Do you ever feel like your Civilian counterparts don't "Get it"?

Going on seven years off AD, I'm just now starting to "get" the way they think in CivCorp...I think the primary differences are summed up like this:

1) Civilians are used to compromise. From jobs to relationships, everything is about "getting by". They value conflict avoidance over conflict mastery.

2) Military people "peak" early in terms of their self-assessment. I mean c'mon, at 35, you're carrying more responsibility as an NCO or mid-grade officer than most executives in the private sector (at abysmally lower pay). We can't ever really seem to get used to being "demoted" for life.

3) Back in the recesses of their minds, civilians wanted to be us...at least just a little. Why do you think "adventure" tourism is so big? There's always going to be that feeling of "one-ups-manship" that kinda makes you feel like you have to keep "defending" your past exploits from the guy in the cubicle next door whose sporting his latest purchase from Troy Industries or running "Tough Mudder" next month.

I think it gets "easier" as you go along, but only because the realization kicks in that you're not quite what you were at 25 anymore. Since I left, my whole life's changed; I'm married to a woman I love more than life itself, expecting my first-born son this winter, and finally somewhere in my civilian career where I feel I matter. I've gained twenty pounds and lost some skill sets...but I'm at peace with the fact that somewhere, deep inside, is that same kid who did some pretty awesome stuff.

The chasm is real there is no doubt about it. Even my oldest son who just left active duty in the Marines (still in the reserves) says he cannot relate to any of the friends he had growing up or just civilians in general. I tell him to recognize that the gap exists because you have had experiences and have done things they have not and likely will not.

Use the gap to your advantage because it is an advantage. Those gaps are things like discipline, focus, attention to detail, judgment, leadership and a score of others. You have them, they do not. It is an advantage and you cannot undo it nor should you want to.

It's why the saying "you can never go home" exists. You grew differently than they did. You're experiences are so contextually different, and it makes it harder to connect. The expectations you had placed on you are from one set, while the expectations placed on them were from a different set.

You are essentially a "foreigner" in your own country. The language you speak is "similar" much like English English and American English are similar. The Customs are "similar" but there is just enough difference that you are constantly translating. Like a child who speaks English fluently as a second language. Every now and then something weird will come out, like "roll of inches" instead of "tape measure."