All of us in the military have experienced thanks from the nation. But it is time to move on. Do You Agree With This?

2015-07-16T11:06:09-04:00

It ain’t what happens here that’s important. It’s what’s happening back there. Lieutenant, you’d hardly know there’s a war on. It’s in the papers, and the college kids run around screaming about it, but that’s it. Airplane drivers still drive their airplanes. Businessmen still run their businesses. College kids still go to college. It’s like nothing really happened, except to other people. It isn’t touching anybody but us. —Staff Sergeant Gilliland, “Fields of Fire,” by James Webb.

http://thefederalist.com/2015/07/16/3-reasons-to-stop-thanking-me-for-my-military-service/?utm_source=The+Federalist+List&utm_campaign=039812d8eb-RSS_The_Federalist_Daily_Updates_w_Transom&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_cfcb868ceb-039812d8eb-83810921

3 Reasons To Stop Thanking Me For My Military Service

All of us in military uniform have experienced the reflexive thanks of the nation. But it is now time for all of us to move on.

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Jul 16 at 2015 11:19 AM

2015-07-16T11:19:48-04:00

After the reception we got from many (not all) when we returned from Viet Nam I make certain that to the best of my ability it will not happen to today's returning veterans. At the same time, I feel mildly embarrassed when others thank me for my service - that ship sailed decades ago.

Response by SSgt Donnavon Smith made Jul 16 at 2015 11:27 AM

2015-07-16T11:27:45-04:00

"Take note: most of us are somewhat ashamed of our lack of combat. No matter what you did, someone in the highly competitive combat-arms military has done more. Go and read the interviews with the shy young men who have been awarded the Medal of Honor in the past few years (can you name even one?). Every one of them, to a man, says the exact same thing: I didn’t do anything unusual. I could have done more."

^THIS!

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 16 at 2015 11:43 AM

2015-07-16T11:43:02-04:00

This is a great discussion but not an easy question to answer.

A few things stand out to me specifically. The comment that everyone is currently serving has volunteered is 100% correct, but I don't know that it has a bearing on whether or not thanks is deserved/should be proffered. Even if it does have a sway, does that make the thanks more or less appropriate? The second thing in focus is a draft being reinstated, which has merit and detraction. The third thing that stands out to me is the discussion about service as a whole by the nation and those giving the "thanks."

To some military service is a calling, to others a job, and to a select few, an ultimatum. We all serve for different reasons and for some it was by far the best life choice that could be made, and for others it was truly a sacrifice compared to their potential monetarily. Should the person who is serving honorably and doing their job be judged for the reason they entered in the first place? My answer to that is a tentative "no." Perhaps a discussion for another time, but someone who volunteers to serve is to a certain extent serving "out of the goodness of their hearts." There is a reason that we give volunteers in other aspects awards for the same thing that someone else does, but only because they were ordered to do. In this respect I don't think that being an all volunteer force should lower whether thanks is merited, and in fact should actually increase it.

A draft being instated so that everyone has a chance to serve if a conflict arises is realistically unrealistic. Are there benefits to this approach that may "slow our roll" in declaring war or engaging in conflict? Absolutely. Are there huge hurdles to overcome and all kinds of issues that pop up that may make it more pain than gain? Again, absolutely. As mentioned in the article, current service members themselves are some of the largest opponents of a reinstated draft, and having to deal with people who don't want to be there causes more problems than the increased pool will solve.

The question arises about what those thanking you are doing themselves. Does thanking, or flying a flag, or confessing, absolve them from the guilt they feel at not serving themselves? To a certain extent, probably. Is that necessarily a bad thing? Not in my humble opinion. However, I do believe everyone should serve in come capacity to better their nation. Whether that be through civil service of some kind, volunteer work, military service, or some other action, the nation would be better for it and so would our work force. We are not as strong of a nation as we could be, and a little contribution from everyone in this arena would make a huge difference. Here is the problem though, I am a huge proponent of required service but I don't think it will/can be implemented effectively at this stage in our nation's history, and it will only get harder as time goes on unless there is another world war which would make the transition more plausible. In short I like the idea but I don't think it will happen.

