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When I was growing up divorce was rarely heard of. Today many of us have either experienced it once or know someone that is divorced. Personally, I have been through two, and am currently separated.
I have been separated for seven months now. I have seen my estranged wife once for about twenty minutes in that time. I still wear my wedding band and continually pray for my wife and our marriage.
I do believe that God has intervened by preventing this divorce from happening. She has claimed to filed in late November, but has since admitted her lawyer took the money and ran. This I believe, I did talk to the lawyer once and he told me I should be served in the next few days. Perhaps I misunderstood him. That was more than a few months ago.
There has not been any marital unfaithfulness on either of our parts. This is the main reason I believe God has kept me hanging on, which brings me to my point.
How long does one fight and hang on before letting go? As a Christian, I do not wish to go against God's will. My motivation for this thread is not because I have cat scratch fever and am feeling the urge to merge anywhere, that has never been my style, at least it hasn't since I first married.
My problem is, I feel my life is in the balance. For seven months I have prayed and believed. Even today, I believe, but I can also sense myself losing grip. I do not pray as often or as fervently as I once did.
I can see a glimmer of hope some days, but yet on others, the only hope I have is to just get by.
Is this God telling me it is time to let go, or am I experiencing combat fatigue and just need to tighten my grip with all my might?
Sometimes it is easier for a person that is not directly involved to give a more unbiased opinion. I guess I am just trying to make sense of all the confusion and different emotions that this battle has left me with.
Any comments, suggestions, or feedback is greatly appreciated.
I have been separated for seven months now. I have seen my estranged wife once for about twenty minutes in that time. I still wear my wedding band and continually pray for my wife and our marriage.
I do believe that God has intervened by preventing this divorce from happening. She has claimed to filed in late November, but has since admitted her lawyer took the money and ran. This I believe, I did talk to the lawyer once and he told me I should be served in the next few days. Perhaps I misunderstood him. That was more than a few months ago.
There has not been any marital unfaithfulness on either of our parts. This is the main reason I believe God has kept me hanging on, which brings me to my point.
How long does one fight and hang on before letting go? As a Christian, I do not wish to go against God's will. My motivation for this thread is not because I have cat scratch fever and am feeling the urge to merge anywhere, that has never been my style, at least it hasn't since I first married.
My problem is, I feel my life is in the balance. For seven months I have prayed and believed. Even today, I believe, but I can also sense myself losing grip. I do not pray as often or as fervently as I once did.
I can see a glimmer of hope some days, but yet on others, the only hope I have is to just get by.
Is this God telling me it is time to let go, or am I experiencing combat fatigue and just need to tighten my grip with all my might?
Sometimes it is easier for a person that is not directly involved to give a more unbiased opinion. I guess I am just trying to make sense of all the confusion and different emotions that this battle has left me with.
Any comments, suggestions, or feedback is greatly appreciated.
Transition
God
Divorce
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 2
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Keep praying!!!!You must release all these doubts and worrisome thoughts It even seems like you are beating yourself up for not praying enough... you are enough even if no one suggests it You are the person God has molded you to be. When you feel overwhelmed, give it to him, realize you are not in charge. Try to silence any negative thoughts. I am not a perfect person but with every downfall I feel it brings me to realize that I am growing closer to God.
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LCpl Steve Wininger
Thanks SPC Lovie.
Prayer, Is about all I can do. I do try to silence negative thoughts, praise and thanksgiving really help in that area. I have lived on Psalm 121, Isaiah 48: 10, all of John chapter 15, and stood on every promise the bible has to say about divorce and marriage.
One of the lessons I learned just after this all began was, as much as I wanted to be, I was not in charge. In early February I hit bottom and attempted to take my own life, never doing that again. Since then, i have made a huge comeback in my own life. Personally, I believe it was the only way God could get me to listen.
I agree that I am the person God has molded me to be, actually, I think he is still working out the rough edges. My problem is, that in all this it is easy to get lost on who I am.
