11 things that happened when I became a Veteran

Capt Richard Desmond — Mon, 18 Jan 2016 20:35:23 -0500

My two-year anniversary of being a veteran just passed. As I reflect on this humbling transition from service member to civilian, I have noticed several things that happened. They just may be me or they may be universal truths that must be added to TAPs.

1. First you get fat. Unless you’re that guy or gal that was doing marathons for fun you are going to stop running. You will plan to stay just as fit or unfit as you were in the service. A gym membership will be bought and not used and new shoes will be fitted by a foot specialist because you think you finally have the time to run as a hobby. But then you remember you hate running. Then your Fitbit will remind you that you took like 20 steps and burned 10 calories in the last 24 hours. It doesn’t know you consumed 4,000 calories as you shopped for fitness apps.

2. You will notice all the Active Duty deals and privileges you didn’t care about when you were in. I want to go on base! I want to go to the USO for free candy and cup of noodles! I want my 10% discount at Hobby Lobby! I didn’t want to do any of this until I couldn’t.

3. You will play the veteran card at customer service reps and applying for school. It is almost like if I tell you I am a veteran and you don’t accept me or give me what I want, you are an anti-American communist terrorist. You almost wish it was like Starship Troopers where only vets can be true citizens. Then I imagine true citizenship comes with the ability to board planes first, discounts, and never standing in line for anything.

4. If you were in the Air Force you will constantly look in the sky when an aircraft flies over and announce what it is, especially when you are around people who don’t care.

5. Everyone in uniform will probably think you are a stalker since you stare intently on people’s uniforms looking for Stolen Valor or uniform discrepancies you can call out.

6. You say the VA and a curse word at least 20 times a day.

7. You constantly shout, “What about the Vets!?” even when it has nothing to do with the military.

8. You deck out in all your veteran gear and still awkwardly say how did you know?

9. You try and in my case fail to grow a beard and discover you are genetically predisposed to never grow a beard.

10. You don’t shave, get a haircut, and generally lax all hygienic routines until shame forces you to get a military haircut since the feeling of hair on your ears is weird.

11. You refer to your service as "when you were in" and "when you got out." Also you state "I did my time" or "I served my term." We ask other vets if "they served", "where were you stationed at", and "did you do time in sandbox." All of these phrases can easily be misinterpreted by civilians as serving prison time.

What are your observations of what happens when you are a veteran?

Response by SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL made Jan 18 at 2016 8:38 PM

SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL — Mon, 18 Jan 2016 20:38:33 -0500

Capt Richard Desmond thanks for keeping me honest. You got it right, my way.(lol)

Response by PO1 Matthew Murdock made Jan 18 at 2016 8:45 PM

PO1 Matthew Murdock — Mon, 18 Jan 2016 20:45:18 -0500

Beard growing was my first thing I did!! And I did not fail... Lol

Response by SSgt Dan Montague made Jan 18 at 2016 9:06 PM

SSgt Dan Montague — Mon, 18 Jan 2016 21:06:53 -0500

Took me about a year and a half to keep a beard and allow my hair to grow. I would keep the short hair, but hair cuts are $20+ around here. Cant be dropping almost a ninety bucks a month for a hair cut.

Response by MSgt Daniel Attilio made Jan 18 at 2016 9:10 PM

MSgt Daniel Attilio — Mon, 18 Jan 2016 21:10:52 -0500

When I retired I intended to never run again but..... After couple years I started doing 5Ks mostly cause passive healthy was not as effective as I hoped and I didn't want to become a food blister. Its not bad since its at my pace and no mandatory times except on day of the 5K - and it comes with coin and shirt

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Jan 18 at 2016 9:23 PM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Mon, 18 Jan 2016 21:23:47 -0500

1) Woke up one morning looked at the scale and said "oh hell no" and ran the hardest mile of my life the following day. Knew the only way I would keep doing it is if I paid to do it. Ran Marine Corps Marathon the next year. Have 4x MCMs under my belt now (and an ultra). I loath running, but I hate that scale more.

2) I really miss the commissary on Quantico. I know it's stupid, but they had a nice selection and decent pricing compared to out in town.

6) I can rant about the VA for days....

10) Haircut 2x a year whether I need it or not. Shave? What's that. I bought electric clippers and keep a "Bradley Cooper Special" going year round. I'm not asking Sabrina the Teenage Witch to unlock the razors anymore...

11) What happened "over there" stays "over there."

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 18 at 2016 9:31 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 18 Jan 2016 21:31:00 -0500

7 and 8 are right up my alley.
10 is good too for my chin.
1 had me noped out for a minute, though. I love my gym.

