining sponsor know you intend to get married. Make sure to ask them to tell you all of the documents you need to provide to Finance, in order to modify your pay to Married. That way you have everything you need to get it started quickly upon arrival.

Once Korea cuts your PCS orders as Single, and you are in the middle of the PCS process to your next unit, you can't get Dependent pay or benefits started, pertaining to your new spouse, until you sign in at your new unit and begin inprocessing. That being said, you will likely have to completely inprocess, making sure to provide finance your marriage documents so you can look for housing. After all of that, you will probably have to come out of pocket to transport your Wife and her belongings to your duty station, unless she is already traveling with you, and you are putting her up in a Hotel until everything gets sorted out.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2017 8:20 AM

2017-05-29T08:20:27-04:00

I would say to wait until AFTER the PCS is done. You are going to be having enough stress and headaches of getting your goods packed and shipped (and praying not too much stuff was destroyed en route), getting to your unit and getting your work groove on.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2017 10:37 AM

2017-05-29T10:37:17-04:00

Don't. That is about the best advice I can give. When I was an NCO I would tell all of my younger soldiers to break up with their girlfriends and that it wouldn't work out. Most of them didn't listen. Some got married and then divorced. I can't recall any of them that got married in their initial years of the military really making it. I only say this because the first few years are so chaotic in the military.

Now that I am older, and hopefully wiser, I don't say that anymore. But I would say don't complicate things if you don't have too. If you plan on being with a person for the rest of your life then what is a few months. You commitment shouldn't change. If it does then you might want to rethink things. You need to focus on getting to your next duty station and get settled in. The last thing you want to do is get married and move your wife up there and leave right away. Before you get married I would highly recommend that you talk to your chaplain first. He may be able to guide you on building a solid foundation on marriage while in the military. If you don't you may run into an NCO that has the same perspective that I did.

Response by SFC Kelly Fuerhoff made May 29 at 2017 12:34 PM

2017-05-29T12:34:33-04:00

Don't do that. You're just going to have a huge headache of paperwork. Wait until you get to your next duty station. Courthouses aren't going anywhere. You can do it at a courthouse there. It would make more sense to wait until you're settled.

You can't get any dependent pay until you even get to your next duty station anyway because you're going to be listed as single on all your orders when you leave. Just do it after you get there and as stated let your sponsor know you are getting married after you get there.

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made May 29 at 2017 12:39 PM

2017-05-29T12:39:13-04:00

SGT Private RallyPoint Member "Any tips for getting married during a PCS?"

DONT..
That said, like most young SM your going to do it anyway regardless of advice.
So, the BEST way to make this mistake is to take a few days of leave BEFORE you PCS and get married....then return to your duty station get your orders amended and PCS.
If you can not do that then understand there is little to no benefit of getting married on PCS leave other then the act itself. Your orders will still be for unaccompanied travel, you are still going to be assigned to single SM housing and you are going to be a MAJOR distraction to yourself and your unit.
So here is the advice you are probable not going to listen to..if you can not get married BEFORE pcs, don't. Get to your new unit, sign in and in process early, get your unit assignment and sign in there ASKING for the balance of the "planned" leave to to be put back on leave so you can get your "family" squared away...ie get married...and STILL leave your new wife where she is, safe, with support network...Return to your unit and get your new wife in to DEERS, go see post housing and get on the waiting list for housing and STILL leave your new wife where she is, safe, with support network.
Get to know your new unit, let the leaders get to know you...Once housing becomes available, ask your wife to join you.
NOW, having gotten though the trials and tribulations of in processing post, getting familiar with a new unit process and leaders, finding daily plan that lets you be on time, in place, ready for the days duties, NOW you can add anther variable with a much higher chance of success.
Being a new SM in a unit is hard, stressful, and some times frustrating as you have so much to learn.
Being married is hard, stressful, and some times frustrating as you have so much to learn....adding that on top of the first is a fast way to failure.
Being a new Military wife is hard, stressful, and some times frustrating as you have so much to learn....adding that to your husband never being around, stressed out, and you having no support network as you left it at home, or last place you lived is a fast way to failure.

All of that comes from 28 years of observing SM in your exact position...and not back when muskets and horses were issued equipment, but recently history. That all comes from an Infantry SM that got married when he was a SGT, and stayed married to the same woman for the rest of his career, though schools, deployments his and hers, kids, deaths..IOW Im not reading from a manual how it is supposed to go down, Im telling you from experience how it will or can go down...

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2017 10:13 PM

2017-05-29T22:13:36-04:00

Dont

Response by SPC Larry Blizzard made May 31 at 2017 3:33 PM

2017-05-31T15:33:14-04:00

The military and marriage do not co exist

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 8 at 2017 6:54 PM

2017-06-08T18:54:58-04:00

PFC Chrisman take you time...