Why do we tolerate cheaters?

1. It is against Regulations. 2, It is a punishable offense. 3. It is hard to prove, since the Military has very little authority off post and no authority with civilians. 4. We are not morality police- and you your are charges and convicted your career is dead, if not guilty then your career is damaged. 5. Military court/evidence are very very different than the civilian courts

The Military is a business, not the Morality Police. Hence the Services make business decisions about conduct. It's a sliding scale thing with a lot more tolerated with the junior folk and low tolerance with higher rank. I remember our O-6 knife/fork school was the first time I ever heard "at this grade, if you do this or that, you're fired". The reason isn't because you committed an immoral act. It's because you're senior AND it wound up as a media problem. The Pentagon was so serious about it, there was a list of billets where if you were married, you had to be accompanied by the spouse. Bottom line, cheating is out there everywhere and chasing it all down doesn't give much return on the investment. So the business decision is tolerance and some investment to keep things at a mild roar.
BTW saw the other comment about officers' inaction. Take a look at what they are taught but more important, not taught. They are not taught to aggressively dig into morality issues, hence they shy away as a matter of preferred culture. Business decisions shoot for the middle of the Bell Curve. Hence strong feelings about it either way isn't in the target range. Unfortunately that won't help those who are personally affected.

Look around you. The military is an official department of government dedicate to accepting immorality as an honorable way of life. Thus, in answer to your question is to pose another question. How can any organization that accepts, protects, promotes human perversion (homosexuality, transexuality.) Acts against nature (biologically inferior females in positions of authority above biologically superior males) define adultery as immoral Such a legal move by such an organization would make it the laughing stock of the world. Once immorality is accepted in any manner as normal than there can never be any act that can be measured as immoral. A word of caution. It would be best to never bring this matter before your commissioned officers. They may agree with you. But, they will destroy you for publicly speaking out concerning immorality. In their mind numb official minds immorality only exists if you prayed in JESUS name while in uniform.