Posted on Mar 13, 2015
LTC Dave Duffy
58.9K
413
121
68
68
0
My wife and I own a couple of Tropical Smoothie Cafes. As small business entrepreneurs, we take a lot of pride in providing 55 jobs while making pay roll every week, all self-financed as saved and scrimped for investment capital. As owners, we choose to offer a 10% discount to first responders and active duty/reserve military and guardsmen. Which is where I get to my rub.

Recently I had a military spouse grow irate with my cashier because we didn't offer a discount to military family members. Unfortunately this is not the first time this has happened. I guess I could stop offering any discount at all to the military, but would rather not. In this particular case, my cashier was on the receiving end of a very long tirade about how obviously unappreciative ownership must be of the sacrifices of the military family, she ended by stating "it would be in the owner's best interest" to offer discounts to families as well. I wish I was there to find out exactly what she meant beyond her vague threat.

Her response I believe had nothing to do with my veteran owned business being unappreciative of military families (we know firsthand about the hardships endured on the home front) but everything to do with the growing sense in our active and retired military community that as a corps they should be catered to because of their service. This is terribly misplaced and hurts civ-mil relations as well as sully our service to this great nation.

I get it, society is grateful for our military service and reasonably so. I also believe that society's overboard efforts to recognize military service is directly related to lasting guilt on how we treated returning Vietnam Vets. A shameful part of our history to be sure, but the big difference today is that we veterans all volunteered.

I'm a big fan of the All Volunteer Force and I loved my time in service. Combat was terrible and awesome and terrible and exhilarating. All my deployments were fantastic adventures, whether into combat zones or supporting foreign troops while in Special Forces. It was miserable at times to be sure and I was always glad to get home. Of which I immediately started looking forward to the next deployment or training. I've been retired 8 years and still miss that. As well as my brothers in arms.

We are fortunate in our society that we have tremendous citizens that pursue professions for our betterment. Teachers, police, firemen, doctors, nurses, scientists, social workers, civil servants, and yes military, all do our part to make our society a bit better while taking care of our citizens. All deserve admiration and thanks. It is time we recall that and quit creating a separate class of citizens.

So, I'm all for easing up on thanking veterans and uniformed personnel ad nausea, eliminating most veteran hiring preferences, and leadership stomping out the attitude that military/vets are better than others. Focus instead on fixing the VA, allowing business to hire best qualified without stigma, and taking care of our wounded warriors.

At the end of the day I'm a capitalist and fought to defend that system. I'll offer a discount to whomever I want, if you don't like it then patronize another establishment. If offered a discount as a retiree, I'll take it, although I'll never ask for one. At the end of the day I just find it embarrassing that military civilian relations are suffering for a myriad of reasons, but one is the attitude that civilians should have the military on a pedestal. Enough is enough.

