Posted on Mar 29, 2018
Is my NCO a walking SHARP complaint or am I just overreacting?
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First term, first duty station and I grew up with three brother so I am not overly sensitive, however, I have been working under an NCO that constantly talks about my body (weight and type). He has referred to me as a Clydesdale (like the horse) because he says my legs are “strong”, says I am a “power” body type and now is starting to talk to other soldiers and NCOs about my body. He talked to one soldier (E4), saying his wife is skinny but he’s usually attracted to my body type (specifically naming me). And I have now found out that he spoke with another NCO (in front of the whole damn Oroom) stating “my wife think she’s built like (me) but she’s really built like her (points to my female battle that told me about this encounter) after one NCO stayed his wife gained weight after her pregnancy. My question is...how can I stop him from constantly talking about my body without filing a SHARP complaint? I have spoken to several NCOs, warrants in my section and even our SHARP rep and they all say that without a sharp complaint, no action can be taken. Is this even a sharp complaint?? I don’t feel that he has the slightest bit of attraction for me, he just doesn’t know how to act around females?? Am I being overly sensitive or not sensitive enough. Is this EO?? Please help.
Posted in these groups: 
SHARPSexual Harassment/Assault Response & Prevention (SHARP) Representative
Equal Opportunity (EO)
SHARPSexual Harassment/Assault Response & Prevention (SHARP) Representative Equal Opportunity (EO)
Posted >1 y ago
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This is precisely why SHARP was established. It is sexual harassment, and it needs to stop. The good-ol'-boy network protects their own, and often doesn't have the guts to stop behavior like this, but if he doesn't have the respect for you to stop talking about you in this manner when you ask him to, then file an unrestricted report and put a stop to it. His behavior is creating a hostile work environment, and is incompatible with the army values.
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Doesn't matter if he's "attracted to you" the NCO is out of line. Get with the SHARP rep and figure out which style of reporting is best for you , but report the incidents none the less. With all the mandatory training in effect for years now there is no longer any such animal as "Doesn't know how to act around females" anymore. The grace period for that one (if there could be one) went out in the 80's.
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It's creating an uncomfortable working environment and a form of sexual harassment. If you don't want to file a complaint, can't you call him out on it in front of whoever he is saying it to? Embarrass him.
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SPC (Join to see)
I’ve called him out on the Clydesdale remarks several times, plus any other time he refers to my body, or diet. Everyone just kind of laughs nervously and moves on about their day. I’m getting near my ETS, thankfully. Thank you for the advice, I might just have to ramp up my sarcasm around him....hell, it’ll help me max my pushups when he drops me.
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CMSgt (Join to see)
Apologies, but I disagree. As much as I love to see a well-timed zinger slung at jerk-offs, ego will play a huge part in his reaction if calling him out publically.
I think that you have a quiet unemotional word and tell him that you are incredibly uncomfortable with this line of discussion. Keep your face neutral and your words calm. If he pushes back with "Oh, it's no big deal" or "I mean it as a compliment", you stand your ground with "It is highly inappropriate and if it continues, I will elevate it."
Irrespective of your ETS, he may continue to do it to others. You completely are in the right. :)
I think that you have a quiet unemotional word and tell him that you are incredibly uncomfortable with this line of discussion. Keep your face neutral and your words calm. If he pushes back with "Oh, it's no big deal" or "I mean it as a compliment", you stand your ground with "It is highly inappropriate and if it continues, I will elevate it."
Irrespective of your ETS, he may continue to do it to others. You completely are in the right. :)
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CPT Lawrence Cable
CMSgt (Join to see) - I agree. There are cases where the guy may just be an insensitive boob, but either way a private talk will indicate your next step.
Even if it was not sexually oriented, such remarks tend to be a form of bullying and that pisses me off faster than most things. Nicknames and comments like these are ONLY appropriate IF it really doesn't bother you, male or female. If it does, tell the offender and make sure they understand that isn't optional to continue.
Even if it was not sexually oriented, such remarks tend to be a form of bullying and that pisses me off faster than most things. Nicknames and comments like these are ONLY appropriate IF it really doesn't bother you, male or female. If it does, tell the offender and make sure they understand that isn't optional to continue.
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SFC Kelly Fuerhoff
SPC (Join to see) - You've already addressed it with him one on one - so next step since he hasn't stopped is file a complaint.
There's no excuse for this especially with all the SHARP training we have. It's not really that hard to grasp but some people don't want to grow up or act like a professional.
No don't "ramp up the sarcasm" around him. You're just contributing to the environment. I bet there are other people uncomfortable or who he has harassed and they are scared to report. If they see you act like him, they'll think they can't talk to you.
Also he can't drop you for that and even if he did, now we can only make someone do like 10 of an exercise. Please go back to your SARC or VA.
There's no excuse for this especially with all the SHARP training we have. It's not really that hard to grasp but some people don't want to grow up or act like a professional.
No don't "ramp up the sarcasm" around him. You're just contributing to the environment. I bet there are other people uncomfortable or who he has harassed and they are scared to report. If they see you act like him, they'll think they can't talk to you.
Also he can't drop you for that and even if he did, now we can only make someone do like 10 of an exercise. Please go back to your SARC or VA.
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