Private Fubar did what!

Should I tell some stories about myself? Sure why not. I was in Iraq outside of Baghdad living in a building on a small log base. The room was pitch black since the windows were blacked out due to snipers. I took a hand held pump action lotion bottle and I pumped out the lotion like a blind mortar with a 25% accuracy rate. I did this several times, but I stopped when I actually hit someone in the face and he yelled, "What the f^&k".

Let's not assume it's just our PVT's making dumb or funny mistakes...

I used to work for a SSgt. Shot himself in the hand (Personal Weapon). .38 right through the knuckle of one of his fingers. This dovetails into a unit picnic I was at where my boss (A Maj) says "Holy #$%, what happened to your foot!" to another Maj/LtCol (Can't remember what was at the time). Apparently blew his big toe off with a shotgun some 10-15 years previously. It was unclear whether he was in the Marines at the time or not.

So our company was getting ready for an inspection and the BDE Commander and BDE Sergeant Major were flying in from Colorado (we were in Maryland). we had atleast two weeks notice of the date. Part of the inspection was a dress blue's inspection. We were informed two weeks prior that the Sergeant Major wanted everyone to have their dry-cleaners receipt on them. It was a busy couple weeks leading up to it, and it was up to the soldiers to get your uniforms ready and present them to your team leader for inspection. Uniform inspections were very common in the company so most of us were always prepared. In general we were very bonded as a unit and wanted to look good for our team leaders and squad leaders and represent for each of our individual squad. The day comes and we are lined up, the Sergeant Major is working his way down the line when he stops at one private and looks stunned. "Private," he says, "do you have your receipt?" "No" says the private. " did you clean that uniform at all?" He asks the over. "No" he respond. "Did your team leader/squad leader inspect this?" Asks the Sergeant Major. "No, I told them it was good." Replied the private. "Why not" asks the Sergeant Major. "I wasn't given proper time, and I don't have the money." Long story there was a flood of anger that rained down on his team leader and up. What was sad was that he had a really great team leader.