New way to approach suicide prevention in the military?

Everyone has different experiences regarding this issue. Can anyone really assume the driving motivations/circumstances leading to this epidemic are identical...let alone be identically dealt with? Your question indicates you understand this as well, and it's a good topic for this forum IMHO.

I wasn't an "operator" or Infantryman. I saw people die, and lost friends. Some folks tried to kill me...directly. All in all, I had only two deployments the entire time I was serving...only one of which was on the ground, in the "AO", and even then, I wasn't outside the wire much more than a week or two at a stretch to as little as a few hours every week. I wasn't wounded. In every conceivable way we measure these things, I'd be the very LAST person anyone would worry about confronting these issues...

...and yet, without revealing anything that might compromise my present or future in this litigious age...I've faced my "dark nights of the soul" in the weeks and months following my return to civil life.

For me, the hardest part was confronting the loss of one identity...and the emergence (no, insistence) of another. After having a uniform that told everyone (including myself) exactly who/what I "was"...I had to find that out independent of anything the Military ever gave me. No one "cared" and to make maters worse...most civilian employers, friends and even significant others only saw that time I served as an "empty hole" in my prospects, abilities and potential.

I had to "re-learn" what the words "respect", "courage" and "integrity" meant because it would seem they have very different definitions out "here".

I had to constantly evaluate what I did do...against what I didn't. We all know that it never has, isn't, nor ever will be as simple as saying, "I served". We left the Military with a "frozen" sense of what we had achieved before reaching thirty...and a "blank slate" regarding what we might become from then on out.

I had moments where I revisited decisions made; wondering if I had hosed up...done right...in light of a maturing mind and heart, wondering if the greatest memories, accomplishments and pride of my life up to then were little more than a lie...or a joke.

That's when things get hard.

Ultimately, I pulled myself up by constantly focusing on the fact that in or out of the service, we continue to improve/degrade based on our own will power and effort. I found that by pushing myself, accepting new challenges, and greater responsibilities...the past seemed less important. I came to terms with the fact that choices made and friends lost were part of that past; memory is important, yes...but so too is living for a better future in honor of all of that.

When I speak with younger veterans, or those of my own generation facing these same issues, or here on RP, I try to convince them that sometime the most important fight you'll ever be in is with yourself. In that battle, the only thing that matters is to never, ever give up. It's a concept we universally respect, and the finest among us build their entire ethos upon.

To my mind, this is what we should be teaching service members; not that they are "broken", or that any amount of medication, therapy or aide will supplant the power of a heart and soul that refuses to yield to the darkness at the gate.

I don't have an answer here. I work mainly with the infantry, so I may have a screwed view.

What I do know is that soldiers generally don't wake up one day and say "I'm going to kill myself." A significant amount of them end up at suicide after they have been overlooked or felt unheard or dismissed. The Army sends an important message that can save lives in times of conflict and that is, "suck it up and push on." With this comes a message that in order to be heard you really need to be in bad shape. "I don't feel right" or "I'm not feeling up to it today" will generally not give you an opportunity to take a knee or share what is going on with you. Rather, a response like "neither do I, now get your gear and lets go," is often received.

The opportunity to intervene early is missed and the soldier receives a message that the Army doesn't care. The soldiers feelings intensify. Hopelessness sets in and they learn that they really need to be in a much worse way than just feeling down in order to be taken seriously. Eventually they are at the point of suicide as either an actual option, or as a way of trying to communicate that they do not feel right and they are not being heard.

Early intervention, generally long before suicide is considered as an option is what is needed. Listening to soldiers, having them feel valued and supported will go a long way at reducing suicide in the Army. Its a tough environment, and toughness is expected and trained for. So it is hard to reach the right balance here. Some NCOs do it well, almost naturally, while others use times when a soldier may be vulnerable to try and encourage and motivate and toughen....and miss opportunities to listen and validate and support.

Take the guys that report to you and talk to them. I mean really talk. One on one. Listen to them. Don't just ask how things are and dismiss them when they say they're fine. Talk. About family, work, baseball, whatever. You'd be surprised what guys will divulge that can clue you into them needing some help. You can also do this with guys you don't know. If you see a PFC at the PX looking all down in the dumps, stop him/her and just talk for a minute. Where ya from? Married? Etc. A lot of time people are dying on the inside wanting someone to listen and even if they don't know you, they may open up.