Military parents, how do you think the "military lifestyle" has affected your children?

GREAT question, and answered the same way a question of "Military couples, how do you think the "military lifestyle" has affected your marriage?
And the answer is,,It depends some good, some bad, some great, sometimes its drama of your own making.
My wife and I have been married 25 years, both were in when we met.
She got out just before our second child, I stayed in another 23 years.
Our kids learned to be self sufficient, they learned to make the best of what was, not pine for what is not.
They learned to be outgoing, make friends, and learned that the loss of a friend is not the end of the world.
They learned life was not fair...That the guy they looked up to, that was always strong, sure, confident could fail and get past it. That life could take something in an instant and it is not fair, but it is real.

Or oldest stayed in Oregon when we PCS'ed to Texas in 2005, having just graduating HS, and having the confidence and readiness to be on his own, He stayed there with his then 17 year old girlfriend. They are still together... thats a longer relationship then most married "adult" couples I know. They are successful, happy, healthy and still enjoy life. Id say military life style did not hurt them at all.

Our younger son (23) is now a father, he lives close by in Dallas...He and his GF at the time came to us little more then a year ago now when they found out a baby was on the way.. They told us, we are in this together... We are not getting married as it was not a plan before, so doing so "just because" would be dumb.. But married or not, our son will have both a mom and dad for ever..and we hope grand parents as well. They split up last month, their son, our grandson, likely does not know any difference as they live just a few miles apart deciding any more would negatively effect their son.

Our son got that sense of duty, honor, never quit, from my wife and I and his brother for sure,,, but I think the "Military lifestyle" had a part in it as well.

We have a 9 month old and my husband is gone for a few weeks of training. Our son knows enough to know that daddy is not home, and says dadadadadada all day long. He's also been extra fussy. I think it's different for kids of different ages, because my son doesn't understand why his father is gone, or where he is or when he's coming home. Older kids will obviously have more understanding.

It's tough though, being gone. However, there are lot of opportunities for positive experiences with being a military family. Although the traveling and moving is typically a career killer for spouses, I think it's good for the kids, to get them to experience more of life and different people and places than you normally would. That being said, I also plan on homeschooling so there won't be as much disruption in education. But I think overall, being a military family allows for good growth for your kids, and they won't be as "sheltered" as others who live in the same town their whole life.

The only other thing I would add is if you can-plan your family (which it sounds like you are). A lot of people don't and aren't ready (not saying you aren't) and it affects the marriage and finances, etc. (This is more for the influx of 20 year olds with 3 kids already.) We made sure our marriage was on solid ground, and we had the income to support our child without government assistance. I love being a parent and kids are great, but it also adds to the overall stress of the family.

I had two kids while on active duty. Their military experience taught them to

1) make the best of where ever they were (we told them that people paid money to travel to our various assignments so they needed to discover what those people liked),
2) be outgoing and make friends easily,
3) befriend loners who had problems making friends easily,
4) look beyond their current horizons and have a large world-view
5) shut up and stand up for the national anthem before movies at the base theater(!).
6) take on responsibilities that they otherwise might not have when dad was deployed

A couple of stories to illustrate:

We were at Universal Studios, So Cal, and came upon a "European street" complete with cobblestones, little pubs, bakeries, restaurants, etc. After our tour in Germany, our kids couldn't understand why such a run-of-the-mill street scene merited being there. We had to explain that, unlike them, that's as close as some people would get to Europe.

We moved both of our kids between their junior and senior years in high school. DEVASTATING, at the time, so we sent both of them back to our previous assignments (Cali and Japan) as part of their graduation present. Great life lesson re: not being able to go back in time. People had moved on, friends had other friends, etc. Both wished they had taken the money instead of the trips.

In the end, it's up to you. If you're positive, resilient, adventurous, etc., then military life for a kid can be fun and very educational. If you're stuck on base, it could become very boring, regimented and monochromatic.