Any ideas for how to teach a subordinate E-5 tact?

WO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 17:06:06 -0400

I have a promoteable E-5 soldier who is technically and tactically proficient but, he lacks tactfulness and a diplomatic approach. To the point where he is losing the respect of his peers and subordinates. I'm looking for any ideas to help me teach him how to be better at it.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 20 at 2015 5:08 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 17:08:19 -0400

Honestly there's really no other way then brutal honesty. He has to know that he's losing support from his peers and subordinates, and that may spark him to want to change so that he doesn't lose that.

Response by SSG Izzy Abbass made Jul 20 at 2015 5:09 PM

SSG Izzy Abbass — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 17:09:23 -0400

I think you need to pull him aside and talk about the overall needs of leadership - tact being a valid part of it. I think you need to give him some examples of who to bring up things in a tactful manner and ask him if he would respond better to someone who demonstrates it or just rolls over him. Just a thought.

Response by SSG David McPherson made Jul 20 at 2015 5:23 PM

SSG David McPherson — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 17:23:23 -0400

He has to learn on his own, or you could tell the NCO you get more from honey than you do with vinegar and that respect goes both ways

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 20 at 2015 5:27 PM

CW2 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 17:27:03 -0400

better do it now than later

Response by SSG Dennis Ward made Jul 20 at 2015 5:28 PM

SSG Dennis Ward — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 17:28:11 -0400

I would say be brutally honest During the next counseling session. Good luck.

Response by SSG Keith Cashion made Jul 20 at 2015 5:36 PM

SSG Keith Cashion — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 17:36:20 -0400

You actually, answered your own question. But with some changes. " Wherein we discussed phrases that used that could've been better worded. Mannerism that he can address to convey proper body language etc. In my head I almost picture a school like lesson but, I don't feel it would be well received. Unfortunately most lessons on tact are simply stories of interactions with people." Change this too either a Platoon or Squad training event. Have the SGT (P) put the class together and conduct the training to the subordinates. One on one training can help, but if the Soldier is not in the receiving mode, you are talking to a wall. Let the Soldier give the class and when he gives you the training plan, make sure he hits on the areas that you think he could improve. Open forum with the subordiantes that he is leading will let him know what Tact is or isn't. Invite a few other NCO's that you know you are versed on Tact. You want this guy to understand, that there is a right time and place for all things, but tact is a constant. What senior NCO's do you have in the Unit or Installation does he want to Emulate...might be someone to ask if they have sometime, come and hear his class. Don't have to knock him down, but if he hears it from subordinates and seniors in a learning environment, it maybe better understood. Just a thought.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 20 at 2015 5:41 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 17:41:24 -0400

Some of the others have already hit the point but honesty is most important. You don't have to wait till his next counseling session to start. If you feel documenting is necessary use a 4856 in the interim until the next session. Take the time to identify specifics on when his behavior is unacceptable and ways he can be more diplomatic.
Set up scenarios based on his past actions and Play them out and highlight where he needed to use a different approach and how or what types of approach to use.
Monitor monitor monitor. Make on the spot corrections as you see them. For some people It is a personality trait and it has worked for him so you have to show him how a different approaches would be more effective.
Lastly try to find the root of it. What makes him lash out. Frustration, lack of training, motivation, stress. This will help you identify the emotions behind his actions. Use MRT. the ATC method sounds like it would be useful in this situation. Hope this helps.

Response by SSG Darian Jones made Jul 20 at 2015 5:59 PM

SSG Darian Jones — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 17:59:47 -0400

He should have learned tact before becoming a NCO. Verbally counsel him then if that doesn't work ,4856 Him with what is expect of him and his conduct.

Response by SSG Trevor S. made Jul 20 at 2015 6:38 PM

SSG Trevor S. — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 18:38:21 -0400

Create a paper trail that would be able to effect the NCO's NCOER. In initial counseling's assure the NCO that they will be able to positively effect the NCOER outcome if behavior changes. Mentor the NCO during this process and communicate with the NCO in a way that is a positive example, with tactful yet firm guidance. This will give your junior NCO the best path, best example, and will give you the ability to act on the situation at rating time if you still need to.

Response by SSG Malcolm "Chris" Canada made Jul 20 at 2015 7:46 PM

SSG Malcolm "Chris" Canada — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 19:46:16 -0400

It doesn't sound that he's ready to be an E6. The NCO Creed outlines it pretty clearly. "Officers of my unit will have the maximum time to accomplish their dutys; they will not have to accomplish mine. I will earn their respect and confidence as well as that of my soldiers." Perhaps teaching him to find meaning in that creed will improve his professional relationship with his soldiers.

It sounds to me that he's on the level of an experienced E4 but not an NCO. Perhaps an Event-Oreiented 4856 recommending to pull his promotable status. By doing this you may be strengthening him and your unit.

Response by SSG Paul Lanciault made Jul 20 at 2015 8:42 PM

SSG Paul Lanciault — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 20:42:13 -0400

Be the example first.