My personal opinion on the thanks is that it makes me feel uncomfortable. It makes me wonder if the person thanking me has done more for the nation than I have. It makes me wonder if the person thanking me thinks I have recently been in harms way. It makes me sad that I have not been in harms way. It actually makes me feel guilty for not being on the front line taking bullets for those beside and behind me. It also makes me proud. Regardless of how I have spent my time in the service, I have given everything I can to it and I did not join for selfish reasons. What makes me most uncomfortable is that I don't like being praised for anything. I don't want recognition. I don't like award ceremonies. I want to serve my nation and I want to make the world a better place through my actions, but I almost feel that the "reward" aspects of that cheapen my service. I typically don't ask if places have a military discount. To be clear I think that military discounts are great things and that we should take advantage of them as service members, I just personally feel conflicted when taking advantage of them. "Thanks" are hard to deal with and cause a wide variety of responses. Regardless of how I feel immediately it does let me know that the nation is behind us as service members regardless of whether they are behind the government. That is an important distinction that Vietnam vets did not have the benefit of knowing.

We all respond to thanks in a different way. I smile, I say thank you back, and I try to do something that day that helps to make that thanks deserved.

Response by PO1 John Miller made Jul 16 at 2015 12:04 PM

2015-07-16T12:04:24-04:00

I definitely agree with the message of the article. Thanks for sharing brother!

Response by COL Mikel J. Burroughs made Jul 16 at 2015 12:10 PM

2015-07-16T12:10:22-04:00

SGT Private RallyPoint Member There was no war going on when I volunteered to enlist back in 1975. There were a lot of people that hated the military and California was not one of the greatest States to start your military career in back in those days. I loved serving my country and would do it again whether or not there was war going on. If they called me back today I would say when, where, and what time! I don't need to be thanked, but I enjoying thanking those who served and gave up most of their adult life, those who have come back (with less than what they left with), and those who gave everything! I don't need to be thanked! I feel good inside and feel good about me as an individual and what I could do for my children, their children and on an on!

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 16 at 2015 12:16 PM

2015-07-16T12:16:47-04:00

I do agree with it. I'm tired of reliving the Year of the Entitled Veteran.

Response by PO3 Tommy Raths made Jul 16 at 2015 12:19 PM

2015-07-16T12:19:28-04:00

Hell we got laughed at in Uniform at the Air ports when i was in . Couldn't even get a job after getting out . Times were way different back then . Was told I'm not a Veteran only WWII are Veterans . 2 years ago I was floored some one behind me Bought my dinner and then said Thank you for you're Service ! it was around the 30th from when our Barracks were blown up in Beirut 23-October-1983, That was the first time i heard those words .

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 16 at 2015 12:22 PM

2015-07-16T12:22:34-04:00

Was all set to toss BS flag on this.....but will say I have to agree with number 2 and 3.

However when it comes to number 1:

The fact that we are a volunteer force does not make our actions any less significant......if anything it makes the fact that we volunteered that much more worth being thanked for. After all everyone in the last 15 plus years who has voluntarily joined the service joined in a time of war knowing that it was not if they were going to get tasked to fight but when. This is the first generation of career military folks who joined knowing they were going to war.....I was never so amazed or impressed than when my son joined knowing that he would be deployed to Afghanistan with-in the first two years in service.....he is now a SSgt with 4 deployments under his belt and going strong.....how can we not thank these volunteers for stepping into our shoes and into harms way for us, our families, and our country.

Otherwise very enlightening article.

