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My peers don't inforce standards and I know every person in a leadership role has talked about how undisciplined the soldier's are. That leaves me to be the "bulldog". I hate to be, but at times I feel like I have to. Now all the soldier's view me as a bitch because of this and I speak sternly (viewed by some as condescending) when verbally counseling. Mind you, I've lost my cool once.
NCO Academy
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 102
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Americans don't like to be told what to do. For those that signed up... too damn bad. Now that you are a Corporal you shouldn't care if the soldiers think you are a bitch. They are no longer your peers or friends. Cordial is OK, but you should not ever be involved in "friendly" social engagement with them. If they fall under your authority by billet or assignment , permanent or temporary; you issue orders, they comply... period. What you are going through now, almost all new NCO's go through. If when it's all over and done, would it be so bad if your tombstone said "Man that bitch was tough, but she was fair."
You need to have a long serious discussion with your senior NCO's and SNCO's. Explain what you are experiencing. Make sure that your chain of command knows you want to solve the problem yourself. You just want to know where the edge of the performance envelope is. Make sure you have a pretty firm understanding of where the command stands on discipline and will back the level of discipline you implement. Furthermore, make sure that if you are defied, the command will back you up with pretty extreme measure. If you ever bluff or make a play that your seniors won't back, you're dead in the water.
What I am going to say to you now is not very politically correct, none-the-less it is true. Most Women leaders, do not do "pissed off" well. They cannot do R. Lee Ermey (the Marine pictured above). Most men, particularly junior soldiers find an angry senior female funny. What throws them off balance is cool, calm, deliberate, unemotional application of discipline. DO NOT LET THEM KNOW THEY GOT UNDER YOUR SKIN... EVER!!!!! The only time you should raise your voice is to be heard over background noise or if you need to get someone's attention to prevent injury or property damage. You may find that getting just inside their personal space and speaking in a quiet firm voice will also throw them off-balance and build your credibility. Never discipline when you are in an agitated state. If the situation will allow it, there's a lot to be said for "Come find me at the ______, when the rest of the unit is secured. If I am not there, wait for me." Once they are there have them stand by until you've done everything else you need to do before you secure for the day. Then deal with them.
In general... ask once. If you do not get immediate intelligent obedience after you ask, then tell. If you do not get immediate intelligent obedience after you tell, then discipline. Once you hit the discipline stage, make sure your disciplinary measure fits within the guidance you got earlier from your senior NCO's and SNCO's. Then implement the discipline...do not be dissuaded.
Finally, it is better to discipline one time harshly than one hundred times lightly.
You need to have a long serious discussion with your senior NCO's and SNCO's. Explain what you are experiencing. Make sure that your chain of command knows you want to solve the problem yourself. You just want to know where the edge of the performance envelope is. Make sure you have a pretty firm understanding of where the command stands on discipline and will back the level of discipline you implement. Furthermore, make sure that if you are defied, the command will back you up with pretty extreme measure. If you ever bluff or make a play that your seniors won't back, you're dead in the water.
What I am going to say to you now is not very politically correct, none-the-less it is true. Most Women leaders, do not do "pissed off" well. They cannot do R. Lee Ermey (the Marine pictured above). Most men, particularly junior soldiers find an angry senior female funny. What throws them off balance is cool, calm, deliberate, unemotional application of discipline. DO NOT LET THEM KNOW THEY GOT UNDER YOUR SKIN... EVER!!!!! The only time you should raise your voice is to be heard over background noise or if you need to get someone's attention to prevent injury or property damage. You may find that getting just inside their personal space and speaking in a quiet firm voice will also throw them off-balance and build your credibility. Never discipline when you are in an agitated state. If the situation will allow it, there's a lot to be said for "Come find me at the ______, when the rest of the unit is secured. If I am not there, wait for me." Once they are there have them stand by until you've done everything else you need to do before you secure for the day. Then deal with them.
In general... ask once. If you do not get immediate intelligent obedience after you ask, then tell. If you do not get immediate intelligent obedience after you tell, then discipline. Once you hit the discipline stage, make sure your disciplinary measure fits within the guidance you got earlier from your senior NCO's and SNCO's. Then implement the discipline...do not be dissuaded.
Finally, it is better to discipline one time harshly than one hundred times lightly.
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SGT David Hochreiter
Major you hit the nail on the head. Id gladly serve under you. That was exceptional wisdom
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PO1 Eric Justice
Damn, Major. Why couldn’t I have had you for a leader in the Navy? I had zero guidance “growing up” and had to figure all of this out for myself.
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Maj John Bell
PO1 Eric Justice - I didn't start out knowing the wisdom I passed on. Fortunately I had good NCO's, GREAT SNCO's, and open ears. No doubt there were times that NCO's said "Sir," but thought "dumbass."
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CPT Lawrence Cable
Maj John Bell - I agree. The troops need to understand that the chain of command as that NCO's or Officer's back and will support them when needed. I didn't want to hear about every issue in a squad, but if things got beyond the section/squad leaders pay grade to deal with, the 1st Sergeant and I would be happy to do a bit of remedial training for these troops until they understood Command Authority and Chain of Command.
You don't need to yell or go ballistics. I had a young LT that was screwing up in a number of ways that had the potential of causing serious problems. I took him aside, actually into the woods, and explained to him what I saw as his moral and leadership shortcomings, what I wanted changed and why, and when I wanted it accomplished (immediately). I later heard him talking to his Plt.Sgt about how he had gotten chewed up one side and down the other, then took a breath and crewed some more. I thought he had ran afoul of the Bn Co, who could go ballistic on you. Turned out it was me.
If you are going to be a soldier, you need to be able to take an ass chewing like an adult.
You don't need to yell or go ballistics. I had a young LT that was screwing up in a number of ways that had the potential of causing serious problems. I took him aside, actually into the woods, and explained to him what I saw as his moral and leadership shortcomings, what I wanted changed and why, and when I wanted it accomplished (immediately). I later heard him talking to his Plt.Sgt about how he had gotten chewed up one side and down the other, then took a breath and crewed some more. I thought he had ran afoul of the Bn Co, who could go ballistic on you. Turned out it was me.
If you are going to be a soldier, you need to be able to take an ass chewing like an adult.
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Better to be disliked than to be walked all over by a bunch of lazy Joes, especially if you know you're doing the right things.
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SFC Mamerto Perez
I was told once, Sgt I really don't care for you. I told the individual, I am not running a popularity contest but now I know where to go, when I need a Detail. He change his tone after that.
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SSG Sharon Fields
I agree. Who cares if they dislike you as long as they do their job and follow orders. It could save their life someday. That’s what matters.
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Welcome to the Army! You want to be a leader? Get used to being looked at as a bitch. Before I married my wife she was a charge nurse at a hospital I was admitted into. The JR enlisted would talk to me about how they didn’t like the officers, especially the night charge nurse. They talked to me cause we were all JR enlisted and I was there for so long. As I listened to them complain it stuck me that it was because she was making them do their job. She had always been the enforcer, at home and at work. I guess it helps that she’s a yankee from Boston. So learn to deal with it if you plan to stay in. And congratulations- you have our respect.
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SGT (Join to see)
Couldn't say it any better, and that's what I noticed with today's type of Soldiers.... majority of them hates to be told what to to and always wants to question everything.. that is untim you drop the hammer on their ass lol
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