Posted on Feb 21, 2018
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I am retired/disabled U.S. Army veteran and my wife is active duty at Ft. Stewart, GA.
We got married in October 2017 and she left me in November 2017. When she left the apartment, I discovered she had filed 3 police reports against me with Hinesville PD. They were for alleged domestic violence and rape. She blocked my number and I haven't spoken to her since.
I went to the PD and the police told me all police reports were cleared because there was no evidence of any kind to support her claims. They said she had not followed up with any of the reports and would not return her phone calls. They advised me to get a lawyer and to get away from her because it was classic BAH fraud.
I went to her chain of command to obtain financial support and they were extremely hostile and tried to make her the victim in the situation. They made it seem like I was a dirtball trying to get money from her and the reason she left was because she was "abused" and the police reports were "proof" to them.
I told them I had no criminal record, retired from the army and all reports were cleared and I was never arrested or charged with anything. They didn't care and proceeded to act like I was guilty.
Shortly after I left Hinesville and my wife was issued a temporary restraining order without my knowledge. I was never served with an order to appear in court for the permanent restraining order hearing and as a result of this and my wife giving them a false address, I missed the hearing and the judge granted her a 12 month restraining order.
I got word of this a couple days after the decision and called the county clerk and got the hearing rescheduled.
At the hearing the judge dismissed the restraining order due to a complete lack of evidence and recommended we get divorced.
After the hearing I went to the family advocacy center to get some assistance and was escorted off the base and given a permanent bar letter from an MP. On the letter it said I committed the offense of "domestic violence". I asked the MP how can that be without me ever being arrested or convicted and they told me "you'll get past this, good luck to you."
I appealed this decision with the commanding general and I am still awaiting a response...
I then emailed her commander to get her to follow AR 608-99 and to provided him with the proceedings from the county clerk proving that the restraining order had been dismissed.
He replied in an email that there was an acknowledgement that she owes me money and that she will pay me when she gets her pay.
I waited over a month and never received anything. Eventually her commander just stopped responding to my emails and told me that he had "proof" she paid me but refused to provide any. He told me to start a "pay inquiry".
I hired an attorney shortly after this and he wrote a letter to the IG asking for them to look into why her commander isn't complying with AR 608-99. I am still awaiting the response from them.
On Tuesday, Feb 20th, 2018 I received an email from a LTC commander that he had released her of her obligation due to her being the victim of "substantial abuse". He cited the police reports and the restraining order petitions as "evidence".
I emailed him the proceedings from the county clerk proving the restraining order was dismissed and sent him a copy of AR 608-99 where it states that there must be a conviction or a VALID restraining order to grant an exemption from AR 608-99. He has not emailed me back and I am pretty sure I won't hear any response.
I contacted my lawyer and he recommended that he writes another letter to IG citing the regulation and showing proof that the restraining order was dismissed in court. I have all the emails proving I sent this to her command multiple times but it appears her command is choosing to ignore this.
What are my options in this situation? Should I just wait for IG or is there another route I can take? I am honestly ashamed to call myself retired US Army at this point. I have never seen this in my life. Any help or ideas would be greatly appreciated.
We got married in October 2017 and she left me in November 2017. When she left the apartment, I discovered she had filed 3 police reports against me with Hinesville PD. They were for alleged domestic violence and rape. She blocked my number and I haven't spoken to her since.
I went to the PD and the police told me all police reports were cleared because there was no evidence of any kind to support her claims. They said she had not followed up with any of the reports and would not return her phone calls. They advised me to get a lawyer and to get away from her because it was classic BAH fraud.
I went to her chain of command to obtain financial support and they were extremely hostile and tried to make her the victim in the situation. They made it seem like I was a dirtball trying to get money from her and the reason she left was because she was "abused" and the police reports were "proof" to them.
I told them I had no criminal record, retired from the army and all reports were cleared and I was never arrested or charged with anything. They didn't care and proceeded to act like I was guilty.
Shortly after I left Hinesville and my wife was issued a temporary restraining order without my knowledge. I was never served with an order to appear in court for the permanent restraining order hearing and as a result of this and my wife giving them a false address, I missed the hearing and the judge granted her a 12 month restraining order.
I got word of this a couple days after the decision and called the county clerk and got the hearing rescheduled.
At the hearing the judge dismissed the restraining order due to a complete lack of evidence and recommended we get divorced.
After the hearing I went to the family advocacy center to get some assistance and was escorted off the base and given a permanent bar letter from an MP. On the letter it said I committed the offense of "domestic violence". I asked the MP how can that be without me ever being arrested or convicted and they told me "you'll get past this, good luck to you."
I appealed this decision with the commanding general and I am still awaiting a response...
I then emailed her commander to get her to follow AR 608-99 and to provided him with the proceedings from the county clerk proving that the restraining order had been dismissed.
He replied in an email that there was an acknowledgement that she owes me money and that she will pay me when she gets her pay.
I waited over a month and never received anything. Eventually her commander just stopped responding to my emails and told me that he had "proof" she paid me but refused to provide any. He told me to start a "pay inquiry".
I hired an attorney shortly after this and he wrote a letter to the IG asking for them to look into why her commander isn't complying with AR 608-99. I am still awaiting the response from them.
On Tuesday, Feb 20th, 2018 I received an email from a LTC commander that he had released her of her obligation due to her being the victim of "substantial abuse". He cited the police reports and the restraining order petitions as "evidence".
I emailed him the proceedings from the county clerk proving the restraining order was dismissed and sent him a copy of AR 608-99 where it states that there must be a conviction or a VALID restraining order to grant an exemption from AR 608-99. He has not emailed me back and I am pretty sure I won't hear any response.