Response by SN Greg Wright made Jul 16 at 2015 12:32 PM

2015-07-16T12:32:41-04:00

I always get uncomfortable when someone says it to me, because my time was 23 years ago, so there's some sense of 'it's not my turn anymore'. But I agree with the general gist of that article, particularly #2 and #3.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 16 at 2015 12:48 PM

2015-07-16T12:48:17-04:00

This article bothers me tremendously. Not because I believe that I deserve thanks from the civilian populace, but because this is a self-hating veteran who is essentially spitting in the face of every civilian who is grateful for his service. “Thanking veterans for what they represent lets you off the hook for what you have—or haven’t—done”, how much more insulting towards the civilian populace can you get? Just because HE never saw combat then no service member deserves gratitude? He is a spoiled and ungrateful child, just look at his comment “Every time I am thanked for my service, I stop myself from asking, ‘And what about yours?’.”
He is arguing against basic civility. By his reasoning why do we thank anyone for anything? The person who bought you a present? They chose to, therefore they do not deserve your thanks. The server who brought you your food? They didn’t cook it, so they don’t deserve your gratitude. He is definitely a prime example of the Entitled Generation.
On a side note notice how even though he is an officer he hides behind an enlisted uniform for his diatribe.

Response by MSG Floyd Williams made Jul 16 at 2015 1:07 PM

2015-07-16T13:07:13-04:00

When people respect our military and veterans it is all the thanks I need.

Response by SCPO David Lockwood made Jul 16 at 2015 1:11 PM

2015-07-16T13:11:22-04:00

Great Artivle. Thanks for sharing!

Response by SGM Steve Wettstein made Jul 16 at 2015 1:11 PM

2015-07-16T13:11:38-04:00

Here's a follow up question. When someone says thank you for your service, what do you say?
I don't say your welcome. The only thing that I say is Yes Sir/Ma'am.
Sorry for piggy backing your thread SGT Private RallyPoint Member.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 16 at 2015 1:27 PM

2015-07-16T13:27:50-04:00

I think the opinion about war has always been in waves. People favored WWII but have shown disgust for Vietnam and Iraq. The treatment of the troops has also varied depending on the time and where they were. I also think the thanks has gone a little too far and some people it has become an automatic response to seeing someone in uniform. Now that there are fewer troops in the Middle East/afghan, it's becoming passé to report on it.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jul 16 at 2015 2:04 PM

2015-07-16T14:04:32-04:00

The sanguine endeavor by the military to prosecute the wars have little fanfare. There exists a disconnect with the public as they infrequently entertain the notion we are prosecuting the wars. The government has a disconnect as well as they are incapable of expounding on the end state, albeit it, they give use limitations on the war campaigns. I trust the military on the ground have a love and trust for each other, when all else failed them.

Response by TSgt Liza Kazee made Jul 16 at 2015 2:23 PM

2015-07-16T14:23:53-04:00

While I am unomfortable with the thanks I receive, I would much rather receive it than being spit on or called names. How is a civilian to know who is or is not a combat veteran? I think the most appropriate thing to do is acknowledge their thanks and move on. Do I deserve to be thanked for volunteering to join the military, or for being injured in combat, or for any of the other minute things I did while AD? Probably not, but the thanks they are giving isn't for me, it's for my brothers and sisters in arms, it's for those who came before me and those who will come after, it's for those who came home after being at war and were spit on. The least I can do is say thank you.

Response by Cpl Dennis F. made Jul 16 at 2015 3:02 PM

2015-07-16T15:02:21-04:00

I had to read this with both the perspective of "here and now" and then and there" In that context I have to both agree and disagree. The writers perspective seems to unintentionally and partially trivialize Viet vets, lumping a large portion of us volunteers into the draft military. That and I really have to say it "He wasn't there": either RVN or here at home and has no idea how pervasive the contempt for us was from friends to WWII vets, right into the doors of the VA and the government itself.
All that said. I'm starting to hear "thanks for your service" from varied people enough that some of it is downright creepy. I was on a rifle range last weekend concentrated on getting a 200 yard zero, when some little girl of about 10 came up and mumbled "thank you for your service" I had to ask her to repeat herself. At the moment it didn't dawn on me to look around for mom or dad that probably prodded her into it. She was too young to pull any understanding from my hat "Marine veteran" and the "Vietnam combat" brim. I know dam well she learned nothing of it from school, as nothing is taught. Coming to the conclusion that she was told to say it was truly weird. I have to admit that after all these years I have become real comfortable with the silence.