I appreciate the feedback, words on encouragement and the advice.
Prayer, Is about all I can do. I do try to silence negative thoughts, praise and thanksgiving really help in that area. I have lived on Psalm 121, Isaiah 48: 10, all of John chapter 15, and stood on every promise the bible has to say about divorce and marriage.
One of the lessons I learned just after this all began was, as much as I wanted to be, I was not in charge. In early February I hit bottom and attempted to take my own life, never doing that again. Since then, i have made a huge comeback in my own life. Personally, I believe it was the only way God could get me to listen.
I agree that I am the person God has molded me to be, actually, I think he is still working out the rough edges. My problem is, that in all this it is easy to get lost on who I am.
I appreciate the feedback, words on encouragement and the advice.
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LCpl Steve Wininger
I guess what prompted me to make this post is, when do you know that it is time to let loose verses hanging on?
As I mentioned in my opening remarks, I am starting to experience combat fatigue.
As I mentioned in my opening remarks, I am starting to experience combat fatigue.
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SPC Rebecca Lovie
I believe there is a reason you've been holding on. Not everyone would agree, I know, but with the little you've shared you have been praying and following your heart so far. Keep looking up =)
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LCpl Steve Wininger
I do believe that. I have even been to the point where I asked God to remove her from my heart, but She is still there. However, I did not ask it because I was actually over her and as selfish as it sounds, I simply did not want to hurt anymore.
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What actionable plan do you have in place for your desired outcome, besides praying, believing, and hoping?
In other words, what are YOU trying to do to move forward?
Are the two of you seeking counseling?
By your post, it appears that your wife doesn't want anything to do with the marriage (you've only seen her for 20 minutes in seven months and YOU'RE praying for HER).
In other words, what are YOU trying to do to move forward?
Are the two of you seeking counseling?
By your post, it appears that your wife doesn't want anything to do with the marriage (you've only seen her for 20 minutes in seven months and YOU'RE praying for HER).
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LCpl Steve Wininger
I continually reach out to her, at this point about the only way I can do that is by telling her I love her, showing concern, and trying to engage her in conversation that does not put any pressure of expectation on her. Essentially, I am trying to rebuild the lines of communication, and breach any defenses that have been built up. The only way this can be accomplished is through text and e-mail. There is the rare phone conversations that are more civil than they once were.
I have sent her money without her asking. Three months ago, a text from me would have gotten an indigent and hateful response. so definitely she would not have wanted the marriage to work. Now I sense confusion on her part, which is the reason I am approaching things with caution and much thought. Today there is at least a trickle of daily communication, and it is not hateful just indifferent.
As far as me moving forward, I am continuing my education, and trying to put my life back together. I do it with the hope that maybe one day this nightmare will be over, but I also keep in mind that may marriage may very well be over.
I have suggested marriage counseling from the start. I did ask her in the brief time we had together if she had an idea of what she wanted to do about us. Her response was that she did not want to tell me something that would build my hope. Usually an ambiguous response is the best I can get.
I appreciate your questions and feedback Master Sargent. They have been excellent points that I need to consider.
I have sent her money without her asking. Three months ago, a text from me would have gotten an indigent and hateful response. so definitely she would not have wanted the marriage to work. Now I sense confusion on her part, which is the reason I am approaching things with caution and much thought. Today there is at least a trickle of daily communication, and it is not hateful just indifferent.
As far as me moving forward, I am continuing my education, and trying to put my life back together. I do it with the hope that maybe one day this nightmare will be over, but I also keep in mind that may marriage may very well be over.
I have suggested marriage counseling from the start. I did ask her in the brief time we had together if she had an idea of what she wanted to do about us. Her response was that she did not want to tell me something that would build my hope. Usually an ambiguous response is the best I can get.
I appreciate your questions and feedback Master Sargent. They have been excellent points that I need to consider.
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