I contacted my lawyer and he recommended that he writes another letter to IG citing the regulation and showing proof that the restraining order was dismissed in court. I have all the emails proving I sent this to her command multiple times but it appears her command is choosing to ignore this.
What are my options in this situation? Should I just wait for IG or is there another route I can take? I am honestly ashamed to call myself retired US Army at this point. I have never seen this in my life. Any help or ideas would be greatly appreciated.
Army Regulations
Fort Stewart
Support
Commanders
Edited 7 y ago
Posted 7 y ago
Responses: 18
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SGT Matt Feed Married in October and she left in November, without properly divorcing you. She sounds like a real "character" and you are probably not the first one, she’s done this to. It’s also a shame that her command is behind her on this...she has probably told her “lies” to her command and they have chosen to believe her and will not listen to your side of the story. If no children are involved, I would take the loss, and run like hell to the opposite side of the country. File with a court for abandonment, which will get you divorced without her signature. You do not need a person like this, who has filed several false claims that you were abusive to her...she is trying to smear your name and make you look like the abusive one. Ever heard of “karma”…‘what goes around, comes around!’
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Politicians have their fingers in everything. Word to the wise, in today's political climate of "#ME TOO". for every accusation from your wife you must have paper proving, dismissal of charges (or whatever). Most politicians are attorneys so that will be important. For every indignity you have suffered, there must be legal closure from the investigating body. You must have a copy of everything sent to you by everybody. You need a private investigator to check into your wife's history. If your congressman is female, a Democrat, or both, you need to be especially circumspect about involving them.
One last thing and this is very important. It is not an accusation nor is it a judgement, BUT if you are guilty in any way shape or form, get divorced, get counseling, do whatever it takes to get back on the straight and narrow. By the way, as there could still be an accusation of domestic violence floating around out there, so do not attempt to purchase a firearm from a dealer. You may not pass the background check and if you are super unlucky, you could be convicted for illegally attempting to purchase a firearm by lying on an ATFE form (which is REALLY bad). Your private investigator can also check "your" background.
One last thing and this is very important. It is not an accusation nor is it a judgement, BUT if you are guilty in any way shape or form, get divorced, get counseling, do whatever it takes to get back on the straight and narrow. By the way, as there could still be an accusation of domestic violence floating around out there, so do not attempt to purchase a firearm from a dealer. You may not pass the background check and if you are super unlucky, you could be convicted for illegally attempting to purchase a firearm by lying on an ATFE form (which is REALLY bad). Your private investigator can also check "your" background.
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SGT Matt Feed - Don't pull my leg now. You have stated that you are a military retiree, so you should know the role of the congress in military oversight.
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SGT Matt Feed
I understand Congress oversees the military but I'll be honest, I've never seen a command blatantly refuse to follow a regulation. I feel like there is more going on then meets the eye. They are protecting her and for reasons I don't know. The whole situation seems unreal. It's completely destroyed me mentally.
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First allow me to apologize for my ill temper and uncharitableness (I hope that is a word) yesterday evening. I do know better, but failed anyway.
Regulations are flouted all the time, sometimes a command feels it has too much to do already, sometimes a soldier has ingratiated themself with an officer or NCO that runs interference for them, and sometimes an officer will have developed (over time) a sense that they know more than the DOA & DOD. Irrespective of the cause, it appears that there is an issue of some sort working against you. It is important to realize that the people refusing to help you are most likely not doing it to harm you. Most likely they believe that they are doing the right thing based upon an interview or other sworn statement or evidence of one of their troops (your wife). I can appreciate your disappointment but if it is really is disturbing your mental state as you describe, you need to immediately contact the VA clinic closest to you for some assitance. You can google the VA nearest to you and they should have a hotline in for those in mental distress. I recommend that you tell them how this is making you feel and leave the financial concerns out of the conversation.
As for what a congress-"person" can do for you, any officer (and I mean any) fears a congressional complaint more than a loose grenade. When the voice on the other end of the phone states "please hold for Congressman (or Senator) Jones", their armpits prickle, their stomach turns over, and they begin to sweat. The foregoing applies to the officer that has done right in any controversial problems. Officers that already know that they have executed their obligations wrongly, well you get the picture.
Regulations are flouted all the time, sometimes a command feels it has too much to do already, sometimes a soldier has ingratiated themself with an officer or NCO that runs interference for them, and sometimes an officer will have developed (over time) a sense that they know more than the DOA & DOD. Irrespective of the cause, it appears that there is an issue of some sort working against you. It is important to realize that the people refusing to help you are most likely not doing it to harm you. Most likely they believe that they are doing the right thing based upon an interview or other sworn statement or evidence of one of their troops (your wife). I can appreciate your disappointment but if it is really is disturbing your mental state as you describe, you need to immediately contact the VA clinic closest to you for some assitance. You can google the VA nearest to you and they should have a hotline in for those in mental distress. I recommend that you tell them how this is making you feel and leave the financial concerns out of the conversation.
As for what a congress-"person" can do for you, any officer (and I mean any) fears a congressional complaint more than a loose grenade. When the voice on the other end of the phone states "please hold for Congressman (or Senator) Jones", their armpits prickle, their stomach turns over, and they begin to sweat. The foregoing applies to the officer that has done right in any controversial problems. Officers that already know that they have executed their obligations wrongly, well you get the picture.
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This sounds like pretty classic BAH fraud. You should contact CID on the post in order to have a thorough investigation of the matter.
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