Response by PO1 Michael G. made Jul 16 at 2015 4:55 PM

2015-07-16T16:55:29-04:00

SGT Private RallyPoint Member By and large, I think that when civilians approach service members and veterans to thank them for their service it is largely about that person feeling good about themselves, rather than genuine appreciation for the sacrifices that are made by service members.

In my own experience, I have had strangers come up to me and make a big to-do about all the sacrifices "we've" made. I put that in quotation marks because I've been in the Navy for a year, and the only thing that I have done was go to boot camp, and then ten months of school in Connecticut. The only practical difference between me and college student was that I didn't get to choose my outfits each day (also, I got paid).

With all that said, I don't mean to sound down on myself. I am proud to be a third generation Sailor, but I am put ill-at-ease when I get an over-the-top thanks from a stranger. I would much rather see that person make some sort of effort to support veterans who need it, or at least write a letter to their Congressman to make a real effort at veteran care improvement.

Response by Lt Col Timothy Parker, DBA made Jul 16 at 2015 5:02 PM

2015-07-16T17:02:12-04:00

Maybe it should be toned down a bit, but its still worth saying a word of thanks for those willing to serve. To paraphrase a passage from Bob Gates book Duty, we should be thankful for those willing to do violence on behalf of others so they may sleep peacefully at night. Just my humble opinion.

Response by Cpl Christopher Bishop made Jul 16 at 2015 7:15 PM

2015-07-16T19:15:13-04:00

There is a difference between civilians desiring to show some appreciation (which should be encouraged), and military/veterans demanding it. I will always applaud the former, and be disgusted by the latter.

That said, many from the Vietnam era not only got ZERO in positivity, they got ridiculous amounts of negativity from people back home. That should have gone to FedGov Democrats who sent them in the first place, and drafted many more for the same.

All gave some, some gave all...blame the politicians of the era.

Response by PO3 Aj Grieves made Jul 16 at 2015 7:33 PM

2015-07-16T19:33:01-04:00

I don't believe anybody who signed above the dotted line and finished with at least 4 honorable years should feel ashamed because our government chose not to use them in a combat situation. Just because my heart sinks and tears may flow when I hear about the soldier that payed the ultimate price, doesn't mean I'm any less proud of the service men and women who escaped their time without combat experience.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 16 at 2015 8:35 PM

2015-07-16T20:35:52-04:00

I make it a point to thank veterans, military currently serving, police, firefighters, EMS, anyone who does a job most people don't want to do. A job where they give of themselves, not expecting gratitude. It embarrasses my wife sometimes, but I don't care.

Response by PFC Daniel Cox made Jul 16 at 2015 9:21 PM

2015-07-16T21:21:24-04:00

I think being from a brotherhood like most military units is we only care what the man on either side of you thinks and you do look for outside thanks. I wish I had combat experience but I just didn't get the chance but my embarrassment over lack of combat doesn't mean I will discourage people from thanking veterans. I use to work at a VA hospital in Maine with a great group of vets. Even though we cleaned floors and took out trash we always made a point to talk to the patients and on the holidays we would sneak them food plates from the office party. One day while doing a trash run I was joined by a handsome young man on the elevator. He couldn't have been more then 20 years old and he had lost both arms and legs. The young man saw my Marine Corp pin on my shirt and thanked me for my service and with a great big smile said " even if your are a jar head!" I of course thanked him for his service and we joked till we got to the lobby. I couldn't help but think wow that's true bravery! He had more right then anyone to hate the world but he lives his life. I think those veterans are the ones who don't get thanked enough and not just by words but by top of the line medical treatment. That young shows that the military nurtures character and that Washington could learn a thing or two about honor, courage, commitment. God bless all who serve.