Response by PFC Ariel Granet made Jan 18 at 2016 9:34 PM

PFC Ariel Granet — Mon, 18 Jan 2016 21:34:32 -0500

Out of shape? Never. But I am very guilty of purchasing gym memberships I never use. Work for me is an 8 hour hardcore aerobic workout. So what if I don't go to perfect the certain areas that need just a bit more work to achieve my viewpoint of perfection? Unhygienic? Okay only when times were hard and I couldn't afford shampoo and conditioner that didn't make my hair fall out by the handful. I'd go a day or two at a time without washing my hair because I had to. All the rest, I'm also pretty guilty with the exception of attempting to grow a beard... looks too itchy. Lol

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 18 at 2016 10:23 PM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 18 Jan 2016 22:23:36 -0500

So true...so true
I also find that I seem to possess a knowledge of military matters I never had while actually serving LOL

Response by SSgt Robert Clark made Jan 19 at 2016 1:20 AM

SSgt Robert Clark — Tue, 19 Jan 2016 01:20:02 -0500

23 years after the fact I still say "When I was in the military" - it's my frame of reference for everything, especially at work. They don't get it.
I tried to grow my hair, but didn't like it long. Almost 11 years conditioned me to keep my hair short.
I can't grow a beard to save my life. I shave once a week, but I don't grow a beard, more like a scraggly mess.
I do miss going on base. It'd be nice to be able to visit the exchange, but mostly I miss hanging out at the bowling ally and drinking a beer with friends. Or going to the NCO/enlisted club on Fri after a long week of work and letting my hair down with my work mates.
Sadly, exercise and working out only happens once a year and then I remember how much I hate exercise and working out. I need to, but that is one area that I am extremely unmotivated.
I pretty much never advertise I am a veteran with retailers or schools and I don't wear anything veteran related. Very few people actually know I am a veteran, mostly just my management at work.

Response by SrA Matthew Knight made Jan 19 at 2016 1:50 AM

SrA Matthew Knight — Tue, 19 Jan 2016 01:50:03 -0500

Weight gain is optional, facial hair growth at least for men is mandatory at least for the first few months until you realize how annoying it is and get rid of it again. Veteran hats, whether they be deployment or service specific are mandatory. Veteran license plates or license plate borders are frequently purchased. Comments about "The good ol' days" and "When I was in we..." are also pretty usual.

Response by LTC David Brown made Jan 19 at 2016 4:36 AM

LTC David Brown — Tue, 19 Jan 2016 04:36:44 -0500

Every one knew I was a vet by how I dated my signature and documents. "Oh, we're you in the Army"? 16 years later still doing it!

Response by COL John Hudson made Jan 19 at 2016 7:57 AM

COL John Hudson — Tue, 19 Jan 2016 07:57:39 -0500

Yes, beards are nice. Day 3 or 4 of new growth goes through a very irritating "scratchy" phase! Once past that, you're okay. My Navy brother was the first to advise me, "you get some pretty nasty zits under that face hair!" He was RIGHT! Good news, though, is that they don't show.

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 19 at 2016 8:22 AM

SGM Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 19 Jan 2016 08:22:53 -0500

I've had a lot of friends get out recently who used to complain DAILY about how much they hated the Army. Now their Facebook feed is spammed with pictures of them wearing their Army gear doing mundane tasks and telling everybody about their service. It makes no sense to me.

Response by SSG Donald Mceuen made Jan 19 at 2016 11:37 AM

SSG Donald Mceuen — Tue, 19 Jan 2016 11:37:19 -0500

well i have 6 years on my beard and cut whats left of my hair 1 time a year
but i do santa for kids that are under prevledged

Response by PO2 Ric Beard made Jan 19 at 2016 2:21 PM

PO2 Ric Beard — Tue, 19 Jan 2016 14:21:29 -0500

All muscles eventually succumb to gravity...it's as if I slowly began melting for the past 10 years. So there. Thanks for bringing it up.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 20 at 2016 11:52 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 11:52:25 -0500

tried growing a bear...it just looks like I need a shave after 5 days...
try explaining what a veteran is to a civilian and they just 'don't get it
other vets recognize me as a vet and say, 'it's the way you carry yourself' (that part I don't get...)
my entire family prefers my hair longer...except me...(as you can tell from the picture on the left.)
Defensive Driving 101 (learned while in military)
easily startled
4 hours of sleep is a good sleep
retained saying 'yes, sir; no, ma'am'
Ask about veteran's discounts...
don't mind waiting 4+ hours in ER (you know, hurry up and wait...)
still looking for my ruck...

