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As a cadet, I've struggled with developing tact. Whenever I try to say something, as hard as I try, I feel like I come off sounding like a jerk. What are some steps to developing the type of tact needed for the military? Sometimes you need to be direct and loud and you need to get things done in a hurry. Where's the line?
Posted in these groups: 
Leadership Development
ROTC
Leadership Development ROTC
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 30
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Great question. You deserve credit for asking. This one was tough for me to develop to where I am.
1. Remember (and truly believe) that you do not know everything.
2. Always put yourself in the other persons' position.
3. Think twice before you speak.
4. Seek feedback (in private) from a trusted peer or senior enlisted advisor.
1. Remember (and truly believe) that you do not know everything.
2. Always put yourself in the other persons' position.
3. Think twice before you speak.
4. Seek feedback (in private) from a trusted peer or senior enlisted advisor.
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You'll find the right method over time, given plenty of opportunities to practice. I wouldn't stress too much about it at this point. Just don't be so quick to talk when you are given the chance. Quickly think about what you want to say, then rephrase it before you say it out loud. Also, listen to other people's tone and demeanor, and try to follow their lead. You can also ask for feedback from people that you trust and/or admire. Best of luck to you.
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MAJ (Join to see)
Cadet Meaux, The advice above is excellent. I would only add that you be aware of how your words, tone and demeanor impact the receiver of your message. Adjust your delivery as appropriate given the situation and mission. You and the other cadets are in learning mode, try to gain as much experience as possible while leading in varied conditions.
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Learn to empathize with the people around you, CPT (Join to see), and practice seeing and hearing yourself the way that they do. Subtle changes in your choice of words can trigger huge changes in how they are perceived, and surprisingly few people take the extra step of thinking, "How will they react if I say this?"
Compare these different ways of reacting to a mistake:
================================
Where was your head at?
That just blew our safety margin!
We can't afford another mistake like that!
Everybody makes mistakes, but that really cost us!
Okay, deep breaths! We can do this. That was our learning curve, a little rough, but now the choice is to get it perfect or go home. Right?
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When you can understand and discuss views that you viscerally disagree with, then you will know how to be tactful.
Compare these different ways of reacting to a mistake:
================================
Where was your head at?
That just blew our safety margin!
We can't afford another mistake like that!
Everybody makes mistakes, but that really cost us!
Okay, deep breaths! We can do this. That was our learning curve, a little rough, but now the choice is to get it perfect or go home. Right?
================================
When you can understand and discuss views that you viscerally disagree with, then you will know how to be tactful.
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