Response by SPC Andrew Griffin made Jul 17 at 2015 11:15 AM

2015-07-17T11:15:02-04:00

It will never be time to move on! Because the SERVICE in some way will continue! But the SACRIFICE alone will always LIVE Eternal!

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 17 at 2015 2:51 PM

2015-07-17T14:51:15-04:00

When the nation, as a whole, stops appreciating the military, then there will be an end to the military. Personally I feel a mixture of embarrassment and pride when I am thanked in public for my service--embarrassment because I'm just doing my job, and pride because my hard work is appreciated. Even more importantly, and the reason that I think the vocal public thanks is a good thing, is that I know my brothers and sisters in arms that gave their lives did so for an appreciative country. Would we have fought anyway? Definitely. This widespread support for the troops which has built over the past decade or so is a great change from the public ostrasizing of troops returning from Vietnam. While they, nor we, feel like we are owed thanks, we are all human beings and affirmations of support are so much more uplifting than being targets of epithets and hatred for our role in unpopular wars.

Response by PFC Scott Ballor made Jul 17 at 2015 4:21 PM

2015-07-17T16:21:04-04:00

yea they do nopt care anyway, it took a Peresident to remind them, i did it out of duty and protection of my family and friends, that is why my daughters never came home late and their boyfriends do not think of pissing my kids off, they saw my military stuff!

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 17 at 2015 5:29 PM

2015-07-17T17:29:56-04:00

I think it is quite alright that people continue to thank Service Members for what they do. I'll bet there are a lot of Veterans out there that would like to have had just a couple “thank you for your service” comments instead of what they experienced during Vietnam. People should know a little history and accept these gestures of gratitude and support.
What we do is critical to the strength of this nation. The percentage of people who actually serve is minimal to start with. Keeping the Service Members relevant to the public is critical. Everybody who gets a “Thank you for your service” should express gratitude and continue to represent the Armed Forces with pride. We are the Ambassadors of this country, not only to other nations, but within our own Nation.

Response by PO3 Jody Wangen made Jul 18 at 2015 10:17 PM

2015-07-18T22:17:51-04:00

things like what just happened in Chattanooga the other day makes people realize you are in danger. they are thanking you for being willing to put yourself in that situation. or seeing their friends and relatives that are in. or remembering their own their time in. or the people they knew that did not come back. it is not just about you. some of them actually know. or remember.

Response by PO3 Jody Wangen made Jul 18 at 2015 10:20 PM

2015-07-18T22:20:22-04:00

and you would be surprised how many actually care. and how many are praying for you. just say thank you for your support.

Response by COL Charles Williams made Jul 19 at 2015 12:05 AM

2015-07-19T00:05:07-04:00

Very interesting. I get thanked often, and we live in a military community. I go out of my way SGT Private RallyPoint Member to thank Vietnam, Korea, and WWII Vets. The article makes sense, but folks are just trying to do the right thing. When we travel with Cadets in uniform (JROTC = HS) many folks thank them, for their service... People are just trying to do what is right, and we can't fault them for that.