Response by PO1 John Miller made Jan 22 at 2016 12:52 AM

PO1 John Miller — Fri, 22 Jan 2016 00:52:58 -0500

I grew out my beard. I keep my hair short still, but not within Navy regulations. I would grow that out but my wife forbids it. I'm thinking about getting my ears pierced.

I was at Walmart a few months ago wearing a ballcap that says "Dysfunctional Veteran. Leave Me Alone" on it. Some guy asked me "Are you a veteran?" I thought about being a smart ass and saying "What makes you think that?" but I said "Yes sir..." and he shook my hand and thanked me for my service.

Response by CDR Michael Goldschmidt made Jan 22 at 2016 5:39 PM

CDR Michael Goldschmidt — Fri, 22 Jan 2016 17:39:51 -0500

Funny, but, although I retired, I don't feel entitled to anything. If businesses want to give me discounts, great, but I only engage on the vet thing with people I think are other vets. As for airplanes, I've done that all my life, but I've found I don't even like jets much, let alone military jets. Give me a piston-engine bug smasher prop plane anytime, especially if it's an antique: bonus for wood and fabric. Of course, when I was in the sandbox, all I could dream about was flying around Vermont with no one even thinking of shooting at me. Now, I don't do it because I can't afford it and because I'm too nervous to try to get a physical.

P.S. You're a vet. You'll never be a civilian. Con-fucking-grats.

Response by Capt Brandon Charters made Jan 25 at 2016 9:49 AM

Capt Brandon Charters — Mon, 25 Jan 2016 09:49:08 -0500

Every once in awhile, I'll see a white topped vehicle on the road and muscle memory will tell me to salute. I'm getting better at refraining.

Response by PFC Leander Yazzie made Jan 27 at 2016 11:52 AM

PFC Leander Yazzie — Wed, 27 Jan 2016 11:52:28 -0500

Out of shape? Check!
Blow through my money like its nothing? Check!
Get a high and tight? Check!
Still wear 8" tactical boots when traveling? Check!

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 18 at 2016 11:06 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 18 Mar 2016 11:06:13 -0400

#10. I'm still in and I have to get haircuts between drill because the feeling of hair touching my ears drives me nuts.

Response by CSM Richard StCyr made Oct 18 at 2017 1:32 PM

CSM Richard StCyr — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 13:32:59 -0400

Tried the long hair and beard thing when I first retired. The hair drove me bat shit so it never got over my ears and the beard came off the day a waiter announced it was nice that my youngest daughter could go to lunch with Grand Pa and a coworker said I looked like the Grotons fisherman since my beard came in white as snow.

Response by SSG Antoinette Azevedo Toscano made Oct 18 at 2017 2:52 PM

SSG Antoinette Azevedo Toscano — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 14:52:02 -0400

Two days after I became a veteran and started a civilian job in the same city, my salary nearly doubled. I was an E6 in the dental field when I left the Army. A year later I was recruited to another IT company and was offered the equivalent of an Army Major's salary. My advice if you are currently serving in the armed forces is to get a college education and have a marketable skill. It's not enough to just have a college degree. I had a degree in economics and IT skills--self-taught.

Response by SSG Antoinette Azevedo Toscano made Oct 18 at 2017 4:05 PM

SSG Antoinette Azevedo Toscano — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 16:05:26 -0400

There were twenty-something-year-olds that I managed who had more work experience and technical knowledge than I did. They were making money at tech-jobs beginning in high school. By the time they graduated from college at twenty-two they had been entrepreneurs and had at least one other IT job. I had a lot of catching up to do. The one area they came to me to learn was how to be a leader. They took the time to show me the additional technical skills I needed for my job and I taught them leadership skills. Transitioning into the civilian sector can be a humbling experience for someone who is used to excelling--don't let it get you down. Find a mentor or four--even if they are younger than you.

Response by SP5 Joel McDargh made Oct 18 at 2017 4:25 PM

SP5 Joel McDargh — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 16:25:50 -0400

Anti-social behavior, locking friends and family out, bouts of rage for no apparent reason.

Response by SSG Tom Tonika made Dec 28 at 2017 2:33 PM

SSG Tom Tonika — Thu, 28 Dec 2017 14:33:41 -0500

For me #1 Look around to see if anyone noticed your hands were in your pockets. #2 Take a quick scan of the area looking for your sunglasses. Start looking in places you would never leave them, bend down to see if they fell off something and have them fall off the brim of you hat. lol that one suckes!!!