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The Army is great for abused spouses, or even putting abused Soldiers in the barracks. They remove the Soldier, place him/her in the barracks or else detain them by the MPs. But what happens when the Soldier, who has a child, is the abused?
I was an abused spouse. I REFUSED to get MPs involved for fear of getting taken to the barracks and leave my child in the care of the abuser. The MPs told me NOT to call them, when I spoke with them "unofficially", because that is what would happen. I worked with the Victim Advocates in ACS. I had to create and maintain a bug-out-bag and leave it at work. I had to have the money to pay for an indefinite stay in a hotel, up front (we found out later that I could get reimbursed by ACS). There were no emergency services for me. I was on my own.
I was activating my safety plan when my spouse called me and made suicidal comments, which spurred me to call 911 and she ended up getting transported to a local mental health ward, and charged with Reckless Endangerment and Endangering the Welfare of a Child.
My question is this? Why did I have to wait so long? Deal with continual abuse, until there was enough to get a restraining order against her. Unless a court removes the dependent from the home, there is nothing for us to do. The MPs will remove the Soldier in virtually all scenarios, for the Soldiers safety. I had to keep my Child Protective Services liason's card, so that if I did have to call the MPs, they could contact her and she would tell them to remove me with my son and put us somewhere safe (i.e., take us to the hotel, again, out of my pocket).
We need a program for the Soldier, who has a child, when the Soldier is the victim of abuse...any thoughts?
I was an abused spouse. I REFUSED to get MPs involved for fear of getting taken to the barracks and leave my child in the care of the abuser. The MPs told me NOT to call them, when I spoke with them "unofficially", because that is what would happen. I worked with the Victim Advocates in ACS. I had to create and maintain a bug-out-bag and leave it at work. I had to have the money to pay for an indefinite stay in a hotel, up front (we found out later that I could get reimbursed by ACS). There were no emergency services for me. I was on my own.
I was activating my safety plan when my spouse called me and made suicidal comments, which spurred me to call 911 and she ended up getting transported to a local mental health ward, and charged with Reckless Endangerment and Endangering the Welfare of a Child.
My question is this? Why did I have to wait so long? Deal with continual abuse, until there was enough to get a restraining order against her. Unless a court removes the dependent from the home, there is nothing for us to do. The MPs will remove the Soldier in virtually all scenarios, for the Soldiers safety. I had to keep my Child Protective Services liason's card, so that if I did have to call the MPs, they could contact her and she would tell them to remove me with my son and put us somewhere safe (i.e., take us to the hotel, again, out of my pocket).
We need a program for the Soldier, who has a child, when the Soldier is the victim of abuse...any thoughts?
Soldiers
Children
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 1
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I agree that the Army does place the Soldier in the barracks quick, fast and in a hurry. However the CRC panel which will point the finger at the actual abuser. It is also the chain of commands decision , if the Soldier is not the abuser than the civilian police would have to get involved, and a social worker which they have on post and off post. I am not sure I am help you with this challenge you have.
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SGT(P) (Join to see)
1SG, I appreciate the feedback. Fortunately, my situation has resolved itself. I had 5 CRC cases (3 of the allegations were made and had the CRC meeting prior to my wife being removed, the other two after), which all determined my wife to be the abuser. I had the Victim Advocates, Social Work Services, and Family Advocacy all involved on base, and Child Protective Services involved off base. I was consistently told that BAH is for the spouse's residence, so they cannot remove a spouse from the home unless a court orders it. So, if anyone had to leave, it would have to be me, and I would be taken to the barracks unless I could fork up the money to pay for a second place for me and my son to live (which, who can really afford that?). However, once the restraining order was issued by the county court, my wife got removed from the home and the BAH became for my son's residence instead of my wife's.
Backing up a little. I had an informal discussion with MPs a few days after she badly bruised my arm, while I was holding my son, which is when CPS first got involved and the first CRC got started. The MPs are the ones who told me not to call them, because I would be the one to be removed unless they considered her an active threat to herself and my son at that given moment. So, they said, if she was behaving herself when the MPs got there, I would be removed and placed in the barracks and my son would stay with her, even though she was the abuser.
Backing up a little. I had an informal discussion with MPs a few days after she badly bruised my arm, while I was holding my son, which is when CPS first got involved and the first CRC got started. The MPs are the ones who told me not to call them, because I would be the one to be removed unless they considered her an active threat to herself and my son at that given moment. So, they said, if she was behaving herself when the MPs got there, I would be removed and placed in the barracks and my son would stay with her, even though she was the abuser.
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1SG Jeffrey Bergeron
well it is good the hear that it resolved itself. I will have to research this with Family Advocacy when I return to work. Hopefully your situation will improve.
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