Response by Sgt Jerami Ballard made Jul 19 at 2015 5:03 AM

2015-07-19T05:03:52-04:00

More often than not when somebody says that to me, I look them in the eyes and sincerely ask, "For what?" It's not something that directly affected you unless you served with me or a friend. I chose to do it because I wanted to and I knew what I am capable of. At the end of the day, my service is for both the servicemembers I fought with and the ones I trained, mentored, chastised, corrected, and ultimately passed the torch to.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 20 at 2015 6:21 PM

2015-07-20T18:21:12-04:00

"Take note: most of us are somewhat ashamed of our lack of combat. I am a combat veteran. I wish that I was not. I missed 12 birthdays and 4 wedding anniversaries, I would trade the patch on my soldier to get them back. Be extremely careful thinking that to be a soldier you need to have been in combat, that is poison of the mind. I serve with and alongside people that were 5 years old when the Towers came down and I am proud of everyone of them and I am glad to serve with them. I do not look at a soldiers shoulder or chest to see their worth I look at their heart and their actions. I do not judge a book by its cover. You article is shameful, but I will defend to the death your right to think so flawed.

Response by SSgt Randy Saulsberry made Jul 20 at 2015 9:00 PM

2015-07-20T21:00:01-04:00

I personally don't like to be thanked. The main reason is because i wasn't infantry, or even on the ground side. I was in the air wing side of the Corps. So the times I did do combat deployments I was never in any danger. I used this analogy to explain to friends and family how little danger I was in during combat. I would say, "I am an avionics technician. there is a saying in the Marine Corps, in the rear with the gear. well I will be behind the gear. For me to be in danger the enemy will have to completely destroy the entire infantry, artillery, special ops, mortar men, the FOBs, sam sites, patriot sites, the persons guarding the base im on, and then attack us. By then we would have already packed and left to a base even further away to conduct operations in support of whatever infantry was left. the second reason i feel people shouldn't thank me or most sevice members is because most people don't enlist to serve the country. Most join for some sort of economic benefit (College, paycheck, etc...). I joined because i wanted to get out of the hood in Memphis and that was the easy way to do it. So to me unless you were in a combat zone or were getting shot at or mortared, you need to get over yourself and quit pretending to be this patriotic hero who joined to protect the country. In my 16yrs in the military I can count on one hand the number of people i met that joined just to serve.

Response by LTC E. Steven Creech made Jul 23 at 2015 12:49 PM

2015-07-23T12:49:33-04:00

No need for a hearty handshake anymore.... a smile of respect will do

Response by SGT Scott Curtice made Jul 23 at 2015 1:22 PM

2015-07-23T13:22:20-04:00

I don't think it needs to stop, wouldn't want it to, but from my point of view, the real issue is bigger. You want to truly show thanks, pay attention to issues like the VA health care system, no excuse for the government to allow this, but it's been in place since I got out in '99 on a medical for a spinal issue, the wars under Bush increased the need for services, yet those weren't met, it's a cultural issue, it's more about meeting your budget so you can get you big bonus, sorry ranting, I'd like people to not thank me for my service on Memorial Day, but think of those that gave their lives in service of our country. Would like people to pay attention to arguments around food stamps, understanding we have soldiers feeding their families with them, it's not mainly an issue for lazy people. I'd like people to have never to allow the Bush administration to ban pictures of soldiers that lost their lives as they returned to the country, desensitizing us. There is a price to war, and we shouldn't hide it. I think that someone thanks me for my 12 years, and I'm nice about it, except on Memorial Day :), but I'm also feeling it's a hollow thank you when i think about it

Response by SSgt David Swart made Aug 2 at 2015 4:37 PM

2015-08-02T16:37:27-04:00

I find it strange to be thanked for my service, I served in the early 70's during Vietnam I was never in Vietnam. While I was serving and after I was discharged we never got any thanks for anything and now after 40 years it just feels strange!

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 6 at 2015 2:32 AM

2015-08-06T02:32:14-04:00

I have never expected any one to say thank you for my service .
I feel uncomfortable when they say it . I never felt I did the things that were things that people knew about or cared about.
I have always felt thankful for the years, I was privileged to have served.
I only wish I could have served longer 73 to 94 was not long enough.
All I think about is the friends I lost and what I felt I could have done differently . I only wish to have my friends back and wish I could have done something to have earned a Thank you from them .
I can never move on as long as I can still see and remember those friends who were lost.