Response by SSG (ret) William Martin made Jul 20 at 2015 8:56 PM

SSG (ret) William Martin — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 20:56:03 -0400

WO1 Private RallyPoint Member, Have you considered in a private session treating him the same way he treats others? When it comes down it, he it sounds like he is exhibiting some antisocial conduct.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 20 at 2015 9:40 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 21:40:26 -0400

The big question here is: Does he get it? Have you thought about a role play in which his actions are replayed for him, so he can see how others view him? The change you're looking to make in this soldier has to come from within the soldier. I commend you for your effort to help this soldier so that he will have a more positive career.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 20 at 2015 10:16 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 22:16:51 -0400

I'm a natural at tactfulness. In all seriousness, all he needs to do is work on his tone to make it sound more neutral. Also, don't forget to place a slight giggle within your questions/responses when addressing a superior/peer/subordinate, etc; with something that normally would piss you off. And ALWAYS, ALWAYS follow with Sir or Ma'am. I hope this makes sense, as it has never gotten me trouble. Also, Youtube University helps.

Response by SSG Gerald King made Jul 20 at 2015 11:18 PM

SSG Gerald King — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 23:18:10 -0400

I would be brutally honest and tell him that if he doesn't change, his chances for advancement are very slim at best. Ideally, you can provide him of some examples where he could have handled a situation better. But, don't sugar coat it. Remember, you are doing this for his benefit and to better serve those both above and below him. His is setting a bad example for those he is responsible for. When I was awarded my MSM, one of the attributes noted was my "application of tact and diplomacy to insure the smooth functioning of his organization"

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 21 at 2015 6:29 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 21 Jul 2015 06:29:34 -0400

SSG Kreisz,

I am currently dealing with the same situation and we've made leaps and bounds. I will give the approach I used and you can tweak it however you see fit. I have the Soldier follow me and make mental notes on how I interact with other MOS's and Soldiers (as long as the SM allows them to be there). Then we discuss what the Soldier noted. This is a very important step because it gives you insight as to what the Soldier thinks is priority and how he thinks about the specific scenario. Do this several times. Once you see the Soldiers mentality start to change and he grasping the concept of tact now you start to tackle situations together. Do this until you see the lightbulb turn on about 3/4 of the way. Then you have to let him fly the coup and but this stage he's got it. In summery its I Do, We Do and You Do!

I hope this helps you....

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 21 at 2015 9:28 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 21 Jul 2015 21:28:11 -0400

SSG Matthew Kreisz I hope all turns out well for you and your E-5 promotable Soldier as well.

Response by SSG Willis Baker made Jul 22 at 2015 1:45 AM

SSG Willis Baker — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 01:45:44 -0400

Everyone has good comments on this issue. How long has he been an E-5? Was he promoted to E-5 under you?
If this has been going on for a while, he needs shock & Awe treatment. This treatment usually comes from the 1SG. Fifteen minutes with the first shirt and you may start to see an improvement on his part. The respect from others will take time.

Response by SSG Justin McCarrell made Jul 22 at 2015 6:09 AM

SSG Justin McCarrell — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 06:09:42 -0400

Counseling. Make him look up the word tact because maybe your explanation isn't working. You can also have a squad meeting and let the rest of the troops tell him what he is doing that bothers them. Make sure they have no worry of repercussion from the discussion. Sometimes it is important to just have an informal, no holds barred discussion amongst team members to get a point across. When I was still in I knew plenty of new NCO's that were on big power trips after they got pinned. Another idea would be to make up a situation and ask him how he would handle it. If it isn't the desired result then you show him how it should be handled. It's a tough thing to teach and sometimes you just got to let them fall on their own face before they learn. Being he doesn't have that tact and seems to see things only as black and white then I wouldn't promote him. If he already has that promotable status then there isn't much you can do. Just try whatever approaches make sense to you and hope for the best. Things will come to a head eventually and the senior leadership will fix him if you can't.

Response by SSG John Gillespie made Jul 22 at 2015 10:34 AM

SSG John Gillespie — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 10:34:15 -0400

First and foremost, understand that tactful communication is an issue of respect. A lot of junior NCOs lose sight of the fact that respect goes both ways and that it can be easily lost by not treating a subordinate with basic respect.

Response by SSG John Dettmann made Jul 23 at 2015 1:01 AM

SSG John Dettmann — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 01:01:33 -0400

Continuous mentorship and counseling on your part can win the day brother. If you have to pull him off to the side or to another room and spell out what he is doing wrong as you see him doing it. Most of my leaders did that with me and eventually it took hold and I improved. The one thing that you will have to remember as well it that he will not change unless he is made to see that he is doing wrong and needs to change.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 23 at 2015 6:06 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 18:06:47 -0400

Send him to recruiting. That boosted my interpersonal skills through the roof.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 24 at 2015 5:45 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 05:45:33 -0400

You need to be direct and to the point. There are multiple aspects of being a Non-Commissioned Officer and if he can't correct his malfunction then take his promotable status away.

Response by SSG Jeffrey Landry made Aug 2 at 2015 3:59 PM

SSG Jeffrey Landry — Sun, 02 Aug 2015 15:59:25 -0400

give the Soldier the LEADERSHIP fm and high lite areas of concern in the fm. Tell the Soldiers there are many ways to lead but a good combination of the three basic ones will give the Soldier the understanding of what it means to lead

Response by SSG James Iversen made Aug 6 at 2015 1:27 PM

SSG James Iversen — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 13:27:48 -0400

The fact that he is promote able already tells him that there is nothing wrong with his behavior. If his tact was an issue, it should have been addressed before he was ever boarded. That being said, counseling as always. I have ways been a verbal guy, so sit him down and be blunt, explain it. If u need more experience in the room, maybe involve the plt Sgt or 1sg in the discussion. If it doesn't improve, then u have 4856's.