What are the potential consequences for refusing to go to ALC, or asking for a later date, due to my wife's due date?

2024-06-02T23:05:40-04:00

I just got selected to attend ALC phase 2 August of this year. my wife is pregnant and is due on the 29th of August . Is there a way I can refuse to go or get a different date ? If so what are the consequences for this action ?

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 2 at 2024 11:27 PM

2024-06-02T23:27:22-04:00

If you refuse, that's not good. Get with your Schools NCO to see if you can get a deferment

Response by COL Randall C. made Jun 3 at 2024 8:53 AM

2024-06-03T08:53:29-04:00

SGT Private RallyPoint Member - You can request a compassionate deferment.

'Refusal' will potentially have lots of bad ramifications for you (possible impacts could be loss of promotable status, BAR to continued service, NJP, etc.) - the decision on adverse actions will be up to your leadership so it's impossible to say "this will happen to you" with great accuracy.

As MSG Private RallyPoint Member said, "not good".

Scheduling for ALC is centrally managed*, so requests for deferment go to HRC. You'll submit a PAR in IPPS-A and route it through the first GO/SES in your chain of command (see HRC's sample PAR* below) for endorsement/approval.

As part of the deferment request, an alternate course or availability will have to be identified.
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* NCOES Course Scheduling Procedures - https://home.army.mil/liberty/application/files/7616/6601/8241/MILPER_Message_Number_22-375_NCOES_Scheduling.pdf
* NCOES deferment request - https://www.hrc.army.mil/wcmt-api/sites/default/wcmtfiles/files/19233_0.pdf

MILPER_Message_Number_22-375_NCOES_Scheduling.pdf

Response by SSgt Christophe Murphy made Jun 3 at 2024 9:58 AM

2024-06-03T09:58:44-04:00

So as the Wise Sages have already said you need to request a deferment. The only thing extra I have to add is to debunk the myth you can deny/refuse orders. Technically yes, you have the option to Deny/refuse orders but if you do you will tie your tail in a knot quicker than you could imagine. Up becomes down, friends become enemies and you slide to the bottom of the totem pole real quick. Every Servicemember I ever knew who rang that bell eventually regretted the decision.

Response by SFC Kelly Fuerhoff made Jun 3 at 2024 12:00 PM

2024-06-03T12:00:52-04:00

Go to schools to request a deferment. If it's denied then you're going. If you don't go, it won't be good for your career.

It's possible you can get it deferred though.

Response by SSG Eric Blue made Jun 3 at 2024 8:23 PM

2024-06-03T20:23:13-04:00

I wouldn't recommend refusal. Your Schools NCO would have a better answer, though. Get with them and see if they can defer your school date. My wife was pregnant during WLC.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 4 at 2024 2:40 PM

2024-06-04T14:40:19-04:00

I was in the same boat when I went to BLC. I just requested a deferment and they shipped me a month later.

Response by MAJ Byron Oyler made Jun 4 at 2024 3:14 PM

2024-06-04T15:14:52-04:00

What other support system does your wife have? As a parent there are certain milestones you feel you have be there for and then as your children get older you find out what is really important. Neither one of my children care that I was there for their births or that kids turned two and four while in Korea. Hurts to this day that year apart but as a father, my 12 and 14yo are more interested in having me around now than those big events when little.The first time they walked or talked, none of us in the house could tell you the date but I guarantee my son remembers the last time we went flying (he wants to be a commercial pilot) or the last time we went hunting and shooting. The take home here is, have a discussion with your wife, look at your support systems for her, and make an educated decsion. Your child is not going to care if you are there and if the Army is a career for you, completing this course ASAP maybe your best option. Once I made all the rank I needed to retire, my family became my focus. Pissed a few O6s off along the way but I didnt care as I could put my family first when my children could remember me putting them first. I am looking to take a new job that changes things up when home with my children and guess who I discussed this with? My oldest that it matters most to.
We fail to discuss with newer parents good planning and what children really notice and care about. I have seen males delay paternity leave until their wife was done with maternity leave. Mom got to go do her thing while dad got to do his thing and the child got twice as long with the parents after birth. If your wife has a great support system at birth when everyone wants to come, maybe when all that excitement goes away is when you need to be there to help. Jus some thoughts.

Response by SPC David C. made Jun 7 at 2024 1:18 PM

2024-06-07T13:18:42-04:00

Will it impact your career? Possibly. Will your wife ever forget it? Nope. At the end of the day, when you're on your death bed, do you really think the army will be there? No, it'll be your family, close friends, and possibly a few close buddies you served with. There are a lot of justified reasons to miss the birth of your child, a training course you can get a later date for isn't one of them. Don't get me wrong, the military and your career are important. But when every thing is said and done, you're just a number to them. Another easily replaceable cog in the machine.