Bring the troops home. Drink more Smoothies.
Posted in these groups: 577963 465023533533674 1675317474 n Service
Avatar feed
Responses: 63
MAJ Senior Observer   Controller/Trainer
57
57
0
Have you ever noticed, dependents feel entitled; Servicemen feel appreciative.
(57)
Comment
(0)
LCpl Hector Verduzco
LCpl Hector Verduzco
10 y
i meant to say if the discount is offered then yes take the advantage of it because times are tough now a days. But don't demand it.
(6)
Reply
(0)
MAJ Senior Observer   Controller/Trainer
MAJ (Join to see)
10 y
Cpl Jerry Millar , so very true! And I have an excellent example of that in my own family. My favorite uncle, Uncle Bob, is one of the foremost neurosurgeons in the world. That is not hyperbole or exaggeration; that is fact. He has been a consultant to the DOD on TBI in the past, he is on the Board of Surgeons and Directors for the Mayo Clinic, and he is the most down to earth man you will ever meet. He has a passion for firearms and military history. He was born and raised on the Southside of Chicago - total self-made man. By virtue of marriage, my aunt, is a gigantic pain in the ass! Despite the fact that she too came from a humble background, despite the fact that she did nothing more than say "yes" and "I do", you would think it was she who had invested 16 years of her life to rigorous medical studies before reaping the prestige and the benefits. If you go out to eat with them, she is rude to the wait staff, she will frequently send food back to the kitchen. She will argue with sales clerks over a 5% markdown that expired two days ago; yep, she's DEPENDENT to the core, that woman! But the guy who EARNED it all? The nicest man in the world!
(3)
Reply
(0)
Cpl Jerry Millar
Cpl Jerry Millar
10 y
That is a perfect example sir and it proves my theory that we all have an uncle Bob =)
Oh and the other part about your aunt soounds correct too haha!
(1)
Reply
(0)
MGySgt Douglas C.
MGySgt Douglas C.
10 y
I have to say that if offered, I accept with gratitude. But demand a discount!!! Never in a million years. I tell all who thank me for my service, "you are welcomed, but it was my privilege to serve and that I thoroughly enjoyed most of my days in the Marine Corps, but not all of them". And I leave with a smile on my face, even though I often feel awkward being thanked for doing something that I loved for so long.
(3)
Reply
(0)
Avatar small
CPT Operations Officer (S3)
21
21
0
Sir,
Thumbs up because you're right. Too often dependents act as though they're entitled because of their spouses/parents' military service. I believe that service members need to educate their dependents on how to act:
1- when on post/base dealing with MPs.
2- when dealing with service members of lower ranks than their spouses/parents.
In the end it's all about humility of the dependents and understanding/appreciative of the selfless service WE (Service Members) perform.
(21)
Comment
(0)
MAJ Senior Observer   Controller/Trainer
MAJ (Join to see)
10 y
SGM Erik Marquez , I don't intend to speak for CPT (Join to see) , but as I read his words, it is my understanding that he is implying that Soldiers need to make it clear to their dependents, whether they be a spouse or children, that they do not wear the rank of the Soldier, and to bear that in mind when encountering you, our another Soldier during the course of the day. In other words, they should treat you all with respect.
(2)
Reply
(0)
SGM Erik Marquez
SGM Erik Marquez
10 y
Sir that ideal and position I can understand and agree with.

CPT (Join to see) was that the meaning behind your stament?
(1)
Reply
(0)
CPT Operations Officer (S3)
CPT (Join to see)
10 y
MAJ Paul Hoiland,
Sir, this is exactly what I intended to say.
I apologize for the ambiguity. The education to the dependents is merely to express the value of rank and its structural purpose in the military. And, furthermore that the dependents should show respect to all ranks.
(2)
Reply
(0)
PO3 Sherry Thornburg
PO3 Sherry Thornburg
>1 y
My mom was a Navy wife for over 20 years. She has commented that there were officer's wives that tried to wear their husband's uniforms (as in expected the same respect, privileges and benefits as their husbands). Spouses, officer or enlisted, that do that are trying to bully people into respect and that just doesn't happen. Its nice when someone thanks me or my husband for our former service, but insisting that I get discounts and other benefits is high handed and uncalled for.
(1)
Reply
(0)
Avatar small
Capt Retired
18
18
0
I am in agreement with you. I enjoy discounts when given and especially when they are given when not advertised nor solicited. If the establishment advertises a military discount, I am not shy about asking whether it includes retirees. If i does fine, if not, also fine (though I prefer it does)

I served, qualified for and receive the benefits of military retirement. To this I am entitled. Anything granted beyond is appreciated but not expected.
(18)
Comment
(0)
Capt Retired
Capt (Join to see)
10 y
As a caveat, the first time I picked up my prescriptions at the base pharmacy a MSGT brought them to the counter and say sort of sadistically "Capt, do you realize you are getting $1000 worth of prescriptions?" I looked her in the eye and said "Sgt, do you realize I earned every penny of it?"
(8)
Reply
(0)
Avatar small

Join nearly 2 million former and current members of the US military, just like you.

close