What's the funniest thing you heard come out of a leaders mouth? (warning - may not be G-rated)

Our CC was giving our Sat evening formation brief on the eve of daylight savings time switch - in the fall - so clocks went back an hour - meaning 1 extra hour of sleep! So he made it crystal clear that NOBODY should be late for 0715 formation in the morning - and - if you were, you would be filling sandbags all morning. Sure enough, there was only one person missing in the morning formation - the CC!!! I called him @ 0700 hoping he was close because he was usually there by 7 - and - I woke him up! Needless to say, he was true to his word and went to fill sandbags - by himself! It was hilarious!

Bieng assined to a two star hqtrs, drill and ceremony was just about forgotten. When we required be in change of comman pass and review, practice was in order. An ltc was leading and was doing ok with his commands unti he could not .remember "halt". So he yelled out Hippity hop, all troops stop.

Back to the days of the cold war… Inter-German border defense Fulda Gap.

I was the fire support officer to a Divisional Cavalry Squadron assigned a mission on the border. The USAREUR commander (and staff) were reviewing the border mission, the staff of each element went to their primary location along the border and the USARER staff trooped from one location to the next to receive an operations brief.

We were waiting the arrival of the commander and his entourage, our Squadron Commander and the CSM were standing together with the S3, while the rest of us stood about 20 feet away. It’s a cold misty morning in Germany, when a jeep pulls up to our position. Out steps a lanky old Colonel, (11th ARC commander) he looks at the gaggle of junior officers and says “If you don’t love this shit, you gotta be queer!” We all stood there, not knowing how to respond/react.